Person: hey what's your favorite book?

Me: The Hunger Games, Divergent, Percy Jackson, The Maze Runner, Under the Never Sky, TFIOS, LOTR, The Selec-

Person: your favorite book

Me: I have a list *unfolds list that is thousands of yards long*

Person: no no no, your favorite ONE book

Me: one?

Person: one.

Me:....*starts to sweat nervously* uh uh I uh I can't omg I can't even why are you asking this of me????

Person: you can do it, you can pick one book.

Me: one?

Person: we've been over this. O. N. E.

Me: I can't choose between my children! I love them ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!! *Grabs books, holds them, and starts hyperventilating and sobbing* I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!

Person: um

Friend: *looks at person then back at me, then gives the person a knowing smirk* ah I see...I've made the mistake of asking this question...she was like this for a few weeks...

Person:....

Friend: I offered to pay for her therapy but....

Person: *takes a step toward me*

Me: *hisses* LEAVE US! NASTY HOBBITSES RUINING EVERYTHING! *Holds books closer* preciousssssssssss

Friend: hah, just wait til she starts calling your mortality a disease! Well, good luck *walks off*

Person: but- but- I...wait! I don't know what to do! *nudges me*

Me: AAAAHHHHHH IT BURNS!!!!! THE MORTAL TOUCH!!!!!! *makes inhuman noises* THE FACTIONLESS MORTAL DISEASE!!!!!!

Person: uh I'm gonna go...*runs away as fast as the person can go*