Genre: Fantasy

Summary: "Don't ask questions. I wouldn't expect you to anyway. But still, keep your mouth shut, I don't want to hear a word from you. I'll talk, you'll listen. It's because I rarely get to talk. Well that's a lie, I get to talk. But with her, she wants me to listen. Because the world never stops to listen to one person, and now it can. Not the world, but me. The Master of the Void. Has she told you about it? I think she has, at least bits of it. She never knows what she's doing, she just let's words spill from her mouth, and only after she releases it does she wonder if what she said was past the limit. The limit? The limit the Creator set for her. Not specifically for her, but for both of them. It's special to them. But the void is hers. And the universe is theirs, and you know too much. You know more than most people have ever been privileged to know. Is it a privilege, though? You'll tell me. No, don't. Mouth shut. The Void! Right. The universes....how do I begin to explain? I've never had to explain, you see. I've only had to understand." Who is he?

+ Cover

It isn't bad but can be clearly seen that it is put together in a hurry. To be honest, the cover gave me more of a sci-fi feel which this story clearly isn't.

So maybe you can change it?

Rating: 6/10

+ Title

I like it. Simple yet it describes the book. No complaints there.

Rating: 8/10

+ Summary

It's confusing. Honestly very, very confusing. I read half and then skipped to the end before reading the story. The first half is fine but it is when you mention the void, master of the universe, creator does it get confusing.

A bit shorter paragraph would attract the readers and be easier to understand.

I am guessing you want to make it sound more poetic.

Rating: 6/10

+ Plot

Okay, this is pretty vague. I have an idea of what the plot is about but I am not sure of the people involved.

So it would be amazing if you could clear it up.

Keep the air of mystery but make the readers want to know more without getting confused.

Rating: 7/10

+ Characters

First is the Bird Man. Is he the Master of the Void? Or is the fairy's boyfriend the Master of the Void?

I am so confused about who is who.

But the characters themselves are very interesting. I love the interactions between them.

Make it a bit more clear on who is who.

Rating: 7/10

+ Chapters

Length: I like it short!

Grammar, sentence structures: Nothing much of a problem.

General:

The first chapter was beyond confusing. I couldn't understand what was happening. Goddess, Fairy?

Main thing is the confusion between various characters. Maybe they are all the same but who is who? Is Bird Man Master of Void or is he is the creator?

The girl (Fairy? Goddess?) Is the one who imagined them so in short he is kind of a figment of her imagination. That much is clear.

But who is the other girl they are talking about? When she says 'I Love You'? Maybe there's a deeper story behind that too.

The thing I loved the most is in the second chapter, the monologue you have written. It reminds me of an anime I recently saw where there's a princess and her knight (she dies)

I am guessing the Knight is her 'boyfriend' and the one who is talking is Bird Man?

See, here's the thing. Most of it are all guesses. I can't say for sure that yes, this is what is happening. That, for me at least, removes the charm from the story.

But I really, really love the way you write. You just need to make it a bit more clear. Your words are poetic and amazing to read.

+ Conclusion

Clean it up a bit and this story is amazing. I like the use of words and it is truly a nice read.

+ Overall Rating

7/10