The next morning, I awoke cold and lonely. I sat up and started my morning routine. I gazed in the mirror in front of me and counted the numerous scars littering my shoulders, chest, and face. Years of hunting toned my muscles and gave me thousands of stories for each scar. What would he even like in this body. I rolled my eyes and finished my routine. I dressed into a pair of light blue skinny jeans, ACDC crop top, and my leather jacket and combat boots. I stepped into Sam and Dean's motel room and shook my head as they both lay asleep. I looked at the time and sighed. "Five in the morning? Man, I'm off." I sigh, taking a seat at the table. Sam sat up on his bed, squinting and rubbing his head as I sat at the table. "Want me to go grab some coffee?" I hum, looking over at him.

"What time is it?" He groans, reaching over to grab his phone. "You're never up this early, Lottie." I roll my eyes and get up. I grab the Impala keys "Coffee, cream, two sugars?" I hum, smiling when he nods. "Be back in a jiff."

I leave the room as Dean sits up with a groan. I shake my head and crank up the Impala and head towards the nearest place for coffee. I grab three coffees and load two with sugar and cream and start sipping at the black coffee. The drive back towards the motel went way to quick. I wasn't prepared to talk with Dean.  I step out of the Impala, gazing into the window to their door. Dean is arguing with Sam for a second before looking outside and spotting me. He waves his arm at Sam, ignoring everything Sam is about to say. I roll my eyes and stop in. "What's with the arguing?" I hum.

"Who's arguing? I don't see any arguing." Dean replies, taking the coffee I held out for him. "Anyway, there was another victim. We're meeting Cassie there." I scrunch up my nose and storm out, getting into the Impala and starting her up, honking the horn when they didn't follow.

~*****~

We arrived at the crime scene to see emergency vehicles everywhere on the empty field. A smashed up car sat in the field. Officers had been expecting it while we spot Cassie talking to the white man from the office, and again, she didn't look to happy about his presence. As we approached, we caught the last half of the conversation. "Close the main road. The only road in and out of our town? Accidents do happen, Cassie. That's what they are. Accidents." He told her as Sam, Dean, and I approached.

"Did the cops check for additional denting on Jimmy's car, to see if it was pushed?" Dean asked, looking back at the wreckage for a second before turning back to them.

The man looked at us, his eyes trailing over my figure before turning to Cassie. "Who's this?"

"Dean and Sam Winchester." She introduced, pointedly ignoring my presence.

"I'm Carlotta Bellway." I snap, glaring at the back of her head. "And, yeah. I'm actually here."

"There's a set of tire tracks... One.... Doesn't point to foul play." Mayor Todd explained. I looked over at the car and gazed at the one set of tire tracks.

"Mayor, the police and town officials take their cues from you. If you're indifferent about-" Cassie was cut off by the Mayor.

"Indifferent!" He snapped, appalled at her insinuation.

"Would you close off the road if the victim were white?" Cassie accused.

"Are you suggesting I'm racist, Cassie? I'm the last person you should be talking to like that." He growled, narrowing his eyes in rage.

"And why is that?" She asked, sass in her tone.

"Why don't you ask your mother?" He growled before walking away, leaving Cassie to stand shocked and confused.

~*****~

The men were in dressing into their fed suits while I sat in my room, applying the last of my make up. I growled out in frustration as my eyeliner came out wonky. I was in a foul mood. I really did not like how Dean was acting with Cassie. I finished fixing my make up as Sam and Dean stepped in. "When we get there, can you not talk to Cassie like you did earlier?" Dean asked, looking into the mirror and fixing his tie. I stand up with a growl.

"Excuse you?" I ask, my hands balling into fists. "What did you just say? Be a little nicer?"

"Yeah, you were pretty rude at the crime scene." Dean commented.

"She! Ignored the fact I was even there, you incompetent ass! If anything, she should be apologizing to me!" I grab my phone and shove it into the pocket in my skirt.  "You know, just because you dated her, doesn't mean I have to be buddy buddy with her. I do not, I repeat, Do Not Like Cassie! Sure! She's pretty, but dammit, that doesn't mean you can just shove me aside as soon as she calls." I storm passed him, grabbing my jacket. "You know what, I'm not going. I'm going to have a drink. Thank you very much, See you later." I step out of my motel room and slam the door behind me and start stomping off.

