35. Reminisce

Now that he didn't have to hide, Jungkook felt better about everything. His mother had made sure to welcome him in with open arms; telling him repeatedly to make himself feel at home. That evening was one of the most relaxing ones that Jungkook had in a while. He enjoyed a great meal with even greater friends. By the time it was time for bed, Jungkook had spread out a sleeping bag on the floor of his bedroom. Taehyung and Laylin got in their positions on the bed like the other night; the comforter barrier between them. They didn't want to raise any suspicions by rearranging sleeping arrangements, especially when they were going home tomorrow. Taehyung fell asleep right off; his face facing the wall. Jungkook couldn't sleep though. As he laid on his back with his eyes facing the moon streaked ceiling, he noticed that Laylin couldn't either when her hand danced across his arm.

Jungkook turned his head away from the ceiling so that his eyes could stare at Laylin. Laylin looked back at him as her fingertips stayed where they were.

"You should be sleeping," whispered Jungkook.

"So should you," whispered Laylin back with a small smile.

Jungkook looked at her for a moment before holding her hand gently. He linked their fingers together.

"Do you want me to tell you a bedtime story?" he asked.

"Yes," she said. "Please."

He smiled, humoring her by softly telling her a story. By the time he was finished, her hand was slack in his and he could see that she was sleeping.

Jungkook laid there and watched Laylin sleep for a while, but was still unable to sleep himself. His eyes shifted from her face to look at their joined hands linked together in the moonlight. His mind was still racing from the admission they had shared earlier and the passionate kiss that had followed. Jungkook had never felt so complete and yet incomplete at the same time. Being trapped in someone else's body to experience his first kiss with Laylin was never how he thought it would go. He knew too that she said that she saw him for him, but he wanted to be himself again.

Gently untangling his fingers from Laylin's, he delicately let her hand drop before standing up, grabbing up his cell phone to turn on the flashlight. The entire house was silent, so Jungkook figured that it would be safe to sneak downstairs to the kitchen to make himself some warm milk. He remembered that - when he was about eight or nine and had trouble sleeping at night for a while - his mother would always sneak him down to the kitchen where he'd sit at the table in his pajamas while she sang a song. She'd make him the warm milk as she sang before sitting down near him to tell him a story while he drank it. Even though he wasn't a child anymore, the memory of it all brought him comfort. He wanted that back. Heck, he wanted his life back.

Jungkook tip-toed quietly into the kitchen, casting the cell phone about the stairs so he would trip. When he reached the kitchen, he flicked on the light above the stove before shutting the flashlight app off and putting his phone on the table. He then went about as quietly as he could to make himself the warm milk he craved. As he did, he felt the emotions he'd been trying to suppress bubble up inside him. Jungkook tried to chalk it up to it just being an emotional day. He blinked back tears as he turned from the stove to go to the fridge to grab the milk to pour into the pan. He paused when he stood back upright from the fridge and saw his mother standing there.

He froze like a deer in headlights; the two of them just looking at each other for a moment.

"I...um...sorry," said Jungkook who immediately turned to put the milk on the cupboard. "I just couldn't sleep. I'll go back upstairs and try to though..."

He bent his head down to look at the floor and was about to try to move past her when she reached out a hand to gently restrain him.

"You don't have to leave. I told you to make yourself at home, so you can go back to what you were doing."

When she saw that Jungkook wasn't replying but was keeping his head towards the ground, she bent her head to look at his face and noticed the tears in his eyes.

"Oh honey! Are you okay?"

Jungkook was without words, but none needed to be said. His mother's motherly instincts took over as she directed him towards the table, having him take a seat before picking up where he left off.

"You were trying to make some warm milk, weren't you?"

She turned just enough to see him nod his head. Without another word, she turned back around to do it for him, humming as she did. The humming brought Jungkook back and set the tears that had been brimming in his eyes free and silently tracking down his face. When she was done, she brought the glass over to him, watching as he quickly brushed the tears away with the backs of his hands.

"Thank you," Jungkook said, bowing his head in thanks in her direction before taking a drink.

She pulled up a seat across from him, shaking her head.

"You don't have to thank me. I don't mind. Reminds me of what I used to do for my son when he was little."

He gave a faint smile as he put the glass down, looking over at her. She looked back at him, seeing the hurt in his eyes.

"I know you're not my son, but you can talk to me if you need to," she said.

Those words hurt Jungkook more than he expected, especially after what Taehyung told him at the beach earlier today. He felt the tears stinging his eyes again, racing down his cheek as he failed to swallow them back down.

"Oh sweetie," said his mother, reaching a hand across the table to grab one of his hands. He clung tightly to it back. "What is it?"

Jungkook found himself having to desperately fight the urge to just tell his mother everything. He continued to hold her hand tightly.

"I don't want to be this person anymore," he said in an attempt to be as honest as possible.

"Why not?"

"I just...I want to be me," he said.

"Well then be you. I understand you are a famous singer, but that doesn't mean you have to pretend to be someone you're not. Be who you are and don't be ashamed of it. That's what I always tell my son."

Jungkook smiled a thin smile at her as he kept a hold of her hand. He appreciated those words, and realized now more than ever how lucky he was to have her as a mother. After that advice, Jungkook felt more collected and wanted to try to take advantage of the opportunity that presented itself, choosing his next words carefully.

"He told me though that he isn't really your son."

"Ah, so he told you."

Jungkook nodded.

"I didn't realize he had another close friend to confide in aside from Laylin," she said before continuing, "But yes. I told him that I found him and adopted him. He is my son though regardless of that. I couldn't love him more."

"And you don't remember the woman that left him behind?"

"No," she said.

Jungkook sighed. He loved his mother dearly, but he wished she could remember. He wanted the answers so he could at least face his biological mother once and demand answers. As he pulled himself from such thoughts, he noticed that his mother was still staring at him intensely. When she realized that he had caught her staring, she immediately snapped out of it.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I don't mean to be studying you. I just...I can't stop thinking you look familiar. Like I've seen you before somewhere only younger."

That puzzled Jungkook. When would she have seen Taehyung younger? He knew that Taehyung's parents had been forcing him to earn money basically his entire life. Maybe she had seen him in some sort of television ad before. Yet there was something inside of Jungkook that compelled him to grab the cell phone off the table. He opened up a tabloid page to a picture of Taehyung's mother from dinner the other night. He then laid the phone on the table so his mother could see the picture clearly.

"Have you seen this woman before?" asked Jungkook.

His mother turned from him to look at the picture displayed on the cell phone screen. He knew there was a chance that she'd say that she saw them online, but then again she hadn't recognized Taehyung right off. He watched as she furrowed her brows before she looked back up at him.

"Who is this woman to you?"

"She's my mother," said Jungkook, trying to keep up his facade before repeating, "Have you seen her before?"

It was then that he saw a light come to his mother's eyes as a revelation hit her.

"I think I do recognize that woman," she said. "She's a bit older now, but I'm pretty sure that is the woman that left Jungkook at the fish restaurant."

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