Blurring The Lines {21}
Jin and I sat side by side, thighs touching together but no words spoken between us. Whatever Headmaster Constance had done to Jin, Jin needed time to clear his head from it.
So he sat with his head bent low, an earphone in one ear. The other one was in my ear as we listened to his music together in the silence and solitude of the library.
If anyone walked in here, it would be easy for us to jump apart. But no one had come in yet, and it'd been nearly an hour since we'd kissed.
Jin picked his head up. "He was right."
"Who?" I said, looking over at him.
"Headmaster Constance," he said. "He told me my dad would never forgive what I'd done. He was right. My dad won't. Headmaster Constance also said I'd broken myself too much to ever have a healthy relationship with anyone. He said I'd never fix the relationship with my parents, or have friends I cared for. But I don't think he was right about that. I think someday..." He shrugged. "Not today. But someday."
"Where are the others?" I asked. If Headmaster Constance had put Jin in this state, I couldn't even imagine what the others were like. Jin was used to repressing his emotions to handle this kind of situation. The others weren't.
"Dealing with it," he said, shrugging. "It's their problem, not mine."
"You're an asshole, you know that?" I said.
He stood up. "I don't need Karson causing problems for me. I'm going to go make sure he hasn't killed anyone."
I got up and followed him out of the library. He didn't say anything, but he slowed his pace so I could keep up with him.
The two of us walked off the path so we wouldn't be spotted together. We reached Jin's dorm and he took us in through the side door, leaving me to go take the elevator up.
He was waiting outside his room when I reached it. He shoved the door open and we went inside together.
"He returns," Karson said. "And he brought the crip with him."
Jin kicked the door shut. "Let me guess, Headmaster Constance said shit about your parents and your brother and now you're feeling homicidal."
Karson leapt off his bed and shoved Jin. "Mind your own business."
Jin just stared at him with that impassive expression. "You're my roommate. If you go on a rage, I'll get dragged into trouble too."
"You'll be fine," Karson said, backing off, just a bit. "Besides, you can just drink your troubles away."
Jin gestured to the mini fridge in their room. "All I have is water."
"I want to hit Headmaster Constance too," Karson said, and his voice was angry. "I want to drag this whole damn Academy to hell."
"What threat did he use on you?" Jin asked.
Karson grinned, a cold look. "If I keep this up, he'll call my dad. And then he'll call my brother."
"You knew the risks," Jin said. "You knew Aspen could get involved."
"Don't," Karson snarled, clenching his fist. "Don't say his name. He's not going to get involved in any of this. He doesn't give a shit."
But Jin wasn't afraid. "You know Aspen will get involved if Headmaster Constance calls him."
Karson decked Jin so hard that Jin's impassive expression was literally knocked off his face. It was replaced by a look of surprise and pain.
But he placed a hand over his cheek and composed his features as quickly as always. "Hit me all you want. It won't change what happened, or what will happen. If you want to back out, back out now."
Karson struck him again. "I'm not backing out. I'm not afraid of my brother. Aspen can fuck himself."
"Do you ever think your mom left because she was so horrified by the decision to name her own child Aspen?" I said.
"Shut the fuck up or I'll cripple your other leg," Karson snapped.
"You hate Aspen, but he doesn't hate you," Jin said, eyes challenging Karson. "Learn to deal with that knowledge, Kar."
"He left my dad!" Karson exploded, gripping Jin's shirt and slamming him against the wall. "He knew my dad was suicidal, and he left him alone! He was going to let my dad fucking die!" Karson started shaking Jin, looking furious and desperate. "Aspen's the reason I got sent here. My dad is alone right now because Aspen got me sent here and abandoned us!"
Jin gripped Karson's arms, meeting his eyes. "You're the reason you got sent here, Karson. You're the one who snapped. You're the one who was hurting people." Jin slowly released Karson's arms. "Shake me until you feel better. Hurt me too. I don't care. It doesn't change the things you did, and it doesn't change the things your brother did."
Karson slowly released Jin and stepped back. "Get out."
Jin fixed his shirt and walked away, pulling me with him. He shut the door and started down the hallway.
"What the hell was that about?" I asked, hurrying to follow him.
"The elevator is the other way," he said.
"I wish he hit you harder," I grumbled, turning and limping down to the elevator.
I met Jin outside and we started off the path again. He was silent as we walked, and as curious as I was, I swallowed down my questions.
"It's not his fault," Jin said at last. "Not really. When bad things happen to young kids, it warps them. Sometimes they can't recover."
"He's an asshole," I reminded.
"He was twelve years old when he came home and found his dad dying on the floor," Jin said. "He's not the most mentally stable person."
"Karson doesn't sound like he had the happiest childhood," I said.
