"We're a family like no other,
We were a Greek tragedy,
A story told in hushed tones,
Woven in a tapestry of agony."

*******************

Lilly's POV

My gaze drifted downward, flickering away from the doctor's face, anchoring onto the floor as I absorbed everything he uttered. I battled fiercely against the urge to let his words puncture the bubble of hope swelling within my chest.

A dryness settled in my throat as he carried on, "You should be really grateful, your case is one in a hundred," He said, like I was special or something, his words hinting on a notion a bit absurd; that I somehow clawed my way out of death's grasps. Did I, really? Was that not a—dream?

"I can see this is a lot to take in at once," He added, easing me back into all of this, "But on the first night you got here, with your low stats, to be honest, I thought we were going to lose you," He added, his negative words made mom's worry push back in. She tightened her arm around me, sniffling lowly as she kissed my head again. I tightened my grip over her hand, silently assuring her that all was good, I was fine and I was here. What the hell is wrong with him, aren't doctors supposed to be more positive and empathetic or something?

"The hard part is over, but we still have a long way ahead," He added, causing me to look back up at him, still in the process of digesting every word he was saying, "Recovery won't be easy," He added, "And I'll need you to be fully committed and determined during this upcoming period," I swallowed hard, the weight of his words settling heavily upon my weak shoulders, "But rest assured that with the right treatment and physiotherapy, you will be walking on your two feet even better than before."

He explained something about the bullet grazing my spine, about it hitting a vital nerve, which made me come to terms with the immense pain I've been feeling since I pried my eyes open. The difficulty in flexing my legs or even moving them the slightest bit now made sense.

Each passing moment seemed to amplify the dryness in my throat as the doctor outlined the long hard road to recovery. He said it's only temporary, a matter of time, that with good care and commitment, I can go back to my old life, but it will take time, that's all. The time that I now have. The time that almost got stolen away from me.

His many words only added stress to the people surrounding me and I couldn't be more relieved when he finally finished his medical speech and was ready to head out. Max was first to get up to his feet, picking up my chart and going through it, making the doctor pause as he tried to argue over something with him.

The doctor smiled wholeheartedly and tapped his hand over Max's shoulder, "I get that you're worried about your sister, but you don't have to, she's in safe hands," He assured, "I've been doing this since before you were born."

"Yeah, still," Max didn't give up, pointing out at something in my charts, "I think increasing the dosage of Robaxin could help and why is the Neurontin's dosage this much high, it cou-" Max carried on and the doctor gave us a help-me look before he excused himself, trying to escape which only pushed Max to follow after him, still playing doctor himself and arguing over my medications.

I forced back a smile and glanced between Mom and Dad, noticing the palpable shift in their demeanor after the doctor's speech, "God, imagine what he'll do after he graduates," I remarked lightly, gesturing towards Max's fervent discussion with the doctor over my medications.

I tried to keep my tone playful to reassure them that despite the challenges I was about to face, I could still navigate my way through.

I desperately needed to be the positive one, because it seemed that everyone around me had been to hell, back and forth, in these past days.

I sank into Mom's hold as she pulled me even closer, kissing my head again and again, unable to get enough and she lowly whispered against my skin, assuring us both, "You're okay, baby, thank god, you're okay..."

My eyes flickered to Dad, whose gaze was lost somewhere far away, looking at nothing in particular, the muscle of his jaw tight as his troubled thoughts took the best of him. I reached for him, and my hand gently rested over his arm, "Dad," I mumbled, attempting to pull him back to me.

He blinked and turned to look at me, his eyes meeting my own before they flickered over my face, still grappling with the idea that I was here and awake, right next to him, breathing and speaking to him. I gave him a small warm smile, "I think you should go save the doctor from Max," I added with a playful tone, but neither my words, nor my relaxed expression eased the worry or the stress eating him up.

He nodded his head, agreeing and needing anything to keep him off the edge. He inched closer, his hand going behind my head, and carefully left a tender kiss on my forehead, "I'll be back," He murmured assuringly before he got up to his feet and headed out of the room and after Max.

I forced my gaze away from his anxious retreating back, my eyes drifting to Chase, who was standing by the bed's side, his eyes already on me, "I should go tell my parents as well," He said, and god he looked so tired, I wanted to wrap him up and take him far away from all this messiness I brought into his life.

I nodded my head, smiling still. He mirrored my smile but his was a bit somber and exhausted, tugging at my fragile heart.

A minute or two passed but he still hadn't moved. My eyebrow raised playfully, "You're still here," I pointed out and he nodded, a low breath of air pushing out of his chest and parting his lips, "Yeah, it's kind of hard to leave," He whispered, unable to break the spell and move away from my side. I have a feeling he never left it since I got in here. The notion broke my heart even more, and emotions pressed behind my eyes, betraying the positive façade I was trying to pull.

Mom turned her head and looked at him, smiling softly at him. He returned her smile and glanced at me, "I'll be back," He said and I nodded my head, "And I'll be right here," I reassured. Not that I can move my legs and go anywhere.

Okay, no, positive thoughts, Lilly. Positive thoughts.

Chase walked out of the room and I turned my head back to my mom, who glanced at his retreating back before she faced me. Her lips twitched, the corners pulled up into a very beautiful smile and she carressed my hair, tucking it behind my ear, "I'll never partake in your father and Katherine's bet," She started, her tone becoming playful and she brushed the top of my cheek, "But he never left your side," She said, proving my earlier thoughts right, "He is a keeper."

I nodded my head, my eyes misting with tears, "I know," I whispered.

I brought my hand to her cheek and wiped off the leftover tears she'd shed for me, "No more tears, okay," I mumbled, unable to comprehend the number of times I'd made her cry since I got back, "It's all okay, I am fine."

She nodded her head, edging closer, and left another kiss over my temple and pecked my cheek, "I love you so much," She whispered and I rested my eyelids, breathing, in and out as I leaned into her embrace, "I love you too, mom."

My head rested against her chest and she ran her hand through my hair, ever so soothingly, her touch was magic too, because suddenly, I couldn't feel the pain in my back, "You were all I had, you know," She whispered, ever so lowly, reflecting her inner thoughts out, "In those years that I was away from your father," She added and I pressed my eyes tighter, stopping my tears but they pushed through.

"You were the only thing that got me going," She added and every physical pain got replaced by an inner more excruciating one, pressing over my chest and ripping at my heart, "You are the only thing that made me smile, that made me want to wake up every day and kept me alive," She added, "Without you, I would've just given up a long time ago, Lilly."

