"A fresh start isn't a new place, it's a new mindset."

***************

Lilly's POV

He returned my words with silence. Utter silence.

A big part of me wanted to take back my last sentence. I wasn't ready to talk about that yet but I tried to stand my ground still. I need to make him look past the anger, past the rage that made him inflict this brutal horrific assault over someone who is partially...innocent.

Chills cascaded over my skin as I waited for him to say a thing. A low breath pushed out of his lungs and he looked away for a second. I swallowed past all the uncertainty when he muttered the next words, "I know," He said, his eyes falling back on mine, the light in them dimming a bit, the whole conversation beyond uncomfortable for the both of us.

He rushed a hand over his face, "I've seen them before."

Before?

"But that doesn't make him innocent," He added, shaking his head, "I can't just let him go, he hates me, Lilly, probably more than anyone ever did, and that hate could push him to do worse," He was right in that sense, it's what scares me still, "He already hurt you, I am not gonna give him a chance to do it again. Never."

"Then what, dad?" I asked weakly, still lost between what's right and what's wrong, "You really gonna kill him?"

"No, he won't," My head whipped to the other side as Nikolas came from the other side. He took a stop beside us, his words held a promise when he added, "I will."

I shook my head, "No, you can't," I shook my head again, bewildered at them both, "You just can't, he doesn't deserve to die!"

Lines etched between his eyebrows, "He hurt you, he literally kidnapped you, he threatened your life, and he is still protecting those who hurt Max," The muscles of his jaw worked, the anger in his eyes made him look dangerous, "What more reasons do we need to end his life, huh?"

"If that's how it works, then dad had a million reasons to end your life as well," I looked between them before my eyes settled on his green one, my tone challenging, "But he didn't."

"Oh, I did alright," Dad interjected, scoffing as he pointed at his brother, "It's not my fault he doesn't know how to die."

Nikolas shot dad a glare before he turned back to me, focusing all of his attention as he took another step forward, "Yes, Lilly, I agree, you're right in that sense, Christian's doing can't be compared to mine," He nodded, not shying away from my implied words, "I will always be the biggest monster in the room," His eyebrow raised, "But when someone dares to lay a hand on those that I care about," He edged forward, showing me his real face, "I will make their life a living hell," He shook his head, "No matter who they are or who I am now."

"But you said you are a changed man," I mumbled, my voice low, reflecting all of my doubts and fear.

He shook his head, "Not when it comes to this."

I tried to keep my tone steady and confident as I refused this whole situation, "I know that dad won't do this, he won't kill him," I looked at dad, my eyes pleading him to prove me right, "If you put aside your overprotectiveness over me, just for one second, you will see that Christian didn't do wrong, you know that he is innocent, dad, that he is hurt and you know this is not fair," Dad didn't interrupt me, he listened, "I know by heart that the father who raised me would never kill an innocent person."

I turned back to Nikolas, "But I don't know that about you," I shook my head, "I don't even know you," It was the truth, "But here I am, willing to give you a chance, a chance to know you better, to see if I can trust you," I was hoping to reach the compassionate caring part of him he showed me before, "My parents gave you a chance, so I thought maybe...maybe you deserve it," The harshness was slowly leaving his eyes, "You said I changed you, then prove those words right and don't kill him."

"Because if you do, you'd lose any chance of me ever forgiving you," I added, aiming to hit a sensitive spot.

He shook his head, his words a bit helpless, "We can't let him go," He said and dad interjected, adding, "That would be like giving him a chance to hurt you or hurt Max again."

I nodded, "Okay, then don't, at least not till we find out who hurt Max, don't let him go, but you need to stop whatever that is," I pointed at the closed door that held behind a beaten up and bloody Christian, "Stop hurting him," I looked between them both, because Christian's state is just pure cruelty, "He is one man only, just one man, he has no one, he has nothing to defend himself," Emotions gathered in my eyes because I hated injustice, "He is hurt, he lost his father, he was a kid and he saw his father's dead body in that very horrific state," I still remember the videos, "Maybe his father deserved to die but no kid ever deserves to witness such a thing."

One tear broke free as I stared at dad, ever so helplessly, because when I only see it in my dreams, it kills me, so what if I went through what Christian had to go through. I won't handle it.

"He had a million chance to hurt me, to physically cause me pain, he had a chance to do much worse than what you did," I added, looking at Nikolas, "But he didn't, because even when his thoughts are wrong, he isn't a bad person," I looked back at dad, "And you know that."

I was about to walk past them and get back upstairs, but I paused my steps, "At least, just bring a doctor to check on him," His scars and wounds flashed behind my eyes, the blood still fresh as it seeped through and I shook my head, dismissing the image, "Because if he dies," My words were directed at Nikolas and for a second, I think I reached through to him, "Then, you will go back to be dead to me as well."

I left my sentence hanging there, desperately hoping that my few words changed their mindset, even if just by a bit. Anxiety grabbed me by the throat and I headed down the hallway. Everything I said to dad and to him finally sinking in.

The reality of this situation is too heavy. It's still hard to digest, that my father once killed, that he could be this brutal, that my family was once part of this outlaw thing. They kill, they play the executioner with no restraints. My jaw tightened and I curled my finger into the inside of my fist, unable to accept this truth just yet.

Instead of making my way up the stairs, I made a turn and landed back in the main room where I was trying to train in over the past few days. I scoffed at myself, I could barely even do that right. A frustrated sound made it out of my throat; looks like I can't do one thing right in this stupid life.

Too much anger, too many unwanted emotions beat down at my chest and I needed a release. Anything to rid me of these doubts, of these many insecurities I never had before.

