"You are not as evil as people think you are."
"No. I'm much worse."

***************

Lilly's POV

I couldn't comprehend what happened; one second Chase and uncle Ashton barged in to get me out of here and I was starting to be relieved, then the next, shots penetrated through the glass, a thick tension enveloped the small cabin, and all I felt was Ashton's hand pulling me down, and shielding me away from their aim.

Panic erupted all over my chest, my hand involuntarily tightened over the sleeves of his shirt, my brain playing the worst possible scenarios ever. Odd silence enveloped the atmosphere for a couple of seconds, the one resembling the calm before the storm, as if they're waiting for us to make the first move before they attack us again.

Uncle Ashton moved to the right, his hand landing over Chase's, snatching the gun out of his grip and turning the safety off, ready to fight his way out of here. Christian discretely moved, my gaze followed as he reached the fireplace, his hand going inside it, searching for something before he pulled out two guns and loaded them.

He inched closer to us again, pushing one of them into Chase's hold, "Don't worry," Christian mumbled, making sure the gun was functional still as he eyed it from all sides before his gaze flickered up to Chase's angry one, "It's my first time using a one too."

Before these two could kill one another with their glares, the crunching sound of glass, accompanied by the careful footsteps inching closer took all of our attention away. Uncle Ashton turned to me and Chase, his tone strict as he ordered both of us, "Stay down."

He focused his attention on the task at hand, he observed the man's blurry reflection over the broken glass scattered down on the floor, his fingers tightened over the gun, calculating his aim before he pulled himself up from behind the couch, and instantly fired his shot. The bullet penetrated through the guy's arm, he groaned in pain and the gun slipped from him into the ground. Ashton moved forward, not wasting a second as he sucker-punched him, throwing him off guard and further away from us.

It wasn't enough though, even with the wounded arm, the man looked trained well enough, he even resembled those that Nikolas and Emma have scattered all around our houses over the past days. He shook himself back in and moved forward, attacking Ashton, both of them fighting for dominance over the other. Uncle Ashton was able to dodge most of his punches, but the intensity of their tussle allowed the man to gain the upper hand for a passing second.

My hand shot to my mouth, struggling to keep myself intact when the man landed a painful punch to Ashton's stomach, pushing him back as he tried to reach for the gun over the floor. Before I could scream or do anything, Chase was the one to rush forward for his father's aid. He was fast enough to kick the gun away from the man's reach and all of his accumulated rage had him hurl the gun in his hand and slam it against our attackers head, the gun's grip collided with the man's temple with so much force that it knocked him backward and unconscious.

My thoughts got interrupted midway when I felt a strong hand curl over my wrist, pulling me up and dragging me toward them. I was too shocked and overwhelmed to react or understand how Christian tightened his hold over my arm and protectively pushed me behind him. My eyes landed on uncle Ashton, making sure he is okay when he wiped at the corner of his mouth, removing the bit of blood away before his gaze flickered outside, "Looks like there are another two or three of them outside," He noticed.

He turned to Chase, "I will try to distract them as you get Lilly to the car," He looked at me, "Then we will get the hell out of here."

I gulped down, terrified to my bones, still unable to adjust to the fact that this is our lives now. Before Chase could reject, uncle Ashton shot him a strict glance, "Do as I said," He grated out, leaving no space for arguing over this.

Christian used his tight grip over my hand to pull me to Chase's side before he let go of me; he is been moving me around like I am a toy of some kind, but I am too stressed to make a fight now, "He is right," Christian said, his gaze drifting from Chase to Ashton, "I will help you distract them."

Ashton gave him a suspicious look, still not fully trusting him, "Now, you're helping?" He commented, his jaw tightening and Christian's eyebrow raised, "I was already helping till your son came and ruined it all," He added the last part while giving Chase a very unpleasant look.

Chase returned the glare, "Grow up, will you," He grated out, his jaw ticking in absolute annoyance, and uncle Ashton shot them both a hard glare, "You two, cut it off," He strictly said, his voice raising the slightest and shutting them both before he pulled his gun off the ground and headed for the door, "Let's go."

He and Christian moved first, ahead of us, to clear our way. Chase, without even looking toward my side even once, wrapped his hand over my arm, so tightly as he pulled me behind him, "Chase, now," Uncle Ashton shot out before he marched to the right toward them and Chase pulled me with him to the left, where the car is parked.

His hold over my hand was too tight, it hurts, but the situation was too serious for me to complain. I let him move me away as he pleased while deep down, I just kept praying that none of them would get hurt, not uncle Ashton, not Chase, and not even Christian. He unlocked the car, opened the backseat door, and pushed me inside, not very gently I might add. Today, these two men just kept pushing me around as they pleased, and I am just so done with it.

