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❛ she's totally a bitch ❜

Once everyone had filed into the Great Hall and all the first-years had been sorted, Dumbledore began his usual boring beginning-of-year speech.

"Good evening, children," Dumbledore's voice boomed through the Hall, quieting every single student. Magnolia was mid-bite of her treacle tart and nearly jumped in surprise.

"Now, we have two changes in staffing this year," Dumbledore continued. "We're pleased to welcome back Professor Grubbly-Plank who'll be taking Care of Magical Creatures while Professor Hagrid is on temporary leave."

There was some loud murmuring, especially, Magnolia noticed, from the Gryffindor table. She rolled her eyes - she had never quite liked Professor Hagrid anyway.

"We also wish to welcome our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Dolores Umbridge. And I'm sure you'll all join me in wishing the professor good luck. Now, as usual, our caretaker, Mr. Filch, has asked me to remind you-"

He was interrupted by a sickly-sweet "hem hem" from a woman dressed horribly in pink from head to toe. Dolores Umbridge, Magnolia assumed. Merlin, was she an eyesore.

She rose from her seat and slowly made her way to Dumbledore's podium.

"Thank you, Headmaster, for those kind words of welcome," she said, and you could hear in her voice that she wasn't at all sincere. "And how lovely to see all your bright, happy faces smiling up at me."

Magnolia, for one, knew she wasn't smiling, and she glanced around the Hall. From what she could tell, nobody else was really smiling either. This woman is crazy, she mouthed to Daphne, who nodded.

"I'm sure we're all going to be very good friends," Umbridge continued, and Pansy made a face, making Daphne snort in laughter. She hid it with a cough.

"That's likely," a voice called, and Umbridge gave a look in its direction before continuing her unnecessary speech.

"The Ministry of Magic has always considered the education of young witches and wizards to be of vital importance." Umbridge began walking across the raised platform where the professors were sat. "Although each headmaster has brought something... new to this historic school..." she gave Dumbledore a glance, and Dumbledore gave her a polite nod, "...progress for the sake of progress must be discouraged." Umbridge walked back to her spot next to Dumbledore's podium, still yapping away. Magnolia wondered if anyone was still listening. She had gone back to her treacle tart. "Let us preserve what must be preserved, perfect what can be perfected, and prune practices that ought to be..." she dropped her voice to a whisper, "prohibited." She gave the students a fake smile, and with a swift nod, began walking back to her chair.

Dumbledore applauded, causing everyone else to hesitantly join in. Magnolia offered a few claps before going back to her tart.

"That was the fakest person I have ever seen," Pansy muttered. "And I've seen Millicent Bulstrode."

Daphne snorted again. "I mean, her extensions are so obvious."

"Millicent's or Umbridge's?" Pansy grinned, making me roll my eyes.

"Merlin, Pansy, you're not that funny," Daphne huffed, even while hiding a small smile.

"I bet Umbridge is one of those weird cat ladies that smell funny all the time," Magnolia said, stuffing the last bite of treacle tart into her mouth.

"And wear weird sweaters," Pansy added.

"I'll never be able to see pink the same way," Daphne sighed dramatically. "What a shame."

"A shame indeed," Pansy said sarcastically.

"Pink is a great color," Daphne argued. "But not on that woman. It's clearly not in her color palette. It makes her look washed out."

"Or that's just how she looks," Magnolia offered.

"I suppose she's too old to be tanning," Daphne shrugged. "But there's a lot she could do for those wrinkles."

"Daphne, no offense, but nobody cares," Pansy interjected.

"What do you mean, no offense?" Daphne replied. "Everything you say is meant to offend."

Pansy scoffed. "Whatever."

"Come on, let's go unpack," Daphne said, changing the subject, and the three girls got up from the table.

"I can't believe that woman is going to be teaching us," Pansy grumbled as we walked down the corridors. "I mean, who does she think she is?"

"She's totally a bitch," Daphne agreed.

"Umbridge the bitch," Magnolia snorted.

"Umbitch," Pansy giggled.