this is for @-svnny_skiies- 's christmas writing contest!

title: A Christmas Ballad

context: this takes place in the hunger games, after the ballad of songbirds and snakes, during the christmas after lucy gray's disappearance. coriolanus snow had returned to the capitol, gained all the riches and glory he'd wanted, then, during christmas, decided that he wanted to know what happened to lucy gray.

word count: 2550

~~~

CORIOLANUS SNOW has gotten everything he's wanted, and more, at that. A year ago, he lived in a sparse apartment with a delusional grandmother, eating cabbage soup to keep his stomach from growling and worrying about taxes on his home to keep up the Snow name. His plan was simple: get a scholarship to the University, graduate, then become president of Panem, so that no one could ever scoff or upturn their noses at him.

There isn't anything Coriolanus isn't willing to do to protect his family name. Still, in all the times he'd pictured regaining the Snow wealth, it wasn't quite like this.

Coriolanus, his grandmother, and cousin, Tigris, now live in an apartment lavishly furnished and paid for by Strabo Plinth. His tuition for University was covered by Strabo Plinth. And, once Strabo Plinth dies, it was Coriolanus who receives his fortune.

He couldn't say he didn't deserve it. After last year, risking his life again and again for Sejanus Plinth, and having been mocked mercilessly years prior for speaking to Sejanus, this was simply a product of his hard work. Coriolanus had been Sejanus's only friend, and now that the Plinth boy was gone, it only made sense for Strabo to adopt Coriolanus as his heir.

Now, as Coriolanus confidently finishes up his last midterm for his advanced military strategy class, he can't help but grin. Today's the last day of classes before the holiday break; he's easily proving himself as an apprentice Gamemaker, rising rapidly above his peers and even some Gamemakers themselves; and, he expects that a lavish meal will be waiting for him once he gets home. 

Though, if Tigris had any say in it, it was likely salmon. The grin almost fades from Coriolanus's face at the thought. He's so sick of salmon. The Plinths have invited the Snows over for a Christmas dinner in the next few days, though. There, his cousin has no say in the food.

He stands up from from his seat and walks over to his professor's desk, preening a little as his classmates look up from their own papers in surprise, eyes widening at how quickly he'd finished. 

As he approaches, his professor and Head Gamemaker, Dr. Volumnia Gaul, looks up lazily from her book. Her one hazy brown eye and one piercing blue one can be disorienting; however, Coriolanus has long gotten used to it. "Done already?"

He gives her a charming smile. "Well, I do very much enjoy this class. It takes very little motivation for me to work hard in it."

Dr. Gaul laughs her little creepy cackle. "You may go, Mr. Snow. And I expect we'll see you at the Gamemakers' meeting this evening?"

"Of course."

The Head Gamemaker waves her hand, dismissing him, and Coriolanus turns sharply on his heels and exits the room, pulling on his new, thick coat as he does. An early Christmas gift from the Plinths.

It's dusk. The sunset beams through the University's hallway windows, and though Coriolanus expects to find the corridors empty due to the late time, it's not. A silhouette from the end of the hallway grows larger as the person approaches, and he sighs heavily through his nose when he recognizes the blonde girl speeding towards him.

"Miss Cardew," he greets somewhat coldly.

"Coryo," she replies, sickly sweet. 

It seems that whereas Coriolanus's strategy is to stay as distant and aloof as possible, Livia Cardew's is to use close, personal things to get under his skin. This is evident in the nickname she just called him, a nickname she knows she has no right using despite being his girlfriend. It was reserved for family and friends only, and Coriolanus's blood boils - the same way it had boiled when Sejanus used it all those months ago.

He picks up a quick stride, uncaring as to whether or not she's able to keep up. "What do you want?"

He hates her, and she hates him. That was precisely why he chose her to be his girlfriend in the first place. He would need a first lady, and there's no chance he'd ever love her. She couldn't make him do weak and foolish things.

And on her side, after becoming Dr. Gaul's apprentice, it was clear to everyone that Coriolanus Snow was the next rising star. This was Livia Cardew's chance to grab on and ride to the top with him. And it was always ever so supportive when she threatens to break up with him should he not become president.

"My parents want to know if you're coming to our Christmas supper," Livia snaps. "You never answered their invitation."

Her voice is too pitchy, her blue eyes too much like Dr. Gaul's, her face too pointy. Everything about her is so sharp and uninviting, especially compared to Lucy Gray-

Coriolanus cuts off his train of thought, shaking his head. No, forget about her. The tapings of the 10th annual Hunger Games have been erased, and other than the unfortunate event of Felix Ravinstill's death, the events and victor of this year's Hunger Games are already fading from people's minds. Everyone else has forgotten her; now, he needs to, too.

"Can't. I'm having Christmas dinner with the Plinths."

"Oh, that's nice," Livia hisses. "And I guess I'll just have to go home and explain to my parents why my boyfriend won't put any effort into making a good impression."

Coriolanus rubs the bridge of his nose irritably. "It's not like you ever tried to get along with my family."

"Well at least I agreed to meet them."

He stops shortly, turning around to face the girl with dangerous eyes. "I'm a busy man, Miss Cardew. I have many more things on my mind than groveling to your parents. I'm sure I'll meet them someday, at one function or another."

"Yeah," Livia answers sarcastically. "Maybe at our wedding."

Coriolanus, though, nods approvingly at the thought. "Now that would be perfect."