Determined, I pulled my leg up the ropes and jumped into the ring. I took my sweatshirt off and stayed in the tank top under. I placed it away and pulled my hair into a ponytail. I leaned down and reached for the boxing gloves that I left laying there on the floor from the last time I was in here. I placed them on and tightened the tape enough before I took my position beside the punching bag.

I let the overwhelming thoughts break free and tried to follow Emma's instructions as I landed my first punch. She said my hand should be relaxed all the time, except when the punch connects because all the strength will be needed at the moment of impact. She said if I am doing it right, my wrist won't hurt.

I groaned and landed my second punch, my wrist and my whole hand ached, my nerves straining. I was doing it wrong again. I didn't care and landed the third, the fourth, the fifth...groaning in pain as the punching bag reacted to my assault, swaying at the impact.

I don't want Christian to be hurt more. Punch. I also don't want any member of my family to get hurt by him. Another punch. I wish he never met me. Punch. He said he was all okay till he saw dad again when he dropped me off on that very first day. Punch. Punch. Punch.

My fault. My fucking fault. Punch. I was the one who insisted to come here, to run away, away from Chase, away from the heartbreak. I was the one stupidly needing a new fresh start. Another fucking Punch.

What did I gain? Nothing. I ended up hurting Chase, betraying him, losing the one guy who I loved with everything in me. I ended up turning Christian's life upside down, reminding him of the past. I ended up breaking down my family, hurting my mom. Punch. My dad. Punch. My little brother.

I let out a scream I couldn't hold in anymore and I stopped my attack on the punching bag. I was panting, out of breath, my lungs grew tighter as I fought for my next exhale and inhale. Every muscle in my arm was aching and I tore the gloves off my hands. I threw them away, frustrated at these unbearable feelings that I can't get free from.

I keep trying and I just...can't.

I sat down, unable to stand still anymore, my back laid against the ropes and I pulled my knees up. I pressed my eyes shut and buried my face in my hands, wishing for a miracle, that when I open my eyes again, I won't be here. That it would be five years ago, I would be in my home, with my parents arguing at the stupidest simplest of things, with Max annoying me every passing second; With me teasing Chase, me having my first innocent kiss, my heart having it's first erratic beat when it realized it was in love with that boy all along.

There was no Christian back then, no killing, no murders, no monsters under the bed, nothing...

It was all pure and simple.

The feeling of someone joining me inside the ring had me lifting my head up from my hands, my eyes falling on Emma's confused gaze as she eyed my state. She didn't ask a thing, she didn't utter a word as she edged closer and sat down beside me. She let out a low sigh and laid her back against the ropes, her head tilting backward as she stared up at the ceiling.

I thought she'd ask me what's wrong, that if I needed to talk about it, I can, but no, she kept silent, careless. I sighed, I seem to forget that she is the same Emma who I never saw anything nice from her side, not till very recently.

I kept looking at her and couldn't stop myself from asking, "How do you do it?"

My words seemed to grab her attention to me, her eyes fell on mine, questioning and I clarified, "You're different, but you are okay with it, I mean I have a feeling not everyone likes you," I was one of those who didn't, "They probably judge you for the way you are, yet you don't seem to care, you are confident with the way you are, so how...how do you do it?"

The small smile curving the corner of her lips reflected that she understood me. She shrugged, ever so casually, "Well, it's simple, I mean this is who I am, so either leave it or take it," She shook her head, "If I am gonna have to change myself just to be accepted by someone, then I don't need such a person in my life."

She straightened herself and turned to me, "I think I get how you feel, Lilly."

She nodded, "People make mistakes, it's normal," She gave me an exaggerated eye roll as she pressed her hand over her chest, "I've done my fair share of mistakes, and to be honest, I still do, it's part of being...human I guess," She clarified, "It means you just need to learn from that mistake and not repeat it again, or not put yourself in that situation again, but it doesn't mean you need to change yourself."

"It doesn't?"

She shook her head, "Definitely not. Be who you are. Your good and your bad sides, own all of it, and if people don't like it, then to hell with them," She scoffed, "But at least, by this, you would be true to yourself, and this would be the real genuine you."

She shrugged, "And yes, people won't like it, believe me, I know, but those who do and stay, even after they see this imperfect you, those inexact are worth it."

I didn't know if she was speaking from experience, or is it just age that makes someone wiser, "Because they don't just accept you, no, for some reason, they see you as...perfect when you are everything but," A small smile curved her lips, "They will love your bad as much as your good, so why would you choose to lie to yourself and be someone you aren't."

"Is it that simple?"

She nodded and I turned my body around, interested in the conversation, "And who exactly are those people, the ones that accept you no matter what?"

"First, your family, of course," She said and I nodded, agreeing. Mine forgave me right away, that's true, "And then, there is always that special someone," She said that last part teasingly and gave me a wink.

That was true as well. Chase loved my imperfect side, he loved my wild reckless stubborn nature as much as he loved whatever good side of me existed, but...

"What if you had that special someone, but you messed it up?"

"I believe in something called a second chance," She said, her eyebrow raising.

"Does that really exist?" I am slowly losing my faith in that.

She gave me a knowing look, her smile speaking experience, "Yeah, believe me, it does."

The positiveness in her response had me smiling as well, my inside calming a bit and that overwhelming frustrated feeling slowly leaving me be.

I pulled into a deep breath, my anxious nerves finally taking a break, "You know, we are leaving in like two days, so, you won't be able to teach me more moves," I commented, my eyes drifting around the room before they fell back on her, "I still suck, by the way."

She chuckled, "Yeah, I know that, but still, you can carry on your own, and whenever you visit, we can have a go at it, right?"

