The one that got away
Katy Perry

"Talk about our future like we had a clue
Never planned that one day I'd be losing you"

an: don't forget to vote,
please⭐

"I'm not ready to settle down at this age! We are too young to marry, have kids and live in a big house of our own."

It's been almost three months since my girlfriend, Jennie, broke up with me. She wanted to discover new things with new people, I didn't have a use in what she had planned for her future. That fucking hit me, it was something I didn't see coming. Jennie made me never suspect that she didn't want a future with me.

She was my first love and first relationship. I met her in my senior year of high school, Jennie was the same year as me but in another class. You can say that she was everybody's first crush, she was gorgeous and different from the other girls her age. We were one of these couples at school everybody would know from the teen's movies and be envious of us. I was eighteen and she was seventeen years old when we started to date.

Our parents knew each other, my name well moreover our family name, is not strange to the Korean citizen in Manhattan and Korea itself. It was never a problem that I dated Kim Jennie. Even society thought we'd marry one day. Jennie and I were a brand, we did everything together. All seemed perfect and I could've never been happier at that time.

But it changed when she started college. I didn't get to see her very often even though she went to NYU. That's half an hour from Manhattan if the traffic wasn't bad but she was too busy and so was I with work. I started working in a big construction company that ruled half of Manhattan buildings and expanded wider and wider.

I didn't see the signs that we were walking further apart from each other. Jennie started to have different friends, we used to have the same community around us and our interests grew a huge gap between the other one's liking. We fought a lot whenever we would see each other. There was no time we didn't fight but eventually reconciled it on the same day. We made sure to solve our arguments before going to bed, it was important to me.

She was important!

"Baby, what's wrong with you? Are you not in the mood today? I thought you needed distraction." A breathy whisper is panting against my ear when I realize I'm thinking about my ex again in the middle of making out with a woman to kill the feeling inside of me that is missing Jennie so much that it hurts to the bones.

"I'm sorry, I can't tonight. My mind is somewhere else but here." I confess to this woman whom I met a few days ago. Tonight was our first date and it should've been a night where I could let all my pain go for a moment. That's what I've been doing lately. After my love left me. Sleeping with women lets me forget the missing piece inside my heart, even if it is just for a few hours. All of the women I've met were all open and there aren't any boundaries or responsibilities, it's just sex.

I'm tired of thinking about her all the time and what we could've been. It's hard to let go of something I wanted that badly. Six years, we spent a long time together and I was so used to having Jennie by my side that even breathing alone is hurting. Every step I'd take is another step from going farther away from my dream. My brain accepted the loss already but my heart is still craving and desiring this woman.

"Should I drive you to your car? We left it at the restaurant earlier." My date asks me while covering herself in a silk robe.

"Thank you, Liz, but I think I'll take the tram. The restaurant is near the station as far as I remember." With that said I exit her apartment into a cold winter night. It makes it easier to not get involved with someone emotionally. This gives me the permission to leave whenever I want.

Anyways, I'm not ready for a relationship yet.

All I wanted was to settle down with Jennie, make her my wife, and have kids of our own as soon as possible but she shattered all my plans. The hard work to achieve my dreams didn't work out, well not for everything. I wanted Kim Jennie, she was one of my biggest dreams. The emptiness inside of me won't be filled that easily. I'm in a place where no one will reach me. Maybe it's better to stay alone.

Is there anyone out there who wants me? Who can love me unconditionally the way I love someone? Will I ever fall in love again? My heart is aching so much I don't think that it will heal anytime soon.

The tram ride makes me think too much, there is no music which could distract me, only the other passengers being noisy. I can't stand the chatting between all these humans, I put my hood on covering my head to muffle the sound, that's when a sniffing sound appears right in front of me, a woman takes a seat next to the window facing my direction.

She has something fascinating but I can't tell what captures my attention first. Is it her appearance covered in the black thick jacket? Her long ebony silk hair? No, it's her sad eyes that capture me in her spell. I see the same pain and hardship in her eyes as in mine whenever I look at the mirror.

How can she be so beautiful without a filter? Who hurts her so much that she is mirroring her broken soul in her stunning eyes? If I could, I would just take her in my arms and let her cry and shout aloud all of the suffering and hurt she went through. She wakes the protector in me. This isn't normal since my love left me. Sure, I'm always the one to protect my loved ones. But she is a stranger.

Her gaze is glued to the window looking outside. I take the time to study her side profile. She really is gorgeous and she must be freezing, her hands squeeze her phone in-between, and her cheeks are red from the winter chilliness. I can tell that she's Asian but not Korean, she probably is from one of the pacific ocean countries.

The urge inside of me to see her face is growing bigger, trying to get a glimpse of her. I don't understand the power of this woman. Why am I that interested in her? I watch her reflection on the window but her eyes meet mine. She was watching me and a strange feeling in my chest just awoke. My station sounds in the tram telling me that I need to exit at this halt to get to my car. For a second I consider staying seated but I won't have the courage to talk to her.

I jump up to leave but before I exit I take a last peek at the mysterious sad woman, and I'm surprised, her eyes are still on me. My heart is beating faster feeling the excitement about the fact that she followed me with her dark chocolate globes.

When the door behind me closed I pray silently to God to meet her again. If destiny wants us together we will meet, for sure!

an: don't forget to vote,
please⭐

See you December 26th💋
Add this to your library if you want to be informed when I'll uploade the first chapter.

You can thank Moycheko for being so mysterious. She had the fabulous idea to let you suffer and hide Mr. Mystic tram/club man. 😏

Hope you enjoyed this little tease.💋