Episode 1: “Portal Problems and Pine Needles”

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COLD OPEN

[INT. RICK’S GARAGE – NIGHT]
Rick tinkers with the glowing “mana siphonator.” Morty looks worried.

MORTY: Uhh, Rick, why does that thing look like it’s gonna explode?
RICK: Morty, relax. It’s not gonna explode—it’s gonna redirect magical leyline energy into my flask.
MORTY: Y-you mean, like… stealing magic from another world?
RICK: (smirks) Bingo, Morty. Free booze, powered by fairy dust and dead witches.

The device surges, glowing purple. A rift opens.

MORTY: (screaming) Ohhh jeez!
RICK: (grinning) Science, bitch!

Both get sucked into the rift.

[TITLE CARD – THEME SONG MASHUP]

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ACT ONE – WELCOME TO GRAVITY FALLS

[EXT. GRAVITY FALLS WOODS – NIGHT]
Rick and Morty crash into the forest. Immediately after, Eda tumbles through, flask in hand.

EDA: Well, this isn’t the Boiling Isles. Too many pine trees. And not enough bartenders.

FORD (emerging from the trees, notebook ready): Fascinating… a dimensional anomaly! You’re radiating raw magic! Who are you?
EDA: Eda the Owl Lady. And you are?
FORD: Stanford Pines. Paranormal researcher.
EDA: (sighs, takes a swig) Great. Another nerd.

Rick appears behind her, brushing off dirt.

RICK: (snorts) Speak for yourself, bird-woman. This guy? (points at Ford) He’s me but with six fingers. Instant best friends.

They shake hands, immediately swapping theories about portals.

MORTY: (to Eda) Ohhh jeez, they’re like… bonding. That’s bad, right?
EDA: (grim) Kid, that’s very bad.

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ACT TWO – THE MAGIC LEAK

[INT. MYSTERY SHACK – LIVING ROOM]
Dipper studies levitating Waddles. Mabel knits a “safety sweater.” King proclaims himself ruler of the rift. Hooty smashes through a window, yelling “Hoot Hoot!” Stan screams in the background.

Cut to woods:
Ford and Rick build a containment device.

EDA: And what happens if this blows up?
RICK & FORD (together, excited): Big boom.
MORTY & EDA (together, horrified): BAD.

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ACT THREE – CHAOS ERUPTS

The containment device malfunctions. The rift belches out a horrifying monster: part bat, part elk, covered in glowing glyphs.

MORTY: (screaming) WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE ANTLERS?!
EDA: (transforming into Owl Beast) Hold my beer.

Big battle:

Eda claws the monster.

Rick fires lasers.

Ford swings an artifact.

Morty hides.

Cutaway: Mabel blasts it with glitter, Dipper takes frantic notes, King rides Hooty like a lance.

RICK: (yelling at Ford) Why do the kids keep making everything worse?!
FORD: (yelling back) That’s just Gravity Falls!

They force the monster back into the rift. The rift collapses in a fiery magical blast.

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ACT FOUR – AFTERMATH

[EXT. CLEARING – DAWN]
Everyone lies in the ashes. Clothes charred, hair singed.

MORTY: (groaning) My eyebrows…
EDA: (sips from flask) Called it. Total disaster.
RICK: (laughing, coughing) Worth it.
FORD: (beaming) Absolutely worth it!

EDA (to Morty): If those two ever team up again, we kill them first.
MORTY: (weakly) Y-yeah, agreed.

Suddenly—

[STAN BURSTS THROUGH WITH A SUITCASE OF MONEY.]
STAN: MONEY!!!
He sprints past, laughing maniacally.

Everyone stares.

MORTY: …What the hell was that?
EDA: Smartest guy here.

[ROLL CREDITS.]

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POST-CREDITS SCENE

Waddles floats higher into the Shack ceiling while Mabel sings “Piggy in the Sky.” Hooty tries to help, gets stuck. King declares himself ruler of the ceiling.

CUT TO BLACK.