I pulled my head up to look at her, to watch similar emotional tears gather in her eyes as she gazed at me, and I couldn't comprehend it, couldn't believe it, how small little me, who knew nothing, who understood nothing, how that little human affected so many lives; Hers, dad's and even Nikolas's. They all said it, they all keep saying it.

It's unfathomable, how that same little girl had hurt them as equally as she once healed them.

"I am so sorry, mom," I murmured ever so brokenly, and I wasn't sure what exactly was I apologizing for. Everything, maybe. All of it. From beginning till end.

She shook her head, and held my face in her warm soft hands, "No, Lilly, you don't have to apologize," She shook her head again, "You were pushed into a war that's much bigger than you," She said, "A one much older than you," She said, "You see, this world, the one that our parents belonged to, the one Emma and Roman are leading right now, that world took so much from all of us, and when I was forcefully pushed into it, I made my fair share of mistakes too," She said, and I absorbed every word, because we were finally talking about it.

We were addressing the biggest elephant in the room.

All this time, they tried to sweep it under wraps, they shielded us away from it, trying to protect us from something so inevitable. But it was predestined, and out of their control. Just like Nathan said, this tragedy, it runs in our blood, it's encoded into our very DNA. There is no escaping it.

"Back then, I also felt like it was all just my fault," She carried on and I intently listened, needing her words more than anything, "That I ruined it all, and I felt this immense responsibility to fix it, fix everything," She shook her head, "But every time I tried to, I ended up ruining it more," She said, "Do you know why, Lilly," She added, "It's because this world, it doesn't go by rules, it's dark and ruthless, and we were never prepared or equipped for such a life."

"So, we make mistakes. You know, it's similar to walking the streets of a foreign land, you don't know the language, nor your destination, so you simply wander around, attempting to survive," She added, her words making so much sense, "Whichever way you can."

"And Lilly, we never prepared you or your brother for such a life," Her gaze fell down, shaking her head again at this cruel fate, "And god, it sucks, because we tried, we tried so hard to keep this away from you, all of us," Guilt wove into her words, "We didnt want you kids to go through what we went through, but we couldn't do that right either."

I shook my head, "No, Mom, you didn't do anything wrong," I immediately addressed the self-blame in her voice, "You gave us the best life, you gave us everything, none of this is your fault," I said, "I can't even...I can't imagine how our lives would've been without you and Dad," My earlier conversation with Chase about this topic pushed to the forefront and I felt like I could unravel all over the place.

It reminded me of how Christian lived such a life, and even...even Nathan did too.

They had no one.

The lump in my throat grew and expanded as I went over the last events before this, at how I drugged Christian, at how I aided them capture Nathan. I couldn't dwell on the thought for too long when a low knock echoed before footsteps got closer. I immediately wiped at my cheeks, trying to regain composure before my eyes fell on Sally, then to Conner right behind her.

Sally's tearful eyes met mine and she rushed forward so fast, snapping the air out of my lungs as she wrapped her arms around me, "Oh my god, Lilly," She mumbled with a chocked voice, her tight embrace paining me a bit but I savored it nevertheless.

She pulled back, sniffling as she gazed at me, "You know how much I hate making new friends, you can't leave me, okay," She mumbled and I smiled at her silliness, nodding my head as I held her hand, "I am not going anywhere."

My eyes flickered from her to Conner, "You guys didn't have to come all the way here," I whispered, unable to fathom how everyone left everything behind and came across the ocean to see me.

Mom backed a bit, allowing me to have this little moment with my friends. Conner paused right next to my bed, "You know how much I hate flying yet I came all the way here for you," He said, trying to act all nonchalant, his eyebrow arching, "That must show you how much I care for you."

I nodded my head, my lips twitching, "Yeah, you're the best son ever," I said, my words urging him to chuckle lowly before he leaned closer, his arms going around me in a tight warm hug, "And you're an okay mother," He mumbled sarcastically, making me playfully smack his back.

He edged backward and gave me a wink while Sally kept gazing at me, bringing her hand forward, caressing my face, brushing my hair, touching me, almost like checking if I was real. My heart swelled and soared at all of their love and affection.

Before I could absorb all of this, Sally was pulled back and someone hugged me so tight, suffocating me again.

"It's my turn," Auntie Katherine said and I chuckled lowly at her feverishness as I tried to wrap my arms around her as well.

She pulled back an edge and looked at me, emotions pressing into her cloudy eyes, before she leaned down and kissed my face multiple times, "You scared me so much," She mumbled, making me smile amid all the pain intensifying over my back. It's just, that she always treated me like I was her very own daughter and I loved her so much, not just because she gave me Chase, but because she was so warm and so understanding and so loving.

"You almost gave the 500 bucks back to Dad, huh," I whispered with a playful voice and she broke into a somber smile and shook her head, "I almost lost my chance at grandkids," She said back, with the same playful tone, causing me to chuckle lowly. God, even laughing hurts.

Stressed lines etched between her eyebrows, "I am so glad you're okay," She mumbled, her tone more serious, the emotional tears in her eyes trying to push through and she hugged me again, savoring this little moment for as long as she could.

"Okay, let the girl breathe," Uncle Ashton said, tugging at her arm and prying her away from me.

She narrowed her eyes at him and his gaze fell on me, his lips pulled up into a very warm rare smile of his, "Hey you," He said, nudging Katherine aside so he could get closer.

"Hey," I whispered back.

His hand rested at the side of my hair, leaning down to press a gentle kiss over the top of my head, "You got us all very scared, you know," He murmured, "I thought I lost my favorite employee," He added with a playful edge and I chuckled lowly.

Katherine lightly punched his arm, "That's what you're worried about, really?" She scolded him.

He turned to her, "Hey, Lilly and I have our own unique dynamic over here, don't interfere," he said, before he glanced at me and winked.

I smiled, "So I am not fired yet?"

He shook his head, "No way," He said as he carressed the top of my hair, "Actually, I have good news for you, but not now, later, okay?" He added and I nodded my head, feeling slightly nervous all of a sudden, "Okay."

"Okay that's it, too many people in here, too many people," A foreign voice interjected into our moment, footsteps getting closer and I turned my head to look at the nurse, who looked disapprovingly between the crowd as she walked closer to me, "I will need you all to get out, the girl needs to rest," She said strictly and I heard whines and whispers from left and right.

The nurse paused by my bed, her strict demeanor shifted to a smile as she looked at me, "Hey beautiful," She said, ever so sweetly, "How are we feeling," She added as she checked my IV, adjusting something before she injected an additional medicine into it.

I shrugged, "Good, somehow," I mumbled, trying not to reflect my multiplying pain out loud and worry all of these people.

