Changmin didn't seem to really understand the concept of happiness. He would smile, but it never lasted more than a few seconds. He would laugh, but they it was always forced coming from him. And though he truly seemed happy at times, he wasn't.

He thought that if he forced himself enough, soon he'd be able to grasp what it was like to be happy. But Ji Changmin had pretended to the point of no return.

On the third week of our "relationship," I found Changmin crying once again. It brought me back to the day when I first met him - the crying, the screaming, it all came rushing back to me. The only difference this time was that he was crying on the school's rooftop, not in a classroom.

He didn't seem to be hiding from anybody this time, though, as if he'd gotten tired of hiding. I kept my distance from him, knowing what would happen if I approached him with his guard down. I didn't want to the the victim of another screaming fit.

It wasn't long before he started to yell. They were louder than last time and much more panicked. I watched him as he moved back into a corner, closing his eyes and hitting his head repeatedly. He was scratching his hand again. There were scars from last time he'd done that and the wound wasn't fully healed yet, but he could've cared less.

"Stop!" he kept yelling with his eyes shut tightly. "Stop it! Go away!"

I was confused. Who is he talking to? There was no one else there besides me and him - he couldn't have been talking to anyone else. But it took me longer than it should've to realize that he was talking to himself.

"Go away! Please, go away." The way he sounded so hurt brought tears to my eyes. He sounded so broken and weak. A part of me wanted to stop hiding and run up to him and hug him. I wanted to tell him that he was okay and that I was there for him, that I would stay there for as long as he needed me. But I didn't do that.

I did what I had done last time.

Ignoring his screaming and yelling, I turned around with tears threatening to fall from my eyes.

And I walked away.