Gunshots were being fired behind us and I couldn't get the courage to even look back and witness what was happening. Nerves jackhammered my heart into a wild frenzy, and I tried to gather my breath as Chase roared the engine to life and pulled the car in reverse so fast. His eyes were on the side mirror, on the man uncle Ashton was fighting. With that untamed look in his enraged eyes, he moved the car backward, purposely bumping into the man and knocking him down, "Dad, get in!"

I immediately opened my door, which was closer to uncle Ashton, urging him to get inside quickly, "Just a second," I heard him say as he fired a shot at a distance, trying to get the other guy away from Christian's case. Whatever happened after, it occurred in slow motion, the sound of the car's rear windshield shattering and the sound of my scream was accompanied by the feel of Chase's arm landing over my shoulders and arms, pulling me further down in my seat.

His wide eyes met my shocked ones and I found myself nodding, giving him the answer he was asking, "I am fine," My voice was barely audible, my mind so lost as it tried to comprehend how Chase understood what was about to happen, how fast his reflex was to turn around in his seat and pull me down and away from the shot's path.

At my assurance, he turned back, looking out of his window, "Dad, come on!" He snapped, the situation stressing everyone beyond measures. I moved away when uncle Ashton got inside beside me and closed the door shut. Chase swerved the car around, the force pushing me to uncle Ashton's side and plastering me against him.

Chase halted the car to a sudden stop and moved to his right, pushing the passenger seat's door open, "Get in!" He shot out at Christian, who fired one more shot and jumped inside so quickly, and before he could close the door, Chase had already sped off.

I couldn't move or breathe after, not till I no longer heard the gunshots being fired at us. I was still plastered to uncle Ashton's side, and I didn't want to move away, his presence giving me the enough safety and reassurance I needed. When I realized a couple of minutes had passed and we seemed to be at a safe distance away, I finally inched away from him, my hand leaving him and it wasn't till then that I felt an odd warmness over it.

My gaze drifted down to my hand and the sight of the liquid red over it had my eyes widening before they shot beside me, falling on him as he pressed the back of his head against the seat, his eyes pressing shut, his jaw ticking, slightly wincing as his hand hovered over the...the wound at his stomach and my eyes grew even wider, the shock freezing me in my seat.

"You're okay back there?" Chase's worried voice penetrated through my ears, shaking me back out of my haze, so unaware of what happened as he added, "Dad?"

Uncle Ashton opened his eyes, they turned to me and his hand landed over mine, squeezing at it, the look in his eyes asking me to stop from doing what I was about to do; which is scream at Chase to rush us as fast as possible to the hospital. I silently shook my head and he tightened his hold, "Lilly," He whispered, "I am fine," He added, only for me to hear and the tears rolled down my cheeks uncontrollably, unable to speak or move.

"Yes, Chase," He answered, his voice tight, trying to control his pain and his fingers tightened into a fist over his thigh as he breathed out a stuttered breath, "We are fine, just focus on the road."

He looked back at me and gave me another assuring nod, asking me to keep it down, at least till we are far away from the danger following us. I fought against all of my instincts and listened to him, knowing if Chase learned now that his father is injured, he wouldn't be able to focus on the road ahead and get us away from here. I bit the inside of my cheek, stopping the sob that threatened to tear up at my throat as my hand moved over to his wound and pressed it over his, giving it more pressure as the blood tainted both of our hands.

Christian turned his head around, looking at us, sensing something is off. His eyes fell first at where my hand is, at the blood, before his gaze flickered up to us, making sense of the situation. His jaw ticked, his throat bobbed heavily as his eyes moved to Chase. He pointed at the road ahead of us, keeping him busy with road and running away, "Take a right turn over there," He said and Chase gave him a questioning look, "We need to lose them, they are still on our tail, and I know the roads around here, not you, so listen to me," He added before he looked back at me and gave me a nod, indirectly telling me that he is guiding our way toward the nearest hospital.

I gave him an appreciative look, my cheeks a mess with my unstoppable tears. I moved my head and buried it into Ashton's arm as I mumbled, "I am so sorry," I whispered, ruining his shirt's sleeves with my tears, "I am so sorry," Somehow, someone always ends up getting hurt because of me. It feels like this darkness will follow me forever.

He tightened his grip over my hand, "Hey, hey, I am fine," He mumbled, trying to reassure but nothing could stop the dark thoughts from eating up at my head. Just like dad, he is pretending to be okay, that he is stronger than the pain...it's what they do, what they always have been doing, just for our sake.

