Looking in the mirror wasn't really something Jim wanted to do, but the control freak living under his skin made him. Spock was doing his very best to pretend not to be paying attention, so he had as much privacy as he was going to get given that they still had to be in the same room. The sonic shower had been good, but he really needed a shave. Of course, most of his things were back in his quarters and not in sickbay's little side bathroom, so that would have to wait.

After a night of dreamless sleep thanks to Bones' hyposprays, he felt stronger and much more together, but his reactions to Spock were still freaking him out. Owning the changes to his physical appearance was about the best he could do to take control of the situation at the moment.

Eyes that weren't quite his own stared back at him as he finally looked at himself. His irises were still blue, at least, but they kind of glittered, just like the markings that ran along his cheek bones now. The Sonarians were, for want of a better word, a sparkly people and now he resembled them quite a lot. According to Spock's initial analysis when they had arrived at the planet, the Sonarians regulated their biorhythms through microscopic crystals in patches of their skin and other body parts, which, when grouped together, refracted light. Evolution seemed to have made this effect a kind of display.

Jim was glad he was not as glittery as Lambert, who seemed to have patches all over his body, or at least what was visible of it given the man's short sleeved uniform. On quick inspection, Jim's seemed to be limited to his face and the hollow of his throat, which was at least one blessing.

The whole situation was so completely screwed up. He did not want to be bonded to Spock, it was just utterly insane. The fact was, some crazies had messed with his DNA and Bones would figure it out and unscramble it for him. He had to believe that because everything else was simply impossible. Until then he had to live with the glitter.

Glancing at Spock, he could feel his instincts reaching out, all but demanding that he be as close to his first officer as possible. It was almost a compulsion, but he refused to give in to it. When this was all over, he would laugh about it, he was sure. It was so bizarre it had to be funny. Until then he was fighting.

Taking a brush, he dragged it through his hair and did his best to make himself presentable.

Twenty minutes later he was dressed and feeling a whole lot more like himself. A night in sickbay was never something he enjoyed and having to be near Spock was kind of embarrassing with so many people in and out all the time. He felt a bit like a bug under a magnifying scanner.

"I'm releasing you to your own quarters," Bones told him, "but if I see you anywhere near a duty station, I will confine you to sickbay, do you understand."

"Yes, Bones," he said dutifully; his doctor friend knew him too well.

"Take some time, rest and figure this out," was the gruff advice, but Jim wasn't sure he wanted to figure it out. "I want you back here at eighteen hundred so I can give you a check-up. If I come up with anything with the Sonarians before then I'll contact you."

Jim nodded, praying that that call would come sooner rather than later.

"Shall we?" he asked of Spock, Allen and Lambert, who were all hovering nearby.

"After you, Captain," was Spock's professional reply.

He had to nod at a few people on the way back to his quarters, but he managed it without actually having to talk to anyone, which was a blessing. However, he couldn't help feeling that his rooms were way too small with four people in them. He felt claustrophobic, as if he was trapped, but he knew it was just the situation making him feel that way.

"Tell me about being a submissive then," he said, sitting down and ignoring all his instincts to be closer to Spock. "What should I expect until Bones can figure this all out?"

Given the expression on Allen's face, he was pretty sure the attaché didn't believe the situation was going to be figured out, but Jim was an optimist. However, forewarned was forearmed, at least he hoped so and he looked at Lambert for an answer.

"In the beginning you do want to do everything your mate tells you," Lambert said in a very sympathetic tone, "but that's just the bond settling down. You will adjust and things will seem more normal."

"How can anything about this ever be normal?" Jim asked, feeling peevish and conflicted. "I don't want any part of it."

"The first thing you have to accept is that you do," Lambert told him, annoying him even more. "At least for now," the Protector added quickly. "At a fundamental level, you do want your mate and you do want him to tell you what to do. Until you accept that, you can't begin to control what is happening to you, even in the short term."

Jim glared at Spock, who was sitting calmly in the corner, apparently failing to react to anything that was going on. The pull and the need to walk over to Spock was incredible, but he refused to give in to it. He was the damn captain, he could not be weak.

"I cannot be like this and remain a Starfleet captain," he objected, because that was one of his central dilemmas.

"Of course you can," Allen said.

"Starfleet will not allow a captain to maintain command if he is compromised by his first officer," Spock countered and Jim hated it, but he had been about to say something along the same lines.

"Once the bond has settled it isn't like that," Lambert said and then looked at Allen for backup.

Jim looked at Allen as well to see what the smaller man would say.

"Adam, sit!" was the rather surprising response.

Lambert just lifted a very unimpressed looking eyebrow at that.

"But..." Jim said, however it appeared Allen wasn't finished.

The Sonarian walked up to his mate and smiled in a very sexy way, placing a gentle hand on the other man's chest. The change was almost instantaneous and, as Jim watched, he saw Lambert's focus narrow down completely to Allen.

"Adam, sit down for me, Baby."

Lambert kind of folded like a house of cards and ended up sitting cross legged on the floor, staring up at Allen.

"Thank you," Allen said and bent down to give the other man a kiss.

The smile that graced Lambert's face was kind of euphoric; the man looked so incredibly happy. Jim didn't know whether to be creeped out or happy with him.

"Do you see the difference?" Allen asked and offered Lambert his hand, while glancing at first Spock then Jim.

"The response is sexual," Spock said.

"Partially, it's about pleasure, sex was just the easiest illustration," Allen said and smiled a little.

Jim did not feel like smiling and when he looked down at his hands, he realised they were shaking. It was humiliating. When Spock silently stood up, walked over and sat down next to him he wanted to scream, especially when the tremors running through him stopped.

"I would suggest you rest, Captain," Allen said in what was an annoyingly compassionate tone. "You are still going through a hormonal upheaval and the more you rest the sooner it will be over."

He wanted to scream at them all and tell them to get the hell out of his personal space, but he just nodded. At least if he was asleep, or reading a book, or something he didn't have to think too much. Even though he had only been up and around for an hour or two he was feeling sleepy again.

"With your permission, Captain," Spock said as logically and politely as ever, "I will remain within arm's reach."

"Whatever," he replied, "sorry," he apologised instantly, after all it wasn't Spock's fault.

"Your ire is perfectly understandable, Captain," Spock told him, "I do not take it personally."

Jim felt like laughing, because that was so Spock and for some reason it pissed him off even more. If Spock had been demanding answers and yelling at people, it would have been somehow easier. The Vulcan's calm acceptance got on his nerves.

Before he could say or do anything else stupid, he picked up the PAD from his table.

"Um," he said as he realised, he had no idea where Lambert and Allen could go if not his rooms.

"I need to liaise with my government," Allen said as if sensing his confusion. "With your permission, Captain, Adam and I will retire to our quarters. If you need us, please do not hesitate to call."

Jim nodded without even thinking about it. He was glad someone had seen fit to assign rooms to the two visitors.

"Thank you," he said, "for everything."

"It is the least we can do," Lambert told him and he had the feeling the man really meant it.

It was when the two men left that he realised he was holding the PAD, but of course Spock had nothing. Since Spock could not leave him that made for a very awkward situation.

"Um, did you want this?" he asked, offering the device to the Vulcan.

"Thank you, Captain," Spock replied, "but I have already requested several things brought from my quarters. Yeoman Evans should arrive with them momentarily."

Now Jim did laugh, of course Spock had everything organised. Praying that he would not lose what was left of his mind before Bones came up with a solution, he set his mind to reading. Bones would undoubtedly have his hide if he so much as looked at a report, so he pulled up the book he had started before the whole Sonarian mission had come up and settled in.