She understood that I was in pain and gave me an assuring nod, "I just administered your medication. It will help with the pain and help you better relax," She said and I offered her a grateful smile, "Thank you."

She turned her head to them, "Come on, people, we need our patient to rest," She started to kick them out, one by one, and I was kissed by each one again on their way out. One person only stayed and the nurse glared at him, "You won't be leaving, I guess?"

Chase shook his head, ready to fight everyone over this, and the nurse looked at me, sighing loudly, "This man of yours gave me a headache in the past days," She said and my lips twitched, "He would never leave your side, so you better deal with him," She added, giving Chase one last warning look before she left.

I tried to fix my pillow and relaxed into its comfy texture, my eyes on Chase as he edged closer to me. I extended my arm forward, my hand reaching out for him, "Come here," I urged him to get into the bed with me.

He shook his head, refusing my offer as he settled next to my bed, his hand engulfing my own in a warm tight grip. My lower lip curled in a pout, "Lay down beside me," I said, my voice involuntarily becoming lower, my energy slowly getting depleted.

"You need to rest—"

"I will rest better with you beside me," I interjected and tapped my hand over the wide space next to me, "Come here, please."

Unable to refuse my request again, he got up and ever so carefully positioned himself next to me, his arm moving under my head, urging me to edge closer and plaster my body right against his, fitting us both on the same bed.

"Are you comfortable?" he asked, an underlying fear woven into his voice that he was causing me pain.

"More than you can imagine," I whispered, my head sinking into his chest and at the crook of his neck, my eyelids dropping in exhaustion.

His heart beneath my ear was splintering out of control and I felt his soothing fingers in my hair before he pressed a warm kiss to my head, trying to absorb all of me at once. I edged my head back, shifting it so I could look up at his face. His eyes met my own and I brought my hand up, my fingers resting on the side of his temple, my fingers caressing the corner of his eyes and the tired area below them, "You need to rest too," I mumbled.

The destructive waves of blue in his eyes seemed to subdue, to settle down, resembling an ocean's state after the onset of a horrible hurricane; all the ruination, the devastation, and the wreckage etched to every drop of water, speaking volumes of the intensity of what has transpired in the past days.

The longer he gazed at me, the harder it became for him to dim those feelings down and I saw them glistening in his eyes, the waves clashing and raging. The muscles of his jaw moved and worked, tightening as he sought for control but failed. My heart shattered once more as one tear broke through and slowly trickled down, clashing with my fingers. A stuttered breath pushed off my lungs and the feel of his tear alone prompted more to gather in my eyes and involuntarily spill down my face.

He edged his head closer, his forehead pressing into my own, his fingers all bunched up in my hair, our bodies so close, ready to merge into one. I could still hear his erratic heartbeats, taste his pain on my lips, and feel the heartbreak erupt out of him and into me. I ran my fingers up his cheek, down to the side of his hair, feeling and aching for him too because it somehow felt like I'd been gone for ages, not mere days only.

The physical pain was slowly unwrapping from over my nerves and muscles, the medication serving its purpose, but the agony spreading over my chest felt more threatening and overwhelming. I wanted him to be okay, to be happy, why does it always have to be so painful with us?

I sniffled, gazing up at his eyes as I mumbled, "We haven't decided where we're going to go yet," My voice couldn't come out as playful as I intended it to be as I addressed our earlier plan to escape and flee.

Chase's fingers moved over my cheek, wiping my tears away, "And I still haven't gotten you a cake yet," He whispered.

The corner of my lip lifted just enough, "We have all the time in the world for that," I said, my fingers fluttering over his cheek, brushing away his tears, "You ain't getting away without bringing me a cake first, I won't let you," I said, needing to keep positive and hopeful, "But for now, I need you to calm down," I added, a few lines etching between my eyebrows at his current state, "And I need you to breathe, it's all going to be okay," I added, assuringly as it seemed that this had scarred him deeply.

"Lilly, I've never felt more helpless," His words tumbled out, carrying with them the weight of his immense pain, "Watching you from a distance and just waiting, unable to do anything," He shook his head, his jaw tightening again at the desperation, "It was the hardest thing I've ever had to go through, it was like you were slipping right between my fingers and I could do nothing to stop it—"

"But I am here," I said, my hand moving down his face, reaching his chest, and pressing right up against his bleeding heart, the one I loved and loved me, the one I broke and broke me. I wanted to wrap that heart up and keep it somewhere safe and far away from me and this messy life of mine, "And I am not going anywhere," I added with a lower voice this time, scared to challenge fate once again.

He brought his other hand and rested it on top of mine, he sensed my wavering state so he pushed all of those dark thoughts away, "Just try and rest for now, we can talk later," He mumbled, leaning closer and softly pecking my lips.

I sighed into him and tried to relax, my shoulders falling down, my heart's erratic rhythm taking a calmer beat; his closeness and the medications easing down every agitated nerve in my being.

"Hmm," I mumbled lowly as my head sank into his comfy chest, sleepiness taking over rather quickly. With my eyes closed, I moved my hand up to his face, trying to close his eyes as well, "You sleep too," I mumbled lazily and his chest vibrated with a low chuckle at how I probably unknowingly poked his eyes.

I felt myself smile and it didn't take long, I was drifting further away but I still felt him as he tightened his hold around me, and heard him murmur against my skin, "I love you so much, Lilly."

My lips twitched, and I wanted to say a hundred million different things but sleepiness took over and I succumbed to it before I could mutter a single word.

******************

I don't know how many hours passed but when I pried my eyes open again, my whole body was aching like I'd been run over by a truck. I guess that's the long hard way to recovery the doctor spoke of earlier...

I resisted the urge to groan loudly. I blinked my eyes open, kicking the blurriness away and regaining my consciousness. Chase was no longer by my side, I no longer felt him and my eyes drifted around, searching for him.

I found him on the couch on the opposite side, he sat there, the back of his head pressing against the cushion, and his tired eyes on the TV screen across, broadcasting something on a silent volume. He didn't seem to be watching at all, just merely giving his eyes a task to stay open and not fall asleep.

My gaze left him and flickered to the seat located across from my bed, where my dad took place, his gaze focused down and looking through his phone. A low sigh parted his lips and he pushed the phone into his pocket before he brought his hand up and rushed it over his face and his hair, ever so tiredly. He was beyond exhausted, and I didn't know what to do anymore.

He sensed my unwavering gaze focused on him and his eyes flickered up, meeting mine and noticing that I was awake. Instantly, he got up to his feet and walked closer to my side. I tried to shift around and he assisted me by adjusting the bed, helping me get into a seating more comfortable position.