I lifted my tear-filled eyes and shook my head, unable to form coherent words without crying out loud and having Chase notice what's happening, "It's okay," he mumbled, his hand tightening over mine, again trying to make me calm down, him soothing me when he is the one who is hurt. I gulped down, kicking those tears to the back and trying to be as strong as I am capable of. He will be okay, he will. There is no other option.

My gaze flickered to the back, watching the other cars, and it felt like maybe we lost them by now. Christian kept checking as well, giving directions to Chase, making sure they are as far as possible as he cleared our path toward the nearest hospital, all while making sure Chase is focused on anything other than what's happening in the backseat. Minutes passed and I just kept my gaze and all of my attention focused on uncle Ashton, making sure he is still here with me, making sure there is enough pressure over his wound for him not to lose more blood.

He rested the back of his head against the seat and his eyes pressed shut, fighting through in order not to lose his consciousness. I knew he was in pain, struggling through it but he didn't show it. Sweat beaded up at his forehead and I pulled a napkin from my side and started to wipe at his temple, trying to do whatever I am capable of for now as I chanted in my head that he will be just fine.

He turned his head toward me, ever so slowly, so lazily, as if it's taking all of his power to make this simple task, his eyelids glided open and he gave me a small appreciative smile at my small effort. The tired blue of his eyes, accompanied by that smile reminded me so much of Chase, when he was at the hospital, all those years ago. I turned my attention to him in the driver seat, both him and Christian arguing over something about the road and my chest tightened, thinking of the immense fear he will feel when he sees his father injured like this.

My dark pessimistic mind couldn't help but think of what would ever happen to him if anything was to occur to uncle Ashton. I immediately shook my head, shaking that thought away, refusing to believe in any of that or even consider it as an option.

I could see us getting closer to the hospital's building. I sniffled, wiping at my cheeks with my sleeves, and gathering myself as I leaned forward in my seat. My hand gently went to Chase's shoulder, "You need to turn over here," I mumbled, pointing toward the road leading to the emergency entrance.

Chase turned his head, his confused eyes fell on me, the car slowing down and I gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze, "I need you to stay calm...but your father got hurt over there," I tried to soften the blow, my voice a bit weak at the shift in his gaze, "We need to get him inside so he won't lose more blood, okay."

In bewilderment, he turned his body around, looking at him, "Dad?" He asked, his voice going weak and uncle Ashton shook his head, immediately stopping him, "I am fine, Chase, it's nothing big, don't worry."

He moved so fast after, swerving the car into the road leading to the emergency entrance, he sped into there and halted to a stop by the main gate. The second the car stopped, he was down on his feet, opening the backseat's door and reaching for uncle Ashton.

With a low groan, he moved, trying to get outside and on his feet. I followed and Christian went down as well, going to their side and helping. They led his way to the emergency entrance and the paramedics rushed forward, helping in getting him inside, while I stood frozen by the car, the light breeze hitting me, whipping at my hair, and getting me acknowledged with everything that is happening in our lives.

I wanted to rush inside, be by Chase's side as we wait for his father to be okay, but I couldn't. I didn't have enough courage to face him, not when his father got hurt because of me.

A coward, that's what I will always be.

I failed to pull and push the air out of my lungs, my back rested against the cold metal of the car as I taught myself to breathe again, to be strong, which I apparently suck at the most. Footsteps neared me and I glided my eyes open, looking up at Christian as he informed me, "They're getting him checked out," He said, "He will be fine, don't worry."

I nodded, rubbing a hand at my aching throat as I asked, "Do you have your phone with you now?"

He nodded and pulled it out of his pocket, handing it to me and understanding what I am about to do. He didn't object as I dialed dad's number and pressed the phone to my ear, waiting for him to answer.

"Hello?" When his voice echoed from the other side, I just wanted to break down into tears.

"Dad," I started to say and before I could explain what happened, he shot out, "Lilly?" He asked in worry, "Where are you? Are you okay?" His questions came out one after the other, "What happe-"

I nodded, even though he couldn't see me, the rock lodging my throat expanded and I interrupted him, "Yes, yes dad, I am fine, don't worry, but...but uncle Ashton, he got hurt and we are at the hospital now."

There was a short pause from his side, as if it took him a moment to actually digest the news before his shocked whispered question came as, "What?"

"Can you come, please," I mumbled, feeling the tears prickle my eyes again.

"Which hospital?" He asked, his worried tone turning into a tight hard one, "Where are you now?"

