*Another fangirl has finished the fault in our stars*

Fangirl: *sobbing all day*

*The next day*

*Friend comes over and enters Fangirl's room. The fangirl is rereading TFIOS, crying and remembering*

Friend: What are you doing?

Fangirl: having non-fictional feelings about fictional characters.

Friend:...

Fangirl: rereading The Fault In Our Stars.

"Friend": OH! I saw that movie! Wasn't it awesome when Augustus DIED?

Fangirl: *slams book shut, starts hyperventilating, and scoots over toward the wall, on the opposite side of the "friend."* WHAT KIND OF DISEASE DO YOU HAVE?

"Friend": *reaches for fangirl* what?

Fangirl: DON'T TOUCH ME, YOU AUGUSTUS HATING PEASANT! YOUR DISEASE COULD BE CONTAGIOUS!

"Friend": I don't-

Fangirl: I HAVENT BEEN VACINATED YET! OH MY GOD, GET OUT! *points at door*

"Friend": but-

Fangirl: I'M WARNING YOU!

"Friend":...*slowly exits*

Fangirl: shhhh, she's just a stupid mortal who doesn't understand. *curls up into a ball* it's okay it's okay...Shhhh