| Devin's POV |

Ryan opened his apartment door, and I heard Jax telling Bella we were home. I dropped my bags at the door to catch her as she ran towards me. Bella ran into my arms, and I hugged her tightly.

"I missed you." I told her happily.

"I missed you, too, daddy." She replied as she hugged my tighter.

"Were you good for Jax?" I asked, looking over to him.

He smiled. "She's a perfect angel." Jax walked over to us as I stood up. "How was your flight?"

"Good, smooth. I'm just so happy to be home." I responded, then got a hug from him. "Thank you, again, Jax."

"You're welcome, Devin. Anything for you."

I sighed as I glanced down at Bella. "We should talk about, us, soon."

"I've got time now." He shrugged.

"Um, okay. Why don't you come with me while I unpack?"

"Yeah, sure." Jax replied, but his tone had become somber. He realized I didn't want to talk about something good.

"I'm going to get started on dinner." Ryan said as we headed towards the bedroom. "Bella Bean, you wanna help me?"

She very happily agreed and I smiled as I saw her follow him to the kitchen. Bella loved Ryan so much. It was that unconditional love. Those two words... made me think of Shiloh. Damn it. I thought I could get over him but I just can't. I've always been the king of holding grudges. Then he came along... With those puppy dog eyes... damn it.

Jax followed me back to my bedroom. I threw my suitcase on my bed and started to pull my shit out. He sat down on the bed, looking around the room that he's seen a million times.

"Whah did you want to talk about?" He asked as his eyes landed on me.

"Us." I blurted out. "I mean... Yeah, us, whatever we are. I don't want you to get to attached to me."

His eyes widened. "I wasn't-"

"Yes, you are. We're business friends that slept together, which was a mistake. I did it in a little moment of anger towards my husband, but that's passed. I still love Shiloh."

"I understand." Jax quickly stood up, rushing out of the room as he said, "I was stupid to fall in love with a married man."

Love? Love? He doesn't know what it is! He's too young, and we haven't known each other that long. Then again, Shiloh and I barely knew each other when we got engaged. Maybe it's possible to fall in love that quickly. I know I just broke his heart too, but... I love Shiloh a million times more than I ever will Jax.

~2 Days Later~

My wake up call was Bella jumping on my bed. Normally I'd scold her for it, but I knew she was excited about today. I sat up in bed, grabbing her small hands as she jumped up and down.

"Daddy! Daddy! Guess what today is?" She was hyper!

I smirked. "Umm, Wednesday?"

"Daaad!"

"I'm just kidding." I laughed. "Of course I remembered! It's your birthday today!"

"That's right! I'm a big girl now!" She cheered.

Bella jumped down from the bed as she heard Ryan's bedroom door. I couldn't help but smile as I watched her run off. Then my smile faded as I realized, Shiloh would be missing Bella's fifth birthday. That's a huge milestone and he's missing it. I've got to trust he isn't lying to me about all this... it's hard to. That's all I can really say; it's hard to hold on.

~~

Chris, Angelo, and Vinny came over. Balz said he was "sick" but I doubt it's the flue. There's been something bothering him mentally. I'm just going to leave him be, unless it lasts too long. Of course, Ricky was in Seattle. It's weird not having them here, but I'm happy to see Ange.

Bella was overly happy to see him too. Now, that's really her favorite uncle. She loves Angelo more than me I think! They all spoiled her with gifts. We were in the middle of eating cake when Chris suddenly got up.

"I almost forgot! I have one more gift for her in the car." He said.

"You didn't give her enough?" I chuckled.

"This one's special!" Chris replied, running out the door.

Special? I couldn't possibly think what it is. Actually I had an inkling of an idea, but it was one of those things I was denying. Shiloh has been keeping in contact with Chris, and he would never forget Bella's birthday. Chris came back into the apartment with a package, closing the door with his foot.

He handed the box to me, saying, "There's something in there for you too."

I sighed and pulled the tape off of the sides of the box. On the top, there was a letter addressed to me. I didn't have to read it to recognize it was Shiloh's handwriting. I slipped the note in my pocket with plans to read it later. Then I saw two things under it. The first was a silk bag, which I knew he sent for me. The other was a stuffed animal.

I smiled and handed it to Bella. She couldn't run over to me fast enough to grab the little bat.

"Sweeney!" Bella squealed, hugging it as tight as possible.

That was her favorite stuffed animal. I forgot to pack it when we left California. She's been upset that we haven't had it. Which makes me wonder, did Shiloh head back to the house after I left? He's really left me with so many questions... And now, that letter is burning a hole in my pocket. I'm scared to read it.