"What would you do, if i turned away?"

The question isn't surprised her as much as she thought it would be. She kind of has the feeling Otoha was going to ask something related to it, seeing how she's been struggling about the topic. Despite that, Chizu has no answer yet, not sure whether she will has a proper answer which satisfy Otoha. It's not a light topic. Wrong answer, and Otoha might actually leaving.

"I won't let you."

"Think you can stop me?"

"I'll stalk you everywhere."

"I'll lock the goddamn door before your dumb head can even think."

Chizu chuckles lightly, glad because Otoha can react more than usual. It's been a few days since she barely responds to Chizu's words, let alone retorts back. Chizu kind of missed her foul mouth.

"Still, i won't let you turn away."

Otoha said nothing in return. Her eyes which staring beyond the horizon seems cold, as cold as the autumn breeze caressing their faces. She noticed the change in Otoha's behaviour quite a while, even though she has no idea how to approach her properly.

'She doesn't look like a hero.'

Chizu has been hearing those words came out from people's mouth behind Otoha's back, spontaneous comments and talks with no malice, sometimes barely a murmur and incoherent mumbling yet clear enough to be heard from certain distance, and she's sure Otoha just acting like she didn't care. Once or twice, she would brush them off. Few times a week, it's getting hard to ignore. Chizu couldn't help but feel annoyed even though it didn't directed towards her. Otoha, on the other hand, not even spare a look or glance, acts like she has no fuck to give left. But Chizu knows the truth. She cares. She cares too much, she doesn't mind putting on an evil facade for that.

"You're not thinking of leaving for real, are you?"

"......Not really."

The uncertainty in her voice is impossible to missed, Chizu noticed without the need to look at her face.

"This world.... Is not as bad as you think, Otoha. Not everyone is against you."

"I know. I blame no one either."

"But it crossed your mind, right? Things like.... Being out of place and such."

Otoha doesn't reply.

"You have a place, okay? You have people who cares about you, people who have your back even if you think you don't need it."

".......Mm."

"It's not like you have no idea about, right?"

"Yeah...."

"Then.... Will you tell me why?"

Another silence took over. There's no change in Otoha's gestures; eyes locked on the sunset, hands gripping the already cold cup of tea, as her body stand still. Only her chest heaves up and down following her breathing, blows out her cold, calm breath statically. The dry blood stained on her clothes has changed color, and her bruised skin hasn't touch any treatment. Chizu wonders if it's a good idea to let her with her mind like this, or forcibly brought her to infirmary.

"What do you think of today's case?"

"What? Hmm...." Chizu tapping her finger on her own cup, "It's unfortunate."

"You think?"

"That kid only wants to be dependable. It's unfortunate that he met the wrong person."

"Hmmm."

"What about you? What do you think?"

"It's his own fault. He chose to side with them and live a thug life."

"....Not everyone lucky enough to found the right person, Otoha."

"Agree. Doesn't mean one won't be responsible over their own choices."

Chizu went silent. Otoha's strictness and cold judgement is getting stronger in the past year. It's not wrong, but her lack of apathy will hinder her soon, as the field where they put their lifeline is a symbol of sympathy and kindness. Chizu is aware that her ways of showing her kindness is different, yet still...

Otoha sighs. She can tell, even without looking, that Chizu is not actually agree with her way of thinking. She's aware that she has turn cold and strict, just the way her father raised her to be, as much as she wants to deny it. It bugs her how she despise her father's teaching, yet slowly turned exactly like what he wished. Despite not taking everything he taught blindly, his hardness is impossible to brush off, bit by bit started rubbing her mind like a deadly plaque.

'I'm not fit to be here, i know.'

She wonders what is holding back from actually snapping, halfly understand halfy refused to acknowledge that she, in fact, needs reassurance that she is not a bad person. She never think herself as good and kind, but it never hits her just how bad and evil she actually is, until she heard how the citizen voicing out their thoughts about her.

The feeling of not actually hate her father for making her this way annoyed her even more. It'll be much easier if she hates her father, to put the blame on him for her incapability, to have the scapegoat for the numbness she feels towards gentle kindness. Yet the more she thinks about it, the more she realised everything is her own responsibility and no one is to blame.

It hurts her to know she won't be able to hear what she want to hear the most, being said to her.

"If i'm ended up leaving--"

"I won't let you."

"Ifs."

".....I'll chase after you. I'll keep looking for you no matter how long it takes, no matter what kind of paths i need to make."

"That's not a really hero talk."

"I'm your friend before i'm a hero."

"......"

"I'll catch you as a hero, but i'll bring you back as a friend."

"Tough job."

"Dealing with certain foul mouth blessed with balloon boobs is never easy." Chizu shrugs nonchalantly and finished her tea, "Let's go to infirmary. You needs to be treated."

"Mm. Later." Otoha sip her cold tea, "The sunset from this spot is the best view."

Chizu turned around, watching the sun slowly setting down. She is sure there's another place with much better view, but Otoha strangely stuck on the balcony of their office as if it's the gate of heaven. She has seen prettier sunset, and wonders how this view looks like from Otoha's eyes.

"Yeah..." Chizu replies softly, "It's pretty."

======================================