A/N

k, I kno u wnt to strt da chapter but let meh say somthin. today, i had eggs, bakon, tost, mor tost, pan kakes, bakon, bakon, and bakon for brakfast! den i--

*insert long ass paragraph*

nd dats al~! Enjoy mah story my litle burgers~!

Me: 'My little burgers'... What the fuck?

hy! i wan to hve a nam fr mah readrs!

Me: Kill me now.

Chapter

BEP

BEP

BEP

that's mah alram. i turn it of. god i h8 mornins. (oh, ikr gurl? Anyone else fel meh?)

Me: *Slowly dying* No one wants that random ass opinion, and that beginning is so overused!

ppl don wnt urs ither

"kaitlin! ur gona be late or skol! an id u do ur homewrk?!" my foter mom calld. GOD! she i SO abusve!

"coming!" groans. gets up. puts on a neon plaid outfit. goes downstairs.

Me: Wtf was that?

im laz ok?

in the mirror i see a gross-ass tal girl ith luscious ong brwn air and beutiful icy lue orbs. tat trash s meh.

Me: Oh god, tamed hair in the morning? Icy blue eyes? AND SHES TRASH?!

let me explain; i'm katlin smith. i hve da bst grades, i'm shy, always bullied, never cried in my life, and have a HUGE crush on the bad boy in school, Jacob❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

he's also a bilionair, yungist CEO evar, a playboi, moist popular guy in skol, and leder of da fotbal team.

i strt headin downstiars, sittin dow at da tabl as my foster mom givs meh a plat of egs and bakon, da bakon was crispy and coked to perfecshon; nothin seemed odd with it. when I ate it it tastd lik... som typ of pig... it ws realy piggish... hmm...

Me: ... Did you just try to sound deep...?

nu! sht up!

i then caw da egs an startd cryin "i wanted THREE egs!" i shout, pointin ta da two egs on mah plat.

Me: Wha... What... What happened to she never cries?

mah mom sighd. "There arent anymor egs, sory, swetie..." "I CANT BELEIVE DIS! I'M GON STARVE AND DI NOW BECUASE OF U!"

"fin, u can have my eg," se said, putin her onl eg onto mah plat.

i at da rest of da bakon and to egs, to ful ta eat da las one an wen ta da bafrom.

i went in, putin on heavy amonts of eyelinr, glitery eyeshadow, and red lipstick, ya no, the natural makup an wen to skol.

Me: *Gags* Bitch, wut?

mah bes friend thn caught up to meh "like, oh mah gawd, you wo't BELEIVE what makkenzie did!" she said.

"wha did she do this time?" i askd "she askd out jacob, and you wont beleive wha he did!" "wha?" "HE SAD NU!!!" she excliamd, mimikin hr mind blowin up.

"wait, wha?!" just then, jacob rod to us on his moterbik "hey," he said al seductivly, makin meh an my fren -- mary -- swon.

jacob

i culdnt beleive it, it ws da gurl fro mah science clas.

i meen, wed ben in da sam clas fer yars but, al of a suden i noticd somthin abot hr.

Me: What. The. Fuck.

let me explain, im jacob. my parents r a vampir and werwolf; killed riht aftr havin meh. im so deprezed and lonely i cri al da tim.

i smik at deir swonin. "car fer a rid, sweatcheks?"

kaitlin

"nu, im fine. and DON'T CALL ME THAT!" i complain, smilin ta myslf.

jacob

i smirk an pik hr up, putin hr on da bak. "mine," i wisper as i new shed be mah mat.

~

dats it! bye mah little burgers~!

Me: Bleach and back buttons, a penny each!