Conner had pushed Evan earlier that day. Evan. That cute guy who couldn't talk for shit, but was kind of adorable. Evan, the loser no one talked too except that guy Jared. Honestly, why did he even hang out with him, he was nothing but a jerk. 

Freak.

Was that all anyone thought of him? Was that all he would ever be? Just a freak, a zoo animal for people to laugh at.

No one stopped to talk to him, no one even noticed he was there. He was lost, in the inbetween. If only someone would talk to him. If someone would be a friend.

Even Evan thought he was a freak! And that kid was a loser, like him. A nerd with no social skills and who talked to fast. A guy that no one knew.

Like him.

Conner, a guy who everyone hated, said he was out of control. Was high all the time. No one seemed to care, or even notice he was there. 

But,

If someone could somehow be his friend. Maybe life would turn around. Maybe he could try. He'd give it one last try. With Evan. 

One last try at life.

One last chance for someone to prove life was worth living. Because all his hopes were pinned on Evan. Who he didn't even know and who didn't know him. But maybe if he could talk to him, maybe nothing would be different at all.

He wished everything was different. He wished that maybe he could be a part of something. He wish that anything he said would matter to anyone. To Evan. 

But let's face it, would anyone even notice of he disappeared tomorrow? 

Probably not.

After school, he headed to the Computer lab, where he knew Evan was. He noticed something printing out and he grabbed it, assuming it was Evan's.

What to say? He walked up behind Evan, a few yards away.

 "So, what happened to your arm?"

Evan turned, rubbing the back of his head with his good hand, "Oh, I um, I fell out of a tree."

 Conner blinked, that was kind of funny in a way. He couldn't help but laugh as he said, "You fell out of a tree? That is just the saddest fucking thing I've ever heard. Oh my god."

 Evan laughed nervously, looking at his feet, "I know."

Here was his chance. He pointed at his cast, "No one's signed your cast."

Evan glanced at his arm, "No, I know."

 "I'll sign it." 

 I'll sign it? How stupid did that sound! 

Evan seemed nervous. But then again, he always seemed nervous, "Oh, um... You don't have to."

 But I want to. "Do you have a sharpie?"

He reluctantly pulled a sharpie out of his pocket, handing it to Conner. Conner figured he'd be the only one to sign the cast, so he grabbed his arm and wrote it in large sprawling print, covering the entire side of the cast.

 "Oh. Great. Thanks," he muttered looking at the large print.

 Now, if he could slyly mention they should be friends. "Now we can both pretend we have friends."

 "Good point."

 Evan was turning to leave. No! Conner tried to think of something to say, he suddenly remembered the piece of paper he'd found. He held it out for Evan, now if he could pretend that he didn't know his name and didn't care that he existed, but hint that he did kind of care now and that they should get to know each other better. "Is this yours? I found it in the printer, 'Dear Evan Hansen,' that's your name right? "

 Brilliant. He pulled that off. 

Evan looked panicked, his face turning impossibly redder, "Oh, that's just a stupid, it's a paper I had to write for a, um, an assignment..."

 Conner glanced down at it, a sentence grabbing his attention. About his sister. His heart broke, he read it and looked up at Evan with shock, "'Because there's Zoe.' Is this about my sister?"

 "No. Not at all."

 Conner felt like crying, he had pinned all of his hopes on Evan, and he turned out to be after his sister! How could he have been so stupid? He glared at Hansen, "You wrote this because you knew I would find it."

 "What?"

 "You knew I was the only other person in the computer lab, so you printed it out, knowing I would find it."

 "Why, would I do that?"

 Conner interrupted him, "So I would read some creepy shit you wrote about my sister, so I would freak out right? And then you could go and tell everyone I'm crazy, right?"

Evan held out a hand, pleadingly, "No. Wait. I don't even, what?"

Evan was just another one of them. Another person who thought he was a freak. He folded the letter and put it on his pocket, "Fuck you."

 He left, taking the letter, he didn't listen to whatever Evan was calling out to him.

That had been his last hope. Conner had tried one last time and failed miserably. Just what he got for thinking that maybe someone cared, maybe someone could learn to care.

And Evan, the one person he thought might be able to find room to feel something for him, was just like everyone else. No more. He wouldn't be called a freak anymore. No one would care anyway, they would move on to their next target, after finishing off him.

Would they be happy? Happy that they finally killed the beast. The freak, the crazy guy who threw a printer in second grade.

 "Well, I'm glad to have entertained you all," he muttered, tears pouring down his face as he looked back at the computer lab.

 Evan Hansen stood there, watching him without seeing him. Just another person. Just another mistake. Another failure.  Another pretender another regret, someone he could have loved but hadn't learned to care for yet. And now he never would.

A/n

This is also the prologue for my new tree bros book guys so check it out of you enjoyed this.