I nodded, "Yeah, also uh, you would come to the US as well, right?" I never thought I'd be excited for Emma to visit us. Wow, look what a couple of days can change.

She nodded, "Yeah, I think I will," She said and gave me a wink, "I kind of liked having you around."

"Which reminds me," She changed the subject, placing her hands into her pockets, pulling something out, "I wanna give you something."

"Is it a gun?" I asked, excitedly.

She shot me a glare, "Of course not, do you want Alex and Nikolas to kill me?"

My shoulders slumped down in disappointment, "But it's something similar," She teased and showed me the folding knife in her grip, "I am more famous for my knives by the way," She winked and I smiled, reaching for the item in her palm.

"It's blue," I commented, addressing the dark blue handle as I folded it open and the sharp silver blade came out. Woah, that could easily rip through anyone's flesh.

"Yeah, I noticed you only wear that color, so it's a match," She said, "I mean, if you wanna kill someone, why not do it with style," She added ever so casually before her eyes grew a bit wide, "But that doesn't mean go and kill someone!" She warned and I chuckled at how silly the thought is, "Yeah, I know."

I barely hurt Christian and I've been having nightmares ever since. I only wanted a gun, or any weapon for that matter just to feel safe, that in case anything happens, I will have something, anything to defend myself and those around me if given the chance.

I folded the knife, letting the blade sink back inside. My gaze lifted up to hers and my smile widened, "I like it."

She nodded, content at my response before she got up to her feet. She extended her arm, offering a hand and I placed mine in hers as she helped me get up as well. I took my sweater before we stepped out. I placed the knife inside the pocket, better to hide it, if dad sees it, he would make a scene as always.

Emma's gaze was on my blue sweater, her gaze questioning, "Why do you like the color blue so much?" She asked, "It's such a boring color."

I smiled, I wasn't going to share that answer with anyone.

I gave her a shrug, smiling as I said, "I just like it."

***************

Alex's POV

"She is something alright," Nikolas mumbled in annoyance as Lilly threw her words and walked away.

I sighed, "Yeah, tell me about it," At least someone who understands what I've been dealing with for the past twenty years. One look from her, one tear, and I always did whatever she wanted. Now, she was messing with my mind again, changing my plans and the fucked part was...she is partially right.

Partially only.

I rushed a hand over my face, "We're not gonna kill him," I said and Nikolas cursed something under his breath, because he knew that this is the right thing to do, "Not for now at least."

"Violence isn't working on him, he thinks we'll kill him no matter what, so maybe we can try a different way," I added, "Maybe promise him freedom if he tells us who did it."

Nikolas shook his head, "We're not letting him go."

I nodded, "Of course we are not, but we need to find out who hurt Max, that's the real danger and it's still out there, whereas Christian can't do a thing, he is all talk, nothing more," I huffed out, really tired and sick of all of this, "So, I can't help but feel like we have the wrong guy inside." Whereas the real one is out there, probably planning more damage.

Nikolas started pacing around, "I don't think he is gonna talk," He said, pausing in his anxious steps, "Everything we did and he is still protecting them, it has to be someone he cares about, or why else would he be willing to give his life and not rat them out."

"We looked into his close group of friends, no one looked suspicious," I pointed out. To be honest, I don't believe in that anymore, Christian looked clean at first yet the bitch turned out to be another ghost from my past, "And even if they are responsible, what's the motive?"

Nikolas shook his head, "Something doesn't add up," He said as he rubbed a hand over the back of his neck, his brain working, thinking, and trying to figure this out before his eyes met mine again, "We couldn't save everyone that day, and we thought Chris died in the explosion but here he is, alive," He pointed at the door, "Someone else saved him, and now he has all those proofs and videos, so of course Isaac had a hand in it."

"Of course Isaac was behind this," I said, that part was obvious, "The thing is, Christian did what he did because I killed his father, but who else has an agenda against us," I scoffed and added in mockery, "What other fathers did we kill-" I paused midway in my sentence, a theory, so little clicking in my head and my eyes grew a bit wide at the realization.

Nikolas gave me a knowing look, the same theory already forming in his mind, "You're thinking what I am thinking?" He asked and I nodded.

"Christian wasn't the only one in the asylum that day," I mumbled and he nodded.

"He told Max it's payback to both of your fathers," Nikolas added, his jaw ticking, "He is after me, not after you."

My fingers curled into the inside of my palm, "Isaac raised him well, didn't he?"

"Fuck, this keeps getting more complicated," I grated out, raking my fingers through my hair, "We need to tell Ronald," I pointed out, letting out a tired sigh, "And you need to call your wife."

He shook his head, "I am not saying a thing till I make sure of it."

"We need to figure out a plan fast, if this is true, we need to find him," I pointed out and Nikolas nodded, the same urgency surging through his being.

"In two days, I have to go back, you're leaving as well, right?" I asked.

"I was thinking about staying a bit longer but no, I should go home as well, it's been a while."

I nodded, "Yeah, go home for now," I started, "This bitch can stay here with Roman and Emma till we figure out what we'll do with him," I sighed, "And we...well, we can focus on the more important part."

"Okay," Nikolas nodded, "But let's not tell anyone about this yet," He added, the muscles of his jaw tightened, "Because if it's true, he won't live to see tomorrow," He shook his head, and in his eyes, I saw the old Nikolas back, the one I hated but also needed at the moment, "I would spare Christian's life but not him, no way, not when he wants Max dead."

Venom wrapped between his words as he added, "We don't need another Isaac in our lives."

*************

Two days Later...

Lilly's POV

I dropped my bag on the ground, and my eyes drifted behind me one more time, my gaze going to the door making sure no one caught me as I snuck in. Letting out a low sigh of relief, I turned back ahead of me and unlocked the metal door, all thanks to Wyatt's keys.

