Adam didn't remotely try to get in Kris' way as his partner stormed to the nearest communications station. They had just come from sickbay where Jim was still unconscious, and Kris was furious. Adam didn't blame him either, he was pretty angry himself.

"Admiral Pike," Kris said after punching buttons.

It took a little while, but then Pike popped onto the screen.

"Attaché Allen," Pike said politely, "what can I do for you?"

"What the hell did you think you were doing?" Kris didn't bother to regulate his volume or tone and Adam was impressed by the look that caused on Pike's face.

Usually Kris was polite, happy and laid back, but Adam was well aware his lover had his moments.

"I would appreciate it if you would calm yourself, Mr Allen," Pike said, face hardening. "This was an internal Starfleet matter and was handled as such."

"And you didn't think to check before you did something so incredibly stupid?" Kris demanded.

"We were acting on your recommendations," Pike pointed out, clearly holding onto his anger.

"I made no such recommendation," Kris said, glaring.

Adam had seen more powerful men than Pike cave under that stare before.

"Your report indicated that a simulation ..."

"I know what I said," Kris all but yelled back. "That does not mean I condone this idiotic course of action."

"This was a necessary test of Captain Kirk and ..."

"You could have killed him."

That shut up Pike and Adam mentally scored a point for Kris.

"What?" the Admiral asked and to his credit, the man looked shocked.

"You made Jim think Spock was dead," Kris said, finally regulating his tone. "Their bond is new, and Jim has already been through more stress than any being should in such a short time. The shock could have killed him."

For a moment Pike looked stricken.

"We had no idea," Pike admitted. "I must speak with Jim."

"He's in sickbay," Adam stepped in as Kris calmed himself down, "unconscious. He collapsed after your message. He's recovering now that Spock has returned to the ship, but Dr McCoy has sedated him to make sure he rests."

"Jim collapsed?" Pike's tone changed at that information.

"The moment his duty was done, Admiral," Kris said, voice hardening again. "Do not make the mistake of seeing this as a weakness. You cannot conceive of the strength it took for Jim to keep going when you simulated Spock's death."

Kris didn't give Pike a chance to respond and just cut the connection, at which point Adam reached for his bondmate. Kris sagged into his arms and he held on.

"Can you imagine..?" Kris asked, voice soft and distressed.

"No," Adam replied before Kris could go on, "I don't want to. They don't understand, they never will be able to, now we just have to worry about Jim, Spock and Nyota."

Kris nodded, turning and face planting right into his chest. It was a request for comfort and Adam just gave all he could. What Starfleet had done to Jim was a crime as heinous as attempted murder on their home planet; it was beyond his comprehension.

~*~

The fact that Jim had a three minute apology from Pike on his personal messaging log and a request to talk to him privately didn't change the fact he was still reeling from the simulation. It didn't escape him that the Enterprise was being given special access to the Starbase's facilities either as all of his crew were extended shore leave. Pike clearly realised Starfleet had screwed up royally, but Jim was just glad he had a few days to get over the incident before they were being sent off to god knew where.

Since Bones had released him from sickbay, he had returned to his quarters with Spock and had buried himself in reports. Bones had banned him from the bridge until at least the next day, but he could still find something else to focus on. Spock had taken to sitting quietly in the corner doing something similar.

"Jim," Spock's voice finally caught his attention, at which point he realised he had been staring at the wall.

Spock was standing right next to him and he hadn't even noticed.

"You do not look well."

"I'm fine," he said, but there was a catch in his voice.

"I feel I must point out, you are not fine."

It was said so logically, but Spock placed a hand on his arm at the same time and that was not so logical at all. Jim felt his breathing shudder as he was once again reminded of what he had thought he had lost.

"I am perfectly all right," he tried to say, but this time his voice broke completely, and he had trouble blinking back the wetness in his eyes.