The dingy bar really does feel like home as I step in. Leather adorned, bulky men and women sat at the bar, played pool, or danced with their partners by the juke box. I pulled off my jacket and headed to the bar, taking a seat between two really big men. I gazed at the arms on this guy. Tattoos covered his arms and went up to wrap around his neck and head. He drank from a small glass filled with, what I'm assuming to be either whiskey or rum. I wave my fingers a little. The bartender comes over to me, cleaning the glass in his hand with a crisp, white rag. "What'll ya have?"

"Hennessy." I hum, crossing my arms over on the bar and leaning forward slight. He sets down a glass and pours the amber colored cognac into the glass. "Leave the bottle." He smirks a little and sets the bottle down.

"Hard day?"

"You have no idea." I sip at the cognac, sucking in a little air as the alcohol burns at my tongue and glides down my throat. "Would it seem pathetic to say guy troubles?"

The man besides me answers, much to my surprise. "Typically, yeah. Most women sit at home and cry about those problems." He states, drinking the refilled glass in front of him.

"You'd be right, on all accounts. But, I don't have a home. I travel and hunt." I hum, fingering the edges of my glass.

"Mm." The big dude hums, drinking more whiskey. "What problems is this man givin' ya?"

"Well, it all started when I was a child. My parents died in some freak accident in the mountains. The 'problem' and his father came up, investigating on a hunch. Found me and decided to take me in. I grew up with him, and I started to fall for him after I dropped out of high school. It may have even started when I started exploring sexuality." I sigh, tossing back the rest of my cognac and smiling gratefully when the bartender refilled the glass with the bottle on the bar. I told them everything, but of course, leaving out the monsters and demons. I went through at least four bottles of cognac. My world was tilting a lot and my body felt fuzzy as I kept my buzz going strong. The big biker and I started doing shots after a few hours.

"You should probably tell this guy how ya feel." The man slurred, tossing back a shot of tequila. "He-" He hiccuped a little, leaning towards me and nearly crushing me. "He sounds like he loves ya."

"Ehhhh, I know he does...." I pop the top off the tequila bottle and start chugging. I set the empty bottle down and wave for another bottle. "Something strong." I slur to the bartender. He smirks a little before setting down a cup of ice water.

"Sober up. Can't have you dying of alcohol poisoning in my bar." I wave him off and lean against my palm.

I roll my eyes and gaze at the passed out man on the bar. My conversation partner had passed out. He snored heavily and drooled. I swiped the bottle that sat in front of him and turned around in my seat, looking at all the men and women still having a good time. Then a familiar mop of hair stepped into the bar, looking frantic. When he spotted me, I saluted with my drink and drank the rest of the bottle. "Lottie, is this where you've been? Drinking?!"

"Yah, Sammy, I have. I'm in my twenties, I can do what I please. Where's the dick?" I hum, slapping my money onto the bar and the bartender just grabs it and leaves my side and helps another customer.

"He's at-"

"Cassie's?" I hum, raising an eyebrow. "Kind of guessed that. He doesn't like me, remember?"

"Lottie, he's just-"

"Having the freakin' time of his life, am I right? I was fun while it lasted?" I stand on my feet, stumbling on my heels. "Take me to Cassie's house. I wanna give him a piece of my mind and slap him, hopefully." Sam sighs out of nose and props his hands on his hips.

"Lottie, I don't think-"

"I'm not askin', Samuel. I'm demanding." I shout, making everyone at the bar turn and look at me.

"Fine! You want to be hurt so bad, let's go!" Sam basically shouted back. We went out to a car that Sam had parked near the entrance. The drive was silent between us and I was trying so hard to stay awake. I was wasted and all the liquid courage may come back up later. We pulled up to the house where Dean and Cassie may be having the time of their lives in. I stumble up the steps, about to bang on the door when I hear shouting.

"Let's not forget who dumped who, okay?!" Dean yelled from inside. I furrowed my eyebrows and leaned against the door, leaning against it.

"I thought it was what you wanted." Cassie replied, in an equally raised tone.

"Well, it wasn't!" My heart slammed against my rib cage as I stood straight, looking at the door tiredly.

"I didn't mean to hurt you!" She said gently, slightly muffled. "But I knew you weren't in love with me."

"What are you talking about." He snapped.

"I know you love-" My phone started to ring in my pocket and I wanted so bad to run and slap at Sam. I cursed loudly and pulled it from my skirt and gazed at the name on the screen.

