[Ha Jeongwook]

I remember that one day. The big game between us and Duckyoung High. The most important match of the Spring League, the one that would decide whether we'd qualify for the play-offs or leave that spot to our rivals. While my team and I did win, I still can't help feeling sorrow over what happened to Duckyoung's Kim Saehyeon.

He's one of the starters of that team, a talented and creative attacking midfielder who has repeatedly been crowned among the best players in tournaments. He has the skills and potential to take the pro route one day... If only that injury didn't slow the process down.

What I'm sure of is that he was doing great as usual, while I was surprisingly underperforming. Courtesy of the opposite team's brilliant playing strategy, but my poor form was also to blame.

The first half ended level, 0-0. Coach Yeo was so unsatisfied that he already subbed three starters due to poor form. I couldn't blame him at the time. Even so, I was hopeful the substitutes would bring new energy and raise the bar.

Yet, things didn't really change. Duckyoung were still dominating the game. Saehyeon had it all to be crowned the match's MVP later. However, a huge plot twist changed the match in our favor. A literal twist of his knee.

He fell on the ground, much to his teammates' shock. The referee, even in his attempt to maintain his composure, was frazzled. All I sensed around myself was panic. No-one was lucid enough to understand what to do in such a situation.

So, I took matters by my own hands until medics came with a stretcher. I tried to help Saehyeon to get back on his feet, but he was such in pain that he could barely stand. His face was swollen because of how much he was crying.

My heart broke at his sufferance. His game didn't deserve to end the way he did. He was performing so well. I sighed as I slowly led him off pitch so that the paramedics could take him to the ER as soon as possible.

At last, when 119 came for him, I realized his injury was a serious one. Saehyeon might've been part of the other team, but the fact he was a rival didn't mean I shouldn't pay him my respect. I was so shaken that I wasn't ready to go back on the pitch to finish the fixture with my teammates.

Nonetheless, Coach Yeo refused to sub me. "I count on you, Jeongwook. Don't disappoint me." His stern warning was supposed to fuel confidence inside me. However, for some reason, I felt like it was draining me instead.

Despite that, we managed to eke out a win thanks to Lee Seongjae, our top striker. While the squad was satisfied for finally defeating Duckyoung after a long negative streak against them, Coach Yeo wasn't. I believed he had a good reason to be disappointed at some players' performances, including mine.

Although I tried to listen to his speech, where he criticised most of us, my mind shifted to Saehyeon even when I tried to erase him from my mind. He was a rival, after all. I was worried for him only out of sportsmanship, not because we were friends.

Coach noticed I was distracted and singled me out for further lashings. "You're not listening, Jeongwook! At this point, it's clear you don't care. Next time, you're off the list. You won't be called up. You'll stay at home so that you finally learn. Now, get out before I completely axe you." I obeyed and left the premises without turning back or changing.

I barely retained tears on my way home. I didn't even want to stay at school to study. I hated that motherfucker. He always found reasons to pick on me, even the stupidest ones. No-one ever stood for me, yet I was always there for them. I didn't care anymore. I needed to check on Saehyeon.

Unfortunately, I had no idea of where to find him, so all I could do was to wait and hope for the better. I tried to find a way to take a detour. I didn't want to go home and tell Dad I was gonna be benched or, worse, left off list for a potentially long time. He would hate me for that.

***

Surprisingly enough, Dad hasn't resented me over the fact that my tenure in the squad has taken a turn for the worst over the past months. Instead, both he, Mom and Jeongyun have grown to dislike Coach Yeo. "That man will be your ruin!" is Mom's strong statement.

"How he still thinks bullying is a way to motivate players is beyond me," adds my sister. She's older than me, which means that she already knows how bad it is to be picked on by someone who's supposed to be your guide. She has also experienced that firsthand.

I sigh. "I know, I know... But he's my only chance if I want to be noticed by scouts. I mean, do you remember Seongjae? At least four or five teams have their eyes on him. Still, he gets dragged to Hell and back. Like most of us." Resignation fills my voice, but it fuels my family's resolve further than it does my desperation.

"Jeongwook, you can't keep up like that," says Mom. "Take back the reins of yourself. Your wellbeing comes first. Those other pieces of shit can kick rocks. I'm not just talking about Yeo." The list of shitty people on my ass is actually longer than today's newspaper, but I don't want to upset my parents or sister again.

I shift the focus on Saehyeon. "I wonder how he feels. He must've taken a major hit with that injury. I hope he can come back soon." As much as I want to cry, I promise myself not to. I have to stay strong. My family might be understanding, but neither Yeo nor those other punk ass teachers are. They feed off my weakness.

Jeongyun reassures me. "Look, I don't know the guy, but he must be a tough type based on how you described him. He'll come back and you'll have a great chance to face him and Duckyoung High again. Trust the process, remember?" I feel relieved when she says these words. They're the ones she uses to lift me up when I'm in need.

She has a point, anyway. Saehyeon isn't the kind of person who backs down even after the most strenuous challenges. He'll always tackle them with a smile. The way he refused to waver even at the last second is something I admire about him. I hope I can live up to his spirit when we meet again on the pitch.

Out of a sudden, a ping brings me back to reality. A notification from KakaoTalk. Mom, Dad and Jeongyun all leave me on my own. I read the name popping on the screen. Kwon Seoyeon. Weird. I don't think I've heard from her in a while. She is a Duckyoung student. She knows their football team. Is she texting me about Saehyeon?

Unfortunately, my gut feeling is wrong. Seoyeon's message has nothing to do with him. Instead, it says, 'Jeongwook, I'm sorry. Your worst nightmare has come through. Suri played you like a fiddle. She acted all lovey dovey all the time. She actually hates you.'

No... Not Suri! Not now! How could she? I gave her my heart because she was suffering even after she dumped Seongjae with the same means, via text message. Shit! I should've seen through this pattern. I thought I'd be different from Seongjae or the other guys to her.

I don't care if Seoyeon is right or not. I'm done with the double dealing. I'm done with being pushed around. Fuck Coach Yeo. Fuck anyone not standing up to him. And, while at it, fuck Yun Suri.