"Home is not where you are born; home is where all your attempts to escape cease."

*************

Lilly's POV

I am dying.

I think I am.

I think I will.

I am so stupid. I swear to god, I will never ever deny how stupid I am.

On the same day that I've said and sworn that I am not choosing any of them, here I am kissing Chase. Or he is kissing me. I don't know. It's a mess. I am a mess. This is all a big stupid mess.

I couldn't hold the low moan parting my lips when he cupped my neck on one side and his lips kissed and nibbled on the other. He knew exactly where to kiss, where to bite, and where to drive me insane. We did this before, we did it so many times when we fooled around in that hospital room. He did and still has my body mapped out and memorized.

I threw my head, the back of it pressing over the door he has me plastered against, his chest on mine, his heart speaking to my erratic broken one. I tried to think but I couldn't, my teeth bit down into my lower lip, my fingers tugging over the strands of his soft hair and my legs involuntarily tightened over his waist, his fingers digging into the skin of my hip, keeping me positioned up against him. Stupid Lilly, so fucking stupid.

His hands moved and pulled my hoodie away, my hands on his shirt, unbuttoning the first buttons, both urgent in our movements.

We should stop. I should stop. He should stop. It's now or never.

It's almost as if God just heard my urgent prayers, he sure knows the hormonal mess I am, I mean he created me after all, and he knows how I would've never stopped this on my own because even when my mind and heart chose not to want it, my stupid lady vajayjay does.

A loud sound of glass shattering from downstairs was enough to break our skins apart. Thank you, god. I am so going to church this Sunday, I promise.

Chase's eyes met mine, both of us confused and questioning. I swallowed hard and the second his grip over me loosened the slightest, I used my newly gained freedom and pulled back from him, building whatever distance I can. I rushed a hand over my hair, "Uh, we should-" I heaved out a breath, I was freaking panting for the love of god, "We should check what's happening," My mouth was so dry as I turned and fumbled with the knob, my fingers shaking and unable to do the simple task of opening the damn door that I was gonna get fucked against. Pardon my french, but I am a total mess at the moment.

Chase's hand landed over mine, over the knob, he easily twisted it. His arm pressed over my lower back, steadying me because I probably looked one second away from fainting, which I probably would've if we continued this. That would've made an interesting sex story for the future. He fucked me into unconsciousness. Wow.

I stepped outside but halted to a stop abruptly when my eyes fell across the hall, on the door that just opened as well. It was uncle Ashton and Katherine, and I hate to say what I am about to say next, but...they looked just like us. Uncle Ashton's shirt was unbuttoned just like Chase's, his hair a mess, just like his son's, how convenient, almost like someone was hardly tugging on it too.

Great. Just great.

Auntie Katherine's eyes were on us, noticing exactly what I just noticed. A big smile spread over her lips, she wiggled her eyebrows at us, "Whatcha ya doin?" She asked teasingly.

I gulped down and I shook my head, crossing my arms over my chest, trying to play this casually but I could feel the redness creep over every exposed skin of my body. I shivered, considering Mr. Ryder junior discarded my hoodie somewhere inside and I was left now wearing the tank top only.

"You heard that too, right?" Uncle Ashton asked, ignoring our current caught-right-before-having-sex situation as he buttoned up his shirt.

"Uhuh," I mumbled, nervously, "What's happening?"

He shrugged and moved forward, both of them getting closer to the head of the stairs like us. Uncle Ashton's gaze fell into Chase, analyzing the situation and a small smirk pulled up the corner of his lips. Chase shot him a glare back, both of them silently communicating, "Dad, you have lipstick on your neck," Chase said, winning the silent argument.

Ashton grumbled something under his breath as he wiped at his neck. Katherine giggled and she inched closer, wiping at his skin as well, and mumbled, "Sorry, baby," as she fixed the collar of his shirt.

He turned to his son and held him with a smoldering glare that said; not cool, son, not cool. His eyebrow raised and he pointed back at Chase, "You have one too," He said and my eyes widened. I whirled around to look at Chase, who was trying to wipe at his neck and I shook my head, stopping him, "I don't have lipstick on," I whispered, showing him that his father is just messing around with him.

Uncle Ashton gave him a proud look that said; play with someone your age, and Chase huffed out in annoyance.

Air pushed in and out of my chest, heavy and strained as we descended down the stairs, my eyes searching around for any distraction that will make me forget all that just happened, or maybe the ground will just open up and swallow me whole, I prefer the latter.

My eyes widened as they fell into the broken glass in the middle of the living room, the one that previously belonged to the table's top. I pressed my hand over my mouth, a bit taken aback as Emma clutched into...what was his name, Ronald yeah, she clutched into his shirt and slammed his body against the wall so harshly that the painting over it shook, "How could you let him escape?!"

She roared, her voice echoing into the whole house, her gaze enraged, bewildered. The skin of her neck was flaming red as the anger consumed her whole, "I didn't let him escape," Ronald shot back and dad walked closer to them, the look in his eyes was of pure fury, but he looked more in control compared to Emma.

"Ronald, I don't think I am going to wait for Nikolas to come and kill you," Dad grated out, "My hands are itching to do it myself now," His jaw ticked, "How could you fucking let him go!"

"I didn't!"

"You are one of the best among us, you fucking shit," Emma shot out, harshly letting go of him as she took a step back, and I noticed something crumbled up in her fist, a piece of paper maybe, "You want me to believe that a kid was able to beat you down!"

"Believe me, he is anything but a kid," Ronald grated out, his fury matching theirs but he contained it somehow.

