Johns P.O.V.

I watched as the oxygen left his body and the sparkle in his eye dulled...he stared at me blankly. Silently questioning why I would ever do that to him.

Whatever I told him, he wouldn't believe me, I had never wanted any of the boys to find out about my past with Patrick.

Roger most probably had the wrong end of the stick, he most likely thought I told Patrick that he wasn't my boyfriend so he'd think I was single...so we could see each other behind Rogers back.

But the single thought of doing that, or even seeing Patrick ever again made my stomach churn.

Roger would probably never understand that I denied our relationship to Patrick to protect him.

I could guarantee that if Patrick knew Rog was my boyfriend...he would make his life a misery.

But now Patrick knows...and Roger thinks I'm ashamed to have him as a boyfriend.

I was terrified for the both of us now. There was nothing stopping Patrick stalking us across America, threatening us. He would do that, I know that he would.

He wouldn't stop at anything to annihilate Roger and keep him away from me.

Which probably wouldn't be that difficult as Roger looked as if he didn't want to be near me at the moment.

I knew Patrick and his dirty moves, I knew he would snake his way into our business some way or another. It was just up to me to protect the both of us now.

"You don't understand..." I whispered, watching him as he was still stood staring at the ground.

If only I had the courage to tell him...but he didn't even know I had dated another man before. I know the situation right now looks bad but it would be nothing compared to how I'd feel telling Roger, or anyone, that I once went on a few dates with that man and he tried to lock me in his own house after accusing me of cheating on him when I hardly even knew the guy, we were never a thing. It was never real. But the terror Patrick caused me was very fucking real.

I already wanted to forget about it, forget tonight ever happened and forget he showed up again after all this time. I wanted those bad memories to be buried deep in the back of mind like they had been for all these years. But since he showed up uninvited, those memories had been dug up from their grave and were continuing to cause me mental turmoil just like they were back then.

Things had gone downhill rather rapidly tonight.

I wanted to go on as normal and love being in a relationship with my Roger. I wanted him to smile at me and tell me he loves me...but somehow...I feel like it's now going to be a while until that happens again.

Maybe I should phone the police. Tell them I am being stalked by a psycho who fails to leave me alone and threatens to exterminate everyone around me. Particularly my boyfriend.

But I had already dug myself into deep shit. Even if I did phone the police, I had physically told Patrick that I was not in a relationship with Roger and that was already something against my word. It made it look like I wanted to be with him over Roger.

"Come to bed..." I gave him a little smile as I threw back the duvet to make space for him.

But he didn't look at me, his face stone and his eyes pained, he floated about the room like a ghost, undressing and sliding his way into bed, I attempted to reach over to give him a kiss goodnight but he turned onto his side, his back to me and turned off the beside light...
I awoke the next morning to loud bangs on the hotel room door, waking me with a start and an instant panic as I looked over to see Roger not in the bed next to me.

I turned towards the door in which somebody was still loudly knocking on, my heart in my mouth as I had visions of it being Patrick.

What if he had snook in whilst we were asleep and had snatched Roger to keep him away from me...what if it was him knocking on the door now to taunt and tease me about what brutal things he's done to him.

Even though I was scared I climbed out of bed to look through the doors peephole and sighed a huge sigh of relief when I saw it was just Freddie.

I opened up the door, happy to see him until I realised he was looking extremely stressed and flustered.

"What the fuck are you doing, Deaks?! We're leaving now!" He said frantic.

"Leaving?" I questioned. Had Patrick made himself aware to our security team and they were scared for our safety so we were swapping hotels.

"Yes, John. Leaving. For the bus. To take us to our next fucking city. What the hell is going off up in here?" He tapped my head and bustled into my room with me, "Get dressed. I'll pack your shit." He sighed, heaving my suitcase onto the unmade bed.

I threw on an outfit that didn't match at all but I didn't care what with the mega rush we were in.

"Where's Roger?" I asked Fred.

"Down in the reception with everyone else where we've been waiting for you for the last half hour." Fred slightly giggled.

"What? Wh-why didn't he wake me up?!" I asked.

"He said he did..." Freddie raised an eyebrow, suspecting something was wrong. There was really no hiding anything from this man.

"He never! I didn't even hear him leave the room!" I exclaimed, frustrated and stressed.

"Well I did think it was rather odd when he came down to the reception without you..." the frontman pondered, that was his subtle hint or question asking me if we had had an argument. But I wasn't about to tell him what had happened.

I looked at him before not saying anything and tearing my eyes away.

"Who was the man, John?" Freddie nosily asked.

I began to get all hot and bothered, not wanting to talk about it. Just wanting to forget.

But Freddie eyes bore through me so much that I felt as if I had no other option but to give him some kind of answer.

"H-He's nobody. Just a friend..." I lied. He was nothing to me and far from a fucking friend. He was vermin.

He nodded slowly, sucking on his teeth until he opened his mouth again after zipping up my suitcase for me and lifting it down off the bed, "A friend who you hide your relationship from?" He said quietly.

I froze and could feel his stare. Of course. Of course Roger would go spouting this to Freddie. He could never just keep anything to himself could he, always had to spread our business to people whom it didn't concern. Why couldn't he just deal with his feeling himself like I had to all the time. Why did he had to go running off to somebody like a helpless, pathetic child.

"It's nothing to do with you." I replied, uptight and irritated.

His eyes widened as I'd never been so defensive with him before, "I understand it's your business, dear. But Roger is extremely upset and rightly so." He said, cautiously

I span around and walked up to him, "Yes. I know, Freddie. Do you think I enjoyed saying that he wasn't my boyfriend? It's complicated. I'm dealing with it." I grabbed my suitcase and started to leave the room, leaving Fred to lock up and run after me to catch up.

"Whatever the fuck is going on, John, you can talk to me about it. You know I'll help!" He finally caught me up, "And to be quite frank, I'm getting pretty tired of Roger coming to me with all of his problems all the time..."

I softened a little at his last sentence, so I wasn't just imagining things and blowing thing out of proportion, Roger really did go and tell Freddie everything. And even he was fed up of it.

"I know, I'm sorry. I just need to sort this out on my own. And I'm sorry about him, too. I don't understand that if he can talk to you about everything, why can't he talk to me?"

We finally got to the rest of the group where I sincerely apologised for being late after Rog certainly did not wake me up this morning and left me to wake up late and look like a fool.

It was payback, I knew it was. He'd done it on purpose.

I looked for him through the crowd of us and saw him smoking a cigarette, already outside.
"Hey..." I walked up to him with a forced smile on my face.
Yet he blanked me, completely ignored me and pretended I wasn't there.

I felt my heart crush a little as he walked away and over to somebody else, laughing and smiling with them...yet he looked right through me.

I had hoped that we'd both wake up this morning having already forgotten about what had happened last night, act as if nothing had ever happened and go on as normal. But clearly not.

I know me and Rog have had some arguments in the past but none of them quite felt as serious as this.

Myself and the other three boys, along with Jim and a few bodyguards and the driver piled onto the bus, I saw Roger at the back, already sat down and I made my way over. Yet when I got closer, the spare seat next to him was occupied by his bag...he obviously saw me standing there, waiting for him to move his bag so I could sit next to him, but he never moved it. I got the message quite clearly. He didn't want me near him. So I turned around and sat at the front of the bus near to Freddie and Brian who were sat next to each other looking all cute.

It was the first time that I had looked at them and envied what they had. They looked genuinely happy and like they loved being around each other...a dire opposite to how my own relationship was going right now...if you could even call it that anymore.