I gazed at him, my lips pulled into a small smile, hoping and wishing to see his own, "How are you feeling?" He asked, softly gazing at me, the stress etched into every corner of his face, "Is there anything paining you?"

I gently reached for his hand in assurance and his fingers twitched at my touch, "No, there isn't," I said, but neither my words nor my smile broke through his worry and agitated state. Is he ever going to give me his smile again or did I lose that too?

My throat burned because I felt that I'd taken things so far this time, to the point of no return any more. My fingers let go of his and my eyes flickered around, "Where is Mom?" I mumbled over a heavy whisper, aiming to change the subject and fill the tense silence.

"I forced her to go rest and eat something," He answered.

I nodded, "Yeah, it's good you did that," I mumbled, too many questions and words fighting to tumble out of my mouth; What about you? Did you sleep? Did you rest or eat? You look one second away from unraveling all over the place...

"Dad—"

Before I could voice my worry out loud, the sound of his phone ringing broke through our moment. His jaw tightened slightly and he pulled it out, "It's your mother," He mumbled, answering her phone call immediately and exchanging a couple of words with her before he hung up.

His exhausted eyes fell back into mine, "I'll go pick her up and be back," He said, his eyes flickering all over my face and I nodded my head, "Okay," I mumbled lowly.

His eyes flickered to Chase, "You stay here by her side," He said and Chase nodded, his wary eyes taking notice of Dad's very clear wavering state as well.

My heart broke all over again, not sure of what I could do, or how I could do it, unaware of how to reach for him and pull him out of that very dark pit. It seems that every time I try to, I hurt him more and I can't possibly hurt him again. Tears stung my eyes and I tried to kick them away as I gazed at his retreating back as he left to pick Mom up.

My gaze went from him to Chase beside me, "He is not okay," I mumbled and Chase nodded his head, acknowledging this fact, "He is not."

"What should I do?" I asked, feeling ever so helpless.

Chase sat at the bed's edge, right next to me, a low sigh parted his lips, "Just talk to him, Lilly," He said, "About everything," He added, "He needs you more than anyone right now."

I sniffled, trying to kick the endless tears away, and nodded my head, "I w—"

The knock on my door interrupted my words, and my head turned around, taking notice of the new presence. My eyes met his green ones and something heavy tugged at my heart again. His once-hard features softened instantly at my sight, and his eyes stayed on my own, trying to absorb the fact that I was awake and here.

Nikolas's throat bobbed, heavy and strained, and it took him a long moment to suck into his next breath, suffocating too under the waves of this cruel fate, silently drinking into the feedback of all that happened and is happening still. His fingers on the side twitched so he curled them into a tight fist, seeking control amid this chaos.

His eyes finally let go of me and briefly drifted to Chase next to me. I turned my head to Chase as well, softly requesting, "Can you give us a minute please," I mumbled.

Chase's eyes flickered from Nikolas and to me, he nodded his head, "Yes, sure," He said, leaning closer and leaving a soft kiss over my temple before he left my side, getting up to his feet, and walking away. His eyes stayed on Nikolas, both of them exchanging a look, that for the very first time wasn't hostile or threatening.

Chase clicked the door shut behind him, Nikolas's gaze flickered from the closed door and fell back on me. On heavy footsteps, he edged closer, pausing only when was right next to me, the same thing pulling him closer felt like it was pushing him away.

My lips lifted slightly, "Hey," I mumbled.

My voice seemed to break through his strength and he dropped into the empty space next to me, a stuttered breath pushing off his lungs as his arms went around my body, hugging me ever so tightly, clinging to me, almost like I could slip away from him any second now. His big hand cradled the back of my head and I brought my arms around him, hugging him as well. My eyelids closed and the tremor that passed through me felt like it was his own.

Words, weren't his favorite things, so he silently tried to absorb all of me in, his arms unwilling to let me go just yet and I relaxed into his embrace, my emotional tears spilling down and wetting his shirt. I felt...I am not sure what I was feeling, to be honest. I felt high on emotions, high on the medications and I felt so very unworthy of everyone's love, like I was a fraud, an imposter that's so scared of getting caught...

Nikolas edged back, his tortured gaze flickering all over my face, his hand brushing the hair away from my face. I sniffled, "To be honest, I thought I'd see you earlier," I mumbled lowly with a small somber smile.

He nodded his head, "I know," He said, "But your father doesn't want me to be here, so I had to sneak my way in," He added, his words etching lines on my forehead, "What?" I felt my heart sink into my stomach, "Are you and Dad fighting...because of me?" I asked, recalling our last not-very-pleasant encounter together.

Nikolas shook his head, dismissing it away, "Don't worry about it, I know how to fix things between Alex and me," He said, pushing the topic far away for now, "The important thing is that you are okay now," He breathed into his last words, shaking his head as he brushed my cheek, "Losing you was never an option, Lilly." It was almost like he was ready to fight death itself for me.

He edged closer, his hand going behind my head and he pressed a soft kiss to my forehead. He sucked into a deep calming breath and I weakly said, "I am fine, don't worry," I tried to stay the positive hopeful one, to give light to those around me who needed it but I was slowly losing the sense of that part in his presence.

His eyes focused on mine, they seemed to pierce through, to read below the surface, to detect that very dark twisted part of me, hiding in a corner deep down and he seemed ready to reach forward and pull it out of me, free me altogether, "Are you really?"

I don't know what it is about him that my walls break and shatter in his presence. Something about his question and the strength of his tone urged me to let go of that fake positive vibe and I broke down with the truth, weakly shaking my head, "No," Tears blurred my vision and I shook my head again, my lower lip trembling, "No, I am not."

How could I be fine, when everyone I know is on edge? How could I be fine, when everything feels so out of control and beyond fixation anymore? How could I be fine, when Dad is lost in a state of despair, that I don't know how to pull him out of?

How could I be fine, when the bullet that pierced through me seemed to hurt him a hundred times more?

How could I be fine, with Chase so broken?

How could I be fine, with Noah gone?

How could I be fine, with the fact that I was capable of hurting someone, of stabbing Nathan, of aiding them capture a dying man, of manipulating Christian?

How could I be fine, when I keep trying to move my legs and failing?

I am not fine, not at all.

Nikolas engulfed me in his big arms and I sobbed and cried into his embrace, "I am so scared," I mumbled into his chest, my tears uncountably falling and soaking his shirt once more, "I am so scared of everything."

He pulled back and cupped my face between his hands, trying to brush my tears away, "You don't have to be, I will fix it all. I promise, you don't have to be scared, Lilly, I will take care of it all."

I shook my head, "You can't fix everything," Some things can't be fixed after they've been broken a hundred times.

