| Devin's POV |

"...Then I left. I didn't want this relationship turning into my last one. I've learned the hard way to never let it get that far." Ricky explained through sniffles.

"You know Chris would never hurt you the way Jani did, but Jani did have better concepts about your boundaries. Chris... doesn't. He doesn't really care about anyone's boundaries." I replied.

"You're telling me." Shiloh muttered. I gave him a strange look and he shrugged. "What? I'm not going to pretend like my relationship with him never happened. Chris wants what he wants when he wants it. He'll destroy anything or anyone that gets in his way."

I sighed. "I know. Look, Ricky, if you guys want to cancel on the trip, Shiloh and I are fine going alone. You can stay at our place while we're gone." 

"No, no. It's okay. We're still going to go but, I don't know what I'm going to do. Maybe this trip is what we're going to need to reconnect. I don't really know much anymore. We'll see." He stammered out. 

"Do you want to stay here tonight?" I asked. 

"No. We have such an early flight and all my things at back at the house. It's better if I head home." Ricky replied. "I should get going before the snow gets any worse on the roads." 

I stood up with him. "Drive safe. And, promise you will call if it gets to be too much?" 

He weakly smiled. "I will." 

"Seriously, I don't care what time it is. If he hurts you in any way-"

"Dev, I got it." Ricky reassured me. He pulled me into a hug. "Thank you, both, for everything." 

Shiloh stole a hug from him as well, saying, "You know you always have a home with us."

~

| Chris' POV |

Don't ask what's going through my mind, because I don't know. I do love Ricky with all my heart but I can't ignore the fact that he still loves Jani. I always knew somehow, Jani would destroy what Ricky and I have built. How could Ricky love someone who hurt him so bad? And why can't he get over him already? He's been dead for five years. 

Ricky told me he won't marry me if I don't come to understand why he still loves Jani. I don't know if I can marry him if he doesn't get over the prick. How can I spend the rest of my life with someone who loves another? With all my thoughts so crazy, I needed someone who would help me sort them out. There was only one person who would understand all of this. 

I called up Kuza, pleading for him to help me out. He agreed to meet me down at the town diner for late night coffee. Thankfully this place stays open twenty-four/seven. I hadn't seen Mike since the night I purposed to Ricky. We needed to catch up anyways. 

"I know you didn't call me for coffee at eleven o'clock at night for no reason." He said as I watched him slip a little alcohol into his cup. 

"Really?" I scoffed. 

"What? Hey, I promised December I'd cut back a lot on drinking. I gotta sneak it when he's not around. Now, why did you call? What's wrong?" He asked.

I sighed. "I called you because, being with December, I knew you were the only one who would understand this. Ricky and I got into a huge fight, because he still hasn't gotten over Jani." 

"Oh, yeah. You definitely called the right person." He bitterly smiled. "Why do you think December asked me to cut back on drinking? Jani. He doesn't want me to be like Jani. I can't tell you how many times we've gotten into fights because of fucking Jani. Lord rest his soul, but even from the grave he's tearing us apart."

"I just don't know how I can marry someone who still loves someone else." I confessed, as selfish as it may be. 

"It was hard for me to realize how scarred December was because of his brother. I mean, Jani abused him, got him hooked on drugs and alcohol, forced him into a life a crime. Yet he still loved his brother and if I ever spoke a bad word about him, he'd defend him." 

"Ricky does the same thing!" I replied. 

"I'm glad to know it's not just me." He muttered. "There's something about Jani that I guess they saw and we never did. I've tried to understand it and I can't. I just need to accept that... Just because December couldn't learn to forget his brother, that doesn't mean he doesn't have room in his heart for me. I had to put myself in his position. Jani was all he had for almost his whole life. Even with the abuse, I would find it hard to get over the death of my only friend."

"You're right... you're right." I huffed. "Why do you have to be right?" 

Kuza lightly chuckled. I know this is selfish of me, but how the Hell am I supposed to get past all this? I want to be Ricky's one and only. I want to feel like I'm his one true love, not the option he was forced to pick because his other option died. I just want to feel loved... And he's the only one that gives me love like no other.