{naruto}

At six-oh-one p.m. Naruto checked the eye hole wondering why Sasuke was late. As it turned out, the man wasn't late. He'd simply been standing for sixty seconds, staring at the door.

He ran a hand through his hair and then stared some more. He messed with his hair again before he paused midway, probably realising that it wasn't going to look different from the way it always did and that he was just stalling.

Naruto figured he'd let Sasuke knock at his own time. So Naruto went about gathering his jacket, wallet, phone and keys.

At six-oh-seven, Naruto checked his watch and then the eyehole again with a frown. Why is he standing about looking all nervous? What's there to be so nervous about? What if there is something to be nervous about? Should I be nervous?

Naruto rolled his eyes and quashed the internal panic that was worming its way in and jerked the door open to face the pale man. He leant against the door and smiled at Sasuke.

Blond hair was still dripping water onto the towel that was around a tan neck for that very purpose; Sasuke's eyes were immediately riveted to every little stream and droplet.

"I see you still have trouble using doors," Naruto said in lieu of a greeting, a smirk on his lips. "That's okay, babe, we'll work on it."

When Sasuke's reply was simply to blink and nod, Naruto rolled his eyes again, in bemusement as he reached out and pulled the man in by his left wrist.

"Relax, these whiskers don't mean I bite... hmm, actually, that's up for debate." Sasuke broke into a smile at that and Naruto internally cheered at the break in the solemn mood. "Ah, another argument about fine details you'd like to have with me?"

Sasuke pulled the blond man close once they were in the living room, wrapping his arms around him and holding on in silence, his cheek to Naruto's chest. Naruto took the hint and hugged back, going quiet as they simply embraced for a while.

"I missed you." Naruto's eyes widened slightly but instead of waiting for a reply Sasuke continued. "I missed you so much it's ridiculous. You even haunt my dreams"

"Dreaming of me in an attempt to spend time with me?" Naruto cracked a smile, the small genuine one with an apology clear in his tone. "I've been too busy. I know. I'm sorry."

"I spent three days in the library and three days out of the library, trying to study, but all I actually did was leave newly made flash cards everywhere and miss you," Sasuke admitted, his tone ever so serious.

Their fronts perfectly aligned in the embrace since Naruto was wearing those pumped up kicks with soles that make you float. He chuckled and rubbed Sasuke's back, hoping his inability to handle this moment wasn't obvious. "Did you count each flash card with, 'he loves me, he loves me not'?"

"Hmmmmm, well, now that you mention it..." Sasuke began thoughtfully. "I think I remember encountering some lovely orange flowers this past week..."

Naruto pulled away, holding Sasuke an arm's length away, hands on his shoulders. Eyes blown wide like saucers. "That was you!"

"Obviously. What, are you hiding another suitor I don't know about?" Sasuke frowned a bit after asking.

"Pft, yeah right." Naruto snorted at the idea dismissively.

A pause then he looked at Sasuke through amber lashes. A curl at the corners of his lips, trying to downplay his flattered smile. "I looked up what they mean."

"Oh?" Sasuke smirked, simply drinking in every inch of the expression on the face in front of him, including the whiskers that weren't hidden from him anymore.

"You know what they mean, don't you?" Naruto asked softly, letting his hands roam up and down the back slowly, hoping to ease the underlying tension there. The rough quality of his voice making the low tone sound even more intimate.

"Of course I do, even though I did choose them by sight." Sasuke placed his hands on Naruto's hips, holding on lightly.

"Remembrance." Naruto reached out and tugged at a lock of Sasuke's bangs in imitation of the move the dark-haired man had affectionately carried out several times before. "And... passionate love?"

Sasuke shrugged. "Tiger lilies are very you, in my opinion."

Naruto laughed and kissed him softly, so softly. "I never thought I'd receive flowers and be happy about them." He led Sasuke to the couch, making him take a seat. "Suitors...Who even says that? Weirdo."

