Me: *reading a book. A mortal is sitting in the same room*

Mortal: what are you reading?

Me: Heir of Fire. Its the third book in the Throne of Glass series! It's AMAZING!!!!!

Mortal: oh cool

Me: do you want to know what it's about?

Mortal: not really

Me: I'm gonna tell you anyway! *talks for a mere two hours on the Throne of glass series*

Mortal: um I have to go

Me: I'M NOT DONE!!!! THERE IS SO MUCH YOU NEED TO KNOW!!!!

Mortal: I don't even like reading!

Me: *horrified gasp* HOW COULD YOU????? *throws book at the mortal* DIE!!!!

Book: *falls on ground*

Me: OH MY GOD!!!! *Rushes to book and cradles it* Its okay, you're okay, you're safe now, it's okay, shhh...*murmurs more nurturing words to the book*

Mortal: *runs away*