Author's Note:
Hola peeps! Have a happy reading!

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"RM of BTS has responded to the rumors clearly stating that he is not in any kind of romantic relationship currently. The famous rapper released a statement to the press a few hours ago clearing away all the rumors. The fans adorably called Armys are quite happy with his statement"

I read the same article for the fifteenth time and sighed. Was I just a joke to him? I agree we never confessed to each other but didn't he mean any of his words. Why did he decline everything? Is he ashamed of me?

"You can't sit like a sappy fool and cry all the day, Kate. That guy doesn't deserve you", Alex groaned but I didn't care. I feel so miserable. I have many questions for him, unanswered and complicated. Yet I can't dare to ask him after what he had spoken to the press. 

"He told me he feels so much for me. He told me I cause him that feeling that he missed for years. It hasn't been a day, Alex. It hasn't been a day", I held my face with my palms and buried myself in the gap between my knees. This is hard. Feelings are really worst. They have the capability of making people weak.

"Do you love him?", he asked and I became silent. I don't know. I don't know if I love him but I am strongly attracted to him. There's something in him that draws me so smoothly and effortlessly. 

"I don't know Alex but this is not something I have expected. There are very few men in my life that are important to me, Alex. As much as I don't want to tell it's him, I can't deny the fact. He has created an inevitable impression in my heart", I told him and he pulled me into his embrace.

I held him tight and let out my tears on his chest. Alex is the person whom I depend on. He is the one who is beside me in my weakest times. At times, I feel he is the one who fills the void caused by my father's absence.

He was the only one who supported me in developing the orphanage when many people were against it, even my own mom. He knew my weakest points and my ambitions in the future. He knew I took modeling by pressure and not by interest. 

Fortunately, I found a place in the sun

"I wish Dad was by my side. I wouldn't have been here in the first place. I wouldn't have to suffer in any manner. I wouldn't have met him at all", I cried and felt his fingers brushing my hair. I miss him so much. 

"You wouldn't have met me then. We wouldn't have made the beautiful memories then. Everything happens for a reason, Kate. I know you struggled to put your heart into modeling and tried to convince your mother about the orphanage. I know you went through a hard time balancing your mother's pressure and your father's dream. But you deserve happiness. If not Kim Namjoon from BTS, then Cameron Dallas. He can't be a stumbling block to your happiness, Kate", he mouthed, kissing my hair and I nodded. 

But no one can match the charm of Joon

No one affected me like him

Fuck! I never cried for a guy

"He is not responding to my calls. I took his number from Andrew. He at least owes me an explanation", I blubbered and we pulled out of the hug. He held my shoulders and looked into my eyes. 

"Kate, he is irresponsible. He made you cry. Just the fact that you are crying for the first time in years for a man other than your dad is making me furious. I know he is a nice guy but he caused you sorrow. Sometimes, things just don't happen in our way", he sighed and sat down beside me.

I was called to the agency because of the rumor and Andrew and Stella advised me to stay in the hotel for safety issues. People were angered by the rumor and they are trying to get the profiles of the models in the agency. All the younger female models are asked to stay in hotels until the rumor gets cleared. 

"I like him Alex and I don't know, a part of me still wants to believe him. I want to know his side of the story too", I spoke my thoughts and he smiled. I didn't expect that. I thought he would lash at me for being so down to my feelings.

"Feelings are so confusing and complicated to make us this vulnerable, right Kate? I know the pain. I know the pain too", he spoke and I looked at him in confusion. 

Is Alex seeing someone?

Is he having feelings for someone?

"I wanted to tell this to you for since long but I didn't find the right situation. Now that we are sailing in the same boat, I will reveal everything. Do you remember that day when I couldn't come for the rehearsal?", he asked and I nodded. I remember he couldn't attend it at the last minute.

"I was searching for someone. The new girl who didn't give a damn to me that day. I started talking to her from that day. She is working as a personal maid to one of the male models of our agency", he started and I nodded. I know something about her sparked his interest.

"She is too reserved and always ignored me. It bothered me a lot. Something about her caught my attention and I couldn't get her out of my head. And one day, I caught her being abused by her boss. That guy tried to force himself on her", he revealed and I widened my eyes. Alex hid so much from me.

"I fought for her but she lost the job. She was angry at me for that and I didn't have another option except for asking her to be a personal maid", he further revealed and my eyes popped out of sockets. 

Is he serious?

"I know it's quite shocking and I sincerely apologize for hiding all this from you. But I didn't know how to explain everything. Days passed and I started catching feelings for her. It's hard to escape from them. They are so annoying", he grumbled and I chuckled. Feelings are really annoying.

"But then, her revelation of her past made me think of my choice twice. It made me furious. She did a grave mistake and couldn't forgive herself. I just can't take that in either", he muttered and I looked at him to continue. 

What did she do that Alex stepped back from everything?

"She is Evelyn's mother", he disclosed, giving me a jolt out of blue. 

What the actual fuck?

"I found about that when I took her to the orphanage. She is guilty but still, a mistake is a mistake. She can't leave a child on her own and I confronted her in anger", he spoke and I nodded. I would have done the same. 

How can she leave a small child in a shoe store?

"I didn't meet her for two days but then decided to call her. She was gone. She left a letter telling me that she would come back some time to pay me back and take Evelyn with her", he took a deep breath and a lone tear escaped his eyes.

"I didn't hear her story. I realized I took out all the anger on her. She did wrong but I am no one to confront her. I searched everywhere to find her, to get back to her, to hear her, and to talk about Evelyn. But she left and was out of reach. It's hard now that I am so used to her presence", he sighed and I placed my hand on his shoulder. There are still some parts that felt confusing to me but I don't want to remind him of them. He must be feeling stressed with all that happened to him.

"I am so sorry for not being able to be by your side. I am really sorry for not knowing what is happening in your life", I apologized and he shook his head, pulling me into another hug.

"Don't be sorry, Kate. I was the one who hid everything from you", he mumbled and I nodded. Life is never easy and everyone has their own phase of shitty problems. 

"What if Joon has an explanation to do?", I asked him and he shrugged his shoulders.

"I am mad at him for hurting you. I don't want to talk about him", he muttered, clenching his fists and I nodded, resting my head on his shoulder. I am glad I met a guy like Alex. 

"Alex", I called him as he got down the bed. 

Where is he going?

"Take rest, Kate. I will bring something for you. I have the spare hotel card so you can lock the door. You know you should be safe", he spoke in a concerned tone and I nodded. The hotel is just two blocks away from the agency, for the reason of any uncalled emergency.

I sighed and looked at the articles again. This is so paining. Why did I even fall for an idol when I know it would be a complicated affair? Ugh! Could you just come and tell me that all of it is a lie? I am just not able to take these stupid thoughts out of my head. And now I wonder,

Did he mean all of those words he confessed?

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Namjoon wants to say you something