I found myself checking the time anxiously as it got later. I'd run up to the café and gotten myself another coffee, knowing I'd need it to stay awake.

                When it neared midnight, I snuck out of the library and off the path, where Jin, Karson, and Isaac all were. Jin was sitting against a tree, chewing on a straw.

                "Where are Lev and Amelia?" I asked.

                "Amelia's probably eloping with a laptop," Karson said, wincing as Jin kicked him in the back of the ankle.

                "They'll be here," Jin said.

                I sat down, stretching my leg out so it could rest a bit. I noticed Jin had an earphone in, the other dangling down against his shirt, music just barely drifting out.

                He noticed me looking and shrugged, offering the free one to me. I took it and shifted a little closer so I could listen to the music.

                "-when you bitch, counterfeit hypocrite holy shit. Once upon a time in a land far away, there lived a little boy and he cried all day."

                I raised an eyebrow at Jin. "You're so fucking angsty."

                Karson looked down at us and laughed. "You don't have to live with Jin. He loves his angsty music. Probably used to drink and slit his wrists to it back home."

                "Alcohol isn't even good," Isaac said, making a face. "My mom lets me try her wine at dinner sometimes and my dad's let me try his beer before. It's all gross."

                "I recommend vodka," Jin said. "If you really hate yourself, though, a few shots of tequila will really make you miserable."

                "Oh, especially the cheap stuff," Karson said in disgust. "When I was younger, that shitbag brother of mine got his hands on this $10 bottle of tequila and I gagged it down and didn't try tequila again for two years."

                "My dad kept top shelf liquor," Jin said. "Got into his Everclear a few times. One time my mom woke me up and I was lying in the basement in my own puke with absolutely no memory of how it happened."

                "The mind eraser," Karson said fondly. "My dad got drunk off it a few times. Always swore he'd never have it again during his hangover. Always went back to it when it was offered to him."

                "Why do you drink? It doesn't sound fun," Isaac said. "My parents never feel good after they drink at their work parties."

                "I hardly drink. Just some teen experimenting with my dad's stash," Karson said. "Alcohol is Jin's thing. His parents got his name right, that's for sure."

                "It's Jin with a J, not gin with a g," Jin said. "Besides, I don't drink anymore."

                "What about you, crip?" Karson nudged me with his foot. "You a drinker?"

                "No," I said. "I've only tried drinks my parents made. I don't care for alcohol."

                "Sorry we're late," Lev said, coming into view with Amelia following him. "We lost track of time. Amelia was trying to update her laptop."

                "Update, elope. Close enough," Karson said.

                Jin stood up, taking his earphones from me and stuffing them into his pocket. He held his hand out to me and helped me to my feet. I steadied myself with my cane, and the six of us started off towards the academic building.

                We reached the back of the building and Amelia typed in the security code. We entered the building and followed Jin down the dark hallways until we reached Mr. Townsend's room.

                We entered and Jin pulled the blinds down before turning on the light. Amelia immediately went over to the laptop and got to work hacking into it.

                Karson eyed the desk and snickered. "Look at that. Guy tries to act like some loving father. Pictures of his kids and everything."

                Jin glanced at the pictures, and I looked over as well. There was the one of the brothers looking miserable to be near each other. There was a senior picture for each son. And there was one of Mr. Townsend standing with his younger son. In it, his son had a reluctant smile as Mr. Townsend held him close. But it was his clothing that caught my eye.

                "His son was a Maroon?" I said in surprise.

                Jin nodded. "Both of his sons were Maroons. But his older kid was only a Maroon for a year before he clawed his way back up to the Blues. His younger son was a Maroon from sixth grade until he graduated. He fought back against this Academy for six years. He was one of the ones who helped push through changes here."

                "It's kind of sad. He looks miserable in all those pictures," Lev said with a frown. "I heard he didn't get along with his parents or his brother."

                "Karson can sympathize, I'm sure," Isaac said.

                Karson shot him a glare. "Shut up, you little bastard. At least I know my real dad."

                "So do I! And I know my mom!" Isaac said cheerfully.

                "Both of you shut up," Jin said, punching both of them in the back of the head. "Amelia, how much longer?"