Jin shook his head. "His dad has depression. He was on medication for most of Karson's childhood, but I guess he stopped taking it for a few years. Karson's brother Aspen is six years older than him, so he mostly dealt with their dad's episodes. But Mr. Wylie started showing suicidal behavior and talking about it, and Aspen packed up and left while Karson was at school. Karson came home and found his dad overdosed and dying. He called 911 and had to live with family while his dad recovered."
"Aspen," I said, shaking my head. "I know this is a serious story but...who the hell looks at a baby and thinks 'Aspen is a good name'?"
"Who looks at a baby and thinks Jin is a good name?" Jin said. "Parents have weird names they like. Anyways, the whole thing fucked Karson up pretty bad. He got pretty violent after it all happened, and Aspen was out of the picture. But when Karson started getting really violent towards people, Aspen arranged to send him here. Karson hasn't talked to him since their dad's suicide attempt, but Aspen's the one who keeps him at the Academy."
"I don't care," I mocked. At his curious glance, I raised an eyebrow. "You claim you don't care and that these people aren't you friends, but you know all this personal stuff about Karson."
"He's my roommate," he said.
"Jordan's my roommate but I couldn't even tell you his last name."
"Kar's been my roommate since I was 15," Jin said. "Trust me, you learn a lot about a guy when you live with him for that long."
I pretended to let it slide, but Jin called him "Kar" with a certain fondness. He knew how to handle Karson even when Karson was in a violent mood. They made the Blues nervous with the way they could team up in a fight. And they interacted like brothers, not like two guys who only put up with each other because they lived together.
"Hey." Jin nudged me. "Are you going to start following me around now? I'll tongue you, but you're not my damn shadow."
"It's follow you around or have Jordan hounding me with questions about why I skipped class," I said.
"That sounds like your problem," he said.
"I'm making it your problem," I said.
Honestly, I was just glad neither of us had pushed the other away. I think I was in a better place when it came to relationships than Jin, and I was especially surprised he hadn't pushed me away in favor of remaining closed off.
Jin stopped walking, as if he could read my mind. "They can't know. They'll use it against us. As far as they're concerned, I don't care."
"Yea, you're angsty and edgy and don't care about anything or anyone," I said. "Keep walking."
Jin pulled out a straw and stuck it between his lips, walking again. We moved slowly so my leg wouldn't get tired, just making our way through the campus.
"Hey, isn't that Isaac?" I said, nodding.
Sure enough, as we moved closer, Isaac came into view. He was sitting on a bench, head bent low and hands fidgeting in his lap.
"Hey, pest," Jin said as we stepped up to him. "What are you doing?"
Isaac looked up and peeked around. "You shouldn't be talking to me out in the open, Jin."
"Cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it. We're speaking," Jin said.
"My dad's coming to get me," Isaac said. "He called me and told me to wait here."
"Is he taking you out of the Academy?" I said. "Lucky ass kid."
Isaac shook his head. "No, he's just taking me out to dinner. He said he wants to talk to me. Mr. Constance called him."
"Because you're hanging out with Maroons?" Jin said.
Isaac nodded. "Uh-huh. Headmaster Constance told me if I kept hanging out with you guys, he'd call my dad. But Mr. Constance called him anyway."
"That's because Mr. Constance is a shitbag," I grumbled.
Isaac looked up at Jin and I was surprised to see frustrated tears in his eyes. "It's not fair. Headmaster Constance said I have to behave because I'm going to take over the company someday. He said if I get in trouble, it'll make people bring up those rumors about me being a bastard. They'll say I can't take over the company because I'm a bastard and I'm a naughty one. He said it'll make my mom and dad upset."
"Your parents will get over themselves," Jin said. "Everyone breaks the rules from time to time."
"I don't want them to be upset. When I was five, my mom and my aunt got in a fight and my aunt said no one would ever respect a bastard and his whore mom, and my mom started crying." Isaac wiped at his eyes. "I don't want to see my mom cry again."
"You don't control that," Jin said. "I'm sure my father stills sobs himself to sleep because his son loves vodka more than humans, but that's his own issue to deal with. You can't control rumors. You'll be called a bastard until the day you die, and you either learn to smile through it because it's not true, or you waste your breath screaming the truth to people who don't want to hear it."
"I want to be like you," Isaac said, the tears gathering in his eyes again. "You don't care what people say!"
"Uh, yea, kid, that's not healthy," I said, gesturing to Jin. "This? This would require years of weekly therapy to recover from. This is not behavior to idolize."
"I don't need therapy," Jin said.
"Your emotions are so repressed you don't even know how to smile," I said.
"Sure I do," Jin said, but his expression remained the same.
