*

Forgive me,too
A faint voice,
I know you would miss,
Or perhaps not,
May be you heard,
Or may be not.

But you know, right,
There were things I could say,
Without hesitation,
I was told afterall,
I was more of a gangster,
And less of a girl.
And I know,
You know it too.

But hey, there was no one,
Who would know,
It better than us two,
How hard, oh how difficult
It's to tell what really hurts,
Where and how it hurts,
What really kills me from the inside, nor
A disease nor a fire, nor cure nor drowning emotions,
It was me,
And my love,
My lone thoughts.

I hope you know now,
That how difficult,
Oh how very painful it is,
To reach out,
When all you want is wrap yourself up
In the coziest of your blankets,
Lay your head upon
Your mother's lap,
And sleep and sleep forever.

How difficult it's to voice
These unending, spiralling
And mess of an emotion,
Into words, when it all but is choking up,
Cutting off the passage of air,
The passage of tears left within me,
And wanted me to sniff into cold destiny.

I hope you know now,
At least the tales, I couldn't tell before,
Even if you don't, that's alright,
I never really intended to tell you
Or perhaps I did
But I couldn't.

You know right, how difficult
It was for me, especially for me,
To be the one seeking help.
I was always the one,
Who let you cry on my shoulders,
Even when you never asked for it,
Because I knew you needed it.
But I couldn't have hoped for the same, right?

Since I was the one who stood up first,
Even when I didn't know what needed to be done,
I would always come to you all,
I knew somewhere, somehow you would need me to.
I was always the one who put up a fight,
Who never backed down,
Who pushed the guy, the girl too who
So much as looked at us wrong,
I was always the one who shut the adults up,
When they think of us much less
Than the humans we are.

And yet, I couldn't find it in me,
I couldn't find,
Nor the strength, nor the courage,
To seek your help,
To ask oh my friend,
I too needed a heart that
Would understand my beats,
I couldn't reach,
Because I was too scared,
For the sun to set,
And darkness to take a hold of that
Hand that I was reaching towards,
I am sorry I couldn't race,
Not against time but against this mind of mine,
I am so sorry I couldn't cry,
Because my voice all but was choked up
Under the veil of tears that
Spilled non stop.

I am so sorry.
Please forgive me.
Forgive your friend,
Because she walked ahead.

Please forgive this
Ungrateful friend of yours,
Who wanted to sail by herself,
Who wanted to see the end of this road,
Before you all,
Who couldn't speak nor ask,
So she had to take matters into her hand,
So she had to sail against the current of time,
So she had to bear all your curses,
So she had to forget these damn obstacles,
So she had to go ahead,
Because her time, she wanted to choose for herself.

*

Thank you so much for taking time to read the poem. Comments and kudos are highly appreciated. Have a great day ahead. Happy Wattpad journey. Stay safe. ♥️