~~~

THE GAMEMAKERS' MEETING was long, as it usually was. After supper (salmon, like Coriolanus predicted), he heads over to the Control Room, where the Gamemakers work. When he enters, Vipsania Sickle and Clemencia Dovecote are already seated at the apprentices' table.

Both had been mentors with him during the 10th Hunger Games. The three were chosen due to their tributes being the last three standing in the Games, though - as Coriolanus believed - Clemencia and Vipsania played little part in that.

Although Vipsania showed some enthusiasm, it's clear that Clemencia didn't wish to be here at all. The weird, scaley patches on her skin only appear to be more disgusting at night, and her once beautiful eyes look particularly snake-like as they dart around the room unhappily.

Coriolanus takes a seat beside her, careful to avoid her gaze.

Dr. Gaul started the meeting at around 8 p.m., and it was a quarter past midnight when she finally dismissed everyone. The other Gamemakers rose to their feet tiredly, but Coriolanus was full of energy. Ideas had practically flown out of his mouth tonight, ideas like a village for the victors and stylists for the tributes. And, by the pleased look Dr. Gaul gave him, he knew he'd done a good job.

Now, he's leaving the Control Room with hardly a word to Vipsania or Clemencia. The latter had rushed off as soon as possible - though not without giving Coriolanus a blithering stare - and Vipsania chatters his ear off all the way from the Control Room to the building's front entrance.

In all his years of attending the Academy with her, she's barely ever spoken more than a word to him; it seems it's true that power and status really is everything.

When he reaches the front door, he notices it's snowing. The first snowfall of the season, and he's watching it with this annoying girl beside him. He looks out into the flurries, growing stronger and stronger with each passing second.

"You're as pure as the driven snow."

He can't help but remember her voice. The memory's not even a year old, yet it feels like an entire lifetime ago. Is she still alive?

Suddenly, before he knew what he was doing, Coriolanus strides away from Vipsania coldly and into the dark night. He walks through the streets with tunnel vision, a tunnel vision he only snaps out of when he reaches his destination: the train station.

He stares at the building for several heartbeats. Is he really doing this?

Perhaps Christmas has put him in some sort of weird mood, because he makes his way into the station, though not without looking left and right to make sure nobody sees him.

The person managing the ticket booth looks bored, tired, and more than ready for the holidays. He sits up lazily when Coriolanus enters, and, never quite looking at the blonde's face, mumbles, "Where would you like to go Mr.-" 

Now, finally, he looks up, and his jaw instantly drops and he snaps into attention when he recognizes Coriolanus.

"-Mr. Snow?!" he all but screeches in shock.

Coriolanus does his best to play off the ticket booth manager's reaction, and pulls some money out of his pockets. "A ticket to District 12, please."

The ticket agent narrows his eyes. "District 12? During the holidays?"

"Dr. Gaul wants me to check over some things there." The lie comes out of Coriolanus's mouth easily, like second nature. "The Victor Village. She wants me to make sure the districts have enough room to build it."

The ticket agent accepts this answer, although a little suspiciously, and hands Coriolanus his ticket. "The train's due to arrive in ten minutes."

The blonde's hands are shaking a little as he accepts the tickets - he manages to still them enough so that the ticket agent doesn't notice, but his lack of steadiness is more than obvious to himself. A train ride to 12 takes about two days, and he hasn't brought any food or supplies with him at all.

Still, when the train comes, he gets on it - partly because of whatever spontaneous adrenaline he'd felt when he saw the first snowfall, and partly because of the lie he'd told the ticket agent that he now can't back out of.

