To the man who let her go
Tyler Shaw

" Now she's beside me, Can't stop thinking, Why did you ever think to let go? Not complaining, I'm just saying.
Your loss is mine to hold.So to the man who let her go, I'm thanking you the most." 

Her laughter is music to my ears. It's cute that she thinks she could escape with her tiny legs. My little panda stomps through the snow and tries to run away from me. Crystal threw a snowball and hit my ears with its coolness, by luck. She's amazing at many things but throwing something isn't her specialty which makes her even more adorable to me.

I can't get enough of this woman and I feel like I've been knowing her my whole life yet I barely talked to her about six months ago. Around this time, a year ago, I saw her on the tram. Her eyes were puffy red and filled with sorrow but she was still pretty. Without a filter, barefaced and raw, like an open book. It scares me sometimes that I can read her without any words coming out from the woman. But there are also lines I can't understand. Paragraphs that I have no clue about and still have to figure out.

She's a mystery in many ways.

"Gotcha!" With a jump, I grab her waist and drag her with me into the snow. Her giggles sound muffled as I'm trying to stuff her face with the soft coldness. Arms and legs complaining but she can't get a hold of me. The thick outdoor clothes make it difficult for her to move quickly.

"Tae, I'm sorry," she says in between her chuckles, "I surrender!" Like a snowball, she curls her body together to protect her face. I stop just to watch my sweetest obsession laying beside me in a fetal position. White fog is created from our warm breaths and when Crystal finally realizes I stopped, she relaxes to a more comfortable position. The tip of her nose is red due to the chilliness. Eyes beaming at the blue sky with a smile on her beautiful lips.

If I had a camera with me I'd capture this moment. My mobile phone should be enough to catch a good memory. After she notices the clicking sound on my phone, her head turns to me, and I click again. I capture her natural beauty, the reddened nose, her pouty little mouth, the few freckles on her cheekbones, and her soft and gentle dark eyes. Crystal is the most beautiful woman to me.

"Hey, that's unfair. I don't have pictures of you!" My girlfriend scoots closer to look at the pictures. Of course, I show her. As she watches them with eagle's eyes, she scrunches her nose.

"What? These are adorable." I frown at her reaction. "This is you, pretty and so cute."

"As long as I'm all that in your eyes." She shifts closer to me and pecks my lips. "I don't need anything else." My heart is fluttering while my arms take the little woman in a tight hug. The sweet fragrance of vanilla beguiles my senses and I get memories of last night. Even though we were bathing, her scent stuck with her. Crystal uses a vanilla-scented body lotion. Whenever I smell vanilla, it reminds me of my girlfriend.

"Let's take a few pictures with us." The high pitch note of her voice let me hear her excitement. I like her idea and we take a couple of sweet pictures which I immediately save as my lock screen and so does she. My panda looks at the photos, I can see how shiny her eyes get as she watches the pics of us. "These are our first pictures as boyfriend and girlfriend, Tae."

"We will take a lot from now on." We stand up from the coolness and start to walk in the direction of the little house. Crystal has a unique way to hold my hands. She obeys me first by intertwining our fingers but after a minute she loosens up the grip only to grab my ring finger and my pinky finger. My girlfriend holds my fingers not my hand and the only thing I can do is hover my palms over her tiny fist. Never had someone held my hand this cute. Not a woman but a child. Taeyeon's daughter, my niece Hannah, is three years old, she holds me the way Crystal does. 

So funny yet so lovely.

When we arrive at the house I hush and put another piece of wood into the fireplace to heat the room. We get rid of our wet clothes and put on something comfy. I've planned this trip for my love because I know she is going through some hard times with her parents. Especially with her mom and her mother's boyfriend. We didn't talk about it and I don't want to ask her as well. She will tell me if she thinks it's important but this topic is also very intimate. It's her family after all.

I didn't forget to order food when I organized this trip. While Crystal is still changing her clothes, I put the meal boxes in the oven. The timer is set for forty minutes. Setting a timer is a must. How many times did I burn my pizza? Or the situation when Hobi and I forgot we had something on the stoves. Everything burned and dark fog filled up his one-bed apartment. We almost had to call the firefighters.

"Wow, it's getting hot in here." The sound of her voice takes my attention as my girlfriend walks down the stairs. She doesn't know how her duality affects me. No one would think she'd do the things that we did because she looks too cute and innocent, which she is but she's the opposite in bed. There's a saying silent waters are deep and it fits perfectly for Crystal.

The woman aims to sit on my lap and kisses me sweetly. I could drown in her soft lips. It's as if her body is made for me and my soul is made for her. No other woman understood me the way she does. She's very patient with me, her tolerance scale is high, and I need someone who can bear with me. Someone who can calm me down rather than put more gasoline into the already burning flames.