"Is that your smile? Your joy looks the same as your anger and your fear and your excitement because you don't actually fucking have emotions," I said.
"People are always going to call you a bastard, including me. Deal with it."
We turned to face Karson as he came over to us. He didn't meet our eyes, just fixed his glasses and stepped up next to Jin.
"Cry a little more, kid. See if that fixes your life," Karson said.
"Shut up, glasses," Isaac said, sniffling. He wiped at his eyes again, pulling his vest up to dry the rest of his tears.
He looked up, eyes still red but tears gone. Jin chewed on his straw and shrugged at Isaac.
"You don't need to be like me. I make my parents cry. Find your own damn personality, pest," Jin said.
"Isaac."
We looked over at the man standing there. He was eyeing Jin and Isaac with displeasure. But I didn't understand how anyone could deny that this was Isaac's dad, because I tell their similarities right away.
"Dad!" Isaac said, his sorrow wiped away and a cheerful façade fixed firmly in place. He leapt off the bench and bounded over to his dad, hugging him tightly. "I missed you, dad!"
Mr. Ruvolo hugged him back. "I missed you too, Isaac." He looked past Isaac at us, looking like he wanted to tell Jin and Karson to fuck off and stay away from his son.
"Quit looking at us like that. The Blue here already told us to piss off and stay away from the kid," Jin said. "Let's go be delinquents somewhere else, Karson."
Karson grinned, a shadow of his usual grin, but an attempt. "I love being a delinquent and corrupting little bastards. Let's go."
The two strolled out of sight before Mr. Ruvolo could say anything. Isaac looked up and smiled at his dad, pointing at me.
"That's Kai! He's in my Peer Program group. We're friends," he said.
"'Friends' is a really strong word," I grumbled.
Mr. Ruvolo stepped forward, holding his hand out to me. "Nice to meet you. I'm Nicholas Ruvolo, Isaac's father."
"Kai Humphrey, one time I helped Isaac and now he thinks we're friends," I said, shaking his hand.
Mr. Ruvolo turned to Isaac. "Isaac, stay away from those Maroons boys. They're bad news. Mr. Constance warned me about those two. He said the white haired one and the one with glasses are two of the worst Maroons at the Academy. I don't want you getting caught up with them." His gaze softened and he reached out, placing a hand on Isaac's shoulder. "You're too kind for your own good, you know that? You don't have to be friends with everyone."
"Okay, dad," Isaac said brightly, but his hands were behind his back and I saw his fingers cross.
"Yea, I'm just going to go now," I said, limping away from them in the direction Jin and Karson had gone.
"Bye Kai!" Isaac said, waving.
I ignored him and rounded the corner. Jin and Karson were sitting against a building together, and they watched me as I went up to them.
"What about Lev and Amelia?" I asked.
Jin stood up, pulling Karson with him. "They'll be fine. They have each other. Lev isn't here because he got in trouble or has any problems. He's just here to keep an eye on Amelia, so as long as he can see that she's okay, he'll be fine. And Amelia will rely on him for whatever Headmaster Constance put in her head."
"Jin texted them," Karson said, holding up his phone. "We have a group chat. Lev said they're watching Amelia's favorite movie to cheer her up."
Karson's phone buzzed to life with a text and I squinted at the screen. "Is your group chat name 'Nutting For Jinsus Christ'?"
"This is an invasion of privacy," Karson said, tucking his phone back in his pocket. "We don't tell you how to live your life."
"Yes you do," I said, glaring at him. "You make me help you with your dumbass schemes."
"Speaking of schemes, we should make a move soon. There will be tension between Adam and Headmaster Constance," Jin said. "Adam wanted to be the one to take us down, but Headmaster Constance stepped in. We can use that to our advantage."
"I, uh, also might have let the milk thing slip," I said. "I was a little pissed. So he knows that Mr. Constance is letting the Blues get away with things like that. Well, encouraging things like that."
"We can use that," Jin said, looking lost in thought. "Headmaster Constance will be questioning his son's methods." He looked up, eyes determined. "This is the time we need to do something reckless. We need the Blues to lash out at us. We need Headmaster Constance to see how violent things are under Adam's rule. With the tension between them already, it could have the affect we want."
"So we sacrifice ourselves?" Karson said, raising an eyebrow. "Whatever, I'm always down for a fight."
Jin shook his head. "We don't need a fight. Let's go to Lev's room. I'll catch Isaac up later."
We took off down towards their dorm building. Karson was clearly still angry from earlier, but he'd gotten himself under some semblance of control, and being around Jin seemed to help.
We reached the dorm building and Jin let us in. They waited for me at the elevator, and led me down to Lev's room, throwing the door open.
