•I'm a broke dicked bitch and a broke dicked bitch needs attention.

•I'm fucking Jack Townsend. At least I get to hang out with Jerry!

•Guess I'll just chill with Daddy Michael Myers now.

•The next time (my ex) sticks his tiny baby dick anywhere near my ass, I'll cut it off with razor blade!

•Tell me why I was dreaming about eating a bucket of fried chicken.
 
•Big wolf daddy, why have you forsaken me?!

•"Hot psycho guy"? How thirsty you gotta be...? Oh wait, I'm that thirsty.

•(cursing while hurting) Dick biscuits!

•I feel like somebody tried to chop my leg off like in Saw and failed!

•Shoes are evil!

•I'd rather have a big tittied bitch strap me to the bed and give me cock and ball torture! (I don't have a dick btw)

•(yelling at my broken ankle) Fuck you bitch! Suck my ridges!

•I use words God was never meant to hear.

•(cursing) Titty whores!

•(@ my ankle) I will pee on you!

•(texting my girlfriend) Man I need some damn morphine before I beat my broken foot with my good foot!

•Is God punishing me? I will fuck him in the ass!

•(cursing) Great Daddy Lucifer's cock!

•(cursing) Titty sprinkles!

•(cursing) Great Minotaurs balls!

•I'm not gonna steal your shit, imma burn it!

•I just got bodied by shoes!

•Cas, tell your winged dick brothers to stop sucking on God's titties and man up!

•God's angel hookers!

•I think I qualify for broke dick parking now!

•(yelling at the tv) THIS IS WHY YOU PACKS THE TOAST!

•(@ my wife) Your shoes chose violence!

•Making my way downtown, waddling fast, I'm a Penguin go fuck yourself! Doo doo doo doo honk honk doo doo doo doo honk honk!

•OMG they talking about sacrificing their friend! The Christians have struck again!

•I have 150 problems and they're all my personalities!

•You should show Michael Myers some respect. He's daddy!

•*dying pterodactyl noises*

•(referring to my cat) Baby, there's pussy in the closet!/The pussy is on the shelf!/I told you there was pussy in the closet!

•(nonchalantly) Oh there's a bruise on my hand! It's blue!

•Fuck (exs) bitch in the ass with a glitter rainbow dildo that's 6 foot long!

•*yelling random book titles*

•(cursing) Freddy Krueger's crispy burnt penis!

•(also cursing) Chucky's fluff for balls!

•Dick waffles!

•The banana splits animatronic asses!

•Wolf titties

•Shit darts

•I may be broke dicked but I'm still that bitch!

•Bitch titties!

•Horse tacos!

•Miss Lovetts meat pies!

•(looking at the huge bruise wrapped around my entire foot) My ankle decided I wasn't gay enough!