I start school tomorrow.

It's honestly crazy how time flies. Starting tomorrow, I'm gonna be a senior in high school. It's still sinking in. This year is my last year to make an impression on colleges, my last year of not being an adult. Soon, I'll be filling out college applications and facing the real world that I haven't been fully exposed to for 17 years.

The thing is...am I ready?

I used to think a year was a lot but I realize now that it really isn't.

Only one year to get good enough to continue chasing my dream. One year to make up for my lazy junior year.

One final year of freedom before I start getting a taste of what true responsibility is like.

I don't know if I'm ready to become an adult yet.

I'm not as smart as other people. Everyone else is already talking about complex things that I feel I'm supposed to know already. Everyone else is so much smarter than me that I don't even know if I would last a day in the world even if I was mentally ready.

Couple my lack of mental readiness with my other issues and you have a kid that would most likely struggle to even find a job let alone make it big.

It feels like I've been given the worst traits a human can have. The things that I need to make it are areas I'm weak in. I'm antisocial and terrible at communicating, sometimes I don't even think before I speak, there's times where I can be hotheaded, and not to mention I have to be at the lowest point of my life emotionally at a time where I need to be my toughest.

I'm at the point where no matter how much people tell me to fight it all I'm not even confident that I can even stand up. I've been able to surprise myself occasionally sure, but I won't be able to always do it.

Anyways, there's my mini rant that got more emotional than I intended to. Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.