Lev and Amelia looked up from Lev's bed. They were rolled together in blankets, Amelia reluctantly taking her attention away from the TV screen. There was a big bowl of popcorn settled in front of them.
"We need to talk about schemes," Jin said, shutting the door. "Where's your roommate?"
"He went to workout in the gym with his friends," Lev said, sitting up and pulling Amelia with him. "Jin, are you alright? Are you alright, Karson?"
"We're fine," Jin said dismissively. "Look, there's tension between Constance and his son right now, so we need to act. Kai told him about what the Blues did to me."
I sat down at Lev's desk. Jin sat on top of it, and Karson went over and sat at the other desk. Lev and Amelia paused their movie and watched Jin attentively.
"What we need to do is prove the Blues are out of control under Mr. Constance's influence. He's letting them get too bold, too violent. We need that doubt in Headmaster Constance's mind that if he leaves his son in charge, someone will get hurt and the Academy will fall under investigation," Jin said.
"So...a fight?" Karson said, looking too eager.
Jin shook his head. "No, not like you're thinking. What we need is an injury. And it needs to be something that they can't just shrug off. We need it to be a small incident that sparks too much violence from the Blues. Headmaster Constance needs to see how bad things on campus have gotten."
"Are you saying one of us needs to get hurt?" Lev asked, face paling.
"It can be me," Jin said, and his voice was dismissive, uncaring. "The point we get across is what's important."
"So, what, you let them make you the other cripple of the Academy?" I said angrily, glaring at Jin. "You can't just go off sacrificing yourself. They were going to break Karson's nose. They'll have no problems seriously injuring you, Jin. There has to be another way."
Karson looked between the two of us and his eyebrows shot up, but he didn't say anything. Lev and Amelia seemed less observational about the situation between me and Jin, which I was thankful for.
"What about a riot?" I said.
"A riot?" Jin said.
I nodded. "Yea. Start a massive fight. Something on campus so big that it pulls the teachers, the security, and the Constance family into it." An idea flickered in my mind, encouraged by the things Jin had told me today about his life and Karson's life. "A riot, yea. Something that big, they can't cover up easily. It's the school's responsibility to keep kids safe while they're here, right? The Constance family won't want parents involved, but if there's a big fight that puts most students at risk of injury, things will need to change. And it would be even better if it happened when Leon Constance was on campus."
"Oh, the cute Constance," Amelia said, brightening up.
"He's better at handling the students than Mr. Constance is. If students see Leon doing a better job than Adam, they'll start to doubt Adam too. The tension between Adam and his father, the riot from Adam's policies, and the doubt from students might be enough to take down Adam," I said.
"But how would we start a riot?" Lev seemed alarmed at the idea. "It would have to be something they can't trace back to us."
"Why?" Jin said, his eyes brighter than I'd ever seen them. "If they trace it back to us, even better. We were the group Adam Constance couldn't crush. We're his first big challenge working at the Academy, and if we show that he failed, it'll put even more doubt that he could handle groups like us in the future. His policies and attitude will build groups like ours, but he won't be able to tear them down."
"A riot," Karson said, grin wide. "I love this idea. Who knew the crip had it in him."
I shot him a dirty look. "I hope you get trampled."
He blew me a kiss. "Love you too, crip. Not as much as some people in this room, of course."
"I hope you have a spare pair of glasses," Jin said.
"Break my glasses again and I'll kill you myself. I couldn't even call my dad to bring my spares last time because I couldn't see the damn phone," Karson said, glaring at Jin. "The health center keeps my spares now, but glasses aren't cheap, asshole."
"Back on topic," Jin said. "A riot. We need to figure out how to start one, and it needs to be in the next few days before Headmaster Constance and Mr. Constance calm down." Jin pointed at me. "You, figure out when Leon will be on campus. The higher up Blues like Jordan should know. Mr. Constance keeps a close eye on his brother." He pointed at Karson. "You, get a feel for who would be willing to initiate a fight with the Blues. Don't let anything slip. Just get a feel for who would have the balls to jump into a big fight like that." He pointed at Amelia. "You, send some of those emails we hacked to Headmaster Constance tomorrow to keep the tension between him and his kid strong." He pointed at Lev. "You, keep an eye out the next few days. Spot the most trigger happy Blues so we know who to target."
"And you?" I said.
"I'll figure out a way to start a riot. Once I know when Leon will be on campus, that'll be our time limit. I'll come up with something," Jin said.
They looked nervous, excited, and eager. Jin shifted slightly, letting his leg brush against mine, not looking at me.
I wasn't going to let him become a martyr. I wanted him to care about himself for once. I didn't care if I had to drag the self-preservation out of him; he wasn't going to fall with Mr. Constance. No matter what Jin's plan was, I'd make sure he'd come out of it okay.
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