He did not cry; he hadn't cried since he was a child and he was not about to start now. Only, the problem was, he didn't seem to be able to stop. The sob that was wrenched from his chest would not die and all his carefully constructed mental strength crumbled. He had faced death on more than one occasion, but what he had felt when facing Spock's had torn him apart. All he could do was sob his pain into his hands.

If Spock had been human Jim probably would have found himself enveloped in a hug, but Spock was not human and instead knelt down next to his chair. What Jim wanted to do was hide his shame at his tears, but his mate would not let him. Spock placed fingers under his chin and lifted his face so that he had to look into the Vulcan's eyes.

"I am alive," Spock told him in a very straightforward tone. "I would never have been deceived by such a primitive trap as was presented in the simulation. There is only a one in one hundred probability that we will encounter any entity or situation that will cause either of us to die before the other."

Jim hiccupped as that fired the logical centres of his brain.

"That can't be right," he said, or at least managed enough of a facsimile of what he wanted to say for Spock to understand.

"I did not include any entity or situation which might cause us to die together," Spock said without so much as batting an eye.

Jim laughed. It wasn't controlled, was definitely still on the hysterical side of any reaction he could have given, and he was still crying, but it was a laugh. No sentiment or human comfort could have cut through what he was feeling, but Spock had seemed to know exactly what to say. The pain was still right there, but at least for a moment, Jim had a little distance to it.

"Die together?" he said as he tried to catch his breath.

"That would be the only logical course of action," Spock replied and very carefully placed his fingers on the side of Jim's face. "If I may," he said, "I believe this may help."

"Yes," Jim said, voice still unsteady.

"My mind to your mind, my thoughts to your thought," Spock said and then they were flowing into each other without form or boundaries and it was exactly what Jim needed.

It was intimate and binding and Jim let his being be wrapped in the comfort and warmth of proof that his bondmate had not been taken from him, but was right there in mind and body. He could not say it was enough, he wasn't sure when his battered psyche would settle, but it was enough for then.

~*~

The Enterprise had a new mission; a diplomat needed dropping off at one of the outer colonies and then the crew were back into unknown territory. Adam was enjoying exploring the way the ship ran and all its systems and he had been talking to security hoping he might be useful.

As it was, the ship had one evening of shore leave left and he and Kris had volunteered to help give the Enterprise a good send off. They were staging a concert on the starbase with several musicians from the Enterprise and Adam was looking forward to it like nothing else. The one thing he really missed was the music of Sonara.

Kris nudged him as he was checking the settings for one of the instruments and nodded towards the right side.

Adam looked over and was just in time to see Jim reach out, grab Nyota and pull her into his lap. She said something, slapped him and he almost fell of the seat laughing. It made Adam smile.

He hadn't seen Jim laugh or even smile much since Starfleet had almost destroyed him and seeing the other man joking about was the best result he could have hoped for. There were still dark patches under Jim's eyes and Adam could tell his friend was keeping an eye on where Spock was, but it was clear things were improving.

"Their bond is settling again," Kris whispered to him quietly.

"Humans are resilient," Adam replied, "Vulcans too."

"They are better matched than I ever could have imagined," Kris agreed.

Spock looked up at them and shared a look, at which point Adam realised the sharp eared Vulcan had to have been able to hear them. He smiled and nodded at Spock in acknowledgement and then turned back to Kris.

It didn't take long to finish the set up as the other musicians took their places, then the lights went down. Adam moved to the centre of the stage with Kris just behind him and to the side before taking a deep breath. Kris played a single note and Adam opened his mouth and hit one over an octave higher in a perfect harmony. The crowd cheered and the concert was underway.

There was nothing that Adam loved more than music, nothing that could make his heart and soul soar in quite the same way. As he looked around at the faces, some he knew, some he didn't, he was glad he could bring this joy to others. He had never really expected to leave Sonara, his people weren't exactly explorers, but he did not regret that he had.

Jim, Spock and Nyota would need help and their friends and colleagues would need to continue to adjust, but the worst was behind. What lay ahead was simply adventure.

The End

Thank you so much for reading, I really hope you enjoyed the story.

~*~

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