Name: Skyfall's Hope
Type: (Fanfiction (Contest Entry)) My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Author: M_Dreamcatcher
Status: Incomplete

Description: it's hard to keep going when you're a weak flyer and only two ponies believes you can do it.

But when Skyfall's mother is in a bad condition, she pushes herself past her limits.

#Mistifycontest

Review: After reading it, I must say that it's a sweet plot, cliche, but sweet. It's only two chapters, so I can't judge how cliche it is yet, and the story will (hopefully) develop more. I rarely saw any punctuation and grammatical errors, but one thing that I see most writers do (which, admittedly, I myself did) is, two people speaking in one paragraph. Sure, that's fine in some cases, but, usually we do, new speaker, new paragraph. It'll make the readers less confused. Lengthwise, it's pretty good.
I would suggest adding plot twists in the story, mystery, etc. Things like that, get readers more hyped, and pique the interest of readers. But, it's of course, your story and you decide the events.
Something else you could do, is describe the scenes and emotions better, don't be afraid to go a bit into detail. Like, 'The feelings of regret poured over her like a bucket full of churning guilt. She had finally realised what she had done...'
Or something like that :P.

Rating: 3.5 / 5