And this gorgeous woman who's sitting on my lap is my special one. I just feel it.

"Love, listen, don't think I'm weird because of the question I'm going to ask." Anyhow the situation, our eyes find their way to connect immediately.

"Hmm, sorry Tae, I already think you're weird. I mean look around. We're in the middle of nowhere and you act all sweet, sexy, and hot. I would have let you do me anyway. No need to kidnap me in some forest." I couldn't hold myself and burst out laughing at her statement. Her smile is pure mischief and I love this side of her; the not-so-serious type of humor. "But you're the good, weird one!"

Our laughter echoes through the room as we make fun of many other things that come across our minds. We're holding our stomachs from the pain but that doesn't stop us from talking nonsense and weird stuff. As I catch my breath I look at my girlfriend closely while she's talking about her sister who licked frozen gages and her tongue stuck on it. I study her shiny dark eyes that crinkle on the edge when she's smiling. Her perky little nose scrunches at things she doesn't like or agree to. The dimple on her left cheek appears whenever she squeezes her freckled cheeks. She's perfect.

"Let's move together!" I said my wish aloud. It's suddenly quiet. Crystal is confused and looks at me with a question mark. But this is what I want. I don't want to miss her because I didn't see her for a day or go to bed without having her in my arms. When I wake up in the morning, she's the first thing I wanna see and the last before I close my eyes. "I know this might_"

"Let's move together." The sudden interruption caught me off guard and I have to repeat her sentence in my head.

"What did you say?" I need clarification.

"I'd love to live with you, Taehyung!" My girlfriend will give me a heart attack someday if she'll continue to be this perfect.

Why in the hell did I get myself into this? We were on the way home but Crystal got a call from her workplace. Her boss had to discuss something with her regarding the next few days. Crystal said he has to go somewhere urgently because of a new fashion show. As if I had a clue, I nodded, pretending I'd understand what she said. I'm clueless. Fashion and all that stuff are not on my topics when it comes to clothes. I basically wear anything comfy but not too fancy.

Twenty minutes. It's been twenty minutes since my girlfriend disappeared with that guy, Seokjin, into his office. Why take it so long to talk about an agenda? I dance from one foot to another. Nervous and anxious about this situation and when I hear her giggle, my jealousy is scratching on my nerves to break out. Molding my hands into fists, my jaw tenses every passing second. I'm ready to stomp into the room and knock the handsome man out.

But I inhale deeply. Trying to calm down. Taehyung, you can't make a scene at your girlfriend's workplace. I chant to myself. Crystal would be disappointed in me, if I'd burst out, even though I don't know what has been going on in there. Still pissed at the fact she's not coming out yet, but I calm down a little bit.

The door opens suddenly, revealing my other half with a cute grin on her face. Her eyes are big when she bumps into my chest but I catch her by the waist and pull her eventually closer. "Tae, were you waiting in front of the door?" She looks up at me with the most sweetest pout on her little lips and I hum yeah as a response. "You could've waited outside, there is a very comfy couch."

I feel a pair of eyes on me. Her boss is standing by the doorframe, waiting for Crystal to step out. Seokjin and I had met before. He was the one who brought my girlfriend home after he rescued her from Jungkook's harassment. Our conversation is still fresh and it had left a bitter taste since then. I can't shake off the feeling that this guy has his eyes on my woman, yet he's very respectful around her. Crystal is free and relaxed as well which I should be ok with but this whole situation with my girlfriend working with this man, daily, is still a thorn in my way.

"Bambi, do you have any questions?" Seokjin has a smooth and soft voice. This is so annoying. Why is he so perfect? Not only is he just tall and very handsome, but also a successful gentleman. A prince out of the book. The woman I love turns around to face him and his gaze immediately softens as he locks eyes with her.

So annoying.

"Thanks, Jin, you explained it clearly, even an idiot would understand." Although her tone is the same as always, it annoys me that she's talking so casually to him. They don't use honorifics for each other. And the way he's looking at her angers me to the point that I want to go in between them just to disturb their moment. I probably read more into this but this uneasy tingling is too real.

"Call me whenever you need something, my phone is always with me!" Seokjin says as his fiery gaze meets mine before he looks at Crystal again with a lot softer eyes. He hates me.

I'm ok with that. I don't need to be friends with him. My girlfriend nods gently to his comment while I grab her waist to pull her to my side. Visualizing the hunter in front of me who she belongs to. Crystal belongs with me. The deadly glare Seokjin sends me makes me feel proud and victorious. A shy bye leaves my woman's mouth before we walk arm-in-arm out of his sight.