I opened it, grabbed my bag, and made my way down the stairs, hoping it's the last time I'll ever do so.

Thankfully, we are going back home today in a couple of hours and I couldn't be more relieved at the fact. Neither dad nor I mentioned anything about Christian since the last time he caught me here. I am not sure what they decided on, but whatever it is, before leaving, I need to see how he is doing...for one last time.

I probably won't ever see him again.

I unlocked the other door and stepped inside, my eyes immediately going to the only conscious man in the room. His tired grey eyes flickered up to mine and I walked further in, my gaze taking into his condition. He doesn't look any better, but he doesn't look worse either. I think they stopped with their assaults on him, at least this time he is fully conscious. Last time, he was a total mess.

His confused eyes followed as I paused by his side and crouched down, meeting his level. He stared back at me as I took him in, trying to make sure if they actually stopped hurting him. My gaze flickered down to his hands and I noticed the bandage wrapped around his wound. My heart calmed a bit and a small smile lifted my lips...Nikolas actually listened to me.

On its own accord, my hand went toward his, checking as I gently turned it around. The white bandage was tainted with the red blood, wrapped around his wounds very carelessly, but still, it's better than nothing.

His fingers twitched at my touch and my gaze flickered up to his face again. I noticed the bob in his throat, the hard swallow before he let his eyes drift away from me.

Instead of making this awkward, I opened my bag and pulled the sandwich and the water from its inside, "I don't think they're giving you any food, so-" I said, placing them beside him. I mean, even prisoners get food, right?

His lost gaze flickered from the food then back to me. His eyebrows pulled closer, lines etched his forehead as he asked, "Why?" The word left him over a low whisper, "Why are you doing this, Lilly?"

I just shook my head, refusing to answer. Yes, I feel bad for him, but I still didn't forgive him for what he did, for all the lies and the manipulation. I just think this isn't a fair punishment. The time didn't fit the crime this time.

"I heard what you told them that day," He added, "You were defending me, Lilly," His gaze was pure clueless, just confused, nothing more, "I hurt you, did you forget that?"

I shook my head once again, "No, of course, I didn't," I clarified, "So yeah Christian, you lied, but to be honest, if there is anyone to be blamed over here, it's me," I am still trying to make my peace with that, trying to accept my mistakes and hopefully get over them one day, "You didn't force me into anything, it was all my own choice," If I choose to stay away from Christian, then I would've not given him the opportunity, "I chose to be with you, I chose to trust you, to believe you, and that why it sucks big time, because it was all on me."

Dad was right before, me and mom are nothing alike. She was forced to leave, or else she would've never done it. While me, I ran away willingly.

My gaze drifted down, the shame tugging hard at my insides, but as Emma said, I need to own all of my parts, both good and bad.

"I am not going to apologize for what I did," His words had me facing him again.

I nodded, "I didn't expect you to."

He shook his head, "I can't regret what I did, Lilly, or else what was the point?"

A war of emotion raged into his eyes and I don't know why but I feel like I understand him now, it's almost as if I can differentiate between what was a lie and what was true over the past two years. I didn't argue with him, I didn't reject or accept any of his words, "I am leaving," I announced, "I probably won't see you again, which is probably best for the both of us," The ache I keep trying not to feel pressed up against my chest just proving that heartbreak after any relationship is inevitable, "I need to forget you."

He didn't comment on my words, instead, he turned his head away, refusing to face his thoughts and feelings. I edged forward a fraction, getting closer to him, I wanted to test something, I wanted to understand my feelings, to understand me. His closeness didn't make my heart accelerate, it didn't tighten my stomach, it didn't bring any need I used to have toward him.

Something inside me was calm and silent, almost numb. My heart realized it was in love with a lie and it gave up on feeling anything anymore, not for now at least.

My hand went to his cheek, my thumb brushed one of the many bruises over there as I said, "I don't wish you a bad life, I just hope you get your beliefs straight, sooner better than later," I added, "To be honest, I really hope you'll finally get over his death and go back to a somewhat better life."

Maybe I crossed a line, because my words seemed to trigger him. I felt the muscles of his jaw work before his hand shot out to my wrist, breaking the contact. He edged forward, his face a breath away from mine and his eyes fired up, "That's never gonna happen, not as long as your father is happy and breathing," He grated out through clenched teeth, trying to scare me but he failed, "I will get out of here, Lilly and when I do, you're the first one I am coming after."

I nodded, "Keep saying that Christian, maybe one day, you'll believe it," Maybe I am still naive, but his eyes spoke different words from those escaping his lips, "You lied and manipulated but in between those, you also showed me parts of the real you," I shook my head, "Maybe pretending to love me was all an act, but other things about you were true," My words seemed to shut him up, "The Christian that can love and care, the one who would do anything for his friends, the one who had hopes and dreams about his career, that Christian is you."

I smiled, "All of your university projects were humanitarian, concerned with helping kids that were neglected, the orphans, homeless people, and much much more," I always liked that about him, "You had a real passion for these projects, and it wasn't a lie to get me to like you, that much I am sure of," The anger that radiated off him seconds ago was slowly fading away because he knows that I am right, "Because Christian, you are not a bad person, you are just someone who hates injustice and to be honest, you are right to some level."

I nodded, "It wasn't fair. I get it, it's not fair."

He shook his head, his voice hoarse as he said, "It's not."

"I know. You were right, I had this perfect life, I had everything, I had my mom and my dad and I never needed anything," I said, "But, the thing is, that man that you hate with a passion, that man didn't have a perfect life either, my father suffered, like you and even much more," I was reaching for the part of him that cared, the compassionate one I am sure it exists, "My mom as well, she didn't have it easy, nor did Nikolas, they all suffered."