"You could've shot him, killed him, done anything, but you hesitated, of course, you fucking hesitated!" Dad shot back.

"Of course I did," He snapped, throwing his arms in the air, "What was I supposed to do, kill him on the spot?!"

His enraged gaze drifted around between them both and dad nodded, with no hesitation at all, "That's exactly what you should've done."

Ronald's eyebrow raised, "I didn't see you do that to Nikolas before, did you," The mockery in his voice had Emma fire up more and she groaned, moved forward so fast, her fist slamming into his jaw, the force pushing him backward.

I wish I can punch like this. My fist still hurts me from hitting that blonde witch. Where is she by the way-

"Woah," I heard Conner mumble beside me, I didn't even know he was here till then. I turned to look at him and he was watching this with so much enthusiasm, as if it's some kind of a wrestling match. He nudged my arm, not breaking his gaze from the show, "She's married, right?" Conner checked and I shot him a hard glare, he only gave me an innocent smile in return.

I ignored him, my gaze going back to Emma, who didn't get enough as she went back for another punch. The man dodged it but didn't fight her back for some reason. She didn't think before she kicked him in the stomach, his body staggering into the wall once again and the poor painting fell into the ground this time. Bye, bye painting.

Dad curled his hand over her arm, pulling her back and away from Ronald before this escalates more, "Emma, calm down," He stressed out and she whirled around, shaking her head, "How can I calm down, Alex," She bellowed, pushing the piece of paper in her hand into dad's chest, "This fucking piece of shit threatened my son!" She shot out and dad opened up the paper, reading what it held inside.

I moved closer, getting on my tiptoes and trying to read them from a distance behind dad but failed. Thankfully enough, he mumbled the words out loud, "If I am targeting Nikolas first, it doesn't mean I forgot about you Mrs. Virachi, your little prince is on the list too, he is my other holy grail, I am just leaving him for last," Dad paused, sucking into a deep breath before he muttered the next words with a lower voice so the others won't hear;

"He won't live long enough to take your place. I will use his own blood to write my name over the throne in cursive before I sit on it, I give you my word, step-sis.

Best regards,
Nathaniel-you-know-which-one-Virachi."

The look in dad's eyes was almost unfamiliar as he held the piece of paper forward, asking, "Where did he leave this?"

"In my pocket," Ronald grumbled as he wiped the blood from over his face away.

"He keeps doing this," Dad grated out, crumbling the piece of paper in his palm, "He is playing a fucking game with us!" He shot out, that murderous look in his eyes, I've seen it countable numbers before only, but I don't blame him, Louis or Nathaniel or whatever the hell his name is...he is crossing big lines, he must be stopped. Christian was right, he was able to escape after all.

We have an army, but we don't know him well. It's so damn true.

"No one threatens my son and gets away with it, no one!" Emma snapped, the threat in her voice genuine, "I am going to rip him to pieces," She turned to Ronald, "And I will rip you too if you fucking dare to stand in my way," She stalked forward toward him, her stance so dangerous, I swear I am even scared of her now.

Her anger didn't subdue, but she wasn't shouting anymore, her voice low but seething, "Looks like your brother doesn't know who I am and what I am capable of," Her eyes darkened, "He wants to fight, then I will give him one hell of a battle," Ronald didn't say a thing back, but stared back at her, something holding him back; it looked like...respect?

"People in the family have been rebelling lately," She added, "Little Nathan is going around, causing chaos, so maybe it's time to remind all of you whose orders you follow," Her voice held a vicious edge, "I am not Isaac, but I think you all need someone like him again to remind you where you fucking belong," Like a reckoning, she rose, and she was so close to him now, almost touching and he didn't move, his jaw tightening but still, he didn't do anything to defy her.

Her voice was low, whispering, promising, "I will wreak havoc over everyone that follows him, everyone, Ronald." She stressed out on the word and it wasn't till this moment that I understood who is actually sitting on the top of the damn throne.

"I think I am in love," Conner whispered from beside me, more to himself and it was Chase this time who punched his arm, shutting his nonsense.

"They will rue the day they crossed me," She added and she meant every single word, "We didn't do all that we did so Isaac 2.0 will come to sit back on the throne again, right?"

Ronald nodded his head, ending the conversation there and she moved backward, leaving his side, and walked toward her son. The second she reached him, her gaze softened and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling him to her, "I won't let anyone hurt you," She promised, her voice a total contradiction to seconds ago as she rested her hand over his cheek, ever so softly whispered, "I promise."

Wyatt lifted his gaze up and he smiled, nodding his head with confidence; confidence in her, "I know, mom."

His smile was enough to have her lips curve up; she was a mother after all and it seems like nothing could come in the way of that.

She kept her arm around Wyatt before she turned toward dad, "Roman is still at the hospital with them, right?"

Dad nodded and she pulled her phone from her pocket, dialing his number, she placed the phone to her ear, whispering to herself, "It's time to go back home."

They all scattered around after, mom went near dad and tried to calm him down. Uncle Ashton and Katherine joined them as they discussed this situation, deciding how it's actually for the best for us all to head back home.

I looked around, my gaze lost and searching, "Where is Noah?"

Conner shrugged, "I saw him leave like half an hour ago," He mumbled and I nodded, they probably sent him somewhere to take care of...all of this.

Conner pressed his hands over my shoulders from the back, "Lilly, I gotta say, your family..." He squeezed at my shoulders and shook his head, "They're something else."

I leaned my head backward, looking at him and glaring. He removed his hands and messed my hair before he looked at Chase, "I am so glad you told me to come, this is so dangerous but also the most action I've seen since ever."

