Author: Miss_WordDreamer
Reviewer: The_Sarcastic_Girl_
Genre : General Fiction
No. of chapters read: 5/12

|This review can be little harsh and rude, but it's my personal opinion and I'm being honest, so please don't mind my words and do consider the points I mentioned.|

Cover :

Cover is one of the most important element when it comes to judging a book as it helps in catching reader attention. I'm one of the reader, who sometimes land in the stories because of the book cover. So, in my point of view, your book cover is good and it's very well suited with the light theme of your story. No doubt, your book cover can easily attract the readers to read the book.

So, excellent work by the designer!

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Title :

The title is simple, long and less eye-catching. Title is one that makes cover look good and catches readers attention. Although, it's a good title but not very impressive.

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Description :

I personally prefer to read a story after reading its description. So, for me, the description wasn't up to the mark.

It's cliché, boring and too cheesy for my taste. Description should be something which give readers an insight of story yet doesn't reveal much about the story.

People who doesn't like cliché stories, they will never give a chance to this story just after reading its description. So, you need to work on this part.

Things which I found contrasting in your blurb was, that you wrote at the end of the blurb, that, this story contains a very LITTLE drama and the two neighbour fall SLOWLY in love with each other. But reading the starting part of your blurb, it told a lot different story.

For an instance, your blurb was,

Reading your blurb, it highlighted the phrase, "Love at first Sight," and not falling in love with each other, slowly and steadily. Moreover, the blurb was loaded with dramas. Like, you bump into someone, he hold you from waist, protecting you from falling down. Your eyes meet. World get blur around you. Gentle breeze blowing, and he tucking your hair strand behind your ear which fell on your face due to the breeze.

You getting what I wanted to say here? That this all doesn't happen in reality. World doesn't get blur and you don't just keep looking in someone's eyes, forgetting the world. And even if you bump, you don't tend to fall on the ground (experienced). So, I guess, it needs a bit modification. As it is appearing higgly contrasting to each other.

Suggestion : You can write like, "Niharika who aspired to be a surgeon moved to Chandigarh... where she meet Mayank, her neighbor! "

Few more details you can add about their characters or life according to your story. But make sure it should not reveal much about your story!

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Plot :

Highly common plot— two neighbors who fall in love! Even the scenes are too cliché, which make the plot unpleasing to the reader. A different plot attracts reader. Try to make it a little different.

Now, I know you won't change the entire plot as only few of the many people change the whole plot after writing so many chapters nor I'm gonna force you because it is not that bad. But, you can always makes some ammendments.

Personal Opinion: Like you can show for Niharika, her beliefs matter the most. And also, she is the girl who always listens to her parents and never went against them. And now, when they are against her love, you don't know what to do. So it can be like, when you find the right one, the world goes against you, because love demands sacrifice. Or something related to this. Or anything different, for which you don't have to change your story plot but a slight of storyline.

And such slight ammendments you can make, in your happy dappy story.

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Storyline :

First, you need to work on your characters. To carry out a story line properly, a character growth is necessary. But here the characters doesn't have any base.

Yes, half of the time, I don't understand their behavior. Slow down a bit and try to figure what's the base of your character and how to portray them.

Scenes are very cliché like I said, you need a proper storyline to make this story stable. Because for me,the story is totally unstable. Even the story is going too fast forward. You need to slow down a bit and try to work on your plot holes. Since, I have read only five chapters so I feel you can do more well if you stop a bit and think the changes you need to do in this story!

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Grammar:

You need to work on the grammar part as there were many errors in tenses and specially in punctuations which cannot be ignored. Overall, it was a pleasant read through but still needs high editing.

|Advice|

It's my personal opinion,I've no intention of hurting anyone. As, you have started this story as fan fiction that's why you got a quite number of response at first but generally these type of stories doesn't get much recognition in general fiction. And that's the difference of general fiction and fan fiction. So, please be patience and don't lose HOPE my dear, response doesn't come so easily in general fiction as it is much broader platform than fan fiction.

Fan fiction readers are not choosy like general fiction readers. Fan fiction readers can read whatever the writer present them! For them, it's just only about their favorite couple not about the content or story (not intended to hurt any reader, but I'm being honest).

And I believe, as a writer, you need to work where you lack. Sometimes, I read my stories keeping myself in reader's position, that I'm satisfied with this scene or not! A good writer knows how to turn a simple plot in a beautiful story!

I don't regard myself as a good writer, because I feel there are many things we are still unaware of and we need to learn so many new things everyday! And it's only possible when we start to see our mistakes and try to correct them.

Thank you!❤ I hope, this review helped.

Payment:-

A Follow.

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Hope, you like our works and found this review worth.

Have a great day❤

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