Hell-Bound Hiccups 2: Charlie's Inferno
Part 2
Summary: In which Charlie Bradbury becomes a fan girl.
Setting: Supernatural season 8
Setting: A dusty bunker hallway, the next morning. Sam and Dean are still recovering from summoning the wrong Lucifer.
Charlie Bradbury enters with an energy drink in hand, red hair in a messy braid, wearing a "Chaotic Good" t-shirt and a leather jacket with buttons that say "I’d rather be LARPing."
* * * * *
CHARLIE: “Okay, so I just got your text, Dean. ‘We summoned Lucifer. Wrong one. Send help.’ You wanna explain?”
DEAN: (pale, sipping coffee) “It wasn’t our Lucifer. It was... another universe’s. Cartoony. Flashy. Think Beetlejuice meets David Bowie meets Satan.”
CHARLIE: (blinks) “You summoned Hazbin Hotel Lucifer?”
SAM: “Wait, you know that guy?!”
CHARLIE: “Duh. He’s legendary in certain fandom circles. Lounge-singer demon daddy? Sharp suit? Massive ‘dad of the year’ energy? Yeah, I know him.”
DEAN: “He sang at us.”
CHARLIE: “Did he call you ‘bitches’?”
DEAN: “Right out the gate.”
CHARLIE: (grinning like a kid on Christmas) “Yup. That’s him. Oh my Chuck—did you guys record it?!”
SAM: “We were too shocked to move.”
CHARLIE: “Damn. I’ve been trying to find a way into that dimension for years. I even wrote fanfic where I run his infernal IT department.”
DEAN: (choking on coffee) “You wrote fanfic about the literal devil?”
CHARLIE: “Not your devil. This one. Big difference. One’s a brooding angel with a God complex. The other? Sings about sin like it’s a cabaret act and probably has a Pinterest board for cocktails and chaos.”
SAM: “So, you want to meet him?”
CHARLIE: (eyes gleaming) “Dean, if you don’t summon him again, I will personally install a virus on your car.”
DEAN: “You wouldn’t.”
CHARLIE: (serious) “Try me.”
* * * * *
[Later, in the summoning room again]
Candles lit. Sigils redrawn. Energy crackling.
SAM: “Alright, same incantation, different expectations.”
DEAN: “God help us.”
They finish the chant. Smoke again. Energy again. Then—
LUCIFER (Hazbin): “Helloooo again, mortals! Miss me?”
He lands in a dramatic pose, wearing a red feather boa this time.
CHARLIE: (screaming) “Oh. My. SATAN. You’re real. You’re so much hotter in person.”
LUCIFER: (flashing teeth) “And you must be my newest fan. I do adore enthusiastic mortals. Especially the queer, chaotic kind.”
CHARLIE: “I will literally fight angels for your playlist.”
LUCIFER: “Charming. Dangerous. I like her. May I keep her?”
DEAN: “NO.”
CHARLIE: “Maybe.”
Lucifer chuckles, spins, and tosses her a glowing coin inscribed with a flaming “L.”
LUCIFER: “Summon me anytime, sweetheart. We’ll have martinis and mischief. I’ve got a karaoke machine that can summon spirits—dead and living.”
CHARLIE: (fangirling at maximum levels) “I think I just got possessed by fabulous.”
DEAN: “We’re gonna regret this.”
SAM: “We already do.”
Lucifer bows again and disappears in a flourish of fire and sparkles.
* * * * *
EPILOGUE:
Charlie is later seen in her room, already drafting a sigil onto her tablet, smiling like she won the nerd lottery.
CHARLIE (typing): “Dear Diary: Today I met the Lucifer. No, not the angsty one. The jazzy one. He smells like smoke and sin. 10/10 would summon again.”
TO BE CONTINUED....
END PART 2
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