He nodded, "I can and I will, I promise," He said, the intensity in his voice almost made me believe that he was capable of changing it all, "Just tell me, what it is, what are you scared of and I will fix it, I will do anything."

I sniffled, bringing my hand to my face and wiping the tears away, "I want my dad to be okay again," I mumbled ever so brokenly, "I want him to be like he was, before all of this," I added, ready to give everything up to see his warm genuine smile again, "Before I came back and ruined everything," I said, "I want his happy smile back, I want to take that very heavy weight from over his shoulders, for him to stop worrying, for him to not have any reasons to worry anymore."

I shook my head, "He is so broken, you should see him, he is not okay—"

The devastation in my eyes reflected off his own and he shook his head, "How can he be okay, Lilly?" He said, "He almost lost Max, and now he almost lost —you," He added, "You two are his whole world, how do you expect him to be okay with any of this."

I shook my head, "Then, what can I do?"

Nikolas shook his head, "You can't blame yourself for this," He said, so sure that I wasn't the bad one here, but I was, how could he not see how I flipped their lives upside down, "I know Alex, and I know exactly why he is like this and what he is feeling right now," He said, "He is blaming himself."

Why would he?

"He is blaming himself for you being in this state, for you getting hurt, for you being in pain," He added, "It's what parents tend to do, Lilly," His thumb brushed the top of my cheek, getting rid of the last persistent tear there, "When we feel like we have failed you, when we realize that we can't protect you from everything, that there are things beyond our control, it scarps bits and pieces out of us, it shatters and breaks us down."

"But," I mumbled, "But you didn't fail us, all of you, you all made so many sacrifices to ensure we'll be okay," I said, looking at him, "You chose to stay away from us to keep us safe, you chose to never see Max or me, just to eliminate the probability of us knowing and getting hurt."

Agony twisted his features and he shook his head, "But it didn't work."

"It did, what happened wasn't your fault, nor Dad's fault, it wasn't anyone's fault," I added. Just like my mom said, it was an ongoing war much older than all of us, fought in the shadows for decades.

"Even Uncle Roman and Emma, they hid their real lives away from us, just to keep us safe," I added, "Mom and Dad, they did everything they could," I shook my head, "You all gave up on many things you wanted, just for us to be okay," I sniffled, unable to grasp the intensity of these feelings consuming me, "We're a family like no other, aren't we? " I added with a small weak smile.

Nikolas nodded his head, "We are," He said, the corner of his lips lifting a notch, "And to think once upon a time, I had none of this," he added, breathless as he tried to grasp at this reality.

My smile grew wider, "And look at you now, you have everyone," I said.

He gazed at me, and he nodded, his smile mirroring my own, "Come here," He said, pulling me to him once again, unable to get enough of me, "Trust me, it will all get better," He assured me once again, "I will do everything I can," He assured, "I will bring Alex back, I promise."

My cheek pressed against his chest and I brought my arm around his waist, sinking into his warm embrace, "Please do that," I mumbled, "If anything happens to him, I don't know what I'd do."

"Nothing will happen, I won't allow it," he reassured, trying to kick my pessimistic thoughts away.

A brief moment of silence passed through us, one I broke as I whispered, "Thank you." I lifted my head to look up at him, his eyes falling back at my own, and lines etched between his eyebrows, "For what?" He asked.

My lips twitched, "For always listening to my very troubling thoughts," I said.

He brushed my cheek, smiling back, "It makes me the happiest man alive that you trust me enough to share those thoughts with me," He said, ever so genuinely.

My head tilted as I gazed at him, still unable to comprehend the connection I have with him, "You and I really share a very different bond, don't we, it's unlike anything else," I mumbled, not knowing how to address that connection, it didn't have a name, it was just so unique, reserved only for the two of us.

My words made his smile grow wider and softer, gazing down at me like I was so precious and he nodded, "We do."

"I really wish you were there as I grew up," I mumbled lowly.

My words dimmed his smile slightly, a bit nostalgic for a past we couldn't get back, "You have no idea how many times I wished for that too," He said, lines etching his forehead at the good and bad memories, "I thought I was doing the right thing back then, I am not so sure of that anymore."

"If not for me, at least it was the right thing for Max," I said.

He gave me a nod, aware of how messier it could've gotten otherwise, "Still," He mumbled lowly, his gaze flickering down before it met mine again, "It sucks so much that he hates me."

"Max is a lot like Dad," I said, shaking my head, "Hate isn't something he excels at," I added, sure of one thing, my brother is not capable of hate. He is angry and bewildered, he is just hurt, that's all. He has the total right to be hurt, and he needs time.

"True, he is so much like Alex," He said, the thought relaxing his tensed shoulders and relieving those stressed lines from over his forehead.

I smiled, "You seem to like that fact," I mumbled.

He nodded, smiling as well, his soft rare ones, "You have no idea."

I don't know what it was, maybe just talking to this man, about everything and anything, it calmed me down in ways I wasn't expecting. Leaning closer to him, he kept his arm around me, savoring this moment for as long as he could. My eyelids fell down, my cheek pressing against his chest, "I don't think I've told you this before," I said, "But I really love you."

"Even though you were away, I feel like I've known you my whole life," I added.

His arm around me tensed, urging me to lift my gaze up to his face, watching a hundred different emotions play in his eyes, eyes I've gotten accustomed to more than I should; they feel so familiar and safe, like a very warm home, and a place I've been to many times before.

"You're unbelievable," He said over a very low whisper.

My eyebrows pulled closer, "What did I do?" My confused tone prompted a smile out of him, one big enough to make the side of his eyes crinkle and he shook his head, "I just love you so much," He said, "You were my little princess, how did you become so big?"

I chuckled lowly, "You still have a small little princess though," I said wholeheartedly and he nodded, his expression turning even softer if possible, "Yeah, but she is gonna become big too, I don't like that," He mumbled, annoyance evident on his face at the mere thought.

I shook my head at him with a smile before I backed into my pillow, and he shifted his body around, settling next to me. I leaned my head against his arm, enjoying this moment for now, the pain in my back and legs feeling insignificant all of a sudden.

"You know," He said, "Even though I wasn't there, but I still watched you grow up from afar."

"So, you were my stalker?" I asked playfully.

"Something like that," He answered, his tone both playful and nostalgic.

My lips twitched before his words pushed and pulled at a very distant memory and my head shot up, looking at him, lines pulling between my eyebrows, "It was you, wasn't it?" I asked in realization, finally coming to terms with it.

My words doubled his confusion, "What?"

"On my birthday, here," I said, "When that drunk man came at me, it was you," I said, "You were the one to beat him up and save me; it was you, wasn't it?"