"Life was unfair to them as well," I wanted to leave my words for him to analyze, "Think about that, and maybe for once you'll be able to see past the anger and the pain, maybe that would help you finally move on."

I pulled myself up to my feet, ready to leave the part of my life that included him right here, right at this moment. The second I turned around, my eyes fell on the person standing by the doorway, his eyes on Christian. I halted to a stop as his green eyes flickered and held mine. I couldn't help but wonder for how long was he standing there and listening.

I gulped down and let my gaze drift to the ground as I exited the room. He closed the door shut and locked it. Silently, he extended his hand forward, asking for the keys and without arguing about it, I placed Wyatt's keys in his palm.

"Are you gonna shout at me or something?" I asked, I mean this is not the first time I am sneaking in here and his energy isn't screaming very happy at the moment.

His eyebrows pulled closer and he shook his head, "No."

"So, you are gonna scold me?" I asked, trying to figure out his reaction to me sneaking in food to Christian.

He shook his head again.

"What then?" I asked, a bit frustrated. Does he really not get angry at me, like at all?

He stared at me for a second too long, "It's just, you reminded me of Alex a lot right now," He said, nodding toward the closed door, "He would always do what you just did," A hint of a smile formed over his lips, "He'd bring me food knowing very well he'd get scolded because of it later," My head formed an image of my dad and Nikolad young and all, "And even after everything that happened, he would still reason with me the way you just did with him, trying to reach the human in me, or whatever good was left."

"Like him, you see the good in people," He added and I smiled, I love it when they say I am like my dad in some things.

"Is it a bad thing?"

He shrugged, "Sometimes."

I flashed him an angelic smile, "So, you're not angry that I snuck in here again?"

His eyebrow raised, "Lilly, I can never be angry at you."

"I can change that you know, just ask dad," I pointed out, half-joking, half-serious, "I can be really annoying when I want to."

At my teasing smile, he smiled, "As I said, just like Alex."

My smile widened and it wasn't till now that I realized how smoothly our relationship has developed over the past week. I didn't decide a thing concerning him just yet. I allowed things to be the way they are, I let the pace take us in and it made me...not hate his presence.

I hate to admit it, but I am still very much curious about him.

"Are you leaving with us?" I couldn't help but ask.

He shook his head and the sinking feeling in my stomach felt so misplaced. Was I really that excited for him to come back with us?

He must've read the disappointment over my face because he immediately added, "I need to go home, just for a couple of days," He scratched the back of his neck, "And after that, I will come back."

I nodded, "Good," I said, excited, "I mean, we didn't finish our training yet," I pointed out casually, raising an eyebrow.

His smile was heartfelt, like he really enjoyed my presence, just talking with me, just be there when I am talking nonsense.

"Also, Max still wanted you to be around for a while," I added, the conversation uncomfortable but I felt the need to bring it up.

His smile slowly faded at the topic and he nodded, "I know."

"You won't hurt him, right?" I asked, the hurtful look in Max's eyes flashing behind my eyelids and tightening my chest. I miss him.

"Lilly, isn't it obvious that I would never harm either of you, in any way?" He said, so seriously, "I can handle your hate, and your blame, I can take all of that, but the one thing I can't handle is something happening to either of you."

"I believe you," I said, because that's how I felt and he tipped his head up to me, a little taken aback, "And I think Max will too, he just needs time."

He nodded, but his gaze uncertain. Deep down, I just wanted this bad part of our lives to end already. I didn't want anyone to be hurt anymore, I want us all to be one big family, with no one out there still planning to hurt us.

I pulled into a deep breath. Not wanting to dig any deeper into these uncomfortable moments, I checked my watch, "Let's go back upstairs," I urged, "We'll be leaving in a bit."

He nodded and we both made our way back. I couldn't help but sneak one last look at the place behind me, at the closed door that held him behind. I let out a low sigh, I hope Christian would think my words through, I hope he'll consider them.

Once we landed in the hallway, dad's eyes fell on us, "Where were you?" He asked me.

Before I could answer, "She was with me," Nikolas said for my benefit.

Dad stared at us suspiciously before he shook it off, "Okay, we need to leave now, are you ready?"

I nodded and stepped forward toward them. Dad and Nikolas started to talk about something and I took the time to bid my goodbyes. Uncle Roman was there, I hugged him and he hugged me back, asking me to be careful and take care. Beside him was Wyatt, I ruffled his hair and he groaned in annoyance, pushing my hand away, "Tell Max I say hi," He said, "If these people let me," He pointed at his parents, "I would visit him soon."

I chuckled before my eyes flickered to Emma, she gave me a wink and something pushed me forward to give her a hug for the very first time in my life. My arms wrapped around her and she tensed a bit, totally not expecting it. Slowly, her hand came to my back as she uncomfortably returned the hug.

I pulled back and faced her very puzzled expression, "I didn't have my mother beside me here, I kinda needed her but you made it easier," I explained the reason behind my warm gesture, "So, thank you."

My words made her smile, this time genuinely, "Just remember what we talked about, okay?"

I nodded, I will definitely do that. I turned around, my eyes drifting to Nikolas and I took a few steps closer to him, "So, I guess I will see you soon," I said and he nodded, "Soon."

A little devilish idea crept its way into my brain and I edged forward and did just like last time, I wrapped my arms around his waist, giving him a quick hug when he least expected it. My action still took him off guard, just like the time before and I suppressed my laugh as I pulled back, "Bye," I said, quickly turning around to hide my crime but his hand shot to my arm almost immediately, stopping me.