                "I'll get us his emails," she said, sticking a drive into the laptop. "It'll take time to go through them, though."

                Jin pulled out a blue marker and went around to three of the desks, drawing an X on each one. He turned to me.

                "Where do you sit?" he asked.

                I pointed at my desk and he went over, drawing a blue X on it. He put the marker back in his pocket.

                "Why my desk?" I asked.

                "Because I'm not stupid and neither are they. Surely by now I would've figured out you were the one telling them what we were up to," Jin said. "Congratulations, you're getting called out."

                "I'm honored," I said flatly.

                "I thought you might be." He sat on a desk and nodded at Karson.

                Karson went over to the board and pulled up the board cover. He grabbed a marker and wrote on the board for a little before stepping back.

                "Keep kissing Constance's ass and you'll go down with him" was written out. Karson dropped the marker to the floor and pulled the board cover back down.

                "Poetic," I said.

                "Shut it, ass kisser," Karson said.

                "Okay, I have an idea to get the Blue pawns from Townsend's class. Finding all of them will take me some time, but I can get these ones in just a few minutes. Get me a class list," Amelia said.

                "You're on his computer. Just pull up the attendance," Karson said.

                "Class list!" she repeated sternly.

                Jin rolled his eyes but didn't get off the desk. Lev searched around until he'd found a printed out copy of the class list, handing it to Amelia. Amelia laid it out in front of her and began typing away rapidly.

                Jin took the blue marker back out of his pocket and rolled it between his hands as we waited. I took a seat, letting my leg rest.

                "I knew Hailey was a bitch," Amelia said, making a face at the computer screen. "Go mark her desk! She's one of Constance's slaves!"

                "Seat, Amelia," Jin said.

                "Second row, third from the end," Amelia said, glancing at the attendance sheet.

                "Is that the Hailey who called Miranda a butch because she's muscular?" Lev said.

                "Yes it is. I hope Miranda uses her pretty muscles to smash Hailey's head like a grape," Amelia said. She started typing again, her focus shifting back to the laptop.

                Jin hopped off the desk and went down the second row, drawing a blue X on one of the desks. He returned to the other desk and sat on it again.

                "What does this accomplish?" I said. "You're just drawing Xs on desks. Oh, so terrifying. So rebellious. It's like a live action Rogue One."

                "What it accomplishes is letting the Blues know that we're well aware of who is working closely with Mr. Constance. It also lets them know we can get access to that kind of information," Jin said. "It puts them on edge."

                "So you put them on edge and then let them beat your asses?" I said, raising an eyebrow.

                He shook his head. "Now they'll think we're coming after them. We turn their focus to the wrong target. These kids were never our goal. We just need them distracted so we can move in against Mr. Constance."

                "Hailey was the only other one from Mr. Townsend's class," Amelia said, looking up. "Also, I found out what happened to Ryan."

                "Oh shit. I forgot about that guy," I said in surprise.

                "Mr. Constance transferred him into a separate class rotation and stuck him in the Peer Program," Amelia said, shutting the laptop after taking her drive out. "Mr. Constance must want to keep Kai in our group to spy on us, because he gave Ryan a Blue spot that had just opened in one of the other Peer groups."

                "Lucky us. We get to keep the crip and the bastard," Karson said.

                Isaac smiled. "I think you'd miss me, glasses."

                "'Glasses' is not an insult," Karson said. "I am well aware that I'm blind."

                "And I'm well aware that you're obnoxious. Shut up," Jin said, hopping off the desk. "Let's get out of here."

                We pulled the blinds back up and turned the light off. We left the room and shut the door, but instead of leaving, Karson knelt down and began to fidget with the lock.

                He played around with it for a minute before standing up and shrugging. "Lock picking is not a reliable talent of mine, but it should look like we broke in now."

                "Fantastic," Jin said. "Let's go already."

                We left the academic building and crept away from it, back to the spot we had met at. Isaac let out a tired yawn.

                "I'm going back to sleep," he said, checking the time. "It's almost one in the morning."

                "The child is up way past his bedtime," Karson said.

                Isaac gave a swift kick to Karson's shin. "I'm sleepy. Don't make me mad now."

