Justin Timberlake
Mirrors

"It's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me
I couldn't get any bigger (oh-oh)
With anyone else beside me"

A buzzing phone pulls me away from dreamland and I open my eyes just to find out that my phone isn't ringing. When I turn around I remember that I asked Tae to stay the night. He is sleeping peacefully while hugging me from behind. His body heat is very cozy and I immediately want to fall asleep but the vibration hinders me.

"Tae, your phone." he doesn't react at all.

"Tae, wake up!" Again, he is like a stone and doesn't move a muscle. I wiggle my ass against him and suddenly he moves with me and grabs my ass closer to him. "Tae!"

"Hmm, are you horny? I'm ready," he mumbles.

"Tae, your phone is buzzing." he opens his eyes confused, "Tae, phone!" Finally, he turns around to grab his phone and answers the phone. I don't understand the language he's speaking. It's the middle of the night, and curious to know what time we have I check my phone, it's 3:30 am. Who would call him this late or early?

"Ok, Hyung." That is what he says before hanging up. He takes a long breath and smashes his forehead with his flat hand. " It's 3:30 am?!" 

"Yes, that's the time, anything wrong?" I ask him.

"My big brother called me just to say that he sent me an email, I should check my mailbox." Taehyung turns to me and takes the same position, he's back hugging me again, and nuzzles his face onto my neck.

"It's 3:30 am!" I explain.

"That's my Namjoon Hyung, he forgot that New York and Seoul have a time gap of about 13 hours." The sound of his voice on my neck gives me goosebumps and is tickling me. It's getting worse when he starts breathing. I can't take it anymore and roll myself into the fetal position to escape the tickling over-stimulation. "Sugar, what are you doing?"

"It's too much!" I say with an almost indistinct voice as I talk into the blanket.

"What is too much?" Tae crawls under the blanket and snuggles onto my back again and pulls me closer to him.

"You…" I answer back. The sudden loss of his body heat is not even countable. Taehyung pulls away from me instantly and I turn perplexed back to look at him.

"I'm so sorry, Crissy. I didn't think when I embraced you; where's my mind? Shame on me!... Did I touch you inappropriately or did I do naughty things to you while asleep?" Tae is panicking, his eyes are apologetic and I can see the honesty.

"Tae, no, you didn't do anything wrong. It was just…" Searching for the right word to describe to him what I felt is a bit tricky. His breath and his warmth turned me on and it annoyed me. I'm confused about myself, after what happened, how is it possible to feel so relaxed? 

Am I really as Jungkook said? A dick-loving…?

"Just what, Sugar? Tell me, I won't do it anymore." Usually, he would approach me but I see how he was holding back when he put his arm down. 

"It's nothing, you just tickled me and it was too much to handle that my body reacted on its own." I lie. The truth is, I want to be near him as close as possible but what am I then? Just as Jungkook said. Tea will think the same, he'll think that I'm easy, that I'm sleeping with anyone although I'm not. Is it bad to yearn for him?

"That's it?'' He asks me confused.

"That's it!" 

"Ok, I'll be alert not to breathe onto your neck but can I hold you? Is that ok?" This handsome man lies on his side and pats the empty spot in front of him. He's waiting for my reply. That's why it's hard for me, Taehyung knows exactly how to get me with his words and efforts. As if he has the description of my book, the key to my chain, or the answers to my questions.

"That'll be okay, I think." His hug is what I need right now and that's more than enough. And instead of thinking about negative thoughts, the moment I lay in his embrace all of them disappear, and seconds later I fall asleep with his arms around me. 

°♡°

The annoying beeping sound of an alarm clock tunes from Tae's phone but this time he reacts on his own. It's still dark outside except for the lamps which are always on 24/7, this is New York. I turn around to face him and his tired eyes meet mine as if he was waiting for me.

"Good morning." His voice is still sleepy but so sexy and low.

"Morning, did you sleep well?"

"Mhm, wish I could stay in bed and sleep a bit more." Taehyung caresses my waist slowly and I pull closer to him. Curious how he'll react, I halt in front of his face. He doesn't back away from me and this makes me glad. The little mole on his bottom lip is always the first thing I recognize when I examine his flawlessly handsome face. It's still a riddle to me that this man is with me right here right now at this moment and through one of the worst situations I've gone through.