Realization crossed his face at the old memory and he nodded, "Yeah, it was me," He said, seemingly hesitant, as if scared of my reaction.

My lips spread into a smile, a wistful one, "On that day," I said, "Noah said that you were my guardian angel," I added sombringly. God, I just miss him way too much...I wish I could go back to my dreams where I saw him, but those...they weren't just dreams, were they?

"If I really was that, I would've known how to stop all of this before it happened," He said.

I shook my head, "You could've never known," A question tugged at my brain and I finally voiced it out, "Is he staying with you?"

Nikolas understood immediately how I was referring to Nathan and he nodded his head.

"You still want to help him?" I asked.

He gave me a wary look as he nodded his head.

"I think you should," I said, honestly.

Lines etched his forehead, confused by my sudden change of heart, "Those weren't your words before."

"Yeah, but now that I think of it," I said, seeing it from a whole different point, "If Dad hadn't believed in you and given you a chance, maybe...maybe you wouldn't be here now," I added, "So, maybe Nathan deserves a chance too."

*******************

When my parents got back, Nikolas snuck out before Dad would see him, although I doubt he'd fight him on it still. Conner and Sally came afterward. All of them stayed by my side, taking my mind off everything bad till the night hit and the nurse came and kicked them all out, even Chase, she was ready to call security to drag him out of the room this time.

To avoid further trouble, he walked out as well, promising me that he'd sneak in later on. God, this silly boy was going to ruin my heart all over again, wasn't he?

Having slept for more than enough today, I couldn't close my eyes and rest this time around, my mind rather busy recalling everything, going through every little detail, and wondering about different outcomes. I was way deep in my head that I didn't hear the door click open, nor did I hear the silent steps getting closer to me till it was too late.

The sight of someone in my peripheral vision shook me out of my trance and my body tensed up, my eyes growing wide as they fell on him, expecting everyone to drop by here but not him. My heart pounded in my chest, a rush of emotions crashing over me like a tidal wave.

My fingers tightened over the blanket covering my legs, my gaze quickly shifting to the alarm button at the top of my bed, calculating how long it would take me to reach and press it.

Nathan followed my gaze, sensing my intentions and he pulled his hands out of his pockets, raising them up in surrender and showing me that they were empty, "I am unarmed," he stated, as if that could make me feel better.

I had no idea where he stood in all of this. All I know is that I stabbed him, I helped them capture him, so he might be here for us to get even once again.

My throat burned and I rubbed my hand at it to blunt the sudden ache, "What are you doing here?" I said with an unwavering tone, trying to feign strength; but who was I kidding, even my legs wouldn't help me escape him.

He paused right across from my bed, leaning his back against the wall ahead of me. Lines etched his forehead as he gazed at me, almost like he himself didn't understand why he was here, "I am not sure," Nathan said, his voice lower as he contemplated over something unknown, "I mean usually I don't like you," He said, ever straight forward.

He shrugged, "I still don't."

My eyebrow raised and I crossed my arms over my chest, receiving his insults like I had nothing else better to do, "I mean you are like my least favorite person in the world, so I am confused," He added, tilting his head as he stared at me, like I am a puzzle he can't solve.

"Confused?" I asked.

He nodded, "Yeah, why did I feel bad when you got hurt?" He asked me, genuinely seeking an answer from me.

Oh dear god, is there at least one normal person in this family?

I guess not.

We're a family like no other, indeed.

"Is this another one of your games?"

His eyebrows pulled closer, "No, I am serious," He said, meaning every word, "I shouldn't feel bad for you, so why did I?"

I shot him a glare, "How would I know?" I grated out in anger.

He gave me a weirded-out look, frustration seeping into his words, "See, look at you, how could I feel bad for someone like you?"

Oh dear god...

"Look, I am already miserable enough, so I don't need all of this now," I grumbled out, averting my gaze away from him, trying to pretend that his words weren't hurting me slightly, how he saw me for who I really was. Bad can recognize bad after all...

Lines depended between his brows, "I am sorry, I didn't mean to say it like that—"

My eyes widened and I looked at him, trying to absorb that he apologized for some reason. It was only then that he realized what he said and his own eyes grew wide, "See, I am apologizing to you now!" He shot out in bewilderment as he pointed at himself, "Why would I do that?" He shot out, whining some more, "I don't like any of this."

He pointed between us, "Let's go into hating each other, I prefer it that way."

I rolled my eyes at him, "I still hate you, nothing changed."

He nodded, "Cool, now make me hate you again, be all Lilly-like, come on," He said, waving his hand and urging me to do something.

My jaw ticked and I wanted to hurl something at him, "You are just so infuriating, aren't you," I grumbled out, my rage amplifying.

He nodded his head, squinting his eyes, "Yeah, it's working I guess, say more things."

"All of this is, it all happened because of you only," I added, "You wanted revenge so bad, and look how many people ended up hurt," I said.

He nodded his head, confirming my words, "Yeah, if it weren't for me, Christian would've never thought of coming near you," He said, his eyebrow raising, "You would've not ended up pregnant," I gulped down and he carried on, stressing out on that incident for some reason, "And you would've not lost that baby."

My jaw tightened, something burning in my eyes, fire licking beneath the surface, "True, your fault only."

He nodded, then shrugged, "Yeah, what can I say, maybe I just wanted a nephew or a niece," He said, jokingly, addressing it ever so casually but none of it was casual.

A groan rumbled from my chest and I don't know how I reached for the glass cup next to me or how I hurled it at his face, all I know is I felt like breaking something, and his face seemed like a good option.

His eyes grew a bit wide and he moved his head rather quickly, dodging my hit, and making the glass hit the wall next to him and shatter down to the floor. He stared at it before his wary eyes flickered to me, "You surprise me these days," He mumbled in shock.

Moving away from the shattered glass, he walked forward and came closer to my side, his eyes never once leaving me, scared I'd pull a knife from underneath my pillow and hurl it at him. He paused when he was right next to my bed, "Move aside, I want to sit," He said, ever so casually.

I stared at him in disbelief, "Go away," I shot out, gaping at his audacity.

He gave me an annoyed look, "Come on, I get dizzy when I am on my feet for too long," He said, and he pushed at my arm, nudging me away as he settled next to me. My eyes widened and I pushed his hand away from me, the fucking asshole; he is clinically insane, there is no other justification.

I winced in pain when he nudged me once more as he tried to get himself more comfortable. His eyebrows pulled closer in something resembling worry, "Sorry," he mumbled, and then his eyes grew wide, "I need to stop saying that word, dammit," He mumbled lowly to himself.

