Why do I let my own mind tear me up?.. To the point I want to feel the cold blade on my wrists, but can't cause of work.. I feel as if my already shattered heart has broken more and more. I'm so scared of people walking out of my life, but then i come to realize it was my own fault.. When my family walked out on me it was because I was different from them, I knew they never liked me.. When my dad walked out it was because I wasn't his little girl anymore and I was growing up, but not into what he wanted me to be.. And now I'm scared I'll lose someone I'm in love with because of my stupid actions.. God why am I like this- God why did you ever put me here!? To watch me suffer?! To watch me be torn away piece by piece until I eventually cut the string?!.... Why..