Give me your forever
Zack Tabudlo

"I want you to know
I love you the most
I'll always be there right by your side
'Cause baby, you're always in my mind."

A new chapter has begun and I'm very excited about the new things that await Crystal and me. It's been only a week since we found out that she's pregnant. Honestly, I was as shocked as her when we saw the two blue lines, meaning the test was positive and she's carrying my baby under her heart.

This still feels surreal. I will be a father in around nine months. Crystal called her gynecologist for an appointment to confirm the pregnancy. And today is the day we get our answer. My girlfriend is right beside me as I drive to our destination. She looks pale and she didn't eat the past few days, saying everything would taste bad. Even though I bought all her favorites, she didn't like the smell of it anymore.

When we arrive at the parking lot she takes a deep breath before exiting the car. I can't imagine how nervous she must feel because my heart is running a marathon. She snuggles to my side and I wrap my arm around her shoulders as we walk to the entrance of the doctor's office.

The Office is decorated with abstract art on the walls. Everything is sterile and cold. We're waiting for the gynecologist to enter the room and these few minutes feel like hours. Crystal's silence is something she always does whenever she gets nervous. Actually, she's always quiet in unfamiliar situations. My girlfriend observes rather than jumping right into it. I, on the other hand, am very open and like to communicate to find out about others.

Her hands are intertwined together but I take her cold fingers into mine. I kiss softly the back of her hand. She immediately relaxes her tense muscles and even gives me a cute little smile. "Everything will be okay, don't worry too much."

The woman I love nods in response and whispers, "I'm just nervous."

I don't know what it is but she looks so beautiful today even without makeup. Just when I lean forward to kiss her perfect lips, the door opens, and the gynecologist walks into the room. A woman in her mid-fifty takes her seat behind the table with a genuine smile on her face. "Good morning, I'm Dr. Lopez, you are, Mrs. Miller?" The doctor asks.

"Ah no, we're not married, it's Miss Miller." Crystal corrects the doctor as I hide a smile behind my hand. Of course, she would think we're married. Society automatically puts a pregnant woman as married when she appears with a man in the doctor's office but nowadays it's not like that anymore. But Mrs. Crystal Kim sounds deliciously amazing.

"So, you're here because of a positive pregnancy test, right?" Dr. Lopez asks and we both nod in agreement. "These stripes are mostly correct so you're here to confirm the pregnancy, right?" and again we just nod to her question. "Okay, please go to the room behind the curtains and take your jeans off. In this early stage, we still have to use the vaginal ultrasound."

Everything the doctor just said is like a huge question mark but Crystal seems to understand her words as she disappears behind the curtains. The doctor leads me to another room where my girlfriend is already waiting. "Sir, you can sit here if you want_"

"Dr. Lopez, is it okay if he sits beside me?" The woman I love interrupts the physician as she shows us the chair next to her head. Is she shy? I mean I saw everything, even tasted that actual part.

"Of course, please take your seat next to her, Sir." Dr. Lopez chuckles softly as she types something on the device screen. Crystal climbs the examination chair and opens her legs widely while placing each one on a spreader. Now I get why she didn't want me next to the doctor. Damn, I would have a good view though. The woman I love closes her eyes when the physician starts her examination. "So, let me see...oh."

My girlfriend looks at the screen while I watch the doctor. Crystal squeezes my hand so hard that my fingers are white. "Do you see this little black dot here?" The older woman asks while circling with a laser pointer at the screen. I nod at her and she smiles as she's looking at me. "I assume you are the father-to-be?" The woman again gets only a nod from me. Father-to-be oh my god this sounds weird.

"Yes, here it is, congratulations you're pregnant." The words play on repeat in my head while looking at the big screen. There's a dark dot that the doctor calls an embryo. I think I stopped breathing since she informed us that we were going to be parents. "As for the calculation, you're in the seventh week of pregnancy."

"Seven weeks?" Crystal's voice is thin and very silent. Her eyes are teary and focused on the big screen with the black-and-white picture of our baby.

"Do you want to hear the heartbeat?" Dr. Lopez asks as she looks at Crystal before her gaze goes to me.

"Is that possible?" I question.

A moment of silence fills the room until a little dudum dudumm dudum, sounds out and tears escape Crystal's eyes. Her sobs reach my soul and I'm so paralyzed by the beauty of this woman and this magical moment. Listening to the first heartbeat of my baby will be forever carved in my heart. I never thought this would touch me this deeply but it's better than I've ever imagined.

Dr. Lopez informs us about the next steps. Crystal has to take vitamins and the physician urged her to listen to her body. She also mentioned that this state is still early and a miscarriage could be possible. Most miscarriages happen in the first twelve weeks. But she also told us to live on and don't stress too much. We are even allowed to fly as we're planning to see my parents in Seoul. Crystal is healthy.

After the appointment, we went to the pharmacy to get all the stuff the gynecologist told us. Especially for the long flight, Crystal has to wear compression stockings. As for her nausea in the morning, we bought ginger candy, hoping it will help. We couldn't talk but just because we were so overwhelmed with all this new information.

She's the one who will change in the next nine months. As for me, there will be no big changes till the baby is born. Surely I will support her as best as I can. I will take care of them. "Love, are you hungry?" I ask her since we're done shopping.

