raizlerose3

Rating: B+, pretty damn good.

This is the first satire and humor story I am reviewing on here! Now while I haven't read or done many satires and humor pieces, from what I could tell I still thought you did a fine job. You have a unique way of introducing the story with breaking the fourth wall and directly addressing the audience. You dance around a little bit with it, slowly introducing the story from a very broad view. This makes your story and first chapter very fairy tale-like, which in case you're hoping to go for that, good job. I also think your character introduction of your aunt and the unrealistic groom hunt also adds to this idea of a fairy tale world.

However, this does not really allow your readers to empathize or grow on your character of the aunt. She is selfish, ignorant, naive, and petty. While many fairy tales doesn't really care for its characters, and instead of following a character intimately, most fairy tales simply have an omniscient observer as narrator. This works for you, but in case you do want the aunt to grow on the readers she will need some character transformation.

And for your fourth wall and scrawl of introduction, it does go on for a little too long in my personal opinion. While it is a little goofy and sweet and does set a really calming and fun loving mood, parts of it seem a little too unrelated and stretched out, particularly the filler-sounding parts.

If you meant to give it the fairy tale-like mood, then good job. Because so much of this is uniform in its tone and structure there isn't much to criticize. I think it compliments the narrative well. I hope you keep writing and keep this story alive!