Elyse sits in her room, worrying her lip in between her teeth.

She misses Pax already.

Yesterday, after he refused to explain what he meant by that, Elyse hugged him, said, "Find me when you can be honest with me," and then left. They haven't seen each other since.

He has a game tonight. It's halfway done, and she's here, sitting in her room in her jersey and shorts, not cheering him on no matter how dirty the bleachers are.

Elyse sighs, grabs her phone, and walks to the lacrosse field. Just to see his face for a bit.

But in the midst of the chaos of the game, she can't find him. Can't find his number, can't find his last name.

Her phone buzzes.

Her blood runs cold, and then she turns around and sprints.

Oh, God, oh, God. She's mad at him and he gets into a fucking accident! Idiot, dumbass—

Elyse is crying once she gets there and slides the curtain open, not even registering the look of surprise in his face before she throws her arms around him, holding his head to her chest. "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God." He's alive, he's breathing.

"Elyse." Pax wraps one arm around her waist. "Hey, I'm fine—"

"What the hell are you doing here?!" she shouts, angry, so so worried, and she catches sight of his broken leg and the bandage on his head and fuck, she has snot all over her face but she doesn't care—"Why didn't you tell me you were in an accident, you dumbass!"

"My phone's fucking missing, I'm sorry," he rushes to say. "And then I passed out for a few minutes and I told them to contact you—"

Elyse cries harder.

"I'm fine, love, Jesus," Pax mutters, almost smiling, pulling her to him. Elyse sobs in his chest. "It's just a broken fucking leg, but my bike's totaled."

She doesn't even want to know how he got into an accident on his motorcycle, she's just happy it's broken so he doesn't have to ride it anymore.

"God, I hate you," she chokes out, hugs him tight, scooting to the edge of the bed. "I had a heart attack."

"I'm just fucking glad you weren't with me."

"Shut up." Elyse cups his face and kisses him.

When he brushes away all her tears, holding her hand, Pax says, "Imagine that. Elyse fucking Song dropped her designer bag on the floor for me."

She doesn't give a shit about that. Elyse drops her head on his shoulder and whispers, "Please don't scare me like that ever again."

"I fucking missed you."

Elyse huffs. Kisses his neck. "Are you going to tell me now?"

Pax pulls back and sighs, jaw tight. "I was on my way to you before the fucking game, but. Here."

He tosses the piece of paper on her lap.

Elyse's entire face pales. "Oh my God."

"Mm."

"Oh my God."

"Fucking same."

"Pax!" Elyse cries in horror, utter humiliation, her death—"You've had this all this time?! What the hell?!"

The corner of his mouth twitches. "Come here and I'll fucking kiss you. Give you what you want—"

"No!" Elyse covers her face with her hands and stands up. "I can't believe you—"

"Me?" He scoffs. "You were the one who wrote all that shit. You gave it to me. Imagine my fucking surprise when Elyse Song stumbles to me, drunk."

"Exactly: I was drunk! You shouldn't have read it!"

"It was impossible not to, love, it's in fucking bold."

"That's—that's why you said I can't get drunk! At the bar! You were watching my drinks!"

Pax grins, stroking her arm. "Yes, well, who knows what you'd do to me. Fucking stripped me?"

"I hate you!"

"OW, fuck!"

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Elyse winces and cups his face. She accidentally hit his leg. "I'm sorry, are you okay?"

"Kiss me and I fucking will be."

Elyse flushes. "I still hate you."

"Your letter says otherwise. You're horny—"

"I will leave you here—"

Pax pulls her down to him and kisses her.

He grins. "Now thank me."

Elyse hits him with the letter and he laughs out loud.

*

When Pax Sandejas comes to school limping with crutches, everyone looks at them because Elyse Song is trailing behind him in her high heels, carrying his things, not caring for her designer bag.

*

pax sandejas

ur hot ure so hot

scary but hot gorgoeus

wann a kiss u

so bad

have dreams abt it

im single btw

now

kiss uuuuuuuuuuu

pls pls pls

so horny for u

ksiss ksis kiss u

thank u if u do goodnyt

elyse song

*

She's in her last year in college and she won't see Pax Sandejas ever again after graduation.

With a little bit (see: a lot) of liquid courage from the stash Maya hid inside her room, she prints out her letter while her friend is asleep. She's sure Pax Sandejas gets a lot of letters and she wants hers to be the one he notices, so she folds it only once so the ink of the bolded letters bleeds and he reads it.

Elyse is stumbling out of her dormitory and she sees him downstairs. Thank God.

"Pax!" she screams.

He turns around slowly.

"Here." Elyse pushes the letter to his chest. "Goodnight."

And then she leaves, throws up in her bathroom, and crashes.

Elyse Song does not remember anything the next day.

*

i too would print out a letter demanding to be kissed and slap it on a sandejas boy's chest.