"Kind of, but I don't know what to eat or what I'm craving." The gorgeous woman scrunches her nose with a little pout on her lips. Just when I want to take her in my arms because of her cuteness overload, my phone rings. On the screen is my sister's name.

"Yo big sis, what's up?" Crystal is watching me as I snuggle my arm around her waist to pull her closer to my body. Since I'm on the phone with Taeyeon she stays quiet but hugs me back. "Yeah, I'm with Crissy, wait a second." The woman's eyes are observing me. I always loved this gaze because it makes her mysterious and a little bit dangerous.

"Taeyeon is asking us to come over to her place, do you mind?" Crystal immediately has a smile on her face and nods her head in excitement. "Ok, sis we're coming. Do you need anything?" As I talk to my sister on the phone, Crystal leads me to another store that looks like a baby shop. I just tag along with her since she looks so happy choosing clothes and supplements.

I end the call and curiously watch her pick some green-colored onesies and some cute accessories for a baby boy.
"How do you know it's a boy?" I ask while back hugging her small figure.

Crystal giggles while leaning into my embrace. "Dummy, this is for your sister's baby, and this beanie and the toys are for the new big brother."

She's so thoughtful which I love so much on her. "Ah for Ujin. Why don't you buy one for our baby?" My hands glide down to her belly and caress it softly. The warmth of her body is heating my cold hands. "We can buy something gender-neutral."

"That's bad luck, babe. Let's wait a couple of months before buying baby stuff, okay?" Never heard of that but if she believes in it, I will accept it. She gives me a little kiss on my cheeks before walking towards the cashier to pay for the gifts. Just as she was going to pay with her card, I already slide my credit card through the device. "Tae what_"

"Come on we're going to be late, my sister prepared lunch for us." I interrupt her whining, knowing she didn't like that I paid. But my money is hers and I want to take care of everything financially related. Crystal knows that. Whenever she wanted to pay she got a dark glare from me but she'd make an effort again and again. My sister's place is half an hour away from where we are but thankfully the traffic isn't bad.

My lovely woman tells me that she wants to keep this pregnancy secret till the end of the twelfth week. I agree with the idea since it's too early for an announcement. Her soft hand takes my hand and places a little kiss on the back. Chills are covering my body as soon as her lips collide with my skin. But her words grab me in a chokehold. "Tae, this is the last chance to run away. Listen, I understand if you get cold feet but leave now rather than later because I would want to depend on you, get comfortable, and get used to having you beside me."

I have to gulp the big lump in my throat. Crystal is serious about what she just said and I am shocked to hear this. "Love, please depend on me, get comfortable with me, and get used to having me because all I want is you. I know I fucked up many times but I will make it right this time. I may not always be perfect but I will be good to you and our baby."

The car stops and the first thing I do is kiss her sweet lips. She tastes salty from all the tears she shed in the doctor's office. This feels like I haven't kissed her in years. I missed the feeling of her love and passion. Her little whimpers inform me that we have to breathe. Our foreheads are glued together as we catch fresh air "I love you, Crystal, and I won't go anywhere unless you want me to!"

"I love you too."

~•~

My sister gave birth to her second son only three weeks ago. That's why she's staying mostly at home. I visited her a few times, especially that week when I didn't have contact with Crystal. My nephew, Ujin, made me forget to think too much about Crystal for a few hours before I went home and it hit me all over again. Well, there was Jimin who annoyed me and reminded me of what an asshole I was.

"Woe samchon!" Ujin yells when he sees me entering the living room where he was just playing. He's calling me uncle in Korean. Taeyeon is only speaking Korean to him as she wants him to remember where his roots came from. Even though she's open-minded and modern, she thinks it's a waste if they wouldn't learn the language she's been raised with.

The little boy jumps into my arms as I grab him tight and turn circles with him. His cute giggles are music to my ears. "Ya, Taehyungah don't overdo it, he just ate!" My sister warns me and I let the boy down but I make sure he's fine before I let him go. Ujin can't talk in full sentences yet, but it's hard to not squeeze him when he's talking in his baby language or one-word sentence.

I tell her about the plan of taking Crystal with me to Seoul. Taeyeon's eyes get bigger at the announcement and is clapping her hands together as she thinks it's a fabulous idea. "When are you planning to go? Let's go together, I will fly this weekend!" My sister is excited, her loud voice can't hide the fact.

"We haven't set a day yet."

"I'm free next week. So if you want we can join her." The woman I love says while eating the chicken wings my sister had prepared. Only watching her makes me miss her. I haven't had the chance to hold her properly this whole day. A smile appears on my face as I agree with the idea of flying this weekend. My sister makes a happy dance while tagging Crystal with her.

This woman can be very hyper with the right people. She's usually very reserved but when she likes someone she's crazy and shows her feelings openly. Ujin joins them by jumping around. He is even hugging my girlfriend's legs and she pulls him up to carry him on her side.

I don't know why this scene is making me so emotional but we could be like this in a few months. A little family. The thought of creating my own, little family, is something I always have dreamed of and it's coming true. My only worry is how my parents would react to my relationship. It's not common in my family to date a foreigner. It will be fine, right?

an: please don't forget to vote⭐

Will it be fine?
A little fluff ahead before we prepare the grand final. We still have about 15 chapters but a lot is going to happen. I may add a few chapters more if needed.
🐼🌸💋