I shook my head, sniffing as I looked around us, "I don't know-"

Christian extended his hand forward, asking for the phone. He is the one who knows around here more than any of us I guess. Gulping down, I handed it to him. He pressed it to his ear and gave the address to dad and he hung up after immediately, not giving dad a chance to comprehend the fact that this is the same Christian who hates him but is kind of helping us now.

I wiped under my eyes with my sleeves and with the light illuminating from the hospital, I was finally able to see the mess of blood over my sleeves and hands. I tried to wipe it away, hating it so much, unable to get used to its feel over my skin. Christian pulled some napkins from the car and inched closer to my side, taking my hand in his and trying to wipe the blood away.

"You should leave before they get here," I mumbled, looking at him.

His gaze flickered up and I added, "They will lock you down again for what you did."

I'd be a fool to still think Christian is helping Louis, there is no way. But whether he is helping me or not, dad will never see logic when it comes to him.

He shook his head, a bit helpless as he resumed wiping the blood off my hands, "The only place I had left in here is blown up now," He mumbled, his jaw tightening and after seeing those pictures, I understood what that cabin meant to him; it was the last thing left from his father, and again because of me and my bloodline's past, it got stolen from him too.

He lifted his gaze up, giving me a small smile, "So, let them lock me down again, to be honest, I don't care anymore."

I pulled my hands from his grip, getting back to myself and kicking that moment of weakness away. I rubbed at my throat and straightened myself up, "I need to go inside and be by their side," I mumbled, "Do whatever you want, it's up to you."

I was about to walk away but the many footsteps coming up from behind us had me pausing and turning around. My eyes first fell on Nikolas before they went to the two men who rushed to Christian's side, each holding at one arm and pulling him backward. Christian's eyes fell on me and even in this situation, he remarked, "Spoken too soon," He mocked his previous words.

Nikolas stepped forward, his eyes on me, probably checking if I am okay as his gaze studied me for a full second. Something about him felt off and without saying a word to me, he turned his gaze to them and ordered, "Let him go," He said, shocking both me and Christian.

They listened to him and they let go of Christian. Before I could react to his presence or what he did, Nikolas's hand tightly wrapped around my arm and pulled me inside the hospital. Again, another man moving me around like I am a toy. Great, just great. He let go of my arm when we were inside, "Stay here," He said, more like ordered, his tone unwavering before he left me standing there and just...walked away.

Gaping, I stared at his back in total bafflement, unable to understand what's up with him. He is usually softer when he deals with me, also, when did he even get here? I just called dad. Or was he already here? I didn't understand a single thing. I kept staring at his back till he disappeared somewhere inside the hospital. What the hell is happening?

I shook my head and looked around me, walking further inside and searching for Chase. My gaze fell on him, at a distance, sitting in the waiting area, and without thinking, I rushed forward to his side. I sat down on the chair beside his, my gaze on his face as I tried to read his body language; the side of his jaw very tight, the worry filling up his eyes in loads and darkening them to a shade I've never seen on him before.

He didn't turn to my side, almost as if unaware of my presence yet and my hand moved, reached for his fisted one over his thigh, hoping to offer him some comfort but before my skin could collide with his, he moved it away, crossing his arms over his chest and away from my reach, maybe on purpose and maybe not, I tried not to overthink it.

"Chase," I mumbled carefully, resting my hand over his tensed arm, "He will be okay, it-"

Before I could say more, he got up to his feet, indirectly shutting me up as he walked to the opposite side, purposely building distance between us. He rushed a frustrated hand through his hair, it moved to the back of his head, fisting and twisting the soft strands in his furious grip.

I moved forward, trying to reach for him again, not giving up yet because when the situations were switched, he stayed by my side despite all and tried to calm me down at all costs, "I am so sorry," I mumbled, my hand going for his arm again, "I feel like this is my fault and-"

He whirled around, making my hand slip away, "Because it is," He shot out, not sugarcoating it, "I should've not come after you," He shook his head, and chills cascaded in a dizzying wave down my spine, "We were all worried, so fucking worried about you while you were," His eyebrows pulled closer in utter disbelief, "While you were cozying up with your boyfriend."

Lost in the searing anger burning in his blue eyes, I stammered for an answer, trying to explain my situation, "I..."

He shook his head again, "I should've not come after you, should've not placed my father's life in danger, not for you," I knew he is scared, angry, in pain and he needed to just let it out, so I let him, I let him say whatever he wanted, I didn't interrupt him after, I didn't explain, I didn't shout in his face that he can't accuse me of being so selfish, he can't accuse me of running away with Christian when everyone's life was in danger, when my own brother was missing. Does he really think that low of me?