I crossed my arms over my chest and gave him a bored look, "Do you think this is a movie or something?"

He shrugged, "Well, if it is, then I am definitely the side character who everyone loves but dies in the end." He said and I couldn't hold my low chuckle as I playfully slapped his arm.

My eyes drifted to Chase's for a mere second, our gazes meeting again, a hundred different words fighting to come of our mouths but we both kept silent. I gulped down, trying not to think back to what almost happened. Thank god for Emma breaking the table, or else...

Conner's phone rang and he moved away to answer it. I wanted to scream at him to come back because it was again, just me and Chase, alone.

I felt the side of his arm brush mine as he settled so close to me. Oh god, oh god. "Lilly," he called for me, urging me to look his side.

I nervously chewed at my lips, "Hmm?"

"I am sorry...for what I said back at the hospital," The sincerity in his voice had me turn my head to him, listening as he added, "I was just so angry, and I know it's not an excuse," He ran his fingers through his hair, his eyes so uncertain of so many things, "I just...maybe I felt the need to blame someone so I wouldn't have to face it myself."

I rubbed at the side of my arm, nervously and nodded my head, "I know," I understood that long before.

I cleared my throat, "But, did you mean it when you said-"

"No, I didn't," He answered, shaking his head and interrupting me, already understanding what I was about to ask.

"If I did, I would've not barged into your room, would've I?"

I gulped down again, "Yeah, that," I let out a nervous chuckle. Come on ground, open up and take me away. God, there is a perfect time for another glass to break, please.

I shook my head, changing the subject and trying to make sure he is aware of this specific fact once again, "I really didn't go with Christian willingly," I mumbled and he shook his head, "You don't owe me an explanation," He said and I was a bit taken aback; what the hell changed since a few hours ago? Did the small make-out session above brainwash him into liking me again?

"Lilly, I..." He shook his head and exhaled, his lips that were assaulting mine minutes ago parted and I had to swallow hard to keep myself from jumping forward and resuming that, "I've been stuck in that past, in that same loop for way too long, it feels stupid to keep bringing it up, but I just have to address this one last time," His eyes held mine in a gaze that said he is so certain but also so unsure, and affection played on his blue eyes as they gazed across my face, "We were young, immature, we both did mistakes we can't escape from...but the thing is, no matter what, we can never go back and change all that happened."

I nodded, agreeing, "I am different now, so are you," He added, "We are older now, and well, not as mature as I expected us to be at this age," I smiled in return, and at my smile, his lips curved up the slightest, "What I want to say is, that almost my whole life I was always trying to see the worst in you, because..." He sucked into a deep breath, "Because it would make not being with you easier I guess."

My fingers curled into a fist, trying to contain all of my anxious feelings in as he carried on, "I am not going to do that anymore, because it's not fair to you, you don't deserve me coming every time and throwing insults in your face just because you had hurt me before," My chest tightened at the last words, "I need to learn how to stop controlling this part of my life, I always try to hold myself back and decide what I should feel and shouldn't," He shook his head, "From now on, I just want to let it go and you know, let it flow and play out the way it's supposed to."

I nodded, "Me too," I said, agreeing, and finally, my heart calmed down. The nervousness started to fade away and a loud breath left my mouth, my shoulders relaxing down at the bit of reassurance behind his words.

Chase's eyes flickered to my neck, and the corner of his lips pulled up before he moved his hand forward, it went to my hair and he moved it over my shoulder, covering my neck. My eyes widened, "Is there?" I practically shouted and he nodded, "There is."

I gasped and tried to cover my neck before I playfully slapped his shoulder, "You jerk," I grumbled out and a low chuckle vibrated from him, "I didn't mean to," His eyebrows pulled closer and he added, "Actually, I think I did."

I shot him a glare, holding my hair closer to my skin, my eyes flickering to dad at a distance, who's so unaware of us at the moment. I sighed, "You want me to die on dad's hands today, don't you?"

He shook his head and he edged closer, taking all of my personal space as his hand rested on the side of my neck, his thumb brushing that area, "It's okay, I will take the hit and the blame for you," He said, tease fluttered all over his eyes and I nodded, "Yeah, I will say I was sleeping and just woke up like this."

His eyebrow raised, "Immediately throwing me under the bus, huh?"

I shrugged, nonchalantly, "No one told you not to control yourself."

"Hmm," He hummed and it was till then that I realized just how close we are again. Oh shit. Anxiety clawed at my skin, my throat bobbed heavily when I tipped my head up, my eyes meeting his and when his palm pressed over my lower back and pulled me closer, I gasped.

"He's right there, do you want to die," I tried to say, my voice low and Chase raised his shoulders, nonchalantly, "It'll be worth it," He mumbled. My eyes flickered to his lips again and I felt the warmness coiling my stomach intensifying every second, my chest heaved for my next breath and I felt myself edging closer, wanting this, but also, not.

I licked my lips, "I am hungry, aren't you hungry," I tried to change the topic, maybe we'll just go to the kitchen and eat, or maybe he'll take me to my room and eat me alive...I would prefer the latter- LILLY, STOP, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP.

He nodded, his fingers moving the strand of hair that fell over my eyes away, "Starving," He whispered.

"Uhuh," Stupid me, stupid me...

Conner's voice was my best excuse to break the contact and I pulled away rather abruptly, building distance between us again as my gaze flickered to Conner, and here I am panting again. Do I have some type of sickness? Conner paused to a stop beside us, his eyes narrowed suspiciously at me, before they flickered to Chase, sensing something is off.