He leaned back into my pillow, ever so casually, and he looked ahead of him, like he didn't just insult me a thousand times and invade my personal space. I kept looking at his side profile, trying to understand the person he is but failing every time.

When I didn't look away from him, he turned his head and his gaze fell into mine. He smiled, his smile all boyish and charming, you'd think he was normal and not a psychopath, "I know, I am so handsome and you can't take your eyes off me," He said, ever so casually, "And you are probably wondering if there was no Christian, how you would've fallen in love with me."

"Ewww, no, never," I said in disgust, the thought alone made me want to crawl out of my skin.

He raised his arms and clasped his hands behind his head, leaning into them, "True, we are family still, so it'll be like incest, right?" He asked, his eyebrows pulling closer as he tried to connect the messy family tree.

Lines were etched between my eyebrows as I arranged the family tree in my head as well, "I don't think so, we are not blood-related," I mumbled.

His eyebrow raised, "So, you are considering it?"

My eyes widened, "No!" I shot out again in utter bewilderment, my jaw tightening at how he was sucking me into his teasing game and I pushed at his arm, "Go away, why are you here?"

He chuckled lowly, enjoying this for some reason, "Don't worry, you're not my type anyway," His eyes flickered all over me and he shook his head in disapproval, "I don't see what the fuss is all about, I never understood what they saw in you."

I smiled ever so mockingly, "Thank you."

I wish I had a knife or a gun, or anything sharp...

"Aren't you going to leave?"

"Not yet," He said.

My jaw ticked, "What do you want?"

"Not sure," He mumbled.

Deciding it was better to ignore him because he was apparently enjoying infuriating me, so I kept silent afterwards, maybe he'd get bored and leave me be. I leaned my aching back into my pillow and crossed my arms over my chest, staring ahead at nothing in particular.

"Did it hurt?" He asked.

"What did?" I asked without looking at him.

"Getting shot?" He asked.

My eyebrows pulled closer at his weird question and I turned to him trying to check if he was messing around again. He looked serious as he waited for an answer, "It did, then it didn't," I mumbled, a part of my brain had blocked all those painful feelings for some reason.

He nodded in understatement.

"And now?" He asked.

"Now what?" I asked, confused.

"Does it hurt?"

Lines deepened between my brows, he was throwing me off and giving me a whiplash with his questions. When I kept silent, he asked again, "Are you in pain?"

"Yeah, kind of," I mumbled lowly.

He nodded his head, and turned his gaze away, leaving me to stare confusingly at his side again.

"Are you really sick?" I asked.

He looked at me, "Mentally or physically?" He asked with a smile, "Because yes."

I rolled my eyes at him, a low sigh pushing off my lungs, at least he knew he was mentally unwell.

"What's wrong with you?" I asked, addressing his disease.

He shrugged, like it was so normal, "My lung is failing, it could collapse any day now, so, fingers crossed," He said, smiling sheepishly.

"Is there no...treatment?" I asked.

He shrugged, "Nikolas thinks there is," He said. He shifted in his seat and cleared his throat, "A transplant could work, I mean."

"So, why aren't you doing it?" I asked, curious.

Nathan looked at me, "Since I learned about this, I was preparing myself for it, for death I mean, so it feels easier to go through that than to stay alive," He said, that theory making so much sense to him.

"And if I stayed alive, what am I going to do anyway?" He asked.

"You would live," I mumbled, it was as simple as that, "And probably not stab kids anymore," I added, bitterness in my voice.

His lips twitched and he faced me, his eyebrow raising, "What's the fun in that?"

"It's not funny," I shot out.

"I never said it was," he answered.

"You stabbed my brother," I grated out, still unable to make my peace with that.

He nodded, "And you stabbed me back for it," He argued.

My jaw tightened again, "You stabbed little Nathan."

"And you made them capture me and beat me up for it," He added, pretending that we were even for every shitty thing he did.

"You threatened Noah," I said, my voice breaking down at the mere mention of his name.

Nathan nodded his head, something dimming in his eyes, "True, I don't have anything to defend that," He said, accepting his mistake for once.

My heart felt like it could splinter again so I suppressed those thoughts and kicked them far away. Still, Nathan didn't let me, "Did you know that Noah was with me in there," He said, his eyes looking ahead at a distance, "In the asylum, at the night of the explosion," A small smile curled his lips at the memory and he looked down at his lap.

I swallowed past the lump in my throat, "Was Christian there with you too?"

He shook his head, "No," He said, "After I made it out, we watched the security videos and I saw how when the explosion first happened, Christian managed to get out and escape, he used the opportunity to run away from that place."

"So, after I had my surgery—"

"Surgery?" I asked, confused.

Nathan looked at me, "Yeah, the failing lung and all, it started on that day," He said.

"After that, I looked for him everywhere, I kept looking, I didn't stop till I found him," He said.

"Why did you look for him if you didn't know him before?" I asked.

"I wanted a friend," He mumbled, like it was the only reason he ever needed, "I never had a friend before."

My throat burned again for some reason, and that earlier heavy weight pressed over my chest, "You should do the surgery and have the transplant," I said.

He looked slightly taken aback, "You want me to live?"

I nodded my head.

"Why?" He asked, apparently confused.

I shook my head, "I don't know."

His lips twitched, and he brought his hand forward, tucking the loosened strands of my hair behind my ear, "And I don't know why but," He said, "I am glad you're okay."

*******************

Alex's POV

After many attempts, I successfully forced everyone to leave the hospital, even Chase, who gave me one hell of a headache, he was as stubborn as his father. Meanwhile, I stayed here, even though we were not allowed into her room at night, I knew that I couldn't leave, it wasn't possible...

I shook my head, kicking every other thought away, knowing if I dug too deep, I would never make my way back up again. I thanked the barista when he handed me my carton cup of coffee and I walked out of the hospital's cafeteria.

Crossing the threshold, I headed to the back area of the hospital, it was like a small little garden, where restless people like me wandered as they waited for miracles to happen. The cold night air hit me and I pushed my free hand into my coat's pocket.

Once Lilly's health gets better, I'll transfer her to a hospital in the States and just get the hell out of this damned country.

I paused in my steps when I reached my familiar spot, I brought the hot beverage to my lips and took a sip. My gaze flickered around, searching around till it fell on him, sitting on the same bench as every day since we got here. It became almost a ritual, every day, I'd just stand over here and watch him from a distance.

I should be angry and I should go and bash his head into a wall, I should maybe pull a gun and shoot him, kill him, like I wanted to from the very first moment I saw him in her house.

I should be angry, but I wasn't.