Mission failed. He turned me around and his eyebrow raised as he extended his hand forward. I repeat, mission failed.

"Give it back," He said, trying to hold back his own smile at my semi-childish action.

I groaned and placed the gun I stole back into his palm. I pouted and he chuckled, a low and impressed one. At least, I amaze him at my many failed attempts.

"One day, I will get one," I remarked and he nodded, his gaze challenging, "We'll see about that."

Well dear uncle, challenge accepted.

*************

A couple of hours later...

Letting out a bored sigh, I closed the book I was reading and pushed it into the seat's pocket ahead of me. I checked the time to see we still have a couple more hours left to land.

I looked around the plane in complete boredom, damn, flying with Chase was more fun.

Letting out another sigh, my eyes drifted to dad beside me, he was in his own world, his eyes were on the small window, his gaze lost somewhere as his fingers anxiously tapped over the armrest. He looked stressed as he thought something through.

Trying to ease the tension, I pulled the armrest up and inched closer to him, leaning over his arm and grabbing his attention away from the troubled thoughts roaming his mind. Lines etched his forehead as he turned to me. I flashed him a smile, a one that made him smile back before he moved his arm and placed it around my shoulder, pulling me to him.

He kissed the top of my head, "Thank god, you're okay," He whispered, more to himself than to me.

"And thank god you came for me," I mumbled into his embrace, "I don't want us to fight like that ever again," I added sadly, the memory of what we said to each other bringing a bitter taste to my mouth.

"Then, don't ever do that again, Lilly," He said, his tone turning serious, "I still can't get over what you said to your mother, or how you let Max know about the truth just like that."

I pressed my eyes shut, shame coiled my stomach, and guilt tightened my throat, "But that's in the past now," He added and I pulled myself away from his embrace, my eyes meeting his, "I know you were in shock, but Lilly, you can never talk to your mother or disrespect her like that ever again."

I nodded, the old guilty tears gathering behind my eyes, "I know, I would never, I promise," I mumbled, "I am so sorry for all of that."

He brought his hand to my cheek, "And I am sorry for what I did," The muscles of his jaw worked as he shook his head, "I never...never thought I'd raise my hand on you," He brushed his finger over my cheek, "It's just, there was a day, very long ago where I gave myself a promise, that I would never let anyone hurt your mother again, no matter who it was, and at that moment, what you said, knowing how much it hurt her, I couldn't hold myself back."

"I deserved it," I really did, "You don't need to apologize for that, dad, I really deserved it."

He shook his head, "No, Lilly, I am your father, I am the one person who should never hurt you."

I offered him a somber smile, "You didn't, you gave me everything, dad," That persistent fear clouded my thoughts again, "I don't know what I'll ever do without you, or without mom and Max," Tears welled up in my eyes, "I took all of you for granted, but I promise I would never do the same mistake again."

"I know," He said, actually believing in me and that's what I needed.

I leaned into him again and he ran his hand over my arm as he opened a conversation I didn't expect him to open, "About what happened, about the... uh miscarriage," He said, the topic too uncomfortable, "Are you okay?" He asked, still concerned about my well-being.

I nodded, "Yeah, I am."

"I didn't talk to you about this before, because to be honest, I don't know how to."

"It's okay, Dad, I am okay, and actually," I pulled into a deep breath, "I think it was for the best."

"Are you sure?"

I nodded, "No one wanted that baby, you would've not wanted him either, so it was-"

"Who said that?" He interjected and I lifted my gaze to meet his confused one, "Dad, he was Christian's baby, how would've you ever accepted that?"

Lines pulled between his eyebrows, "It doesn't matter, whatever your decision would've been, I would've stood by it," He explained, "Lilly, I would've never forced something like that on you, do you not know me?" He questioned, "I would've helped you no matter what, I would've fought the whole world for you and-" He paused and shook his head at my sad expression, letting out a low breath, and closing the subject before it gets complicated, "It doesn't matter now, anyway."

An uncomfortable silence wrapped us in after, but dad broke it, "Also, FYI, I would prefer it if you don't give me any grandchildren anytime soon," he said, turning the conversation playful for my sake.

He winced at something, "Oh fuck," He looked like he was about to throw up, "I just realized that...that for you to get pregnant, then-" He winced again, "You're my little bug for god's sake, that's not possible," He whined and shook his head repeatedly as if to shake the thought away, "Fuck, I need to go and throw myself off this plane," He added, ever so seriously, so annoyed and disturbed as he got to his feet and walked past my seat.

I chuckled at his very annoyed expression, "No grandkids, get that?" He stressed out again, shooting me a glare before he walked away, still mumbling, "I am still young. I can't be a damn grandpa for god's sake!"

Oh man, how did this conversation take such a turn?

*************

"Are you tired?" Dad asked as he steered the car's wheel, driving us back home.

I shook my head, "Not really," I ended up sleeping till the plane landed.

"Okay, it's Katherine's birthday, they are having a small dinner, you know, just us, wanna go?" He asked, "Your mother is there as well."

I nodded excitedly, "Yeah, yeah, of course, I miss them all," It's true I was here a week ago only, but due to everything that happened back then, we didn't all gather for a happy cause and this is the type of things that I need, parts of my old life back into their place.

Minutes later and we reached our destination. Dad got a phone call, he answered it and I made my way toward the house. I rang the bell and seconds later, it got opened.

The anxiety creeping to my chest felt so misplaced when my eyes met his blue ones. I suppressed down that quivering feeling and curled my hand into a fist as I put on a small smile, "Hey."

He returned my smile, "Hey," He said back, his eyes drifting to dad behind me and he gave us space to enter. Dad was still busy on his phone, so he just gave Chase a wink before he walked in, while I stayed in my spot, my ears registering the voices coming from the other room.