"Fuckin- Bobby." I reject the call as the door swings open. Dean stares at me with wide eyes as I stumble backwards.

"Lottie-" He stops talking as I slap him, stumbling sideways and collapsing against the door. "Are you drunk?" He asks, rubbing his cheek.

"You're-" I hiccup loudly before starting to talk again. "You're damn right I am. And you're a pig." Dean rolls his eyes at me and I see red. I slap him again, pushing him backwards slightly. "You just-" I stumble backwards and Dena grasps my arms as Cassie peers around his shoulder at me. "You just kiss, touch, and mess with my all the damn time, and when she!" I point at her. "Call, you come running! You can't just fuckin- " I snatch myself back and nearly fall down the steps. "Tell me I'm the only one, when girls like her come back into your life!"

Dean is about to say something else before I slap him and whirl around, storming down the steps to see Sam leaning against the car. "Sammy, leave her ass here, I'm taking her back to the motel." Dean demanded, halting me from moving towards him.

"Dean, I really think-"

"We're settling this. Now." Dean snaps. I try and tug myself away as Sam sends me an apologetic look before backing out of the driveway. "Now, you listen here. We came, because it's our job to take care of anything paranormal. This is a case, Lottie. Nothing more. I don't have feelings for Cassie anymore. I never will. We're two people who just don't belong together." I try to snatch my arm back again.

"You're such a liar!" I screech. He rolls his eyes again and tugs me to his chest, trapping me with his arms. His hand delves into my hair and pulls me forward, kissing me deeply. I pull away, trying to resist. "You can't just-" He kisses me again, silencing me. I close my eyes after a few seconds.

"You, are the only one that I will ever, ever love." He hums, cupping my cheek. Tears spill down my cheeks as I look away from him, wanting nothing more than to hide in my motel room. I start to sob, my buzz dying down and the exhaustion coming forth. "Let's get you back to the motel. You can get a shower, go relax, and get to sleep. Alright?" He hums, running his fingers through my messy hair.

I keep sobbing and cover my lips. "Back up." I mutter.

"Lottie, I thought we-" He stopped as I threw up on his shoes, retching quietly as I lean over, feeling his hands grasp my hair. "Alright, come on." He sighed, leading me to the car as I keep retching. "Don't throw up in my car, got it?" I mumble a few incoherent words before I basically fall into the Impala. The drive back, I holding in my puke just so Dean won't yell at me for that. I'm in the motel room the next thing I know and hunched over the toilet, tossing out the rest of my night. Dean chews on a slim jim, holding my hair back as I throw up for the third time this night. "You owe me new shoes, you know that?"

I mumble out some obscene words before crawling into the shower, leaving Dean by the toilet. He eats the rest of his slim jim before flushing. The shower starts and I pass out with the cold water pelting my back.

~*****~

I awoke in a cold sweat, shivering wildly as I try to make sense of my surroundings. The soft tick of the clock over head, the subtle rustle of the blankets as I sit up. My brain catches up and I'm looking around my motel room, staring at Dean asleep on the couch. I cover my mouth hurriedly and race to the bathroom, emptying my stomach of anything present, which wasn't much. I groan in agony as the stomach acid burns at my throat and tongue. "Let it out." I hear Dean grunt, his hands pulling my hair back and out of harms way. With one hand, he holds my dark hair while the other rubs my back soothingly. "You good now?" I nod once before shaking my head again and vomit again. And it hits me like a ton of bricks. The hunger. My head started to spin and my arms shook as I push back against the toilet. I hadn't eaten anything since arriving here.

"I'm hungry..." I croak, wiping my mouth with  wads of toilet paper.

"Well, I would hope so. You drank half the night and puked the rest." Dean commented, trying to make a joke, but the look on my face said it was not funny. He swallowed lightly and rubbed the back of his head. "What'dya want then?"

"I haven't eaten once since coming here." I simply state. His eyes go wide and he's up in an instant, picking me up and hauling me into the room to get dressed.

"Are you freakin' insane?! It's been three days, Lottie! You can't just starve yourself!" Dean shouts at me as I watch him pull on his boots. "Get your ass dressed, we're goin' to the diner and you're eating, dammit."

"You act like I did it purposely." I snap, slipping my feet into my shoes and standing up. My legs gave out. Dean catches me and stands me up straight, cupping my cheeks tenderly.