"Well--" Sasuke didn't get far with his reply because Naruto cut him off and at the same time a big black animal was up on the couch beside him, sniffing his ear and hair and shoulder with a wet nose. The tail behind him was swinging in excitement.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, insert a roundabout way of you implying how weird is necessary to like me." Naruto sat down next to Sasuke and the dog climbed over Sasuke to sit in Naruto's lap.

Sasuke smiled at the sight, the gigantic lapdog was on his back in Naruto's lap, his tail was wagging wide arcs as Naruto held him like a big baby. He offered Kurama his hand hoping that conveying amity in this good mood would bring him on the hound's nice-list. Was this the same pup that looked like a vicious hell-hound last time?

"No, Naruto, not to imply the necessity of weirdness, but it somehow supplements an effortlessness to my natural reaction to you." He couldn't help his smile at having turned Naruto's self-deprecation on its head.

Naruto laughed, the sound made Kurama barked excitedly and nipped softly at Sasuke's hand. "Well, then, looks like we're both going to the mental institute if we make it to eighty. Hey, maybe we can be roommates then!"

There was a drop in the banter and Naruto's toes dug into his shoes with anticipation.

"I had a dream about you," Sasuke said softly, his dark eyes brimming with an unexplained sadness. Naruto could hear the underlying strain in Sasuke's voice.

"Oh, what kind of dream? Was I strip pole-dancing while simultaneously surfing on an intergalactic lavafall?" Naruto asked with good-humour as he snuggled to Sasuke's side in a way that implied he's missed that man's body heat.

Sasuke pulled Naruto against him, making sure that Naruto's right side was pretty much completely in contact with Sasuke's left side. Naruto couldn't tell if Sasuke was trying to take physical comfort or offer it. Either way, Sasuke wrapped an arm around him and his hand clenched at the fabric on Naruto's shoulder.

"No, that would be a great, great improvement for my imagination." Sasuke ran his right hand through freshly-showered, blonde hair. Seemingly satisfied to be able to touch it and see the subtle glow of it even when it was looking more like damp sand. The texture too imitates wet sand, clinging to skin softly until forced to let go.

He ran his hand through the hair a couple of times then tugged just enough to get a soft acknowledging grunt from Naruto. "And it was me who was on an epic adventure, on a lavafall...of rage."

"Why rage?" Naruto mumbled. His eyes were closed as Sasuke continued to play with the gilded locks, separating them to air them out.

"Remembered rage and supposed pain."

"Hmm, suppressed pain?" Naruto cracked a single eye open and slanted a look at Sasuke's grave face.

"I have done horrible things and not just when I was working with criminals." When Sasuke turned to look at Naruto the blond man looked down to see Kurama, bored with the inattention, leave to entertain himself elsewhere.

"I know." he replied at last.

Sasuke sighed heavily. "I just--"

Naruto turned immediately and grabbed Sasuke's torso in a surprise hug. Blue eyes when they met black ones were burning with intensity.

"You can't let the past define you, Sasuke. Your present and future are in your hands. Even you can't control what happens."

"But I can control my actions!" Sasuke lobbied. "I did do all the things I did. It was still me."

"Yeah, and you can make sure it doesn't happen again if that's what you want." Naruto narrowed his eyes and surged forward so he was all up in Sasuke's face, hands pressing down on Sasuke's left thigh so that they were practically nose to nose. "You can also learn from the past. You choose to repeat what you think is good, choose to abstain from what you think is bad...that is... if you want to define everything in a dichotomy. Whatever the case, you learn, with time, to live with the past and choose the future over it."

When Sasuke couldn't find a reply he shoved Naruto's face away, making potent blue eyes look somewhere else. The intense gaze was making Sasuke's cheeks burn.