This is really getting on my nerves but I can't tell her that I'm jealous of her boss. I bet Crystal doesn't even notice how he looks at her. Those eyes told me more than I wanted but I already smelled the shit when I first met him. We never interacted but whenever I picked my panda to take her home or for a lunch break, I felt his burning eyes on me.

As we walk into the Korean restaurant that I saw earlier, my girlfriend's grip on my fingers tightens. I walk directly to the counter to order but she squeezes my fingers so hard that I check on her. Crystal's look is panicked and uneasy.

"Tae, let's go to another restaurant!" Her voice is quiet, only for me to hear.

"Love, why that? The food here is excellent." I don't know why but I mimic her volume. She really looks stressed. Her eyes wander from me to the counter repeatedly.

"My ex is working here." As soon as she ended her sentence a male voice welcomed us. My eyes are on the man that broke my woman's heart. And I am thankful for that, cause if he didn't do the things he has done, she wouldn't be mine. He's not looking yet so I take the chance to whisper in my girl's ear.

"Go choose a table, I will handle this." 

She looks confused at me but nods obediently. That's when I feel her ex's eyes on us. I grab her face and kiss her deeply, inhaling her intoxicating scent before we disconnect our lips. Our gaze lingers for a second, adoring her gorgeous dark, almond-shaped eyes before she turns around and searches a table.

The attention goes back to ordering our meal. His expression is priceless. This man is definitely pissed, his jaw is tense and his glare is dark with almost hatred against me, behind the corner of his eyes. I catch his nametag, Min Yoongi. He types my order before telling me the price. Yoongi's voice is deep and husky yet cold and emotionless. Almost intimidating. While I hand him my card I watch him carefully but he doesn't give a glare back, maybe out of purpose.

When I reach the table my girlfriend chose I find her nervous persona sitting with her face buried into the palms of her hands. Look at this cute little panda covering her eyes like a child. "You do know that everyone can see you, right? You don't disappear by covering your eyes, my love."

"Shut up. I worked at a kindergarten. I know that." Her sassy tone is different and I love it. God, what do I not love about her? I grab her wrists softly and lower them to look at her flustered cheeks. "This is so embarrassing. Why did you kiss me in front of hi_"

"Him?" I interrupt. "I needed to show him what he fucked up. What he lost and won't get back ever again, because you're mine!"

"His parents!" Crystal says through gritted teeth. "His parents were in the kitchen, they saw us." Now I feel a little embarrassed but I don't regret it. Thankfully she's not too upset as she giggles when I start to shrug my shoulders as if I didn't care. She holds my hand and I love how soft her thumb caresses my skin.

The sight of her makes my heart beat so fast that I feel like walking a marathon without getting tired. Our conversation about moving in together had me in a chokehold. It was a big surprise that she agreed to it. We can't wait to move in together so we chose her apartment. She knows about my people, the Korean society, that's why she recommended her home. It's impressive how she coped with this so fast. I didn't even have to explain the situation when she came up with her idea in the first place.

In the corner of my eye, I see a person approaching us, it's her ex holding plates. He puts them down carefully. But when he's done, he doesn't walk away. His eyes meet mine and I am confused at his confident ass. After observing me his head turns to Crystal and their eyes meet.

The second she looks at him, her eyes change into a dark aura that I never saw on her before. My sweet and bubbly panda is nowhere near this person right in front of me. This only shows me an idea of what she's been through with this man. It's not hatred that covers her eyes but disappointment and pain.

"Hey Cris, long time no see!" This dude has the audacity to speak to her.

"Purposely, of course!" Crystal snarls back without hesitation. Her ex scoffs and steps away. The woman I love inhales sharply and a heavy sigh leaves her lungs. Never did I see her act so cold and it's the complete opposite of the person I know. She was hot, though. The dominance in her body language fired me up. Yet I hope I'll never get that look from her.

She relaxes as soon as I take her hands into mine and the woman I know is back to normal. We eat unbothered while chatting. On one point, the topic of New Year's Eve comes across. "Love, do you want to celebrate with me and my friends? It's been planned since a while ago. My friend’s parents have this mansion where we had parties a few times. Jungkook won't be there, don't worry." I have a feeling I need to point this out.

Crystal smiles brightly and nods her head, "Why not, I don't have plans anyway."

an: please don't forget to vote⭐

Are we ready for a little bit of drama?
The next chapters will get interesting and I am sooo excited!!!

And, I created a Discord server. Whoever wants to join my little garden is welcome. Just tell me.

🌸🐼💋