Maybe because I knew if I started to venture down that familiar road of fury and rage, I'd get lost and never make my way back.

So, I chose not to be angry this time.

He was silently sitting there, like every day, he did absolutely nothing, he didn't even attempt to get inside and see her, not once.

I took another sip of my coffee and this time, I acted on my instincts maybe and I moved forward, heading in his direction. He was lost, deep in his thoughts that he didn't notice my presence, not till I sat down on the same bench as his, a few centimeters of brick separating us.

I could see him from my peripheral vision, how he lifted his head and his eyes fell on the intruder next to him. I turned my head, my eyes meeting his own, watching them widen in surprise and shock, not expecting us to be in the same space without me trying to kill him.

Taken aback, he silently stared at me, expecting me to lash out any moment.

His eyes, were the same as his father's, I'd remember. I don't think you can ever forget the eyes of someone you've killed, their lifeless hues haunt your subconscious till the day you breathe your last.

I took another sip of my drink and Christian warily eyed every move I made, trying to discern what was occurring but failing. When I was done, I threw the cartoon cup into the nearest bin.

"You've been here since we brought her in," I was the first to speak.

I refocused my gaze on him, watching as his throat bobbed, "I know you wouldn't want me to be inside, so I will just wait here," He said, as if he respected my needs and wants.

"Wait for what?" I asked.

"For her to get out of here," He answered.

My gaze flickered all over his face, searching for something, though I wasn't sure what. Distress etched lines on his forehead, and the lack of sleep hollowed the area beneath his eyes. His hair was messed up as if he had run his hand through it multiple times. Feeling exposed under my discerning gaze, he brought his hand up, anxiously rubbing it over the back of his neck.

His movement made the sleeves of his sweatshirt pull up slightly, showing me the tattoo creeping up from his wrists, desperately trying to cover scarred skin underneath.

He dropped his hand into his lap and I said, "We've met once before, in that asylum."

"I know," Christian said, surprising me slightly, "I remember."

His gaze flickered down, his fingers anxiously picking up at his sleeves, "We had similar scars, so I thought you were like me," He mumbled and I tried to clearly recall that little kid, another casualty of a war that wasn't his own.

"You made me promise you that I won't do it again," He said, clearly remembering every bit of our conversation from that day.

"But you did," I said.

He lifted his head and looked at me, a weak reluctant smile pulled at his lips, "You know what it's like."

Oh, I knew. I knew it very well.

He averted his gaze away from me, and he leaned his back against the bench, his head moved, the back of it pressing into the wall right behind us. His eyelids fell and the muscles of his jaw tightened, his twitching fingers curling into a fist over his thigh, trying to pave his way out of something, he fought an inner battle that he lost, because I saw that lone tear that pushed through the threshold and trickled down from his closed lid and below his cheek.

"I get it," He whispered, ever so brokenly, coming to terms with a fact too heavy for him.

Taken aback, I stared at him, a few lines etched between my eyebrows. He pressed his eyes tighter, trying to blind himself from that reality as he muttered again, "I get why you did it."

The heaviness over my chest amplified and I tried to fight it, scared of where it could take me.

Christian pried his eyes open, and he turned his head to me, his broken eyes falling onto mine as he admitted out loud, "I understand why you killed my father," He said, his words raging a war within me I wasn't prepared for.

The red lines in the whiteness of his eyes became more prominent, "It doesn't make it any better, the exact opposite, it feels a hundred times worse but I get it, I understand," He said, more helpless tears falling and trickling down his cheeks, "You don't experience something like this, something this intense and strong till the person you love gets hurt, so I get it, I can feel it too. I could only imagine what you felt back then."

He was pulling me back into a maze I was forcefully pushing myself away from. I couldn't break down yet. A lot depended on me to stay still and strong. I needed to keep intact, for Cara's sake, for Max, for Chase, for Lilly—for my little bug, the one this cruel world almost took away from me again.

But I was flailing now, one second away from slipping off the edge.

"And I know that you don't believe me," He added, his voice heavy with a truth he couldn't outrun, "But I really love your daughter," He shook his head, "And I know that I wasn't supposed to. I get how messed up it is."

My silence urged him to let it all out, and the tears that trickled down from his eyes, they fell below his chin, I watched them trace a path before disappearing down into nothingness, "I promise you that I will never come near her again, that much I can assure you," He said, his lips weakly lifting up, "This time, it's a promise I am going to keep."

He brought his hand and rushed it over his face, trying to kick himself back in, his head bent down slightly as he sought a steady ground to step into.

The longer I gazed at him, the more agonizing the pain pressing over my chest became, "Christian," I said, for once addressing it, because I had to, "Do you forgive me?"

My words made him whip his head up, his shocked tearful eyes falling into my own. His lower lip twitched slightly, quivering and he nodded his head, "Yeah," He whispered, the agony overcoming him, the tremor shook his shoulders and he nodded his head again as more tears dripped down, "Yes, I do."

Despite everything, I killed his father after all. I always knew the karma of that would come and hit me where it hurts the most, and it did, it came after my own kids...

Christian pressed his eyes shut, unable to fight the waves crashing over him, a brutal one after the other. I'll never know why I did what I did next, an instinct, a need to fix something when everything around us was crashing down, a need to correct a past so messy and tainted. I don't know, all I knew was that he needed someone to hold him up for once so I edged closer, my arms wrapping around his shoulders, and almost instantly, he fell forward into my embrace. His head rested heavily against my chest, his body shaking with every sob, and my hand involuntarily clasped the back of his head.

"I am sorry," He said, his voice breaking, "I am so sorry."

I couldn't speak, couldn't voice everything I was feeling out loud so I just held him in a world that took from him like it took from me. My chin pressed on the top of his head and I pressed my eyes shut, unable to fight the single tear that pushed past the threshold and fell down my cheek.

I wished more than anything to rewrite the prophecy, to undo the cruel fate that had shattered not just our lives, but countless others.

A prophecy that seemed to inflict pain upon all who crossed paths with our family—a family like no other.

***********************************

Hey!

I think I miscalculated, there are a couple of scenes that I need to write down before the last chapter ends and then we can finally have an epilogue, so I am not sure if I can fit all those scenes into the next one before we can get an epilogue. we'll see how it'll turn out :)

Anyways, I hope you liked the chapter!

Also, before some of you start speculating that Nathan is in love with Lilly, like i know you will *glares*, he is not! He sees her as a friend, and he is unable to comprehend that fact. He thinks he hates her because he is jealous of how the people he cares most about love her so much, aka Nik and Christian.

I hope that's clear ;)

We still have some loose ends to take care of, so, see you next chapter!