Me: *goes to store*

Clerk: hi, what do you need?

Me: hi, I need to buy some fictional characters

Clerk: I'm sorry?

Me: I need to buy some fictional characters - here *hands clerk a list*

Clerk: *unfolds the list* uh wow this is extremely long

Me: not really, there were about three hundred other names on that list, but I wanted to make sure you had these fictional characters first

Clerk: um...we don't sell-

Me: but on the sign in the front it says something along the lines of: we sell everything you need! I need fictional characters! Pronto!

Clerk: they're not real...

Me: what?

Clerk: I'm sorry

Me: why does everyone keep saying that? *laughs humorlessly* just because people are trying to tell themselves that they're not real, doesn't mean they aren't! They are!

Clerk: *backs away slowly*

Me: I'll try eBay! *leaves*

Am I the only one who has tried to buy fictional characters on Amazon and eBay and other stores? okay then...