My eyes went around the familiar house and I let out a low sigh, "It feels good to be back."

"It feels good to have you back as well," Chase said and I looked back at him, smiling, "I finally graduated, so very soon, I will be entering the adult world like you," I said, trying to not make us being in the same space awkward, especially after our last encounter.

I chose to take a step back, and I stand by my choice. I won't be making any moves, not when I still feel unworthy of this.

"I will rock this adult world, you'll see," I pointed out playfully and his smile turned genuine as he nodded, "I am sure you will."

"So, you'll be starting at the company soon?"

I nodded, excited at the thought, "Yeah, dad said I can start whenever I want, and I wanna start right away," I looked ahead of me, a bit hopeful to this new part of my life, "It feels more like a..."

I paused, searching for the appropriate word and he said it on my behalf, "A fresh start."

I nodded, "Yeah, exactly."

His expression shifted, "I think we all need that."

I tried to read behind the meaning of his words but before I could dwell long on the look in his eyes, someone came from behind him, interrupting our conversation, "Chase, where did you-" Her words paused midway when her eyes fell on me.

My jaw ticked at her sight and she didn't care to hide her hostile expression either. I looked away from her, my eyes on Chase as I excused myself, "I will go see where mom and Max are," with that, I walked past them and further inside.

I will just need time to get used to this. It won't be easy, but I have to, considering I am back, unfortunately, I will be seeing more of them together.

Mom was walking out of the living room, searching for me. Our gazes met and I smiled, instantly coming closer to hug her tight. Her arms wrapped around my body, "Oh baby, are you okay?" She asked, the worry tightening her throat as she ran her hand through my hair.

I nodded in her embrace, "Yes, I am more than okay now that I am back," I said honestly as I pulled back. Her eyes gently caressed my face before she tucked my hair behind my ear, just as delighted at my return, "No more leaving me, right?" She asked, and I nodded, "No more, I will make you get bored of me, you'll see."

She smiled and shook her head, "I would never."

My inside was all calmed down by now. It was really a whole new fresh start. My gaze flickered at the other person who came beside us, "Hey you," I said, leaving mom's side and went toward Max's.

His eyes narrowed at me, suspiciously flickering all over me and I rolled my eyes, "See, I am in one piece still," I remarked and he shook his head, still not buying it.

"Now, come and give me a hug," I said, inching closer and wrapping my arms around him, "How you're doing? Does it still hurt? You're taking your medicine on time, right? Also-"

He let out an annoyed sigh, "Lilly, I am fine," He said, hugging me back, "Stop treating me like I am sick."

I pulled back and shot him a glare at his response. Mom headed back inside and I was about to follow her but Max stopped me, his hand on my arm as he strictly asked, "What happened there?"

I shook my head, "Nothing important."

The muscles of his jaw worked and he hefted an annoyed breath at my obvious lie. At this moment, as I took into his annoyed grumpy expression, I couldn't miss the resemblance, especially after spending this much time with Nikolas.

"He is going to be back in a couple of days," I said, out of the blue and Max's eyebrows pulled closer.

"I didn't ask," He said, understanding who I am referring to.

I nodded, "But you were wondering it, weren't you?"

He dismissed the subject right away, "No, I could care less."

He decided to end the conversation there and I followed him as he walked into the living room, where everyone else was gathered. I talked with uncle Ashton and auntie Katherine, wishing her a happy birthday.

Time passed smoothly after, we all ate our food and talked about random things. It was just us along with Zack's mother and her daughter. At the moment, I couldn't help but wonder what is Zack doing nowadays, it's been ages since I last saw him. I hope he isn't a dick anymore, although I really doubt that.

It was a small nice dinner with family, something I missed, except for Aylin of course, who is not part of this family but still managed to be here somehow. I tried my best to steer away from them both all through out the night. Every time I look at them, she would be acting all cute and fake to Katherine, whispering things in Chase's ears, smiling and laughing, running her hand all over his arm. I tried not to get angry or affected, but you can't control it sometimes.

It's just, she doesn't feel genuine to me. Maybe I am reading too much into it, but her lovey-dovey actions felt more like she was trying to send me a message, a one warning me to stay away. Or maybe, it's just my jealousy that's blinding me. Anyway, it doesn't matter.

It was getting late, so Zack's mother left and I think Aylin decided to leave as well. Thank god. I couldn't stop myself from looking as she tiptoed and wrapped her arms around his neck. Like why? What's the point? Ugh. Don't they live in the same house, she will see him there for god's sake.

My jaw ticked and I rolled my eyes as I looked away. Involuntary, my fingers tightened over the armrest, the jealousy uncontrobally burning through my chest like wildfire.

Fuck this.

"To be honest, I never liked her either," I whipped my head to auntie Katherine, my eyes widening a bit at her whispered words.

She leaned toward me, "They're no longer together, yet she still sticks around," She sighed, "I don't get it."

I almost choked on my saliva, "They...They're not together?!" Wow, I sounded more excited than I should've.

Katherine flashed me a knowing smile, already realizing how badly I needed to hear that. She gave me a wink, and placed her hand over mine, "Of course, they aren't."

My eyebrow raised at her teasing tone, "You're still not giving up on your ship, huh?"

Her smile widened, "Never," She said ever so proudly, "I am gonna get that five hundred bucks from your father, you have my word."

I wanted to be as excited as her, but she was building dreams over a shaky ground. I shook my head, "I don't think you'd feel the same way when you know that I hurt your son."

She nodded, "I know," She said and my eyes grew a bit wide, "He's my boy, I can read him like an open book, so yeah, I know things weren't easy, but-" She shrugged, "Lilly, no relationship is ever easy, you two were young, and mistakes were made, that happens."