"You two aren't having sex behind my back, are you?"

My eyes widened, "No, what?" I screeched, "Sex, no, what do you mean, no!" I shook my head, "No, no way," I chuckled, nervously, "No, no," I smiled and shook my head again, like it's so silly, "No, why would we do that, no."

Chase's eyebrow raised, "Nine nos, wow, I will try not to be offended," He said and I slapped his arm, playfully, but also not playfully, asking him to shut up. I looked back at Conner and chuckled again, "No, uh," I rubbed a hand over my throat, "I am thirsty, anyone else thirsty, no, just me? Cool, I will just go get some water, because," I kept rambling on, a total mess as I left their side and walked to the kitchen, needing walls to separate me from him till I sort through the chaos tumbling within my mind and chest.

I huffed out a very loud breath and leaned against the counter, rubbing a hand over my face, "I am so stupid, I am so damn stupid!" I hissed at myself, the need to slam my head against the concrete intensifying each second.

"You okay there?" Emma's voice from behind me had me gasping and I twirled around, meeting her very confused gaze, as she probably witnessed me almost having a mini-breakdown and insulting myself.

I gulped down and nodded, "Uhuh, everything is just peachy," I added sarcastically, my eyes assessing her state, trying to figure out if she is angry still. I don't want to die yet or anything, "Are you...are you still angry?"

She shrugged, "It's impossible not to be," She said, the muscles of her jaw working as she rushed a hand over her hair, leaning against the counter like me, needing something to hold into before the weight of everything pulls her down.

I moved my hand to her arm, I let it rest there, ever so hesitantly, I gave her a reassuring squeeze, "I believe that out of them all, you are the strongest here, so not even this Nathaniel can get to Wyatt, I am sure."

At my words, her head tilted to the side, her eyebrows pulling closer, "You really think so?"

I nodded, "Yeah, actually...I wish to be like you to some extent-" At my words, her eyes widened, "Oh hell no, I've never been a role model to anyone, so don't," The thought alone terrified her and I chuckled, shaking my head, "Not...mafia-wise," I can't even say the word without cringing, "But, character-wise, yes." To a certain level.

A smile pulled at her lips and the look in her eyes as she gazed at me was a hundred eighty degrees different from how it was moments ago when she punched and threatened Ronald, "You are weirdly cute," She mumbled, moving her arm to place it over my shoulders. I frowned at her choice of words and shrugged, "I will consider you said only cute."

Her smile widened, genuine and a bit teasing, "So, I've been seeing you hanging around with Ashton's son," She commented and I wanted to run away again, she winked, "Is there something going on between you two?"

I shrugged, not knowing exactly how to answer that, "With Chase and me, there will always be unresolved issues and feelings that will never go away, but," I paused, my sad confused expression had her frowning, "But what?" She asked.

I looked at her, so damn helpless, "But there shouldn't be a but." I added because there were a hundred different sentences that could come after the word but.

"Is it...Christian?" She asked, her expression shifting and I shook my head, and after it, I nodded, then shook my head again. Her eyebrow raised, "It is, and also, it's not," I mumbled, too lost, "With them both, I got hurt, and with both, I ended up hurting them somehow. I just don't want to repeat that, I don't want to hurt anyone again, and to be honest," I added, sighing, "I don't want to end up hurt again."

It felt like I was just keeping this inside because I kept talking, and she listened, "Also, it feels like making a choice between the two, and that's so wrong," My eyebrows pulled closer and I shook my head, "When you love someone, or when you find that someone you're supposed to end up with, he shouldn't be a choice between two people, right?"

"I am no expert on that but...yeah, I think so," She agreed, "Which is why I will tell you one thing," She rested her hand over my cheek, sincerely giving me a piece of advice, "Choose yourself," She said and tapped her hand over my cheek, "Once you do that, you will see how things will fall back into their place, or else, you will be lost in between who you are with him and who you were with Christian."

I nodded, understanding what she meant, because it reflected my thoughts exactly.

"By the way," I added, "Christian isn't working for Louis or anything," I felt the need to explain, especially after her previous threat. Who the hell appointed me as Christian's lawyer anyway? But for some reason, I feel the need to explain his situation, because, with them, I have no clue who will end up dead or alive by the end of this.

She nodded and I curried on, questioning, "You won't hurt him, right?"

She shook her head, "As long as he doesn't help him, he is not my problem."

I nodded, relieved. After our little conversation, uncle Roman came back and Emma got busy with him. I tried to keep myself away from Chase for some more time, chatting with Max till he got bored of me and pushed me. He asked me to go to sleep and leave him the hell alone. With a heavy sigh, I descended down the stairs, into the living room, and thankfully enough, Chase wasn't around this time. My eyes fell on Conner sitting over the couch and I ran toward him, dropping down by his side. He turned his head, giving me a weirded-out look.

"Conner, Conner," I said as I nudged his shoulder urgently, "Conner, remember back in the day when you were my son?"

His eyebrows pulled closer, thinking I am weird or something but he nodded his head nevertheless, "Well, till we leave here, I want you to do exactly what a son does."

"And that is?"

"Cockblock his parents," I answered, "You make sure Chase and I are never left alone and I promise I will make Sally give you the best sex of your life when we get back home," I added with puppy eyes, beginning for his help and desperate. I just need to skip past this part of me that wants us to sleep together and once we are back home, I can get my life back in order.

"On it," He said, determined, not needing any more convincing than that.

Right on cue, Chase walked into the room, his gaze occupied by the phone in his hand as he headed and sat down beside me, but Conner jumped last second and squeezed himself between us both.