"Lottie, I know I acted like a dick. I deserve every ounce of anger you have, but you cannot just stop eating." He leans his forehead against mine and I'm grateful for the warmth it provides.

"I just forgot to, okay?" I urge, not wanting to talk about this any further. "Can we just go, please?"

The urgency in my tone must have saved me, because the next thing I knew, we were already half way there. My stomach growled something fierce. I've never been this hungry in my life. The small diner seems like heaven as Dean gets us to a booth and orders us big meals. I smiled slightly as I looked at my hands on my lap, glad he knew what I liked. The food came, and I ate. And ate. And ate. I ate until I satisfied that painful hunger twisting my stomach and settled comfortably, sated and ready for the day. "You good now?" He asks, crossing his arms over his chest. I nod silently and drink the rest of my water. "Are we.... good?"

God, that was the one question I did not want to answer. All the memories of last night seemed to stick with me, and I clearly recall Dean saying he loved me. I feel my face start heating up and I look out the window and at the Impala, biting my lower lip to stop the tears.

"Lottie." He calls, reaching over and grabbing my hand in his. I blink a few times to stop the tears. "You had every reason to react the way you did. I deserved every bit of it. I treated you like crap. And you're right. I did treat Cassie like she was more important than you. But this really is, just a case with her. You're the-"

"Would you stop?" I groan, covering half my face with one hand. "You can't just say things like this in the open..." Dean's  face lights up like the forth of July and he's immediately ten times more attractive in my eyes.

"I love you." He simply states, awestruck. I snatch my hand back and bury my head in my arms. Don't get me wrong, I was over the moon. Over Jupiter really, but I really did not expect any of this. And in my drunken state, I felt like I could hear those words at least a thousand times and not catch the emotions and sincerity in them. My stomach did flips and my heart banged against my rib cage as I tried to meet  his eyes. I wasn't used to being so.... shy. I'm Carlotta Bellway. Leather clad, tattoo'd and potty mouthed angel, but when Dean Winchester starts getting mushy, I'm reverted back to a teenager in high school.

I look up at him and self consciously tuck a lock of hair behind my ear and speak. "I love you too."

~*****~

Dean and I get back to the motel after agreeing with each other to tell Sam about the confessions after this case. Sam is sitting at the table, drinking coffee and reading the newspaper. "Morning drunky." Sam retorts, smirking a little as I throw my phone at him. It bounces off his arm and onto the floor. "Got another victim. Mayor Todd. Killed last night while you took care of Lottie." He says to Dean.

Dean chuckled and grabbed his jacket. "We should hit the crime scene." He smiles as I grab my clothes and change quickly. "You sure you're up to this?" He asks, grabbing a cup of coffee and pockets his keys.

"Yes. I'm fine now." I hum, shoving my feet into my boots. "Just needed some food."

"Okay, that's not even fair." Sam stated. We both looked at him awkwardly. "You drink a small liquor store and you don't even have a hangover."

"I actually just got over my hangover, Samuel." I quip, my lips twitching into a sly smirk. "You're just mad you can't drink as much as I."

"It's Sam. And I don't want to drink as much as you." He retorted, making me laugh. "Come on, let's go."

~*****~

Snow blanketed the field of the accident. Sam was currently speaking with the local cops while Dean and I hung back at the Impala, silently appreciating each others company. "So.... We're Sam's just gonna... Find out sooner or later." Dean commented. I rolled my eyes. 

"He knows we fool around." I hum, wrapping my arms around my frame. "God, it's cold."

"Well, come here." He smiles, pulling me onto his lap. I grunt and feel my face catch fire. Sam started towards us and I struggled to move, but Dean just tightened his arms. Sam just smirks and shakes his head.

"So, what happened?" Dean asks.

"Every bone crushed, internal organs turned into pudding. The cops are stumped. It's like something ran him over." Sam explained, relaxing on the Impala besides us.

"Something like a truck?"

"Yep."

"Tracks?"

"Nope."

"What was the mayor doing here anyway?" Dean asked.

"He owned property. Bought it a few weeks ago." Sam explained.

"But he's white, he doesn't fit the pattern."

"Killings didn't happen on the road. That doesn't fit either." Sam answered, shoving his hands into his pockets. We all just stared at the crime scene. Something didn't fit, but I couldn't seem to figure it out. This was going to be a weird case.