My hands and legs went cold and utter shock took over me as I read about Sushant Sing Rajput's sudden demise, just yesterday I was watching Kedarnath you might say I am making this up but when I saw Sushant on Screen I thought which would be his next movie I smiled to myself and thought whichever it is going to be he would do an excelled job then sudden anxiety gripped me when I realized Sushant hasn't posted anything in a really long time it was strange because he used to post on a regular basis don't know why I had this small concern building up in me, I remember how tears welled up in my eyes when I saw him die in the climax scene I consoled myself by saying that it is just a movie, but today when I heard the news I had no words to console myself, as you all know just day before yesterday I posted a part of Badla 2 with his character in it don't know why I showed his character to be so sad in that story because I always wished that he will be forever happy for the past 4 years I have been working on a story with him as the main lead.

I was waiting for a perfect moment to tell you guys about this but not even in my wildest dreams I thought it would be a day like this. Just this morning I imagined him playing this character. I always dreamed of the time when this story will be an actual movie and he would star in it and I would be telling him how I fell in love with his acting from watching him on TV serials and later watching him in movies, how his  guest role as Sarfaraz in PK impressed me as much as any other role he played how I woke up at 4 just to watch his Debu movie Kai po che, how I spend days debating to myself which of his movies is more romantic Shudd daisy romance or Raabta to be honest I still don't know the answer.

I don't know why his demise hurt me so much is it because of this love I have for him or is it because I can relate to what he went through right before he died and I know how painful it had been for him as I just got over depression, I remember how I watched Chicchore during my depression and how it inspired me to move on but Sadly his own dialogues weren't enough to save him. Sometime back a group of people stopped me from saying a speech about depression not only that one of them publicly shouted at me for being depressed "No one wants to be with you because you are too depressing to be with" She said. Why do people take emotional and mental health so lightly, your one kind word can sometimes save someones life. I remember being depressed and begging everyone I see to talk to me but no one did ultimately I found solace in books and some really good wattpad friends, please don't miss that opportunity talk to everyone and anyone you can friend, lover or a stranger doesn't matter  just talk to them forward a helping hand. 

And even though it would be tough I am not going to moan for long I have to get my mind off this whole situation and move on I would keep on updating regularly as I used to because working calms me down, and Badla 2 will still star Sushant he would be the lead of Love heroin 2 as planned even though he couldn't do more movies he will stay alive in my fan fictions, although even If I get a chance to turn it into a movie I never will because I would never be able to find a replacement for him.