"You know all this, why are you angsting all over the place?" Naruto held on, only shifting a few times to rid himself the hand on his face. If the squirming was any indication, Sasuke's emotionally distraught state happened to shift Naruto to vibrate mode. "It's making me build up with nervous energy."

Sasuke paused long enough to amuse himself with another uneasy squirm from Naruto. When wet hair brushed his cheek as Naruto moved close, right into his space bubble again, Sasuke pressed his cheek against Naruto's neck, pulling the blond into his lap completely.

Naruto, who had been leaning excessively against Sasuke's torso and chest, all but fell into Sasuke's lap. "It's just that...I dreamt that I hurt you and that you were willing to let me."

Naruto couldn't move much, Sasuke had wrapped his arms around the tanned man - his arms were trapped against his sides so all he could manage was to awkwardly pat Sasuke's hips on either side in an attempt to comfort. "That's okay, you did not though. Not really. See you can feel me and I am not hurt."

"No, you don't get it... you, you were possessed and you made me carve into you... with a scalpel." Naruto's breath stuttered and Sasuke held him tighter. "It was the worst."

Naruto squirmed again, forcing himself to remain unaffected. "I can imagine. But see, it was just a dream. A product of fear and pain."

"I can't help imagine the things he must have done to you."

"Shit. Hey, c'mon, you, you-- Don't worry about that so much." Naruto shrugged around until he could get his arms free. He held onto the fair face and looked into the dark eyes that somehow looked at him with want. "It made me stronger, okay? And it wasn't that bad, I have a high pain tolerance and I got out alive. Which is the best ending by far."

"No, the best ending would have been if it had never happened at all." Nails dug into Naruto's sides. Sasuke's face pressed against his neck again. "He could have killed you. "

"I had nothing to lose at that point anyway, Sasuke. Living was like dying. And dying... was a tempting release. Fuck, that is not helping right now. See, it turned out okay! And I gained so much. Sakura and I got out of there and she's been like a little sister to me. And the other kids are all fine too, I keep an eye on 'em."

Sasuke gaped at him for a hot second. Then his tongue poked at his own cheek for a second as he digested the fact he was coming to understand.

He ripped away from Naruto, dropping him on the couch. He put physical distance between them because he was beginning to gather that if he hadn't brought up the dream Naruto would never have told him anything. "You knew what he did? And you still went? Willingly?"

"Yeah," Naruto confirmed as he frowned up at Sasuke who was standing up and looking down at Naruto with a sharp angle. "But, but things are different now. I have a version of family, I have Grandma and Sakura and Gaara and Kurama and...you. Now that I've met you, even death won't separate us."

"Yeah, put a pause on that death do us part thing for a second. How old were you?"

"Th- thirteen."

"Right after the Fox Fire thing?"

"Mm, yes."

"So much for revelations."

"Revelations?"

"I asked for answers, Naruto. I want to know your past."

"Why does my past matter?"

"Are you fucking kidding me? For context! You might not be what you do, but you're sure as hell affected by it. It makes you who you are. You could have some trauma I don't know that I could be unknowingly feeding."

"No."

"What do you mean no?" Sasuke threw his hands around in exasperation and an affectionate resentment he felt bubbling specially for Naruto.

"Just no. I don't deal with things like that. I accept, and store, and then express...it's why I paint and act and work out. Sasuke you don't have to take care of me or fix me or tiptoe around me. I'm tough. I'm different. Atypical. A special case. And that can be a good thing or a bad thing. But you don't need to get worked up about it. You will come to know things with time. It's how this whole relationship thing goes. Don't...don't rush it. Because, well, I can't keep up with that."

Sasuke looked at Naruto still sitting on the couch, his eyes blown wide with some revelation Naruto was not privy to. Sasuke blinked a couple of times. "You don't deal with things like that? What do you do? Lock 'em in the attic?"

Those words were fighting words to Naruto, taunting, suggesting the residence of a world of maladies in Naruto's head and they were ticking him off.

