Okay so I don't know how to start this off but basically this is a horrible month for me.

Back when I was nine, my little brother died and it was my fault.

He died on the 25th and his birthday was the 28th. I found out about his death through my mother on his birthday.

He was always a child with a weaker than average immune system. My mother would not take care of him properly just to spite her mother.

I had so many fucking chances to speak up about this situation.

But I didn't.

All because I was to afraid of being beat by my mother. My brother mattered so much more than my mother beating me, but no.

I was too much of a pussy.

And that was how my life went down fucking hill.

So yeah. Had to get all that shit off my chest. I understand if you think differently about me now. You've all been so great to me and I'm so very thankful for it. I love you all.
Stay safe