Her eyes drifted to uncle Ashton as he and dad talked about something, "I made mistakes too once," She said and turned to me, smiling, "But when what you two have is real, you'll find a way somehow."

I smiled at her words, at the hope in them. It relaxes me knowing that even though you could mess up, there is something known as a second chance.

I excused myself and headed to the bathroom. Right when I was about to enter, Aylin walked out, almost bumping into me. I decided it's better to ignore her and continued my way but she had other plans as her hand came to my arm, stopping me.

I turned around, my eyebrows raising at her action. She's got some nerve, and well, I got a knife in my pocket.

"Can we talk?" She asked, pulling on the angelic sweet act.

"About what?"

She looked around then settled her gaze on me, "I don't know what your intentions are, Lilly, but I think it's better if you keep your distance from him."

I let out a low chuckle, "And who are you to tell me what to do and what not?"

She shook her head, "That's not what I meant," She said, "But before you came back, we were okay, he was okay, we were happy, everything was normal, but then you showed up and you turned everything upside down like you always do."

My eyebrows pulled together, "I didn't do anything, so watch your words, I am not you Aylin, so don't worry, I won't come in between your relationship."

She nodded, "That's good, because you were never good for him."

Don't pull the knife, Lilly. Don't.

"I don't think you're the one to decide that," I remarked, forcing myself to stay calm. The last thing I need is to make a scene right now.

"But you know that I am right," She said, "I would never hurt him, but you always do, so if you really care about him, stay away."

The fucked part about this is that she was right.

"Like I said, I am not here to take him from anyone, but you need to know your limit," I took a step forward, my tone not too pleasant, warning her, "Don't ever tell me what to do, you won't like my reaction the next time."

She was about to say something but I interrupted her, "Maybe you're right, you won't hurt him, but Aylin, I don't think it's real love you have for him," I said, "We were friends for so long, so I know you, and I know how you function and what you want."

"Everything about Chase fits very well into your criteria," I remarked, "It's not love, actually, it feels more like an...obsession."

"So before you come in here accusing me, take a look at yourself in the mirror first," I ended my words there and walked away.

*************

Nikolas's POV

I unclocked the door and stepped inside, feeling homesick after everything that happened since Alex called with the news that Max was hurt. I closed the door behind me and right then, footsteps echoed in the house before she came into view.

My sight alone had her expression break into a relieved one before she rushed forward to me, crashing into my arms.

I hugged her back, the muscle beating against my ribcage calming down at her touch, "I missed you," She mumbled sadly and I tightened my hold over her body, my nose buried in her hair, filling the ache these past weeks left with her sweet scent.

She pulled back a fraction, her bright blue eyes flickering to my face, "How are you?" She asked, lines etching between her eyebrows before her hand went to my shirt, removing it to the side and checking herself, "How is your wound?" She asked addressing the surgery, "You're taking your medicines, right?" She scolded, knowing very well I didn't.

She gently ran her fingers over the scar the surgery left and she let out a low sigh, "You have one kidney now, which means I need to take extra care of you," She was still scolding me, "Considering you never do that yourelf!"

She shot me a glare at my lack of response and she hefted out an annoyed breath, "You're not gonna say anything?"

Her annoyed expression had me breaking into a smile, my hands cupping her face, "I just missed you," I simply said and leaned in to peck her lips.

She let out a content sigh, smiling happily, "How is Max?" She asked, "And Lilly? Are they okay? I was so worried."

"They're fine," I said, "But, it's not over yet."

Concern tightened her brows, "You still couldn't find who hurt Max, right?" She shook her head in disbelief, "I don't understand who would do that!"

I kept silent, out of words. If our theory turns out to be right, then I have no idea how this would work, how would I tell her, and how would she react.

"This means you'll have to go away again," She added, her eyes dimming in pure sadness.

I nodded, "How about you come with me this time," I suggested, "Maybe Lilly and Max can meet you."

She nodded in excitement, "Yes, I would love to, last time I saw them they were just little kids."

"Talking about kids," She added, "How do you think Max will react?"

I shook my head, "I have no idea."

Lilly was slowly warming up to me, understanding that once her and I, we shared a bond. But for Max, it feels almost impossible to gain his trust and belief, and that terrifies me.

Natalie fixed the collar of my shirt and tried to pull me down from it, "Now, come and give me a smooch."

I chuckled and shook my head at her choice of words, "Smooch? Where do you get these words?"

Her eyebrow raised before she pulled me closer and right before her lips were about to touch mine, footsteps echoed as they went down the stairs.

Natalie groaned in annoyance, "And here comes the cockblockers."

************************************

Okay, it's been a while, I know, but neither work nor life are giving me a break smh.

Anyways, so whatcha ya think? From now on, considering Lilly is back, I promise it'll be more about her and Chase and their relationship.

Also, *starts crying* your comments on the favorite father-daughter/son duo moments on my wall made me so nostalgic omg *sobs*
I know my stories sometimes drift from the main characters and their love story and into the family matters, but I always feel like it's important!

For me, when reading, I hate when the book is only about these two main characters, I always love when the light sheds on the friends and families, so probably that's why I always have to make that happen in my books lol xD

Also, remember when I told you my bf started reading the death of me, so a couple of days ago, he finished it. He said he loved the storyline and all, he even liked the whole brother moments but he didn't change his opinion on Nik lmao, he still thinks he should've died so xD

He also liked baby Lilly and Chase hehe xD Let's see if I can force him to read this story as well!

Anyways, next update would be for Unraveling him, I promise to make it soon!

Love ya all!