I swallowed hard, not defending myself, letting him use me as a way to let his anger free, "Because you don't deserve it," he added and the venom in his voice lifted the hairs at the nape of my neck, and even when I had accepted his rage, it still hurts.

"But this is what happens to me when it comes to you," He said and leaned in closer, his nose brushing mine and I tried to stand my ground and not unravel at the seams due to the intensity of his fury, "I always end up making the stupidest illogical decisions," He added and I don't think I've ever seen him this angry up close.

He was usually the peaceful one, the one in control, the calm in my storm, but not anymore...

Maybe he refuses to admit it, but just like I changed, he changed too. We both had the right to change and become whatever version of ourselves we are today. Me, the weakest unstable struggling version I am these days, and him, the one harboring in so much anger and hurt left from years ago.

"What do you want me to do?" I mumbled, forcing my voice to stay steady and forcing my eyes to shed no tears.

A sharp breath went down my throat when our eyes locked, "Stay away from me," He said without giving it a single thought as if he needed it more than he needed to breathe, "Can you do that?" He questioned, with the hostility saturating every word, more intense than ever before, "Can you do what you did four years ago and run the fuck away again?" His jaw ticked and he shook his head, "Because unlike you, I don't know how to do that."

It felt like he won't stop till he burns me whole. Till only ashes will be left.

That's what remained after he was finished with me the first time.

After we promised each other with forever. After we both broke it. He can't put all the blame on me when he is responsible for it too, but I wasn't going to say anything now. I understood his situation and despite his hurtful words, I was dying to hug him and tell him that it will be okay, I was burning to take his pain away and soothe him in ways I know that only I can.

But no, I shouldn't. I can't be that girl anymore, not the stupid naive girl; neither the one who would believe Christian and blindly trust him again, nor the one who would come back running to Chase at every inconvenience.

He and I were destined for heartbreak only, over and over again. It's all we ever do.

And I am just so done with heartbreak. So very done with the pain.

I nodded, "You're right," Two words were all I said, going against everything in me for his sake as I calmly backed away from him, as far as I can and granted him his wish, "I am sorry again."

****************

Alex's POV

Nikolas turned his gaze from an oddly-silent Louis to his watch and his jaw ticked, realizing something and I immediately understood. He left Nathan behind to come after this fucker. I knew his silence and unreactive state were only a cover-up for his immense fear.

But with Nikolas, it is scary when he does that, because he could easily get lost there with no coming back. With his being vibrating with that negative energy, he turned to the driver's seat, giving his order before his eyes went back to Louis, observing him up close. The guy had decided to finally shut up, after his last words, he turned his head to the window, looking at the road, ever so silently and deep in his own thoughts.

A few minutes later and the car halted to a stop, I looked out of the window to see the hospital's building. The door opened and Ronald stood there, waiting for us. Louis's eyes flickered to him and his lips twitched the slightest before he turned his head back to the window, pretending to be disinterested. Nikolas looked at me, "Keep an eye on him," He said and I nodded, "I will drop Max at home and then I will come back," I said, "Tell me what happens," I stressed out, I was worried sick about the little kid too, but I also needed to find where Lilly is, check out whether she is safe or not.

Nikolas nodded before he went down and Ronald took his place. Nikolas hissed something at him, probably warning and threatening him not to mess this up before he went away to check over on his son, "Send my regards to little Nathan," Louis said, winking at Nikolas who just decided to ignore him and not fall for his little twisted games.

The car took off and Ronald's gaze fell on Louis, still in shock a bit, and trying to digest the whole situation. Louis gave him a wide grin, all happy for some reason, "Hi," He said, trying to wave his hand even while handcuffed and Ronald shot him a glare, his jaw tightening in pure frustration, "What the hell are you doing, Nathan?" He hissed, the disappointment in his gaze reminded me so much of past me.

Been there, Ronald, been there.

Before I could comment on the situation, the phone vibrated in my hand, and without even looking at the caller ID, I answered it, expecting it to be Ashton; I've been dying to hear back from him since he told me they might've found where Lilly is, but the next words I heard were the total opposite of anything I ever expected.

I couldn't even dwell over the voice that informed me where the hospital is, I couldn't digest the news that was thrown at me all of a sudden, and my eyes went to Louis, knowing he is the one responsible. The anger pushed at my limbs and I wanted to rip him apart now that I knew Lilly is safe but now, he deserve it worse, much worse. He is just going around, hurting everyone, without any care in the world.

