Author : Confused_Soul_Kriya

Review : sapphiresnow_

Chapters : 6 ( including prologue)

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☆Cover☆

The cover is good but it could be better. The cover is divided into three different portions.

While upper portion is bright and shiny, there middle and lower portions are black and white, making the lower portion look dull. And as a reader, it's a turn off to me.

Even the fonts could be a little better. The title is misspelled in the cover. It's written, "Pati Patni Woh". There's no "Aur" in the cover.

Even the author name isn't included in the cover. So, I will suggest you to change the cover.

☆Title☆

The story is based on Indian film, 'Pati Patni Aur Woh' film, so there's no doubt that the title is apt for the story.

Although it doesn't similar like the film but still it's also revolve around a married couple and a third person between them. But still, you could put a little effort in title rather following the same title of film.

And please note that, you don't have to punctuation in title. That's unnecessary.

☆Blurb☆

A blurb is an important aspect of story, which gives insight of story and also doesn't reveal much about story.

But here, it wasn't a blurb. It's just a simple description of the story which can anyone guess by seeing the cover. So, it failed to make me curious to read further.

So, I will suggest you to work on your blurb.

☆Plot☆

The story is based on Indian film, "Pati Patni Aur Woh". Although there's a difference between story and film so I think it would be early to judge the plot. But I liked the way you tried to do something with the plot. So good luck with your story.

☆Storyline☆

You have started this story with a character sketch. As a writer, I always have believed characters are something that can't be describe in one or two words. In fact, it's really difficult to portray a character in just few words. That's why, I believe we should let the readers explore the characters by themselves. So, in my opinion, character sketch isn't needed here.

You have wrote a prologue at the starting of story. But this isn't a prologue, I guess you have little confusion between prologue and synopsis. Prologue is more a detailed chapter than synopsis which is more like a blurb.

The first chapter starts with Anurag and Komolika, you have explained the scenes carefully with much amount of detail. You didn't rushed anywhere, but I felt emotions could be more deep. The lack of emotion made the chapter little dull.

But from the second chapter, the story seems little unstable. I couldn't neither understand Anurag or Prerna character. Like Prerna suddenly become interested in Anurag's life then she didn't want to work with him because he's married. I agree she was cheated by someone so trusting him may be difficult.

But that doesn't mean she wouldn't work with everyone who is married, so I felt you couldn't justify her behavior regarding that issue.

Coming to Anurag, why suddenly he said that his wife had extra marital affair? Just because of deal, that's sound too absurd. I felt, it's too soon for this twist. You can make this story more better, just take little time and work on your plot holes and characters.

☆Grammar☆

There are few grammatical errors which can be corrected by quick proof reading and editing. There are some places, where sentence formations is wrong.

e.g : "Come in," he admitted. ✖

"Come in," he ordered. ✔

'Admitted' means accepting something like confession. So, the sentence doesn't make sense. Other than that, I noticed you have two three dialogues without giving any space.

e.g : "Why not?" "Wouldn't you let me come?" ✖

"Why not? Wouldn't you let me come?"

The sentence should be written in a dialogue or should have leave a space before starting another dialogue. There are also few where you should have leave a space but you didn't. I will suggest you to edit your story.

Payment : A permanent follow ( which you already did)

A geniune feedback on my book, "When A Perfect Plan Goes Wrong."

A shout out to our community book.

I hope the review was helpful. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to review your book. And I apologise for the delay.

Also, I am sorry if I have offended you. I hope you take this review optimistically.

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