I hear it everyday... "You have such a wonderful smile!" "I love your bright personality!" "You always make my day!" Those phrases... Hearing people telling me what I put on. A mask. A mask to hide my emotions only letting joy and happiness show through. During the day it's all smiles and jokes and laughter. But when night falls... I can't hold it anymore... I lay in bed starring at the ceiling in silence... I feel a creeping shiver go up my spine.. Knowing they're here... They surround me whispering horrid things into my ears... My heart race picks up as my eyes close... My mouth opens to says something but nothing comes out.. Next thing I know I'm crying... Clutching my chest... Gripping the pillow... Holding my knees to my chest crying silently making sure nobody hears... Everyone is asleep... I try to call my friends but none answer... I leave a message and the next day they don't say anything... I put on a smile for others... Not because I'm happy.. Because I can't stand to see other breakdown...