                "Go," Jin said, giving him a shove towards the path. "You're such a pest."

                Isaac rubbed at his eyes and waved. "G'night everyone!"

                "I'm going to sleep too," I said, my coffee wearing off.

                "I'll take you back to the dorms," Jin said. "We don't need you falling and ruining our future plans."

                "So compassionate," I grumbled. "Piss off. I can make it back just fine on my own."

                "Shut up and start walking," Jin said.

                "Don't you mean shut up and start limping?" Karson yelped as I whacked him with my cane.

                Jin started walking and I reluctantly followed him. We stayed off the path and out of the light, Jin matching his pace to mine as he put a straw in his mouth to chew on.

                "So why are you really walking with me? You know I don't need a babysitter," I said.

                "You're getting curious," he said.

                He stopped and so did I. I turned to face him, my gaze daring him to get mad about my curiosity. Was Jin even capable of emotions anymore, even anger?

                "None of this is about friends coming together to fight back," Jin said. "If every single one of you disappeared tomorrow, that would be fine by me. We're just students in a similar shitty situation. That's what holds us together. You want to know about my past? I was a drunk kid who didn't give a damn about anyone. Now I'm just a sober kid with the same attitude. That's all you need to know."

                "I know what it looks like when someone pushes people away," I said, glaring at him. "Cut your angsty loner shit."

                "I'll toss you a scrap to make you understand. When I was 15, I got so hopelessly drunk that my dad had to carry my passed out self from the backyard to my bedroom. When I woke up, I heard him fighting with my mom. You know what he said?" Jin pushed the straw to the corner of his mouth, that impassive expression fixed firmly on his face. "He said 'That's not my fucking son'." His lips gave that faint tug. "And you know what? I didn't care."

                "Your words and your actions don't match up. You don't care about anyone or anything, yet you're fighting back against this Academy because you think the abuse is wrong?" I shook my head. "You're just fake to yourself."

                "So are you," Jin said. "You keep saying you're this useless, broken person because of your leg."

                "My leg has nothing to do with your desire to act cool because you don't care about anything," I said, my grip on my cane tightening. "Wow, so edgy."

                "Try music," he said. "It was my go to when I couldn't get my hands on alcohol. It's hard to get through something when you don't have the words for it. Sometimes music gives you the words."

                "Sometimes it's like I'm talking to a 14 year old," I said. "Next you'll be telling me to go drown my soul in bands with whiny vocalists."

                "Take my advice or don't. It's not my life," Jin said. "I'm sure you can find your way back to the dorm from here."

                "You'd fight for them if you had to," I said, and I don't know what made me say it.

                He met my gaze with those dead eyes of his. "No, I wouldn't."

                Anger flashed in me, different from the frustrated anger that came with my leg. This was an anger as white as Jin's hair. How could he say he wouldn't fight for his friends? He was trying to bury any feelings he could possibly have, but what did that accomplish?

                "Then you can be alone," I said bitterly. I knew I was alone, and I knew I had no one to blame but myself. I'd driven my friends away in desperate anger, too afraid they'd only stay with me out of pity, too afraid for the day they realized they didn't want a broken Kai around. "You can be alone and throw yourself into music or drown yourself in the bottom of a bottle. Good fucking luck."

                I turned and limped away from him, back towards the dorm building. I don't know why I was so angry.

                Maybe because he had friends that had no reason to leave him. They'd clearly grown fond of him despite his emotionless state and addicted background. They weren't going to leave him anytime soon. But he was willing to toss them away for no reason.

                I let myself into the dorm building, flashing my I.D. to the Blue on duty before heading towards my room. I leaned against the hallway next to my door.

                Jin was none of my damn business. His life was his to ruin, and my life was mine to ruin. I felt a bitter smile coming to my face. Loneliness sounded fine until you were actually alone. That's when it really hit you just how deafening silence could be.

                I had learned that the hard way. Jin was heading down the same self-destructive path I'd limped along since the accident.

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A.N.- Thank you all so much for the birthday wishes! (I still don't know why people think I don't read the comments, that's my favorite part of posting here??) I'll probably be back to the really quick updates until I start to post faster than I can write