Ali Gatie
What if I told you

"What if I told that I love you?
Would you tell me that you love me back? What if I you told you that I miss you? Would you tell me that you miss me back?"

The fall season has officially started, and the trees color their leaves in a beautiful warm tone. It's my favorite time of the year. New York City is busy as always, and Jin fashion is well-visited today. Our brand-new fall and winter collection arrived and the customers are burning to try them on and pay for the pieces they like and fit in.

Although I didn't sleep long, I'm full of energy. Even the thought of the conversation I'll have with Naomi later isn't taking me down. Unfortunately, she wasn't the one bringing up this topic, I approached her this morning that we need to talk. We agreed to meet during our lunch break. Naomi is a bit weird toward me. She is usually very loud and impulsive but in a positive way.

My friend acts normal around our colleagues but as soon as I'm getting closer she becomes silent and avoids eye contact. That hurts a bit but I don't want to assume anything before talking to her about Jungkook. The things he did were horrible and as long as I don't have to see him or be near that guy, I'm okay with her dating him. It's up to her.

What I'm excited about is calling Tae tonight. The feelings inside me are unbearable and I already know that I'm falling for this man. It's too fast but he doesn't make it hard for me to adore him. He has everything I want in a man and more. I'm afraid to be rejected but my heart says it's ok, he feels the same towards me. His actions speak more than words could tell or maybe he's just being nice and I misinterpreted his indication. 

Last night was just incredible as if it were a dream. The way he touched me was so gentle and careful yet every part he touched was as if electricity bolted through my whole body. I never felt safer beside anyone else than Taehyung, not in this amount. Trusting someone is already difficult for me but I do believe in Kim Taehyung, I believe that he won't hurt me, not intentionally.

Another pain in the ass is Jimin. Why did he appear all of a sudden? He was a little drunk which makes it more suspicious. I thought he forgot me, I was just a one-night stand and that's what it was. Didn't he find a prey for that night and suddenly I came to his mind? Jimin is confusing me but I don't care about him. He's someone I don't want to do anything with; not now or in the future. How he treated me shows how he treats women if they'd disagree or disobey to fulfill his needs. I don't need another Yoongi.

°♡°

"Are you avoiding me, Naomi?" I ask my friend. We're sitting together in the office, our lunch still untouched in front of us on the table. It's so quiet that it feels awkward to sit next to my friend, someone has to break the ice.

"I'm not…" The gorgeous woman says in a low voice. Her eyes focus on the food. I have never seen her like this, it's weird, and I do like the usual Naomi better but conversations like this are important to save the friendship.

"Ok, what is the problem then? Naomi, I waited for your call or for you to come back to me. But you went with him instead." my friend isn't looking but my eyes watch her figure, patiently waiting for her to look back. "Please, don't say to me you thought I was interested in Jungkook, cause if that's the case_"

"No. I know you're not interested in him. Ris, I'm sorry, I know I should have been there for you but JK was pissed and I was scared he'd hurt himself." She interrupts me, " this will sound like a joke to you but he isn't usually like that. I think he did too many drugs that day. He wasn't himself!"

This hurt. She is defending him even though she was there and has seen the situation I was in. "That is not an excuse. He knew exactly what he was doing."

"I don't think so, he really was not himself. He hit his head and fists against the wall until his fists were covered in blood!" she finally looks at me with a frown.

"That probably was my blood! And he hit himself because Tae stopped him." The anger is boiling up and my body starts trembling. How can she be this naive?

"Your blood?" She asks ironically as if she doesn't believe me.

"You don't have any idea what he did to me right?" 

"He said he wanted to help you up so you could go to the toilet."

A snort leaves my lungs at the poor explanation he told her. He's not just a disgusting fuckboy but also a shitty liar. 

"Naomi, let me tell you this, he shoved his fingers inside me without permission, and he did it so rough that I started bleeding!" My voice cracks, repeating the scenes in my head is painful but what breaks my heart is her attitude. She doesn't believe me.

"He can be rough sometimes_"

"Naomi, he fucking did it without me wanting anything of that! Jungkook took advantage of my numb and weak body. If Tae_" breathing gets heavier as I feel the ache in my heart and my tears build up to fall. "If Tae came just a bit later, Jungkook would've raped me!" There's no holding back now that it's out. The woman next to me says nothing and her head is down with a confused expression.

"I'm so sorry, Crystal. I didn't know_"

"You could have asked me. I'm just a call away but you didn't even send me a text. You disappointed me and left me alone!" my voice seems to give up on me as it breaks in the middle of the sentence.

"I am very sorry.'' Naomi looks at me with teary eyes and approaches me with open arms and takes me in a warm embrace.

We stay silent and cry together. I understand her without her saying anything, she feels bad for what happened but can't say it in words. Naomi does not speak about stuff like this, whenever it gets complicated she tends to run away but not with me. Even though she disappointed me she's still my friend and she deserved my perspective on that day. She gets a second chance.

Having a friend is special to me, I don't have many and never had a big group of fellows. As an introvert, I'm dealing with things on my own and especially with the past I had. I have to be cautious about whom I tell about it because that's my weakest point. This person used to be my ex but he shattered me and hit it in my face whenever we would fight. He is the only one who knows about my dad.

It's already 8 pm and I'm the one closing the shop today. Usually, it's Jin who leaves the least but today he's free. Jin doesn't want me to close the shop during the fall and winter seasons as it's getting dark very early. My boss is very thoughtful about his female employees. He never wants us to be alone. That's why he always schedules a male and a female worker during the whole day just in case anything could happen.

My colleague and I leave through the main entrance of the shopping mall and we wave goodbye as we walk in different directions. I pull my phone out to check if someone has sent a message but it is none. A little sigh leaves my mouth as I sit on the bench waiting for my tram. I wonder what Tae would say if I tell him my feelings now that I know that I fell in love with him.

The stars up there are not visible but I imagine them to shine bright while I dream of the man who holds my soul in his eyes. What is he doing? Did he eat? These questions, I want to ask him when I see him. The cold air draws my breath into white smoke and I puff O's out to form little rings but it doesn't work, that's when I hear a deep chuckle from the opposite side of the trails.

I try to focus on the person but deep down I already know who he is. I would notice him from thousands of people, my eyes would automatically choose him. His fluffy dark hair moves with the cold breeze and his sweet boxy smile presents to me his neat and white teeth. Kim Taehyung is sitting there and watching me. His mouth says something but I can't hear him clearly as the traffic is too noisy. I shake my head for him to understand that I can't hear him.

Tae places his hands next to his mouth and says again something, the last word is when he points at me. So I concentrate hard to read him.

I was waiting for you!