He took a moment to remind himself that he had chosen - on the day he'd won the drinking challenge - that he was now a lover, not a fighter.

"I'll tell you what I told Sakura. I think that it is okay for me to avoid things until I'm sure I'm emotionally ready to face them. And I am not ready yet." Naruto stated simply, even though his face was broken up in confused frown lines and worry.

Sasuke took a deep breath to calm down then nodded. "Okay." He narrowed his eyes at Naruto. "Okay, okay, but I am warning you now that I just added a nag-Naruto-to-get-therapy day to my monthly calendar."

Naruto made a surprised noise that sounded like a sudden explosive sneeze but was actually a soft, glad, teary laugh. "I can live with that." He nodded, pulling Sasuke to situate him between his knees, running his hands up Sasuke's sides.

"So, you went to him?" Sasuke paused for an answer and he received a nod.

"And you let him carve you up?" Naruto's shoulders hitched up slightly in defence and he dipped his head in a nod. He took a quick gulp too. His damp hair, teary eyes and slight pout making him look like a sorry, wet poodle.

"With intentions of saving other kids? Kids your age?"

"Yeah. But it worked." Naruto's voice sounded like a creaking door even to him. "The road to hell is paved with good intentions, eh?"

"Naruto, are you absolutely retarded?"

Naruto squawked with outrage, then he grabbed Sasuke by the denim belt loops and shook him. "Excuse me?! Where do you get off asking - more like attacking - me with questions of the past and then judging me about them anyway? Especially after all the understanding I've given you. Now stop giving me that annoyed look and sit the fuck down."

With that he yanked Sasuke down into his lap. "I was a teenager who'd been raised by drug traffickers, and thieves and information brokers. That's not a sob story, you don't need to feel bad for me or anything, it gave me nerves of steel. I could be slowly bleeding out into my body - haemorrhaging or whatever - but I still wouldn't bat an eyelid until I'm physically incapable of doing so. So yes, I broke out a few kids from a mini-Auschwitz and I'd do it again... If it hadn't burned down... Which I'm starting to guess you had something to do with."

"Naruto that's not-- You were a kid! And there are people whose job that is. People who understand the risks and the--"

"Those people never come, you know that. It's why my boyfriend is an ar-- Uh, alleged arsonist. I have to admit that that's pretty cool, in a messed up way."

"Naruto!"

"Sasuke!" Naruto sighed. "Look, I'm not saying it was a great idea. I know it wasn't smart or safe. But I thought I could do it, so I did it. And that's the end of that. It's a bit late to be discussing its pros and cons. Can we maybe have a nice dinner where we focus on the present and future? And go back to bartering past information tomorrow? I just want to take you to this cute games and pet-friendly tap-room place I found."

Sasuke scowled, making obvious that he caught the change in topic and that he didn't want to stop consuming every detail of Naruto's past, but, he gave in anyway. "What, you didn't cook for me?"

"I burned the oven mitts when I tried to bake us a simple Au Gratin earlier today. So I decided that we don't cook in this house anymore." Naruto informed him readily. Sasuke rubbed at his own face then laughed softly into his hands. He leant in then and stole several kissed from Naruto.

"Alright then. We can pause."

"Great, so about the death do us part pause I've been wanting to bring up."

"You think you're so charming."

"Pfff, what? Me? Charming? Not at all. I only say what comes to my mind, I can't help that it comes out smooth as fuck."

"Naruto--"

"Get wrecked, Sasuke."

"Stop--"

"Better yet," Naruto dipped his head closer, "Let me wreck you."

"Naruto. You always propose incredibly delightful suggestions but we never seem to go through with them."

Naruto smiled, all wide, toothy and wily. "Told you, dinner first."

With that Naruto stood up, making Sasuke grab at him with a squeak and hold on tight like an arboreal. He was holding Sasuke up with ease, barely any strain in him as he walked them to the front door. "If you play your cards right, you might see my bedroom."