Author: sristy_29

Reviewer: Miss_WordDreamer

Chapters read: 14

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✒️ Cover

The cover is beautiful, the colours, the quality of pictures, blending and all everything is on point. And the fact that all the three main characters are included is like a cherry on the top.

And then comes Heer ofcourse, who has made your cover. She is one of my favourite cover makers. So all in all, well done over here.

✒️ Title :

The title is simple small and crisp. And that's an amazing thing. Small titles are more appealing for sure.

On top of that the fact that the title is completely related to the story, is great. The title tells us how Manik is like a hero for Nandini. And that is what you have shown in the story as well, like he does everything in his hand to make sure that their relationship stays.

✒️ Blurb:

The Blurb is good I'll say, not the best, but not that bad as well. It was simple, sober and sweet, which I like. You didn't give much about the story yet gave an overview of what it is gonna be like.

One thing that I didn't like was that there was a lot of repetition. The sentences that were written in English were repeated in hindi in the next sentence. And I think that is not required. Repetition of things sometimes tend to irritate the reader.

✒️ Plot:

The plot is really simple, a boy and a girl love each other and want to take their relationship further. But either of their family doesn't agree and in order to woo them they do some stuff.

But what's different in here is that generally it's the rich child's parents who don't agree with their child's choice whereas here Manik's mother supported him all through.

✒️ Storyline:

First of all, I loved the start, I loved how you started by making Manik realise why he should propose to Marry Nandini. Later you slowly developed the characters showing that Manik is this loving and caring person, who has a golden heart. Whereas Nandini is this cute bubbly baby, both ready to fight for their love and never giving up.

Though I didn't really understand that how Manik is so perfect in every sense, even the recent fight that they had, Manik seemed to be the right person and not Nandini. I still hope to read more about his character because no one in this world is perfect.

✒️ Grammar:

There were alot of mistakes, not just grammatical but spelling mistakes as well. Just like one is in your description only. You have written "Affords" but it should have been "efforts". Looks like you are mixing up with words because these are two very different things.

And an example for grammatical error would be from your description only. You have written "Is same goes with love?" but instead it should have been "Does the same goes with love?"

Another problem is that there is the use of multiple tenses. See when you write a story, you gotta maintain the tense. So you can either keep it in present, past or future. This is like the first rule. You can't use multiple tenses together. That you did at some places, like in chapter 1 you wrote somewhere "my friends start laughing" whereas the next line is in past.

✒️ Writing style:

Your writing style is just like other writer, which I like. I mean the classic one, that is the dialogs are in double colloms and all. But you have a habit of putting in too much of full stops and exclamtory marks, which make it difficult to read and even the story doesn't look that good on first look.
Even I used to do that when I just started writing till one of my closest friends pointed out. And since then I haven't ever. She helped me and I hope this point of mine helps you.

✒️ Fascination:

I really loved the fact that you didn't show Manik as a rich spoilt brat. Because that's what most of the stories do. This was something unique. And also seeing nyonika in a supporting role was also a shocker.

✒️ Overall:

All in all the story is good, with a good plot and good dialogs but just needs editing a lots of editing. I wish you all the luck for future. And I promise I'll catch up soon with the story.

Payment:

You need to read my book "Under the stars" and give a review of 4-5 lines at the end of the last chapter.

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