If I had someone to lean on when my dad did these horrible things to me when I was a kid, would I have been healed by now? Could it have been easier to forget all the disgusting and unbearable memories which I'm still afraid of to even look back at this chapter of my life? If I had a Kim Taehyung then, would I be happier and maybe more confident about myself?

Tae molds our lips into one, his soft and warm lips devour my mouth as if he's claiming me as his. A quiet moan left my mouth as he pulls me closer by my ass cheeks, leaving no space between us. I'm on the edge of losing myself when he twirls his tongue under my earlobe, and I have to hold on for dear life not to jump on his lap and take what I was craving since I woke up this morning.

"Mhmm," he growls onto my neck, "I need to go, Sugar." Tae takes my eyes hostage and I see the disappointment behind his irises. So he wanted me the way I wanted him. A sigh of relief escapes my lungs when I realize that he's stone-hard for me as I feel his dick poking through the thin fabric on my already wet core. I place little kisses on his cheeks and the tip of his nose to loosen the sexual tension around us. "Don't tease me, woman." With an effortlessly swish he hovers above me and bites playfully the bottom of my lips and grinds sensually with his boner against my sex.

I chuckle in amusement to see what effect I have on this man but it could also be his morning wood or he had a wet dream?! "Oh, is this funny to you?" Tae grins mischievously and presses his forehead against mine, "do you like to see me struggling on holding back from fucking you?" As soon as he finishes his sentence I see the shock painting all over his face and he adjusts back sitting on his knees.

"Tae, are you ok?" I sit up to study his expression.

"I'm sorry, Crissy, I talked without thinking…" The man in front of me brushes through his thick dark hair with his lusciously long fingers. He doesn't look at me. "I didn't want to sound greedy or like someone who only wants that thing." 

"Taehyung, can I ask you something, please be honest with me!" I ask, still watching him. The handsome man nods and meets my eyes when he perks up to look at my face. "Am I dirty? Are you disgusted by the fact that Jungkook touched me? Do you still feel any attraction to me?" Talking about what's been eating me up since yesterday is nerve-wracking as I feel tears building up in the corner of my eyes but I'm trying not to show him.

"Crystal, do you think I'm that kind of man?" He takes my hands in his palms. "If I sent you the wrong intentions then I'm apologizing from the bottom of my heart." Tae draws circles on the back of my hand with his thumb, his voice very carefully and gently. "As I said, it is not your fault, sugar, JK is the one who's at fault. You did nothing wrong. Don't blame yourself for something you couldn't control from the beginning, 'cause he took advantage of the situation!" 

I suck in a tear as I listen to his words, feeling a warm sensation around my belly as he cups my face in his strong yet very smooth hands, to make me look at him. His deep brown irises carving into my soul, scared for him to find out my darkest secret I try to run away from his gaze. "Sugar, look at me, please," and I do as he pleads. " I have been attracted to you since the day I first met you, I don't know what it is about you but you do something to me, and it's something amazing."

My brows crease and I start searching what the lie is in what he just said but I can't find a single untruth in his expression. His eyes are clear although it's dark in my room. The smooth lighting from the city is enough to see him. After all that happened in my past relationship, it's hard for me to trust men. They'd lie to get what they want just to throw you away later. But it's different with Taehyung, funny to say, but I believe him.

The man in front of me swipes a single tear away from my cheeks as I couldn't hold it any longer from flowing. "Crystal, you make me feel comfortable and I'm happy when I'm with you. Don't misunderstand me but when I look at you it's as if I look at me. We're kinda the same, I think." He makes me speechless, there are no words to add for me.

Taehyung collects all his belongings together after we sat on the bed for a while just staring into one another and after a few soft kisses were exchanged. He hurriedly searches for his keychain and I join him to look for it until I find them on the kitchen counter. "Tae, found them!" I rush to my entry to see him off. "Have a safe trip." Holding onto the hem of his coat I say my goodbyes.

"It's just half an hour, my Panda bear, you sound as if I have to drive for hours." The gorgeous man chuckles and I notice the little mole on his bottom lips again.

"Panda bear?"

"Yes, you are my Panda from now on." Tae points with his index finger to my chest as I follow his movements I discover where it comes from. My pajama has a big print of a panda bear on it. He grabs me by my hips and gives me a long deep kiss. I stop breathing for a few seconds, as I let myself drown in his sweet temptation.

"See you, Panda. I'll call you later!" We hold eye contact until he enters the elevator and waves a goodbye.