His eyebrow raised as he noticed my hard glare, especially when I barked at the driver to turn back and drop me at the hospital when I realized it's the same one Nathan is in as well, "What is it?" He asked, mocking still, and so very amused, "I am hoping it's Lilly, but your look is telling me otherwise."

"Shut up," Ronald hissed at him.

"Just wait till I put my hands on you," I grated out, my fingers twitching before I turned to Ronald, "If anything goes wrong," I warned him, "Nikolas will be the least of your problems, Ronald, keep that in your mind," I added and when the car stopped, I didn't waste a second as I went down and Max followed me, asking about what is happening, but the worry was rapidly eating up at my inside and I couldn't form a single sentence.

"Dad!" I heard Lilly's voice when we entered the hospital before I saw her running toward me. She crashed into my arms and I hugged her so tight, "You're okay, right?" I made sure one more time as she pulled away and I checked her up.

She nodded before she turned to Max, her gaze softening and she threw her arms around him, "Oh thank god, you're okay," She mumbled into his embrace.

"What happened?" I asked, rushing a hand over the top of my head, my nerves crippling with unease and fear.

She pulled away from Max and he kept his arm around her shoulder as she looked at me, "I don't understand how, they came at us and he was...he was trying to distract them, then when he got into the car, he was hurt," Her eyebrows pulled closer in worry and tears gathered in her eyes, "He was still conscious when we got here."

My jaw tightened and I nodded, "I will go check out what's happening," I said, pulling my phone and giving it to her, "Call your mother, she is worried about you two."

I left their side after and searched around, checking with the doctor and for him to allow us to get in and check on him. If he only listens to me when I tell him to stay the fuck away when shit happens in my life, this would've not happened, but no, god sends the most stubborn thick-headed people to trouble me in this life.

I sat down beside Chase, my hand going to his shoulder, "The doctor said he is okay, and when he wakes up, we can see him," I informed him, giving his shoulder a soothing squeeze. He just nodded his head, "I know," He mumbled, his tone neutral and his gaze focused on the window at the far end of the hospital's hallway.

He had his fingers anxiously tapping over the armrest, his jaw tight with worry and so much anger and I decided against opening a conversation now. He is like Ashton in that sense, he just needs a few moments to calm off the stress this situation had forced upon us.

As we waited, I went on to check on Nathan too, only to learn that he is still sedated from after the operation and there is nothing to do but wait as well. I didn't indulge in a conversation with Nik at the moment. I was in no way in the mood to go around making sure everyone was okay when I myself, wasn't. I couldn't give anyone hope when I felt so fucking fed up with this situation. So sick of going on from one hospital to another, from one funeral to the next.

Don't misunderstand me, I care about the bitch, he is my brother after all, but this is what my life has been since he entered it.

I pushed all those thoughts to the back of my mind as I barged into Ashton's room, trying to focus on only this for now. He was trying to sit down and I shot him a hard glare before I closed the door behind me, maybe louder than I should, ready to make from this a scene.

He gave me an innocent questioning look, still trying to get back to himself after the medications wore off and I shot out, "How many times did I tell you that when shit happens in my life, stay the hell away from it, but you never listen to me, do you?"

I paused by the bed, crossing my arms over my chest and he lifted his gaze up to me, "Can you not shout?" He mumbled, slightly wincing, "I think the pain meds are wearing off and you are too loud for my sake now."

I wanted to punch him and smash that face of his but I held myself back, reminding myself that he just got shot. The stupid bimbo.

"Are you happy now?"

His eyebrow raised, "Nothing happened," He pointed out, taking the matter so loosely, "I am alive still, so stop being overdramatic."

"Like hell," I shot back and pointed my hand at him, "Show me your wound," I ordered and he gave me a weirded-out look, "What do you want with my wound?"

I shot him a glare, "I want to see how bad it is," I sat down by the bed's edge, my hand going over the hospital's attire, and tugged at it. Ashton's eyes widened and he moved to the other side of the bed, "Get away from me."

"Show me!" I stressed out.

"I don't want to!" He shot back.

I punched his arm, not as hard as I would've if he wasn't hurt already, "Show me, you bimbo."

"No, get away," He said, still steering away from me, "I am not wearing anything under this."

I rolled my eyes, "So?" I mumbled, "Nothing I haven't seen before."

He gave me another weirded-out look, a bit scared now and I sighed, "What? We shared a dorm room, did you forget?" I reminded him, "So of course I've seen your dick before, nothing impressive, I have what you have, so lift this up and show me the damn wound!"

He paled at my words, "I should've ended my friendship with you a long time ago," He mumbled, more to himself than to me and I shot him a hard glare.