Chase turned to him, raised his eyebrow, and glared at Conner for his abrupt weird behavior. Conner only gave him a polite smile and waved his hand, like a child; I think he is my long-lost child indeed. Stupid, just like me.

I facepalmed when he added, "I am only being a good son, that's all."

I pinched his arm, "Oww..." He winced, clutching at his am as he shot me a murderous glare.

"You're grounded," I hissed at him and he inched his hand closer to my cheek and flicked his finger over my skin. My eyes widened and I elbowed him in the stomach before I got up to my feet, "Chase, deal with your son," I shot out and Chase stared back at Conner with a horrified expression, "Who made you my son again, I thought I got rid of you."

Conner shook his head so casually and threw an arm over Chase's shoulder, "You can't."

Chase gave him a bored expression before he shrugged his arm away and stood up, ready to walk away from him like me, but Conner stayed true to his words and jumped off, squeezing himself between us and standing in the middle before he threw one arm around my shoulder, and the other around Chase, pulling us to him, "So, my little broken family, where are we going?"

Chase looked seconds away from punching him and I tried to move away but Conner's arm kept me secure in my place, "To sleep," I mumbled, secretly hinting on the take Chase to your room so I can lock myself in mine all alone before my irrationality comes tumbling out in waves.

"Yeah, me too," Chase said, pushing Conner away as he walked up the stairs along my side. Conner pushed himself between us again, "Uh, yeah, since we are all staying in one house for secure measures, whose room will I be staying in?" He asked, looking between us two.

"Go to the guest room," Chase grumbled out and Conner shook his head, "Nope, if we get attacked, I want us all to die together, so we will stay in one room," He added, ever so seriously, "This is how much I love you both," He said while pinching our cheeks, "We either live together or die together, I don't want to be that side character."

I started to regret asking for his help when he pushed the door to my room and tumbled inside. He threw himself over the bed, settling in the middle. He patted on his right, "Chase, you can sleep here," And then he patted on his left, "Lil, you here."

My jaw ticked and I shot him a hard glare, promising him of pain tomorrow while Chase rushed a hand over his face, gripping at his hair in frustration as he tried to control himself from killing his best friend.

I tried not to comment on this. I can lay down, sleep this off and when we get back home, this won't be a problem anymore; hopefully. I elbowed Conner on his side, pushing him away so I can lay down over my side. Chase only sat down on the other side, he rested his back over the headboard, his gaze occupied by his phone's screen.

It was already too late and I was so tired, exhausted even. I wanted to take a shower but I couldn't grasp enough energy to get up and wash myself. I mean if someone would volunteer to do that, I wouldn't mind at all. Ugh, great, sleepy me is the horniest version of myself there is.

Almost half an hour later and still, I couldn't sleep. I kept my eyes closed, scared to open them up and have to face Chase and explain why I keep running away from him. Too occupied with my own messy thoughts, I didn't notice how a sleeping Conner moved, his big heavy figure accidentally pushing my small one away in his sleep.

"Ahh!" I gasped, and my eyes shot open, "I am falling!" I snapped at the stupid guy but he was fast asleep and the next thing I felt was my ass hit the ground. The one thing I heard after is Chase's low chuckle and I groaned before I jumped up to my feet, glaring down at a sleeping Conner who literally took all of my space.

"He moves a lot in his sleep," Chase commented and I huffed out, my eyes drifting to him, the moonlight from outside enough to clear my sight.

I rested my hands over my hips, annoyed, "Where will I sleep?" I grumbled and Chase's lips twitched again before he moved his body, slightly toward the middle, "Come here," He said. Realizing that this is my last option, there are probably other options but ahem let's ignore them for now. Also, knowing that we won't have sex with Conner just right here, I circled my way around the bed and walked to Chase's side.

I climbed into the small area he left for me, he did that on purpose, so I would have no choice but clutch into him. He rested his arm under my head and I fisted my hand over his shirt when he slightly moved and I felt like I could just slip down again. He rested his palm over my lower back and pulled me closer, plastering me against him, all hard and soft and smelling so good...Jesus.

Okay, maybe this was a terrible idea.

My eyes lifted up from his chest, falling into his face. I could feel him all, a very thin layer of clothes separating our bodies. His skin was hot under my fisted hand, radiating the same desire he'd left burning in me since he barged into my room. I stared at his face longer than I should. The defined angles of his jaw were coated with a light stubble, and turbulence swam in the depths of his ocean blue eyes as he gazed back at me.

What is he thinking about? I would kill to know.

I gulped down, "Don't look at me like that," I mumbled.

"Like what?"

I licked my dry lips and shook my head, "You know like what," My heart was in my throat as I talked, and my words had the corner of his lips curling up slightly. He lowered his head and pressed a soft kiss over my forehead, "Goodnight, Lilly."

Feeling the exhaustion of the eventful day take over every last nerve in my body, I let my eyelids glide down, "Goodnight," I mumbled, still clutching into him as I slowly fell deep into sleep. I mean how couldn't I, when his embrace felt so much like home? So warm, familiar, and safe.

It's why I always keep coming back to him, I think. I mean isn't home where you go to when you run out of homes. Isn't it where you find light when everything around you grows dark?

You really don't realize how you had a home until you leave it, you start missing it, yearn for it, wishing you could go back. It's weird, but it's always the past years and moments that seem better, they are safer since they are vanquished and known.

But the thing is, once you have left your home, you can never go back, and sometimes, you really shouldn't. Why? Because there is a reason you left it in the first place.

