My mom asked me what would happen if I ever got kidnapped as a joke and I replied like this

Me: If I ever get kidnapped they better get me food on the way there or things are going down.

Mom: And if they don't

Me: Blow it up. I don't want not one of them to survive. If your going to kidnap me at least feed me before you kill me

Mom: Fatty

Me: I'm not fat it's just that my body can't eat less than five meals a day