"Well, too bad you love me and you can't live without me," I pointed out, "Remember when you were crying over my grave, I don't plan to do the same now for you, so I need you to be fucking careful next time, you get that?!"

His eyebrow raised, "Such a way to say I love you my dear friend and I can't live without you," He commented ever so sarcastically.

A low sigh parted my lips, the air harshly pushing off my lungs. I felt so tired all of a sudden, exhausted even. I was actually worked up over all of this, not just for the sake of being overdramatic.

"Seriously Ashton," I said, my voice lowering and taking a more stable tone, "I am in a position now where I can't afford to lose anyone, okay."

At my serious tight tone, his eyebrows pulled closer, "What is it?" He asked, sensing my distress.

I shook my head, "It's just..." I looked down at my lap, "Is it wrong that I am just so fed up with all of this?" I mumbled, rushing a hand over my face and rubbing at my eyes, "That I am this close to losing my fucking mind," I pressed my forefinger to my thumb, showing him how close I am to snap, just like Nikolas did. I don't blame him actually, I am teetering right on that edge as well.

Lines etched his forehead in worry and my jaw tightened, "I am worried at Max and Lilly, all the damn time, and whatever I do, I still can't shield them away from this," Helplessness tightened my chest, "Lilly is a mess since she came back from London, and Max...god, I don't know if it's possible for him to ever feel okay again," I've been in his shoes and god knows how much I sucked at dealing with it, "Cara is worried at them all the time, the stress is tiring her, taking from her health and I am just..." I breathed out a loud breath, "I am just so very tired of all of this, it just doesn't end, does it?"

"Alex, I know it's hard, I know it is for me even but you need to understand that you can't protect them from everything," Ashton said, "You won't always be there to do that," He added, and I knew he is right, that they're practically adults now, but no, no, they will always be young kids in my eyes.

"It feels impossible for us to do this, but sometimes, we should...we should let them fight some battles on their own, or else they will never learn," He shook his head, "Or else...what will they do when they're on their own and we are not there to fix it?"

The words hidden in between the lines had my chest tightening some more; just the thought of leaving them in a world I didn't prepare them for, it left me questioning everything I ever did. Fuck, did I do all of this wrong? Did I actually fail as a father? See, this...this is messing with my mind and it's taking its toll on me.

"You need to take a step back and calm down for a second," Ashton urged, noticing my out-of-sorts state, "You don't have to take the weight of it all over your shoulders only."

I nodded, "I have to," I mumbled, looking at him, "I made a mistake and they're paying the price for it."

His eyebrows pulled closer, "Killing Lucas was not a mistake," He pointed out, addressing the Christian part of it...but no, that was the least of my problems now.

I shook my head, "Not that, Ashton."

Confusion wrapped up his expression, "Then what?"

I shook my head, "I am not sure I am ready to say it out loud yet," It felt wrong to say it. After everything Nikolas and I went through together, it felt so wrong to call it a mistake.

The confusion faded away and was replaced by understatement as he saw right through me, "Alex," He mumbled and I shook my head, "Told you, I am this close to losing my mind," I added, explaining the reason behind these thoughts.

My shoulders slumped down, almost in defeat and Ashton placed his hand over it, giving it a tight squeeze, trying to shake me back in from whatever messed up tricks my mind was cooking.

I nudged him with my elbow, changing the subject, "Will you show me your wound now?"

He shot me a glare and removed his hand from over me, using it to push me away, "Get out of here."

*****************

Louis's POV (slash Uncle Nathan's POV)

"I remember you to be more fun than this," I mumbled as Ronald dragged me out of the car and to somewhere, being so not very gentle I might add.

He turned to look at me, his gaze burning with anger and so much more, "I can't believe what you did," He hissed, thinking his disappointed tone will wake up the DNA in me that we share, "Going after literal kids, huh," He grated out, tightening his grip over my arm, "First Max and now Nathan, your very own nephew," He shook his head, "I can't believe this!"

I rolled my eyes, "Don't be overdramatic, they both lived to tell the story," I said with a sigh.

He paused in his steps and held me with a smoldering glare, "What do you think you will get from this?" He grated out and my smile widened, "Hurting literal kids, where will you draw the fucking line?"

"I don't draw any lines," I said, casually, "I learned that from Nikolas actually," I pointed out, my eyebrow raising, "To get what I want, I should just do anything with no restrainst or any ethical barrier, right?"

"Nikolas would only kill you in return," He grated out, not liking that fact very much.

"Why does everyone think so low of me," I pouted, "I am stronger than him, I am better than him," I shrugged, "And come on, I am already getting what I want."