***************

Nikolas's POV

"Where is he?" My voice was shockingly low and neutral, more composed than I expected, a total contradiction to the rage rocking through my chest at the very expected news.

I should've just killed him on the spot.

Alex closed his eyes and leaned his head back, pressing it against the chair, a low sigh parted his lips, "I have no idea," He added, the exhaustion evident in his tone, and he looked in desperate need of some sleep. It's four in the morning and we are still at the hospital, Nathan has been in and out, waking for a few seconds then going back to sleep, still unaware of his surroundings due to the meds effect.

I rubbed a hand over my chest; at least he is fine.

Alex brought a hand to his face, rubbing at his eyes, "What are we going to do?" he asked, so energyless, less reactive than usual and I knew there were a hundred different things he wanted to say to me but is holding himself back. After all this time, I know him very well, I know when he is angry or frustrated toward me, but he is avoiding it now due to the situation we are in.

"For now, take everyone and go back home," I said and his eyelids glided open, they fell on me, his eyebrows pulling closer, "And you?" He asked.

"In a couple of days, when Nathan gets better, I will go back home as well," I answered.

He straightened himself in his seat, "What about...what's his name?" He added, so annoyed by the mentioning of him only.

My fingers curled over the cafeteria's table, "One way or another, I will find him, he won't stay silent for too long," I said, coldness wrapping with every word, "I will deal with him, you just go home for now."

"And how exactly will you deal with it?"

"I will, just don't worry about it," I mumbled.

His eyebrow raised, "Don't worry about it?" He mocked, "He went after Max twice, what will stop him from doing it another time, huh?"

I was starting to lose my patience and his tone wasn't helping my case at the moment, "Alex, I said I will deal with it-"

"How?!" He snapped, pushing himself to his feet, the chair screeching as it moved backward, grabbing the attention of the few people seated in the cafeteria, "How will you deal with it? Like you dealt with it all those years ago?"

I rushed a hand over my face, giving up on all of this, "Just say it," I said, my jaw ticking.

"Of course, I will fucking say it, this is all your fault and you know that!"

Told you, I know him very well.

I nodded, "Exactly, my fault, my problem, and I will deal with it I said," I grated out, getting up to my feet, "So, take everyone and go back home, he is after me, not after you."

He scoffed, "Well considering your DNA runs in my son's blood, he is after me as well," He said, his voice rising with frustration and I couldn't hold it in anymore, I was already on the fucking edge. My hand slammed over the table, the rage multiplying and intensifying, I really didn't need this now, "What the hell do you want then, Alex?!"

"I want you to wake the fuck up," He shot back, "Because I saw this happen to you before," He snapped, "That look in your eyes, I've seen it once before and it is the reason we are in this mess now, you know that very well, Nikolas," He wasn't going to stop now, the same rage and helplessness surging through my veins were evident in his eyes and tone, "Your mother died, so you snapped and look where it took us," He added, "The same is happening now, so you need to keep yourself in check this time, because that's all he wants, I think you are smart enough to understand that, he is only trying to trigger you, and you are falling for it."

"Let's not forget that Isaac is the one who taught him everything," He added, "He will play with his rules after all."

I shook my head, "I can't...I just can't think logically about this right now."

Alex rushed a hand over his face, taking a few steps backward, "You have to," He said, "Back then, as you claimed, you had no one so you didn't care about anything you were doing but now," His voice lowered and I know his intentions were in the right place but I just didn't want to listen to facts, "Now, you have a family, a one that needs you."

His eyebrows pulled closer, "I saw Natalie sitting upstairs, all by herself," He pointed out, "See, even in this situation, you are not by your wife's side, no, you're busy with whatever is going on in your mind right now, did you even care to explain to her what's happening, of course not," He shook his head, disappointed, "Look Nik, Nathan needs his father now, and Natalie needs her husband, they don't need the monster who will go outside, kill and wreak havoc, at this moment, they just need you, so, please, just wake up before it's late again."

***************

Lilly's POV

You'd think because I am terribly exhausted, I'd sleep till the next day. But no, my overthinking mind and the stress due to everything had me opening my eyes two or three hours later, fully awake and unable to get back to sleep again.

Not wanting to disturb Chase, I slowly and successfully removed myself from his embrace and got up to my feet. My head tilted to the side, staring at his peaceful face before I fixed the blanket over his body. My gaze flickered to Conner on the other side, and true, he tossed a lot during his sleep that his blanket is thrown over the ground.

Sighing, I circled my way around, picked it up, and covered him. Damn, it really feels like he is my son sometimes. I shook my head at the thought and picked up my phone from over the nightstand, realizing how the last time I checked it was before Christian kidnapped me. I went through the notifications, reading through the zillion messages Sally had sent me. In the last ones, she was mostly swearing at me for not telling her what happened or picking up her calls, it looked like Conner filled her in on everything.

I wore up my hoodie and unlocked the phone as I walked out of the room, typing down a long paragraph explaining to her all that occurred in the last hours and how I didn't have my phone on me all this time. I pressed on Noah's chat after and texted, "Where are you?"

"Outside with the security guards," He texted back a few seconds later.

The phone signaled battery low and I pushed it into my pocket, my eyes wandering around the house, it was six in the morning and some of the rooms had the lights on still, but I didn't understand who was asleep and who was awake.

I descended down the stairs and into the kitchen, I drank some water before I opened the backdoor, staring outside at the peaceful sea, and at the sun sneaking up from behind the horizon. Thankfully, the rain had stopped by now, so I stepped outside, searching for Noah, and desperately needing to enjoy this beautiful view one last time before we leave.

