Author :- 000_aamira
Reviewer :- Shivani_SwaSan

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Cover :-

The cover is a creative one that gives a more clear view of what's there in store for the readers. The pics selection is upto mark but the main pic of Nandini smiling makes it look like the title and plot are running in opposite directions. I think the cover seems slightly overcrowded with all the sharp effect and photos. But rest of the things are good.

A nice work but can be made a little more appealing to eyes ❤

Title :-

The title is a little common but goes well with the story, as it reflects Manik and Nandini's struggles in love throughout the story but I think it can be better if it's 'Obstacles in Love' instead. The grammatical error here is prominent. But still, a good try.

Blurb :-

The blurb/synopsis is okay, with you giving an idea of the plot and storyline of the book. But I personally think that the blurb really needs lot of improvement. It has grammatical errors which can make a reader lose interest in the story in the starting itself. I'm not pointing out anything specifically because editing is needed in almost every area of the blurb.

Plot + Storyline + Creativity :-

The plot is on a sensitive issue that revolves around Manik and Nandini, a married couple since five years who are unable to conceive. With them and also Manik's grandmom wanting a child desperately, they find themselves and their love at trouble. It's heartbreaking to see Nandini okay with Manik having a second marriage so that they can have a heir for their family but I also like how Manik is firm on his decision of not leaving Nandini's side ever.

The storyline is fine, with you giving some hints in the beginning itself that their love and happiness was being threatened by their fate. Their wish for having a child and their emotions for it is well portrayed though the portrayal can be better. I liked seeing the little nokjhoks they share from time to time as well as their immense love for each other. What angered me was Manik's Dadi in later chapters. How can she plan to get Manik remarried only so that she can have her great grandson... okay, I understand she wants her child at any cost but it's still highly unacceptable (I wish she could see Manik's happiness that he can find only with Nandini) But I love how Manik supports Nandini no matter what his Dadi or Ayaan say to him.

Only one issue... something about how the story is presented seems very off. There are many grammatical errors that need serious attention. I think the story can be presented in a much better way, if grammar, presentation and narration factors are given more attention. Even their emotions need more attention.

(there is no problem if the story is your first draft. Then it just needs editing, that too if your writing style is better now)

If we keep these three things aside, then the story is quite good and there is a feeling of curiousity to see what will happen next. I also like the creativity of the story. There are just some bits and pieces about it that need attention.

Grammar + Dialogues :-

Grammar in your story can play a major role in degrading a reader's interest. I was liking the story but somehow the grammar kept coming in between and my flow kept on breaking.

It would be better if you separate your author notes from the main story. Maybe a series of dots or something like ' --- ' will do.

Frame sentences well. This one is much needed. There are also lot of vocabulary mistakes and also tense errors -- like at some places you used present tense and at some places you used past tense.

Please use punctuations. There is no full-stop in the story to complete the sentences, which is actually the most important one.

At some places you ended up joining a dialogue with sentences that narrated what happened next. For eg, if I pick up one of the lines from your book...

[ Aneri she sees everywhere that no one is here shalini chl tere room mein jaakr baat krte hai dadi also said ohkk they both goes dadi room (and so on) ]

I would suggest please don't do this. These mistakes are exactly what can make someone lose their interest while reading your story. There are also many spelling errors.

But what I loved was the dialogue delivery. There are some dialogues that really touched me. For instance, the one when Nandini and Manik had an emotional conversation regarding his second marriage after they talked with their Dadi... and Manik telling Nandini that the happiness of having his child, his blood in his arms would mean nothing if his Nandini wasn't there by his side. I also liked how Rajveer described the feeling of having our own child in our arms (maybe in chapter two or three). You described those feelings well. You have a very good grip in dialogue delivery, so keep it up..!!

So overall, it was a good story and can be much better if grammar is given more attention!! ❤

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In the following days I'll post my other pending reviews...

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