"What is it? Breaking him?" He asked in mockery.

My smile widened and I shook my head, "No, he will do that to himself," I said, "If he is still that same Nikolas, he will ruin everything good in his life by his very own hands," I added, "All I will have to do is sit and watch, and when he is done, I will make my move and take what was supposed to be mine from the start."

"Now, how about we stop talking and have some fun?" I added, giving him a wink and having enough with the whole brotherly catching up as I moved my free hands from behind me and placed the handcuffs in his hands, "Handcuffs?" I mocked and his eyes widened, "Very old school I might add, didn't even take me a minute to get them off."

I knew the other two men were behind us, already on alert and I whirled around so fast, my hand going to Ronald's pant and snatched his gun off before I fired at the man's head. The other had already taken notice and came at me, it didn't help that my hand was already injured but still it was easy peasy lemon squeezy as I kicked him hard enough, pushing him away from me and fired a bullet at his head.

The gun's barrel pressing against my back had my lips twitching, "Don't move," He grated out, his voice hard enough and to be honest, I felt proud.

His hand shot to mine, holding my wrists back and pulled me closer to him, his gun still pressed into my back, "You know, my father taught me something," I started to say and Ronald pushed the gun's barrel further into my back, "He is not your father!" He snapped, bewildered.

"He is," I said with a sigh, "I don't see you saying that about Alex and Max," I added, "Family isn't just sharing DNA, Ronald," I pointed out the obvious, "Anyways, he taught me something really important."

Ronald dragged me away, wanting to push me inside, thinking he can contain me in there, "He told me to know all of my opponent's weaknesses and strengths before I attack," I added, "And I know that you got shot in your leg once, it hit a main nerve that till this day," I used my position and kicked him as hard as I can at where I knew it will hurt him the most.

A loud groan erupted from his throat, the aim of my attack making him flail, "Till this day, if you get hit on the right spot, you wont be able to walk on that leg for some time," I said and didn't waste a second as I pushed him to the ground, he fell down and I went on top of him, keeping a pressure on that spot to stop him from getting up easily, "See, easy peasy lemon squeezy."

His blue eyes blazed with so much fury, unable to comprehend what happened, "I don't want to hurt you, Ronald," I said and he used the only defense mechanism he had at the moment, the gun that is still in his hand and he pressed it to my chest, "You are not my little brother, Isaac made sure of that, didn't he?"

He shook his head in disbelief, "You're doing it all for him?" He said, his eyebrow raising, "Does he even deserve it?"

"Isaac gave me everything," I grated out, not accepting to hear them badmouth him now, "Not you, not Natalie, and not your father, Isaac was the one who took care of me, and even when he died, he made sure I was taken good care of after," I gritted my teeth, "Isaac isn't the one who stood aside and let Nikolas hurt me," I remarked, spitting facts, "And now, I am here to carry on with his mission and take my rightful place in this family."

I lowered my head down, my nose almost brushing his, and a smirk pulled up at the corner of my lips, "Nathaniel Viarchi, a name fitting for a king, don't you think."

His jaw tightened and I added, "Ronald, in this, you are either with me or against me," I said, my hand going to his over the gun and I pressed it further into my chest, "You either kill me, or you let me go, you decide."

"I am not going to kill you," He grated out of his strained throat, struggling to make up his mind, "Then, you let me go," I pointed out.

"No, if Isaac is your family, then these people are mine and I won't let you hurt them anymore," He shot out, growling and pushed me away, trying to switch our position and get the upper hand over me but he did the mistake of underestimating me again. I kicked his injured leg again before I slammed my head against his, so hard it had the back of his head slam against the ground with enough force to knock him unconscious.

I pulled myself to my feet and rubbed a hand over my forehead, wiping the blood that furiously dripped down, "I said I don't want to hurt you," I said, my jaw tightening as I gathered myself together, "But that doesn't mean I won't."

***********************************

Hey, sorry for taking long again, I was moving out into a new house, and I was so tired and now I am sick :(

The chapter is shorter than usual, but I will update soon, like really soon I promise, I already have a couple of days off and I am bored out of my mind, so I will just fill my time with writing.

So, what's your thoughts about this chapter?
What about Nik's state? Alex's state
Also our villain Louis? xD

Btw, I know there are those who want Lilly to end up with Chase and those who want her to end up with Christian, but if you want the best for her and for everyone to be happy, you'd want her to end with neither of them xD

Which team are you now:
1) #teamChase
2)#teamsChristian
3)#teamNoOne xD

Don't forget to drop down your opinions, and motivate me to write the next chapter faster!

Love y'all♥️