Ancilla is down for Best First Chapter ("The Magus"), Excavations for Best First Line, Morsels for Eye-Catching Cover. 

UPDATES (1/3/25)

Morsels came in second for the cover, Excavations won Best First Line, and Ancilla...

Let's unpack this.

Some SPAG corrections for my judge:

*In the Grammar and Vocabulary section, use paragraphs (not "pharaphs").

*In the Grammar and Vocabulary section, you wrote During the first pharaphs of the character's thoughts, which could have possible run-on sentences. (sic) This is a clause, not a sentence. A sentence requires a subject and a predicate. There is a subject in here, somewhere, but no predicate. You need to add another verb somewhere to conclude your thought and make this clause into a sentence. The verb you choose for your predicate will make it clear which noun is the subject of the sentence.

*In the Grammar and Vocabulary section, use her (not "Her").

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*In the Hook section, I suggest rephrasing to Their first conversation is a little awkward or Their conversation is a little awkward at first (in lieu of "At first glance, their conversation at beginning once a little awkward." "Once" is not a predicate. It is a modifier).

Also, what you describe later in this section as a "hook" is not a hook. It's a chapter summary. 

Per Wikipedia, 

"A narrative hook (or just hook) is a literary technique in the opening of a story that "hooks" the reader's attention so that they will keep on reading. The "opening" may consist of several paragraphs for a short story, or several pages for a novel, and may even be the opening sentence."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narrative_hook

*In the Hook section, because of how quiet the man is needs a comma after the word "man" if you are keeping the structure of this sentence as it is.

*In the Hook section, but at the end of the chapter it changes at the end of the chapter is redundant. It would also benefit from being split into two sentences. You need a break here. 

*In the Hook section, consider rephrasing to is a twist the the reader probably would not have seen coming or is something predictable that the reader would have seen coming (in liue of "twists are not things readers see coming").

Try this overall rewrite for the Hook section:

"The hook of this chapter is how their friendship/relationship develops. Their conversation is a little awkward at first because of how quiet the man is, but at the end of the chapter it changes. There is a twist the reader might not have seen coming."

See the difference? 

Please note that my revision does not solve the problem of your misunderstanding of what a literary "hook" is. I only cleaned up your sentence structure.

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*In the Overall Layout section, I suggest using a term other than "layout." Layout is used to describe visual elements. You describe my layout as being "written well," which is technically impossible. I think the term you are looking for is "plot."

*In the Overall Layout section, The length of the chapter is a bit lengthy for reading online, although it's not a big issue just takes a longer time to read is a run-on sentence, or it would be if the second clause in the sentence had a subject. 

I suggest adding a subject to the second clause to make it a sentence and then separating the sentences. Here is my correction:

"The length of the chapter is a bit lengthy for reading online, although it's not a big issue. It just takes a longer time to read, which could make some readers not finish." 

(You'll notice that I also added your missing comma).

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*In Feedback and Suggestions for Improvements,  use grammar (rather than "Grammer"). 

*In Feedback and Suggestions for Improvements, use characters' (for character's). You need to account for the fact that you are modifying a plural noun. This is something Grammarly always gets tripped up on. You might want to consider using an online reference tool rather than, or in addition to, an AI assist. 

The writing lab of Hamilton College has a good one. Here is their page on how to avoid apostrophe errors in possessive nouns:

https://www.hamilton.edu/academics/centers/writing/seven-sins-of-writing/4#

Grammar textbooks are also available if you look for them. Amazon has them at a discount.

Another good resource that I highly recommend is Strunk and White's Elements of Style. While not a grammar textbook per se, it is useful here. 

*In Feedback and Suggestions for Improvements, you say there are potential run-on sentences. Either one has grammatical errors and run-on sentences or one does not.

You're welcome.