He spends the entirety of the trip doing three things. Scolding himself:

What am I doing? How could I be doing this? District 12? Seriously? And for what?

Reasoning his rash action:

But it is the holidays. There's no school, no more Gamemakers' meetings. As long as I'm back for the Plinth dinner, nobody will even notice I've been gone.

And preparing himself to see Lucy Gray again:

What would I say to her? Coriolanus rubs his face tiredly. He's furious with her. He risked everything - his life, and, arguably more important, his reputation - for her, and she left him like an ungrateful dog that bites the hand that feeds it.

But, despite all this, the reason he's on this train at all is because he wants to see her again.

When he finally arrives at District 12, Coriolanus knows exactly where he wants to go. Though only walking it twice, he knows the path to the lake like the back of his hand.

The edges of the lake is frozen. The ice glints in the morning sun, so beautifully delicate yet so dangerously bright. Snow covers the ground, the sand, the plants.

He remembers it all. He'd swam in this lake, fished in this lake, talked about his future beside this lake. The gun he'd used to shoot the mayor's daughter, Mayfair Lipp, is buried somewhere in these waters. And it's the katniss plants growing by this shore that Lucy Gray claimed she was going to dig up when she disappeared.

Coriolanus looks around, and as more and more memories overtake him, his breathing begins to slow with anger. Lucy Gray. Where was she? What'd happened to her? Dead? Surely not. If an arena full of desperate tributes couldn't kill her, then the weather certainly wouldn't be able to, either.

Where had she told him she wanted to go? Up North. But where is up North? What does that even mean?

Suddenly, he hears a thump. 

Slowly, Coriolanus turns to his left. The cabin. The cabin by the lake. The thump came from there. He isn't sure how, but his breathing has turned ragged now, and he stumbles for it like a madman. 

Is she in the cabin? He'd ruled that out when she first disappeared, but where else would she go? This was far away enough from District 12 for her to be safe, but not so far away that she's in a completely strange place. Nobody knew about this lake and this cabin except for her and the Covey. Did she come back after he'd gone?

He lugs himself onto the porch and lunges for the door handle, gripping it tightly in his hand but not turning it. His breath comes out unevenly, a little crazed. Was she in here?

"Lucy Gray?" he calls out. The cursed name, the one he'd avoided like a bear to a bee's nest, felt weird and unused on his tongue. No answer. "Lucy Gray?"

When he receives only silence again, he flings the door open.

The door bangs loudly against the wall, and two squirrels scramble out. Coriolanus's breathing is still heavy, though, when he surveys the cabin. It's empty. There's nobody there.

He looks around. The floor is dusty. The floorboard, from when he'd upturned it to find the guns, still hasn't been put back. He can see the fishing rods tucked away under there. 

Nobody's in here.

Then, suddenly, Coriolanus lets out a yell of frustration and launches an angry kick to the wall. Again and again. Lucy Gray isn't in here. Nobody's been here. 

Gradually, his kicks cease, and Coriolanus slides down onto the ground. His breaths are angry now, and he stares forward in pure, trembling, barely-contained fury. Why isn't Lucy Gray here? Doesn't she at least owe him this, after everything he's done for her?

He'd gotten his hopes up too high. He truly thought it was her in the cabin, and when his hypothesis turned out to be wrong, he threw a temper tantrum like a child who didn't get his way.

But he loved her, and that was the worst of it all. Livia Cardew could never make him take a spontaneous trip for her.

What would he have done if he'd found her in here? Kiss her or kill her? He couldn't very well let her go. That was against Panem laws. He would have to bring her back to District 12 or the Capitol to be tried for her crimes. Killing her here would be better than for her than to be in the hands of Dr. Gaul. He would be doing her a favor.

It's good she's not in here. Good he doesn't have to deal with that. He hopes he never sees her again.

Slowly, shakily, he rises back to his feet. This had all just been a fluke. This entire trip is just a fluke.

He stumbles over to the upturned floorboard, sniffles as he gathers his composure, and carefully puts it back in place. Like it'd never been moved in the first place, burying the memories of Lucy Gray.

Coriolanus Snow straightens then sighs. He looks to the cabin's doorway, then past it to the forest, in the direction of District 12's train station.

He needed to get back to the Capitol. He had a Christmas dinner at the Plinth's to catch, after all.

~~~

not super duper action packed, but i had a really fun time writing it!!