I walked down the shore, pushing my bare feet into the water every now and then, feeling the coldness of it creep all the way to my inside. I paused to a stop and faced the sea. I let my eyelids glide down, sucking a huge gulp of air into my lungs, and for this brief moment, I decided not to think about anything.

A harsh breath pushed off my chest and I opened my eyes, reaching for my phone to text Noah again. A hand wrapping over my arm from the back had me gasping, but the sound came out all muffled as he pressed his hand over my mouth, twirling me around so fast to face him.

My eyes widened as they met his familiar ones, "Shush," He said, a smile forming over his lips as I felt the sharp tip of the knife lightly press over my abdomen and above my shirt, "You scream, you die," Louis added, not messing around as he loosened his hand from over my mouth.

"How were you able to get inside here?" I mumbled, my eyes wide, my voice shaking, and my heart racing in my chest, unable to comprehend how he keeps trespassing every time.

He shrugged, "I had some help," He said, his words hinting at something but I couldn't comprehend it at the moment.

"What do you want from me?" I mumbled, thinking about my chances at the moment; I could scream to get their attention, Noah said he is here, he would hear me, but Louis might just stab me and run away. If I could keep him occupied, maybe someone will notice us.

Where the hell are you Noah when I actually need you?

"I could care less about you, actually," He said, rolling his eyes extravagantly, "But I need to make a statement," He added, and again, I understood nothing.

"How could you hurt them, they're kids only," I added, keeping this going for as far as I can before he goes for it and actually pushes the knife into my stomach.

"And I was a kid as well," He added, curling his lips up, his expression almost soft. If anyone from outside is looking, he'd think he is innocent, he has one of those faces, the warm friendly ones, that's why it would've never crossed my mind before that he is capable of all of this.

"Max did nothing to you, neither did Nathan," I added, tears rushing to my eyes, I was scared, even when I wanted to pretend I am not, "Go after whoever hurt you but leave them out of it, they're innocent."

His eyebrow raised, "And what's the fun in that?"

I bit the inside of my cheek, anger rushing into my veins and I tried to stop myself from swearing at him or spitting at his face, "You're hurting them because it's...fun?"

He nodded, his grin widening, "So much fun," He said, "You know what will be also fun, killing you," he added, enthusiastically, "But not like this-"

Before he could continue that sentence, he was suddenly pulled away from me. I blinked, unable to comprehend what just happened. At that same minute, I felt a hand over my arm, pushing me backward. I tilted my head staring at Christian's back as he took the place in front of me, shielding me away.

"Oh, just the man I needed," Louis said with a low chuckle. I couldn't move from behind him, I couldn't read the expression on their faces, Christian's tight grip over my arm kept me in one place.

When did he even get here?

"I was actually betting on it, I knew you're following me around, scared I might come after her," Louis said and the energy vibrating off Christian's body was so negative and rage-full, "It's so funny, my friend, how well you know me and how well I know you."

"You are taking this way too far, Louis," Christian grumbled out, the anger in his voice barely controllable.

"I don't go by that name anymore," I moved my head to the side, looking at him as he shrugged, so casually, "No need to hide who I actually am," His hand went behind his pants and pulled a gun out. My eyes widened and my fingers involuntarily fisted over the back of Christian's shirt.

I looked around us, hoping someone from the security will show up, but none. What the hell should I do? I discreetly pulled my phone out, but it was turned off due to the low battery. Just my luck.

Louis pulled the safety off, his eyes on the gun in his hand and Christian moved, covering me again, "I was never a fan of guns, but they are more practical sometimes, don't you think so," Louis added.

"She didn't do anything to you," Christian shot out.

"Oh, she didn't, I know," He said, "But she is the reason you are betraying me and I really don't like that," He tsked, "What happened to you Christian? Seriously, when we started this, you were so into it, so committed-"

I peeked at him from behind Christian's back and his eyes met mine, "Are you really going to go back to him, Lilly?" He asked, curling his lips and faking pity, "Do you know all the bad things he said about you those times?"

My grip tightened over Christian's, "Do you remember it, Chris?" He added and I could feel the muscles of his back tightening under my hold, "How you laughed behind her back, telling me how naive and stupid she is, how easy and cheap," I pressed my eyes shut, hating how those words affected me still, maybe I am not over that hurt as I expected myself to be, "But the sex...oh, the sex was good, because of the whole daddy issues and all."

He laughed and I felt the tears prickling my eyes, "Did you forget all of that?" He said, talking with Christian, who kept silent all along, not denying a single thing, "How you were so sure she will fall right into your trap, how you were just waiting for the right moment to break her," Through my blurry eyesight, I saw him looking at me, asking me, "And he did, didn't he?"

"He said much more terrible things but I am a bit embarrassed to say them out loud at the moment, you know I am a good boy and all," He added, with a cheeky smile, and Christian's grip over my arm tightened more when he felt me pulling away.

"Is this why you are after her now?" Christian said, "So bitter that I don't agree on your kids-stabbing spree?" His voice raised, "This was never our plan, Louis, I never agreed to any of this!"

"You agreed to fuck her, I don't see much difference in what I am doing now?"

I pressed my eyes shut, feeling so little, so humiliated, so...easy and cheap like he just called me, "I made you who you are now Christian, I gave you a life, I gave you a name, a house, and without me, you'd still be on the streets, without me, you'd be nothing, no one, I gave you a fucking family," His voice has an edge as he carried on, "You're so ungrateful and I don't tolerate that."

He took a step forward and Christian pushed me a bit backward, "What happened to the Christian who wants to avenge his father," His eyebrow raised, triggering him on purpose, "Does her vagina produce unicorns that it had you forgot that-" before he could even continue that sentence, a growl rumbled from Christian's side and the next I saw was his fist slamming into Louis's face, pushing him down as he shot out, "That's enough!"

But Louis wasn't playing around, with Christian close to him now, he moved up so fast and pressed the gun to his chest, keeping him in one place, "It's sad to see our friendship end here," He said, venom in his eyes as he stared at Christian, holding him down with a smoldering glare.

"They tortured me and I still didn't sell you out," Christian said through clenched teeth, "But Lilly is a red line, you cross it, I will fucking hand you to them myself."

Louis's eyebrow pulled closer, "What is this, some kind of a modern life Romeo and Juliet remake or what?" He mocked, his eyes drifting between us both. The gun in his hand still pressed to Christian's chest and I wanted to scream at him to move away but he didn't even budge, "You do realize they both die in the end, right?" He carried on, mocking, and so fucking amused.

"But in this version, I wanna be a bit more creative," Louis added, "Only she dies, and you," He said, tapping the gun's barrel over Christian's chest, "You live to tell the story, you live to blame yourself for being the one who brought her into this," He added and Christian's hand shot to the guy's arms, ready to make this a fight, "You dare touch her and-"

"In the end, I wasn't going to let any of them live, anyway," Louis interrupted, "But you made this personal, my friend, and when I kill her, I plan to make it more creative, for your sake only," His voice lowered, wanting only Christian to hear him as he added, "Or maybe I will just do to her what your father did to her mother."

What?

Christian pushed him away, growling in pure fury but this time Louis was fast enough to dodge his punch, and the next thing I saw was the gun in Louis's hand slam into Christian's with so much force, it had him stumbling backward.

I pressed a hand to my mouth, the intensity of the moment freezing me in the spot, like a deer caught in headlights when Louis's eyes fell on me, "Better watch your steps, little one, I will be coming for you soon," With that said, he made his statement and turned around, walking away.

Shaking myself back, I rushed forward toward Christian as he struggled up to his feet, ready to run after him still but my hand curled over his arm, stopping him, my eyes on the blood dripping down his temple as he wiped it away. When I saw by my eyes that he is okay, his injury not as bad as I expected, I let go and stepped backward but he reached for me immediately, "Lilly-"

I pulled my arm away, "I just wanted to see if you're okay," I mumbled and it wasn't till then that I felt the wetness over my cheek, "Leave, and just stop coming after me, Christian," He did the total opposite and pulled me back to him and I fought against his grip, "Lilly, listen to me-"

"No, I don't want to, just leave me alone, why aren't you leaving me alone," My voice raised and I felt his hand over my cheek, I tried to pull away but he kept me in my place, "About what he said, I know it is so wrong, there was no excuse for it but back then I had one intention only," He shook his head, his tone so helpless.

"I don't care, okay, I don't," I said, pushing his hand away, "I don't care, I don't care what you feel right now, I don't care that it's different for you now," Tears streamed down my cheek, "Every time...every time you kissed me or...touched me, you made me feel so special," I shook my head, so disappointed in myself, "While you, you only saw it as a one step closer into breaking me."

He shook his head, and sadness pinched at his eyes, "Lilly, I loved you from the beginning, but my hate for your father didn't let me accept it," He shook his head, "It was easier to pretend that I don't, but I can't do that anymore."

"And I can't stand and hear more of this anymore," I successfully managed to step back from him, "I am just so done, so very done with all of you, just leave me alone, you say you love me, so if you really do, please just leave me alone."

My voice broke, I was practically begging him and this time he listened, he didn't fight as I whirled around and ran into the house, my nerves on edge, so very fed up with everything happening, fed up with everyone, fed up with this joke that has become our lives.

I closed the door shut behind me, panting as I stood there, trying to grasp my thoughts together. If Louis can so easily trespass over every time, then no one is safe. How does he do it? How in hell is he going to be stopped?

"Lilly, are you okay?" Noah's voice had me lifting my head from the ground, meeting him as he walked into the kitchen, his confused gaze flickering all over me, checking and trying to understand what happened.

I shook my head, ever so helpless and his gaze softened the longer he gazed at me, "Hey, come here," He mumbled as he reached for me, urging me to get closer and I pushed myself into his embrace.

"What happened?" he asked, rubbing a gentle hand over my back. I mumbled some gibberish into his chest that meant I will tell you later.

"Noah," I whispered as I pulled back a fraction, lifting my eyes up to meet his, "We are probably leaving today, you will come with us, right?" I asked and he nodded, "Yes, sure."

I let my heart calm down a bit, "Promise me you won't leave my side," I mumbled.

I felt the muscles of his arms tense under my touch but he nodded his head nevertheless, "I promise," He said, shaking his head, and assuring me, "I won't let anything happen to you."

************************************

Hey!

How is everyone doing? It's snowing like crazy over here! ❄️ ⛄️

So, what's your thoughts on the chapter?

Told you, if you want Lilly to be happy, you'd want her to choose herself only, at this moment, neither Chase nor Christian are good for her ;)

If I were her, i'd take a hiatus from all the men in her life xD

Anyways, since this book has way too many characters, being the end of a five books series and all, which character's POV you prefer to see more often? Drop it down here and I will see if I can include it later on.

Try to take all you can lol, when this book ends, we won't be seeing these characters ever again xD

That's all for now, imma go build a snowman, bye and love you all!